Tuesday 30 April 2013

Several Queens and a King



It is a momentous day for our dear chums in Holland, as their Old Queen Beatrix steps down in favour of her son Willem-Alexander, who becomes the first King of the Netherlands since 1890.

We recently booked a well-overdue long weekend in Amsterdam - probably my 36th visit to my most beloved city - for my 50th (oo-er) birthday in August, and a whole host of friends will be coming over to join me to toast this auspicious occasion!

To mark this very Dutch day, here is another favourite old Dutch queen (whose own birthday it was yesterday), Gerard Joling - of "De Toppers" fame notoriety - duetting with the obviously straight (ha ha) Jan Smit, on a typically cheerful number that wouldn't sound out of place in the Eurovision Song Contest, Echte Vrienden [Real Friends].


Love it.

Read more about the inauguration of King Willem-Alexander

God red de Koning!

And many fantasies were learned



We're taking the time machine back thirty years again...

In this week in 1983, with the summit of the charts dominated by that damascene conversion of Spandau Ballet from cool kids to dreadful crooners, True, and the reprehensible Words by FR David, and such horrors as Cliff Richard and Toto hovering round it looked like the UK was being invaded by MOR music.

Thank heavens for The Human League, who had evidently struggled to get a suitable album together to follow the success of their world-beating Dare, and had decided to release an EP instead. From it came this return to form - it's the fabulous (Keep Feeling) Fascination:


If it seems a little time is needed
Decisions to be made
The good advice of friends unheeded
The best of plans mislaid

Just looking for a new direction
In an old familiar way
The forming of a new connection
To study or to play

And so the conversation turned
Until the sun went down
And many fantasies were learned
On that day

Keep feeling fascination
Passion burning
Love so strong
Keep feeling fascination
Looking learning
Moving on

Well the truth may need some
Re-arranging
Stories to be told
And plain to see the facts are changing
No meaning left to hold

And so the conversation turned
Until the sun went down
And many fantasies were learned
On that day

And so the conversation turned
Until the sun went down
And many fantasies were learned
On that day


Human League official website

Monday 29 April 2013

Great Machine for Catching Villains


From the itemised records of the 90s through to the detailed records of our online behaviour, it is getting easier to track what we do. There is vastly more information now about our every movement than there ever has been.

Such information can be very useful to law enforcement agencies and other public bodies. There were 494,078 requests for ‘communications data’ under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act in 2011.

Some of the information about our connected lives is not legally available to law enforcement. Much of it, for example information from social media or our web histories, can be incredibly intrusive. It can reveal intimate details, including where we have been, what we have done, what we believe and who we know.

Through mistakes or abuse, the use of such information can lead to anything from wrongful suspicion through to the settling of scores. Merely the knowledge that what we are doing or saying is being tracked can have a chilling effect.

Just because information is useful to law enforcement does not mean that the state, or law enforcement agencies, or public bodies should be able to order its collection or have access to it. Our privacy rights are essential to ensure that we do not give away the power to collect and use information too cheaply.

The Government’s Communications Data Bill is a manifestation of the temptation to grab data where it exists, and of a failure to consider alternatives to blanket collection and retention of data.
From the Open Rights Group campaign against the "Snoopers' Charter" - read more

In February 2012, the coalition government announced plans to require communications service providers (everyone from ISPs to social networks) to intercept and collect everybody’s communications data just in case it's needed later in an investigation. In December 2012, the Joint Committee that examined this new draft Bill published its critical report and the Home Office has been re-drafting the Communications Data Bill since then.

But just this week Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg appears to have blocked the attempt by the current Home Secretary Theresa May to present the Bill to Parliament in the Queen's Speech on 8th May. He said plans to monitor records of people's internet use was "not going to happen" with the Lib Dems in government.

Responding to his comments, made in his weekly radio phone-in, campaign group Liberty said:
"If the Snoopers Charter really is dead, that's cause for significant celebration and relief. People live more and more of their intimate lives online and it was outrageous to suggest surveillance of the entire nation. Credit to all those in parliament and beyond with the imagination and courage to block this terrifying plan."
The Home Office declined to comment on what Clegg said. Discussions are apparently still going on to try to thrash out an agreement ahead of the Queen's Speech.

Meanwhile, the simply spiffing Professor Elemental has gone and got himself involved, and has built a Great Machine for Catching Villains!






It would be even funnier if it weren't so near the truth.

Spare me the eight to five people



Another weekend over too soon, and it was too cold to do any of the planned jobs around the extensive gardens of Dolores Delargo Towers. Dammit.

Never mind, on this Tacky Music Monday we have a typically sultry number by yesterday's birthday girl Miss Ann-Margret to warm our cockles - it's the title song from yet another of her long-forgotten movies The Pleasure Seekers. Va-va-voom!


Some people just run from the fun things in life
The boredom they've got, you could cut with a knife
They're the ones who look up as the jets go by
But you take me
I just gotta be
With the ones that fly

Spare me the eight to five people
Those half alive people
I'll take the set that likes to get off and dine
Give me the pleasure seekers
Every time

Spare me the naughty word watchers
Also the bird watchers
In other words they're for the birds not for me
Give me the pleasure seekers
Every time

It's cocktails at nine
At midnight we dine
Then bubbly wine
In a small cafe where the gypsies play
Till the break of day
Olé

No one you know lives twice mister
Take my advice mister
Give what you got before it's not there to give
Get with the pleasure seekers
Lovers and cheeks and chicas
Seek the pleasure seekers
And live!
And live!
And live!


Sentiments very dear to our hearts...

Ann-Margret (born 28th April 1941)

Sunday 28 April 2013

Scratch'n'sniff?



A pair of Tom Daley's Team GB swimming trunks have sold for £540 at an auction of items from the London 2012 Games.

Any excuse, really, to feature some more pics of our favourite houseboy...










I'd pay more!

Read the article on the BBC

Tom Daley on Wikipedia

Saturday 27 April 2013

Fishwives, an amputated nose, hoofers, bonk-busters, brothels and a kiss from Miss Babs


[Photo: krysphotos.co.uk]

Last night's outing for "London's peerless gay literary salon" Polari was possibly one of the most entertaining, most thrilling evenings I have had for a long time! We had been promised a "special surprise guest", and my word did we get one - none other than the lovely Celia Imrie!



Ange, John-John, little Tony, our Paul, Craig and "Polari virgin" William were champing at the bit with excitement as we took our seats, and our host Paul Burston opened the show by introducing our first reader, newcomer and recipient of a number of "first book" awards Miss Kerry Hudson.



She read us a very funny extract from the book that has won her all those accolades, the amusingly-titled Tony Hogan Bought Me an Ice-cream Float Before He Stole My Ma. A tale that "tells the story of a Scottish childhood of filthy council flats and B&Bs, screeching women, feckless men, fags and booze and drugs, the dole queue and bread and marge sandwiches" - how could you not love a novel that opens like this?
‘Get out, you cunting, shitting, little fucking fucker!’ were the first words I ever heard. The midwife, a shiny-faced woman who learned entirely new turns of phrase that night, smoothed Ma’s hair.

‘Yer both fine. We’ll have tae give yeh a quick stitch up later, but – baby girl just ripped you a wee bit coming out.’

Ma laid me, sticky and slack-limbed, on her chest and wondered how something so pink, puckered and fragile could be so vicious as to tear the person who was meant to love her most in the world. But that was the Ryan Women: fishwives to the marrow, they were always ready to fight and knew the places that would cut deepest.

I was not vicious, though. No one could tell if I was clever, or sly as my grandma had predicted while blowing Benson & Hedges smoke rings over my ma's swollen belly. I was a "bad baby", forever gurning and spitting out my ma's nipple. My delicate skin had mottled with the indignation of being ripped by forceps from a warm, cosy spot where I was perfectly happy.

For all my fretful kicking at the air and scratching at my own face, my saving grace was beauty. Everyone said so; a golden baby with extra-blue eyes, the slope of my nose and forehead just so.

"She'll be a wee heartbreaker," Grandma said, smoothing down her mint-green nylon trousers. "But she'll have a lot o' jealousy. An' I know wha' a burden it is tae be born with beauty."

Grandma's violet eyes filled and the tears seeped through her pale powder into the wrinkles underneath.

Ma held me to her bony chest, resting my bum on the roll of flesh under her sharp ribs, which was all that remained of my home.

"Aye, she takes after her daddy. He was gorgeous. Those American blue eyes. She's the spit of him."

Ma's face crumpled, her mouth sagged in a whine and her face turned pink. I wondered what I'd been born into.

Other mas in the ward came over and eyed me suspiciously, checking I wasn't heavier, livelier or prettier than their babies. Ma's – my – family came and held their faces so close to mine I could smell whether they'd had booze or food for breakfast. It was mostly booze.
Excellent...



Next to the podium was an old favourite - the wonderful actress and writer of plays, non-fiction and whodunits, and wearer of the most fabulous array of diamanté and pearls Miss Fidelis Morgan (who we so enjoyed at her last visit to Polari in January 2013).

She was as entertaining and dramatic as ever, reading an extract from one of her 18th century murder mysteries The Rival Queens, featuring the Countess Ashby de la Zouche, her maid, some outlandish theatricals, a lot of society gossip, scandalous affairs and intrigue, and some unfortunate amputations (a missing nose being the least of it); and a second from her more recent, and equally intriguing novel, The Murder Quadrille. But this was not all Miss Morgan was going to do on this particular evening...



As an almost hysterical Mr Burston - who had been asked by the lady in question "am I really a gay icon?", to which the only answer could be "of course you bloody well are!" - introduced Miss Celia Imrie to the stage, to riotous applause from our packed audience (that included such arty luminaries as Terry Ronald, Stephen Appleby, Helen Smith, Eve Ferret, Suzi Feay, VG Lee, Max Wallis, William Parker, DJ Connell and Toby Tobes), so Miss Morgan reappeared to play "interviewer" for Miss Imrie [the two ladies are evidently very close friends, and the chemistry was perfect], as she related some of the many fascinating anecdotes from her autobiography The Happy Hoofer.



From her phobia of flying that means she travels everywhere on cruise ships, to the preponderance of plastic surgeons among the swanky boutiques of Los Angeles (where she landed her recent role in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel), to the harrowing experience of auditions, to her myriad film and TV appearances and co-stars, she presented each vignette in such a charming and engaging manner, we were hypnotised - and she finished of with a world premiere of a hilarious piece from her forthcoming one-woman show. We really must look out for that one!

Here is the lady herself, taking a little about the book:


And here (inevitably) is one of her classic appearances on the legendary Acorn Antiques:


Exhausted with laughing, it was time for a break - during which time we queued for copies of The Happy Hoofer, which the wonderful Miss Imrie duly signed. Then it was time for part two...



There is very little that could top the experience of of Celia (and Fidelis) on stage, so our fave Miss Lauren Henderson aka Rebecca Chance was taking few risks when she manoeuvred the two ladies to tread the boards once again, this time to act out a marvellous scene from one of her own bonk-busters Killer Heels.



Mere words cannot describe how utterly camp this was, but suffice to say we were in stitches as "ruthless fashion magazine editor Victoria Glossop" (Miss Imrie) savaged "starry-eyed ingenue Jodie/Coco Raeburn" (Miss Morgan) at her interview for the job of her PA (shades of The Devil Wears Prada). With Lauren/Rebecca's narration on top, this was totally outrageous, priceless stuff!



As our headline reader the eminent Paul Bailey remarked drily, "I only wish I could have lowered the tone. I don't think that is possible." However, he rounded-off the sexual theme of the evening perfectly with his exquisitely-written (and read) pieces from his book Uncle Rudolf - the first charting the inner turmoil and conflict of a wartime Romanian refugee and his hesitant, stumbling encounter with the longed-for "beast" he so desires in a male brothel in Paris, and the second, also in a brothel (of the female kind), where the boy confronts his inner feelings while faced with the dilemma of an unwanted prostitute purchased for him by his beloved uncle. Exemplary literary magic; we were transfixed.



And so, leaving us breathless with the exuberance of it all, the evening sadly ended (with the usual mingling and chatting; before going for more drinks to calm down).



This was a first-class Polari - the like of which we are unlikely to see again in a hurry - proving once more that this is indeed one of the best nights out you can have anywhere...

Polari now has its own website - http://www.polariliterarysalon.co.uk/.

On the bill at the next one on Tuesday 28th May are old favourites Christopher Fowler, Sophia Blackwell and VG Lee, plus Andrew Belshaw, Greg Mitchell and Anny Knight. Can't wait!

Friday 26 April 2013

King Hansjörg



Just as the weekend looms, the heavens open (of course). Ho hum, never mind - we have a "special surprise guest" to enjoy at Polari tonight, and hopefully Sunday (at least) will be sunny, so all is OK with the world!

Today we celebrate the birthday of the Master of Disco, the man who took a largely Motown'n'strings-cum-salsa based musical genre and melded it with what were previously only thought of as "cold" European synthesised "machine music" sounds to create the legendary dance music style we recognise today.

Giorgio Moroder unleashed the beast, and it survived through many forms - Disco, Hi-NRG, House, Techno - to continue to underpin much of "electro" dance music today.

As their own tribute, in 2000 the DJs Jam & Spoon took one of Moroder's classics, The Chase (the theme from Midnight Express), and gave it sufficient "oomph" to send it to the top of the dance charts across the world.

The result is rather fab - Thank Disco It's Friday!


Hansjörg "Giorgio" Moroder (born 26 April 1940)

Have a great weekend, peeps!

Thursday 25 April 2013

The eyes have it



Two birthdays. Two legends. Two "Angel Eyes".

Compare and contrast...


Ella Fitzgerald (25th April 1917 – 15th June 1996)


Björn Ulvaeus of ABBA (born 25th April 1945)

Wednesday 24 April 2013

Vive la différence



Hoorah!
France has become the 14th country to approve a law allowing gay marriage.

The bill, which also legalises adoption by same-sex couples, was passed by 321 votes to 225 in the French parliament.

The decision follows a divisive public debate with some of the biggest protests seen in France in recent years.
To celebrate, here's an appropriate number from that French icon Edith Piaf:


Read more on the BBC

Make me a match



I know I have featured this strange coincidence before, but when we have two of our Patron Saints sharing a birthday, what can one do but try and make a connection?

There are probably myriad connections, personally and professionally. However there is one notable work that provides the link today between our birthday girls Barbra Streisand (71) and Shirley MacLaine (79) - Thornton Wilder's finest moment, his play The Matchmaker!

For indeed, Miss MacLaine starred in the original 1958 screen adaptation of Mr Wilder's play - as the romantic lead, milliner Irene Molloy:


And of course, in 1969 Miss Streisand took the eponymous "Matchmaker" role in the Ernest Lehman/Gene Kelly adaptation of the Jerry Herman musical based upon that same play, Hello Dolly!:


Happy birthday, ladies!

Mega-Babs

Shirl

Tuesday 23 April 2013

If England means as much to you...



For my English chums on this, their national day...


St George's Day

Over at the Museum of Camp, we celebrate a very different George...

Unashamed populist



85 years ago, a television legend was born.

Sir Bill Cotton (son of the famous bandleader Billy Cotton), as the BBC's Head of Light Entertainment in its 1970s heyday was always determined to promote British stars for British television, and during his time such transatlantic imports as Lucille Ball, Dick Van Dyke and Perry Como were replaced with the likes of Cilla Black, Des O'Connor, Russ Conway, Val Doonican and Bruce Forsyth.

He introduced and nurtured the production of many of the most famous of the BBC's light entertainment classic programmes - including Porridge, Dave Allen At Large, Dad’s Army, Morecambe and Wise, Till Death Do Us Part, Steptoe and Son, The Liver Birds, The Generation Game, Parkinson, The Two Ronnies, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em, Last of the Summer Wine, The Likely Lads and The Good Life.

"I am and always have been an unashamed populist," was his famous mantra.

Unsurprisingly his legacy has never been matched, and, in this era of reality/celebrity-dominated television, we mourn the demise of BBC light entertainment to this day.

A perfect excuse, methinks, to show a few reasons why...






Sir William Frederick "Bill" Cotton CBE (23rd April 1928 – 11th August 2008)

Monday 22 April 2013

Thought for the day



Been there.

Dance and be merry, it's only a dime



Another weekend is over, and yet again we curse our alarm clocks for reminding us that we have another week in work ahead...

Never mind, to cheer us up on this Tacky Music Monday we have a real wake-up call - courtesy of a sadly overlooked artiste (who is apparently still with us at the ripe old age of 88!), Miss Jane Morgan.

Here, she takes histrionics to a higher level in this marvellous "whore medley" - Ten Cents a Dance and Hey, Big Spender - and don't we just adore her for it?


Big hair, big lungs, big gestures - all we ever need from our divas...

Have a good week, folks!

Of course, I have blogged about Miss Morgan before - read more.

Jane Morgan at Wikipedia

Sunday 21 April 2013

She doesn't have a lot to say




Happy Birthday, Ma'am!

HM The Queen (born 21 April 1926)

Saturday 20 April 2013

El Rey



El Rey - the King of Latin Music, Tito Puente would have been 90 years old today.

Surprisingly, given his eternal association with the music of Latin America, Señor Puente was not born in Cuba, nor Puerto Rico, but was raised in the El Barrio area of East Harlem in Manhattan. He was brought up with not only the traditional Latin sounds of his family and neighbourhood, but also the emergent big band swing of Count Basie and Tommy Dorsey. Famously, his mother, frustrated by the young Tito's aversion to learning piano and his preference for banging out rhythms on pots and pans around the house, eventually sent him to learn drums instead - and a legend was born.

In his career of more than 50 years, he was recognised as one of the greatest proponents of the fusion between jazz and swing with mambo, salsa and ton, winning five Grammys. Over the decades his collaborators included such diverse legends as bandleader Machito, George Shearing, Woody Herman, La Lupe, Lionel Hampton, Celia Cruz, Cal Tjader, La India, Hector Lavoe, Della Reese and Sheila E. He had a direct influence on later successful Latin artists such as Santana, Gloria Estefan, Marc Anthony and Ricky Martin, and among his many accolades he received the National Medal of Arts and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Here are just two examples of his genius:



It seems like only yesterday that I posted a tribute to the great man on the occasion of his 85th anniversary.

A great loss to music.

Ernesto Antonio "Tito" Puente (20th April 1923 – 1st June 2000)

Friday 19 April 2013

I’ll be your second harmony



It's here...

The weekend looms, and so we must get ourselves in the mood to celebrate! What better way to do so than in the company of "the queen of UK disco" herself, Miss Tina Charles? Get your Elnette out and spray those flicks into oblivion - I'll Go Where the Music Takes Me, indeed.

Too right I will - and Thank Disco It's Friday!


Tina Charles at Discogs

More Tina

Thursday 18 April 2013

I Am Nellifer!



That someone came up with the idea of showing Egyptian-themed movies in the midst of the greatest collection of artefacts from that empire's history outside Cairo - they have already shown such gems as Carry On Cleo and Caesar and Cleopatra - is inspired in itself. However, the decision by the hosts of this cornucopia of antiquities, the Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology (our fave small museum in London) to show last night Howard Hawks' much-derided glittering epic Land of the Pharaohs (starring none other than our Patron Saint Joan Collins) was a stroke of genius, high camp style!



I had never seen this high-gloss melodrama before, but my "Campdar" sense was on full alert when I spotted this event and booked seats for Madam Arcati and I - and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. As our "MC", Egyptologist John J Johnston (who also hosts fabulous annual LGBT History month events at the museum) quite rightly observed, the evil scheming bitch role of Queen Nellifer was "a role Joan Collins was born to play and, unfortunately, she has played it in everything ever since..."

Here's the review/description by Hal Erickson from AllRovi of Land of the Pharaohs:
"Nobody knew how a Pharaoh talked!" That's how producer/director Howard Hawks explained some of the sillier dialogue exchanges in the William Faulkner-Harry Kurnitz-Harold Jack Bloom script for Hawks' Land of the Pharaohs.

Extravagantly produced with a cast of seeming millions (actually there were some 10,000 extras), the film speculates on the circumstances surrounding the construction of the Great Pyramids of Egypt. Jack Hawkins plays the Pharaoh, who orders enslaved architect James Robertson Justice to build a magnificent, thief-proof tomb for him.

At first, the people of Egypt willingly pitch in to construct the huge pyramid. But as the years roll by and the work shows no signs of abating, the Pharaoh begins relying upon forced labour from lands he has conquered. He also plunders the coffers of his neighbouring countries. Cyprus can't pony up the necessary gold, so the country sends luscious Joan Collins (complete with a jewel in her navel) as a "present" for the Pharaoh. Fascinated by the spitfire Collins, the Pharaoh makes her his second wife. What he doesn't know is that Collins is just as much a predator as she would be in the TV series Dynasty.

Hoping to gain all of the Pharaoh's kingdom and the riches therein, she stage-manages her husband's death. After the funeral procession, the Pharaoh is sealed in his tomb by a series of sand-operated weights, levers and pulleys (this speculation as to how the Pyramids were closed is the most fascinating part of the film). Collins watches in barely controlled glee; she isn't yet privy to the Egyptian custom of entombing the Pharaoh's widow alive, along with her husband's body - but she soon will be.
We were in camp heaven, needless to say!

The classic denouement alone was worth it:


Facts about Land of the Pharaohs:
  • Dewey Martin (Senta), the film’s resident hunk, eventually (briefly) married another camp icon, Miss Peggy Lee! [NB Mr Martin is, remarkably, still with us - at the age of 89.]
  • Howard Hawks himself disliked the movie, describing it in an interview as “a lousy picture.” When the BFI decided to do a retrospective season on his works, he asked them not to feature it.
  • Warner Brothers issued the movie on DVD in its “Cult Camp Classics” series, alongside such marvels as Joan Crawford’s last film Trog and that masterpiece of kitsch, Queen of Outer Space starring Zsa Zsa Gabor.
I can't wait to see what other OTT epics the Petrie Museum will trot out in the future...

Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology

Land of the Pharaohs on IMDB

Wednesday 17 April 2013

The last word...



Elgar dedicated Nimrod: "To my friends pictured within".)


"The Prime Ministers who are remembered are those who think and teach, and not many do. Mrs. Thatcher... influenced the thinking of a generation." - a tribute by her implacable sworn enemy, Tony Benn

The funeral

Tuesday 16 April 2013

Spike...







...there could never be another.


Terence Alan Patrick Seán "Spike" Milligan (16th April 1918 – 27th February 2002)

Monday 15 April 2013

Eye of the Tiger





Ah, Mondays. How we hate them.

After a "mixed blessing" weekend, weatherwise - miserable, cold and wet on Saturday followed by a magnificent 21C (71F) sunny day yesterday - it's back to work we go, only able to look out longingly upon the emerging springtime through tinted glass...

Never mind, on this Tacky Music Monday let's get into the fighting spirit in the company of the utterly terrifying Irma Serrano - the fierce ruling diva known as "La Tigresa" - in this marvellous clip from Tierra Mala.

Lord only knows what she's so angry about (maybe she has to work in a soulless office too, or maybe she's just annoyed that man has his cock in his hand?), but she is fabulous!


The life story of Miss Irma Serrano is a fascinating, OTT and camp one (as one might expect), full of scandal and outrage - and you should turn to my blog "La Tigresa" from this time last year to read the whole tacky saga.

Irma Serrano (born December 9, 1933)

Sunday 14 April 2013

Levimuusika



I am way, way overdue sharing another selection of the newer music that I have located via the wonder of the interweb recently. And so without further ado, and in the words of the immortal Ida Barr, let's "pump up the wireless!"

Always sassy, always welcome - house favourite Luciana is back again, continuing her "world domination tour" with another new stomper - U B The Bass. Magnificently odd video, too!


Keeping up the beats, here's the artist known as Warren Nomi (no relation to the fantabulosa Klaus Nomi, to my knowledge), and his new disco-tinged dancefloor number The Rush:


He also sometimes goes by the name "Nomi Madness", and among his more arty projects is a rather fabulous video montage for this song, French Kisses - a slice of camp genius!


The artist occasionally known as Bimbo Boy, Dennis Alexis Hellström has recently formed a new musical outfit called Eurotix. Among the several tracks they have so far is this rather excellent track, Decadence. Very 80s!



Rather catchy indeed is the new collaboration between Armand Deluxe and a previously-featured artist here at Dolores Delargo Towers SirPaul - Touch Me is released on 21st April:


"You love the 70s but I'm a 90s bitch!" go the lyrics. To me, however, the newly released single (new for the UK, at least) by Icona Pop (featuring another vocalist we have featured here before, Charli XCX) sounds more than reminiscent of Plastic Bertrand's Ça Plane Pour Moi. No bad thing, of course - I Love It:


To compare and contrast, here's Mr Bertrand himself (well, not quite - the vocals were actually performed by the record's producer Lou Deprijck) from 1978:


Ready for some old-school gay porn? Well, who am I to refuse? - here's the Tom of Finland-inspired video by former-pornstar-turned-singer Mr Colton Ford for his new single Let Me Live Again, featuring at least one of Mr Ford's real-life boyfriends. The song itself is rather catchy and is apparently doing well in the US dance charts...


While we're at it, it's time for a bit of smutty kitsch drag methinks... Eternal thanks to the lovely Henry at Barbarella's Galaxy once again for this one - it's Willam Belli, Detox and Vicky Vox with their soon-to-be-a-classic Boy Is A Bottom:


And finally, the totty! Part protest song (against the anti-gay laws that are creeping in across Eastern Europe), part-porno video, our favourite houseboys Kazaky are back with their Depeche Mode influenced new song Crazy Law. Wiggle it, boys!


As always, enjoy, dears - and be sure to let me know what you think...

Saturday 13 April 2013

Fun and sunshine



Hoorah! One of our favourite TV series here at Dolores Delargo Towers is coming back...
ITV has confirmed details about the forthcoming sixth series of its hit sitcom Benidorm.

Seven new episodes are currently been filmed on location in Spain for broadcast on ITV later in the year.

Returning to enjoy the 'four star hotel treatment' in the new series are Mick Garvey (Steve Pemberton), Janice Garvey (Downton Abbey's Siobhan Finneran) and Madge Harvey (Sheila Reid).

Madge
Producers add: "Viewers will be surprised to see how grown-up Michael Garvey (Oliver Stokes) has become - he's now an adventurous teenager who's set to cause his parents many troubled afternoons by the pool."

The Dykes, a new family, are also set to be introduced in this series. Heading up the group are Clive (Perry Benson) and Tonya (Hannah Waddingham) - a lively Watford couple with Clive firmly under the thumb of his no-nonsense wife. They bring their two children with them, Bianca (Bel Powley) and Tiger (Danny Walters) - both are young, single and looking for fun.

Characters returning from previous series include popular swingers Donald Stewart (Kenny Ireland) and Jacqueline Stewart (Janine Duvitski), who fully intend to claim the free holiday that new manager Joyce Temple Savage (Sherrie Hewson) promised them at the end of the last series.

Jacqueline and Donald
The new series also sees Liam (Adam Gillen) join Kenneth DuBeke (Tony Maudsley) at his hair salon 'Blow & Go' - the very discreet and selective hair and beauty emporium within the Solana resort.

And hunky barman Mateo (Jake Canuso) still holds the fort behind the pool bar with the help of friendly transsexual Les/Lesley (Tim Healey).

Mateo
ITV has also revealed that Series 6 will see the return of Martin Weedon (Nicholas Burns), who was last seen in the sitcom in Series 3. Martin arrives on a loud and lairy stag do and, now very single, finds himself having a drunken 'encounter' with one of the well-known female holidaymakers.

Benidorm includes notable guest stars in each series, and Series 6 is set to see Ken Morley, best known for playing Reg Holdsworth in Coronation Street, making a guest appearance. Additionally Hollyoaks pin-up Philip Olivier will play a new character, and Matthew Kelly will return as Joyce's old flame, Cyril Babcock.

The Garveys with Cilla Black
Benidorm creator Derren Litten, who after sharing writing duties with Pemberton and Neil Fitzmaurice during Series 5, has returned to pen all seven episodes, says: "I'm so excited about Series 6 of Benidorm, probably more excited than all previous series.

"Apart from Dynasty Series 5 of course - what could possibly top the Moldavian Massacre?"
Campness abounds...




I can't wait!

Benidorm at the British Comedy Guide

Friday 12 April 2013

Not the words of one who kneels



Dame Shirley Bassey is among the panoply of stars (including Joan Collins, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Trevor McDonald, Michael Crawford, Katherine Jenkins and Terry Wogan) and politicians (and people we thought were already dead) who are attending Margaret Thatcher's funeral on Wednesday.

I doubt she'll be singing, but I imagine if she did it might well be this one she would choose - My Way:


Margaret Thatcher funeral

Calling all cars...



Almost there...

Hurtling towards what now looks like being a wet weekend, we still have no excuse not to dig out that old halter-neck jump-suit from the back of the wardrobe, and boogie on down with the foxy ladies of First Choice!

A most appropriate song for today (and I make no apologies for playing it again), dedicated to the very un-lovely Kim Jong-un - it's Armed and Extremely Dangerous... Thank Disco It's Friday!


Have a great weekend, dear reader!