Thursday, 13 April 2017

Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feck


A Ryanair passenger has confirmed he would not mind being forcibly dragged off.

Wedged in a stained middle seat the size of a pizza box, Tom Booker has been idly fantasising about being forcibly removed from the plane and saved from a two-hour sweaty ordeal.

Booker said: “It’s only a boring work trip, and a couple of minutes of pain and humiliation are definitely better than being treated like a battery-farmed hen and trying to ignore my neighbour’s body odor while cabin crew try and make you buy a £30 cheese roll.

“At this stage I’d happily accept being dragged by my neck down the aisle rather than have to take this flight.

“I’d try and open the emergency exit and slide to freedom, but the cruel irony is I’m far too boxed in to get anywhere near it.”


Crew member Emma Bradford said: “Mr Booker tried to cause a disturbance by letting out a blood-curdling yell and banging his head repeatedly against the seat in front.

“I don’t think he realises that we’re Ryanair, that’s just normal behaviour for us. When he manages to get out on the wing with a bottle of Smirnoff, then we’ll talk.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

[And in case you do decide to brave the in-flight food - here's a salutary warning.]

I think there is no excuse but to re-visit an old favourite - by Fascinating Aida (who else?):


Begorrah.

2 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. The only reliable news source we have these days, methinks. Jx

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