Tuesday, 9 December 2014

No wind, no rain, nor winter's cold can stop me, babe

Britain's cigarette addicts have confirmed that no amount of bad weather will stop them inhaling carcinogens.

With snow and sub-zero winds predicted, smokers said they would be having their fag break even if there is a cyclone with cows and buildings swirling around in it.

Sales co-ordinator Stephen Malley said: “I’m in that office for hours at a time, staring at a computer screen, hating everything about the day.

“So if you think a bit of rain, thunder or a mild blizzard will stop me going outside for a smoke, you are very much mistaken.

“And if you think I should maybe try an electronic cigarette instead, I would suggest you maybe switch to decaffeinated coffee. Yeah.”

Hospital patient Nikki Hollis agreed: “Major surgery hasn’t stopped me from enjoying hourly gaspers in the bus shelter, so I’m damned if something as paltry as 16 feet of snow is getting in my way. I am literally burning my way through all obstacles.”

Non-smoker Roy Hobbs said: “I might be likely to live a lot longer than them, but I wish I had something in my life I was that passionate about.

“They are, in their modest way, heroes.”
The Daily Mash.

Of course.

British newspapers are talking about the weather. Again.

I need a fag.



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