¡El retorno!

Yes, we are back from another marvellous, fun-packed week in the (slightly breezy) sunshine of the lovely resort of Benalmadena on the Costa del Sol - tanned and gorgeous as ever!

We made the trip especially to join the celebrations to mark the 20th anniversary of our favourite and most regular beach bar, Palm 5, a tribute to its owner Arnold, and to the loveliest crew of staff you'll find anywhere - Rita, Kim, Danny, Sophie and the rest. There was a party on the Saturday evening we arrived and, despite being somewhat shell-shocked (as we were after two consecutive nights out at the theatre and a long day travelling), we had a whale of a time, especially as some familiar faces had also made the effort to be there, including former team members Manon (who now has her own bar Miluca along the paseo, which we also always visit), the lovely Andy (who was there with Arnold right at the outset when we first visited nineteen years ago), and the fantabulosa Cinzia [with us in the top photo] (who, by the end of her stay, had agreed to return to Palm 5 as manager!).

With all that, and great food, booze, visits to our night-time haunts in La Nogilera in Torremolinos Chessa Bar and Vida, booze, more great food, wallowing in the sun-terrace of another favourite bar The Dizzy Donkey, a Flamenco evening, and booze on top, we had a great holiday!

But what did we miss while we were away?

• New mitre, old dictatorship news: There's a new Pope, apparently.
• 'Tis the season news: The BBC Proms 2025 lineup was announced just before we left, and tickets go on sale this week. I haven't looked at it thoroughly, to be honest, but somehow I doubt we'll be buying tickets - especially since our fave event Proms in the Park is now defunct. Here's the trailer, for your delectation:

Get ready for the Proms 2025

• Slow news: A tortoise that went missing nine months ago has been found - just a mile from his home!
• A salutary tale: Don't volunteer to be a nude model for an art student!
• Old cocks cause arguments news: A professor at Oxford University says there are 93 depictions of male genitalia in the Bayeux Tapestry, while an expert on Anglo-Saxon nudity claims he has found an extra phallus. Cock-spotting? A hobby I understand.

Speaking of which: we missed celebrating the 50th birthday of sex god David Beckham...

...and that of Enrique Iglesias, as well as the 70ths of Donatella Versace and Anne-Sofie von Otter, the 60ths of Rob Brydon and Linda Evangelista and Lily Allen's 40th - and the 99th birthday of the "national treasure" Sir David Attenborough! We also missed the chance to bid a fond farewell to the faboo Ruth Buzzi, of Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In fame...

Whew.

To finish, here's a piece of music that was played at the Palm 5 party - we love it!

Dusty Springfield - Spooky [Quinten 909 Extended Remix]

Is it good to be back?

NO!!!

---

FOOTNOTE:

I haven't forgotten that it's a Tacky Music Monday - nor the fact that it's the Eurovision Song Contest (and our accompanying party, of course) this weekend.

Blending the two perfectly - this!

Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana

Oh, I cannot wait to see if anyone this year can top that!

I'm up in space, man

Wow.

For the first time in years, we have no need for our usual retort ”We wuz robbed!” For, at last night's Eurovision Song Contest, we most certainly were not...

It was a fabulous feeling in any circumstance to be hosting our first traditional glittering Eurovision party for three years! "Our gang" - the Madam and I, Hils, Crog, Baby Steve, Houseboy Alex, John-John, Sal, Lou, Paul, Russ and Joe - all dutifully "dressed for the occasion" [I nominate countries to guests, based upon John-John's analysis - he watched the semi-finals so we don't have to - one country for costume/flag, one for food and one for booze]:

John-John in particular pulled out all the stops, representing Sweden with his inspired "Regretta Turdberg" [Greta Thunberg], complete with scowl, dummy, squeaky teddy-bear and child-like badge...

We knew from the outset that with the current model of 50-50 jury versus popular phone-in voting, it would be a foregone conclusion that Ukraine would win it (their song, in any other situation, would not have been strong enough to get close):

Kalush Orchestra - Stefania

However, we studiously sat through every song, whooping and hollering (and grumbling and moaning in turn) as the typical mixture of the good, the bad and the ugly performed (allocating marks for each on our scorecards as we went)...

---

Our "scores on the doors"? Here's our Top 5, in ascending order:

5 - a class act with a "Bassey-esque" choon from Lithuania:

Monika Liu - Sentimentai

4 - from France, a rather clever, and catchy, meld of North African-style folk with some techno beats:

Alvan and Ahez - Fulenn

3 - a very jolly bop from the Moldavian entry that bears more than a passing resemblance to an old fave from Ukraine by Verka Serduchka:

Zdob şi Zdub and Advahov Brothers - Trenulețul

2 - had Sam Ryder not been so good, this utterly insane and irresistibly catchy number [Dailymotion video link here in case the YouTube one is restricted] from Norway would definitely have scored top in our house votes:

Subwoolfer - Give That Wolf A Banana

1 - contrary to my original judgement of it, the UK's entry [DM video link here, as above] has been a significant "earworm" for several weeks now - it's the most accomplished song and performer we have had for years:

Sam Ryder - SPACE MAN

Brilliant!

---

Also rather popular was the camp totty from Romania:

WRS - Llámame

Honourable mentions also went to Ukraine (of course), and Spain:

Chanel - SloMo

...this incredible performance from the Australian entry:

Sheldon Riley - Not The Same

...and this slice of madness from Serbia:

Konstrakta - In Corpore Sano

The hosts in Turin Alessandro Cattelan, Laura Pausini and house fave Mika did the usual job of holding things together, while irritating the audience at the same time - although it was fab to see and hear Mika perform a selection of his hits (while balanced precariously on a tiny podium high above the stage). They were often the butt of the UK's regular host Graham Norton's sarcastic jibes, which made it more entertaining than it would otherwise have been, of course.

However, it was the voting results were were waiting for and, well - you can imagine the screaming, shouting and cheering from the palatial ballroom here at Dolores Delargo Towers as juries from country after country awarded the UK high scores.

We even got douze points from Belgium, Georgia, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, France, Azerbaijan - and Ukraine!

I imagine our neighbours thought there was a riot going on - especially when we ended up top of the leader-board!

[click any photo to embiggen]

Of course, this was followed by the long and deliberately-drawn-out roll-call of phone votes (where all the ex-pats usually swing the table from Western European performers to Eastern Europe) - nail-biting in the extreme - and, most amazing of all, "our boy" landed sufficient public support to come second to the Ukrainian avalanche...

Our best performance since 2007 (when Jade Ewen came in 5th place - a contest we actually missed because were were in Spain at the time) - and a "moral victory" in any circumstances!

Same time, same place next year? I think so!