Saturday, 19 March 2016

A little slot that you tip pork scratchings into would help


A man has beaten a sophisticated artificial intelligence machine at drinking beer.

In a move designed to test the limits of technology, 30-year-old roofer Wayne Hayes took on Google’s DeepMind machine in a pint-for-pint battle.

A Google spokesman said: “Having recently beaten the human champion at the board game Go, we were eager to test DeepMind at something that Westerners can understand and respect.”

The AI machine was fitted with a specially-adapted USB cable with a pint glass on one end into which beer could be poured. However it broke after two pints, exploding in a shower of sparks as Stella Artois flooded its motherboard.

Hayes said: “I was confident from the start because that computer just didn’t have the red, bulky look of a drinker about it.

“They can build these machines that can do all sums and everything, but they’ll never take over from man if they can’t handle 15-16 pints of export lager.”


However the Google spokesman added: “We should have added a ‘piss port’ to allow DeepMind to expel fluids. Also I think a little slot that you tip pork scratchings into would help.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

2 comments:

  1. The only thing that makes pork scratchings anything resembling edible is beer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dissing our haute cuisine? Jx

      Delete

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