Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Star for the gallant hearts

Britons have asked Kate Bush to be their leader.

As it was emerged that nobody is currently in charge of anything, researchers at the Institute for Studies found that the Hounds of Love singer is the most popular choice to run the country.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “According to our poll, Kate Bush is well in the lead, followed by David Attenborough although he’s probably a bit old.

“Kate Bush is quite reclusive though, so we need to find out where she lives and then find out if she’s up for it.

“She’ll know what to do about all the shit that’s going on, she’s sold millions of albums compared to Boris Johnson’s album sales of zero. We could have Sade as her second-in-command, because Sade would bring a mellow, calming influence.”

Other popular choices include Alan Bennett, Professor Brian Cox and Yoda.

Mary Fisher, from Swindon, said: “We need an elected council of wise elders who are neither right or left but simply for the good of the country.

“Either that or we need a new album by The Smiths.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

They've got the stars for the gallant hearts.
I'm the replacement for your part.
But all I want to do is forget
You, friend.
Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror,
Won't leave me alone.
The first time in my life,
I leave the lights on
To ease my soul.
Hammer Horror, Hammer Horror,
Won't leave it alone.
I don't know,
Is this the right thing to do?

I'd vote for her!


  1. Hugh Grant!!! We need Hugh Grant!!! Well, he seemed to make a fine fist of it when he was in that film. Or Micheal Sheen.... he could probably do a good impression of being in control.

    1. I now have the image of Hugh Grant's fist in my mind. Jx


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