Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Scrub away, scrub away, scrub away, the SR way

Britain's teeth are imperfect because they haven’t had lots of weird expensive shit done to them, it has emerged.

Following condemnation of the UK’s mouths from dentists and Americans, Britons have claimed their teeth looked flawed because that is cheaper and more natural than glueing on massive fake ones.

Teacher Susan Traherne said: “Are they still on about that, then, with the teeth?

“Has it not occurred to them that putting your teeth in a cage for six years or coating them in chemicals is a bit fucking weird?

“I went out with this American once, I couldn’t look at him directly, or I’d have afterimages burnt on my retinas for weeks.

“And dentists can shut up, they’re all weird sadists like out of a David Lynch film.”

Steeplejack Stephen Malley said: “Like anyone normal, I go to the dentist when I can’t stand the pain any more.

“My teeth aren’t white, no, but neither is my dick burnished with the lustrous shine of gold and I’m okay with that.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Miss Poly Styrene (RIP) has something to say, too...

[The "real" story]


  1. They were fab and the music still stands up even after all these years.
    thanks for the vid

    1. A ground-breaking band, that's for sure! Jx


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