Thursday, 15 June 2017

Unwittingly drinking instant coffee


Boutique festival Latitude will allow attendees to test their coffee for purity and bean quality, it has confirmed.

In a move designed to safeguard its clientèle from poor quality hot drinks, coffee testing stations will be positioned around the festival and operating on a ‘no questions asked’ basis.

A Latitude spokesman said: “While we don’t encourage coffee drinking, we acknowledge it does happen, especially if people have had a hard week working in London and need an extra boost to make it through Mumford and Sons.

“The important thing is safety. A lot of street level coffee isn’t even single origin, let alone single estate.

“In some cases people could be unwittingly drinking instant coffee or even that Mellow Bird’s stuff which has powdered milk already in it.”


Marketing consultant Nikki Hollis said: “Last year I scored a bad coffee at Latitude. It seemed fine at first but I developed a bitter taste in my throat while walking from a Zadie Smith talk to see a reformed 90s shoegaze band.

“I was sweating like a pig during Joanna Newsom’s set which I’m sure was because of toxins or something.

“Stay safe people, and don’t let non-artisan beans ruin your weekend.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

4 comments:

  1. I run a similar test of men's penis purity and quality. I think of it as a public service. Who want's a bad piece?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. " It seemed fine at first but I developed a bitter taste in my throat..."

      Oh, dear, no. Jx

      Delete
  2. If there was a laughing emoji,I'd insert it.
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

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