Wednesday, 19 July 2017

The man who pixelates the breasts



After revelations by the BBC about how much its "top" presenters earn, including Chris Evans (pay bracket: £2,200,000 - £2,249,999 - though what the hell he does to justify that is questionable!), Gary Lineker (£1,750,000 - £1,799,999), Graham Norton (£850,000 - £899,999), Jeremy Vine (£700,000 - £749,999), John Humphrys (£600,000 - £649,000), Steve Wright (£500,000 - £549,999) and Fiona Bruce (£350,000 - £399,999), this:
Channel Five has revealed the salaries of the woman who chooses the programmes and the man who pixelates the breasts.

The broadcaster said it was revealing the salaries of both its staff members because it wanted to demonstrate transparency and prove that the BBC is a total waste of time and money.

Programme chooser Emma Bradshaw, who is on £53,000 a year, said: “Half the greedy bastards at the BBC are on more than the prime minister of the UK. I get paid slightly more than the prime minister of one of the countries where the documentaries about stag parties are filmed.

“And more people want to watch shows about stuff getting repossessed than yet another costume drama about a bunch of ponces.”


Breast pixelater Wayne Hayes, who is on £39,000 a year, added: “I’m doing the job of 10 men. We like to show as many breasts as possible during the day, but because of the ‘rules’ I have to make them a bit blurry. It’s an awful lot of work.

“We used to have a guy who pixelated fannies, but now if a programme’s got fannies we just wait until after five o’clock to show it.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

10 comments:

  1. After five to show fannies? As late as that, Channel 5?!

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    1. Let's face it - no-one's going to be watching that crap anyway, fannies or no fannies... Jx

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  2. Makes me think of my days in Tokyo yonks ago - all Western magazines, from Time to the lowest smut, were censored. The Japanese, though, were too refined for merely slashing away with a Sharpie. No, all naughty bits (which included any visible body hair) were carefully obliterated by infinitely tidy hatchmarks apparently done with straight pins. Must have taken forever, as I never once saw a page ripped through...

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    1. Bizarre, considering the sheer volume of salacious pornographic smut the Japanese produce themselves. Jx

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    2. The Sun used to censor the word "tits" but still printed pictures of them.

      "T*TS".

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    3. The Sun is run by tits. Jx

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  3. Should have gotten rid of Chris Evans and kept Bake Off..... *mutters*.
    I need to find out more about this Japanese method of censorship, sounds most curious.
    Sx

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    Replies
    1. The Ginger Minger's career is completely incomprehensible to me. I don't know anyone who likes him. Jx

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  4. Jeremy vine is an absolute arsehole

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