Wednesday, 20 January 2016

My kingdom for a horse, or is it ass?


Following the appointment of Sarah Palin as War, Donald Trump is still looking for an additional two Horsemen before he is ready to ride.

The billionaire, who showed off his solid-gold scythe to cheering crowds begging for death yesterday, has admitted he is still missing key apocalyptic personnel.

He said: “Sarah Palin has just the qualities of belligerent, uninformed, self-justifying aggression that I need for War.

“And I, obviously, am Death, the end of it all coming with a vulgarity and greed that is all the 21st century deserves.

“But the vital roles of Pestilence and Famine, which might have a lower profile in the USA but are huge in the third world, remain unfilled.”


Shortlisted for Pestilence are the Ebola virus, a strain of anthrax engineered for biological warfare and "Blurred Lines" singer Robin Thicke.

Trump added: “I’m in negotiations with Ronald McDonald for Famine. He’ll sign, and that gives us kid appeal.

“Coming in 2017.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

The lunatics really are trying to take over the asylum.

Terrifying.

6 comments:

  1. I'm giving you advanced warning....if for some reason that lunatic gets in office as our President, I'm jumping ship...can you put me up at the luxurious Delores DeLargo Towers till I find a flat? The old men at Infomaniac frighten me on Fridays.

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    Replies
    1. You're a delicate hothouse flower, Maddie.

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    2. Mistress Maddie: I shall be opening a refugee camp for fleeing Romanovs in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Jx

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  2. i visited some old friends who surprised me by showing their support for trump & proclaiming hillary done for. they feel an up to now silent girlfriend will come forth soon & proclaim clinton a dyke & ruin her chances.

    i need a drink.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it's good enough for Ellen DeGeneres and Lily Tomlin, it's good enough for a President... Jx

      PS I'd have ditched the "old friends" by now.

      Delete

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