Thursday, 5 January 2017

Sensual, delicate and vulnerable?


Nigel Farage will wear a white dress and heels to serenade Donald Trump at his presidential inauguration, it has been confirmed.

With many high-profile performers rejecting offers to perform, the former UKIP leader has promised a ‘sultry’ and ‘husky’ rendition of Happy Birthday.

Farage said: “I’m going to strike just the right balance between mainstream family entertainment and outright eroticism.

“As well as being sensual, I am delicate and vulnerable, like a bird in a gilded cage, and I want to bring that across.

“Paul Nuttall might to a bit on his banjo too, if there’s time.”


Farage believes that a successful performance could lead to some sort of courtesan role that involves feeding Trump grapes while wearing a leather uniform.
The Daily Mash

Of course.

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