Pop-up people

On Thursday evening, as part of Camden and Islington LGBT History Month, Paul Burston agreed to bring his own particular brand of literary joie-de-vivre to Waterstones bookshop at Islington Green, as we eagerly took our places amongst the Kathy Lettes and Philippa Gregorys for a "Pop-Up Polari" - the peripatetic version of our regular "peerless gay literary salon".

Mr B opened the show with a nod to Gay History Month and the important role gay writers have to play, despite the difficulty of getting their voices heard (published) in this day and age. And thus he handed the baton over to the winner of 2012's "Polari First Book Prize", the lovely DJ (Diane) Connell.



And what a way to start - as Diane read a very funny extract from her soon-to-be-a-movie Julian Corkle is a Filthy Liar, in which the eponymous teenage hero decides that in order to look cool and stylish at a party he would act butch like his sister (throwing a bottle out of the window), and use some sticky mud from the garden as a substitute for hair-gel - with inevitably disastrous consequences! She is such a wonderful storyteller...





Our very own fave "journo-slut" Alex Hopkins, once more resplendent in his trademark stilettos, read a couple of dark extracts from his unpublished semi-autobiography, focusing on his relationship with his father and the way it influenced his future relationships. Utterly absorbing, these snippets into his life left us all wanting more!



But, inevitably, the star of the show was dear VG (Val) Lee - who could read the telephone directory and would still have us in stitches. Explaining that writing erotica did not come naturally to her ("crochet, yes"), she nevertheless entertained us to her one short story in that genre ( A Slice of Melon):

When Kelly said, “Fancy a shag?” Laura replied, “Don’t mind if I do,” which seemed to satisfy Kelly, although Laura wasn’t too happy with her own choice of words.

"Don’t mind if I do" was what Norma Next Door said to offers of tea, cake, Pringles, and Bacardi and Coke. Fortunately Kelly didn’t know Norma Next Door.

Her second piece was from Shush (both stories are in her anthology As You Step Outside), about the hilarious mishaps of going to the cinema with a rather noisy friend.

Paul continued his theme about the obstacles faced by gay writers as we entered the question and answer section of the evening. We were rather impressed that there were quite a few people in attendance (and not all Polari-ites such as me, John-John, little Tony and Emma), and some very interesting discussions arose in the debate - the impact of digital publishing on the power of the traditional publishing houses, the ascendancy of "safe names" in gay publishing such as Sarah Waters and Alan Hollinghurst possibly at the expense of new talent, and whether there is value in bookshops maintaining a specific LGBT section on their shelves.

A very enjoyable evening, as ever, and one we rounded off in a rather splendid old Victorian pub in trendy Camden Passage...

Life, death and everything in-between

John-John, little Tony and I were up and about especially early yesterday (early for a Saturday!), in order to spend an entire day exploring the delights of The Big Gay Lifestyle exhibition - better known by its nickname "The Ideal Homo Show". I went to a couple of these many years ago in the much larger venue of Olympia Exhibition Halls (where I met, among others, the legendary Jeff Stryker!). Now the concept has been revived, and the show is hosted in the rather swanky Connaught Rooms in Covent Garden.



It seems like an unlikely choice for me - having lived a perfectly satisfactory gay lifestyle for many years - and indeed this is the first of the re-vamped events I have been drawn to attend. However among the stalls flogging clothes, properties, sports, art, photography, beauty products, nick-nacks, fertility advice or health checks for trans-women, there were a number of acts on stage this year that we all wanted to see.



The first of these was the very lovely Rose Collis, Edinburgh and Brighton Fringe performer and historian - who we enjoyed at Polari in May 2011 and again in April 2012 - with her banjolele 'Bud'. She was on top form again, regaling us with tales of the lesbian journalist and TV presenter Nancy Spain and her dalliances with Lena Horne and Marlene Dietrich, and songs such as The Boys in the Backroom and Masculine Women, Feminine Men, all from her successful one-woman show Trouser-Wearing Characters.

We caught up with Miss Collis after her slot, and she informed us she is taking the show not only around the UK, but also to New Zealand and Sydney Mardi-Gras! Have banjolele, will travel, it seems...

Rose Collis - Trouser Wearing Characters (Brighton Fringe 2012)

I hope to catch the whole show sometime soon...



An unexpected joy were the ebullient Pink Singers, who gathered quite a crowd quite early on on the proceedings with their synchronised dancing as they harmonised on a variety of classics, including Brecht, African traditional music, Richard Genee's Italian Salad - and this one, Mas Que Nada:

Pink Singers (Gay Lifestyles 2012)

[This is my recording - shame about the bloody kids playing with balloons next to the stage!]



One of our absolute favourite cabaret entertainers is Mr Marcus Reeves, the genius behind Postcards from God - the Sister Wendy Musical, stalwart of many a season at The Royal Vauxhall Tavern and Polari too - here, here and here.



He really grabbed the audience's attention with his silver glitter maquillage and melodramatic selection of songs from his forthcoming album Quicksilver - The Masquerade Macabre, including this one - the magnificent Mad, Bad World:

Marcus Reeves - Mad Bad World

I really cannot wait for the album!





After a little interlude, it was time for an selection of our favourite literary types to take the stage - with a "pop-up version" of "London's peerless gay literary salon", Polari! Introduced by the faboo Paul Burston, first to the mike was our chum the stiletto-wearing journo-slut Alex Hopkins, who entertained us to a couple of salacious episodes from what we came to the conclusion (later, over drinks) should be deemed his "Sauna Chronicles" - close encounters of the bodily fluids kind, in the glamorous surroundings of Pleasuredrome sauna under the railway arches at Waterloo. Fab stuff!



Next to the stand was the adorable DJ Connell, who read a passage from her masterwork Julian Corkle is a Filthy Liar, recounting the early sexual awakening of the eponymous character as a young lad in, of all places, the medical dictionary section of the local library. It's a hilarious tale - and a highly-recommended read!



Literature's answer to Robbie Williams, the handsome Mr Kristian Johns (aka the blogger "Guy Interrupted" and AIDS-awareness campaign poster boy) read next from his fascinating fable Dying, And Other Superpowers. Recently filmed and featured in the London Gay Film Festival, it's an intense tale of the balance between a boy's burgeoning telekinetic abilities and his HIV diagnosis, and gripped our attention from the outset. Here's a trailer for the film short:

Dying, and other Superpowers

Mr Johns' and Mr Hopkins' writings are featured in the anthology Boys & Girls, edited by Mr Burston.



To conclude our little dose of cerebral stimulation, the fantabulosa VG (Val) Lee - nominated for "Writer of the Year" in the Stonewall Awards 2012 (which I will be attending again) - read from her acclaimed Always You, Edina. Her extract, about the recollections of a grandmother to her granddaughter about the mysterious relationship between the girl's father and her "glamorous, charismatic Aunt Ed, who could light up a room - if there was a man in that room", was in turn touching, humorous and enchanting. As ever, we love Val's writing - and so did the audience.



Finally, from the sublime to the semi-ridiculous, we watched a fun and boisterous preview of the panto Snow White and the Seven Poofs (which we saw in 2011, and returns this season in a new venue The Green Carnation), with the camp-as-tits Mrs Moore and Tanya Hyde!



After that, it was time for a bit more of a wander around the exhibition space - a short wander, obviously, as the bar beckoned! We spent some time mingling and chatting with the Polari-ites, with Marcus, with Tony's friend Roland, and then "our Paul" arrived and we met up with some of his friends too. A proper gay family gathering!

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However, there was a more serious event taking place yesterday, that I also had to attend - the annual "No to Hate Crime" vigil in Trafalgar Square, so it was time to move on. John-John, Paul and Tony all had pre-booked events to go to so couldn't stay long at Halfway to Heaven (our "local"; it is very close to the square) nor make the vigil.

Organised by a group called 17-24-30 (the name represents the dates in 1999 that the three London nail bombs were planted: 17th April - Brixton Market; 24th April – Brick Lane; and 30th April - the Admiral Duncan, Soho) and MC-ed by Mr Marcus Reeves (again, but without the make-up), this event is (obviously) a solemn affair, with speakers representing the communities affected by hate crime, messages of support from politicians and religious groups (except, notably this year, anyone from any Islamic organisation), and music from the LGBT brass band.



It was - shockingly - sparsely attended, again. Once again I am ashamed - as I was last year and the year before - at the ignorance and apathy of our fellow gay people. Yes, it pissed down. Yes, we were drenched, our feet were cold and our bladders were full. But I, Alex Hopkins, Russ, Joe and a few hundred others persisted through it, stood in silence for two minutes at 8pm, and listened in quiet horror at the roll-call of names of the victims of mindless hatred, murdered merely for being who they were.

A sombre conclusion to a day of celebration of gayness, admittedly, but a vital show of support nonetheless...

Three Tims, badger duvets, Italian Mammas and provincial lesbian drama

Another gay day, another Polari!

In the last of the season's "peerless gay literary salons" (Paul takes a break in August), we were filled with anticipation of the announcement of the long-list of entrants for the Polari First Book Prize, and no less than three authors all called "Tim".

Paul Burston, last night representing "The Gay Mafia" in his dapper suit, was a little flushed at trying to organise disappearing speakers and shmooze his fantabulosa audience (including the lovely and ever-so-eccentric Miss Helen Lederer, who joined John-John and I at our table), but eventually all seemed to go to plan...





The first of the Tims, opening the show, was (the rather cute) Mr Brady, reading from his novel Big Ben. In the four extracts he read, our eponymous hero goes from ostensibly straight Italian newcomer to London, through embarrassing "outing" by a horny ex-girlfriend who catches him in bed with a Brazilian, to the rather hilarious attempt to keep meddling Mamma apart from said shag (with no success, unfortunately for him). Very enjoyable indeed! Mr Brady missed the deadline for the prize this year, but hopes his novel will go forward for the 2012 one.



Our second Tim, Mr Graves, told a far darker and spookier tale, Bright Fire of Morning all about an obsessive sexual encounter between a lad and what might have been a sexy demon, or ghost, or..? Sublimely told, you could hear a pin drop across the whole room as the slightly creepy story unfolded...



From the sinister to the cynical, the fabulously entertaining William Parker read us the tale of an archetypal grumpy old man - an elderly gent from very posh surroundings who has found himself in the awfulness of a nursing home, with its dementia sufferers, zimmer frames, duvets (which move around like “a demented badger”, unlike familiar blankets) and dreadful food. Mr Parker's short story features in the forthcoming sequel to last year's gay anthology Boys & Girls, called (naturally) Men & Women (also edited by Paul Burston, it launches on 14 July) - totally enthralling stuff!



After the break, our perennial Polari favourite the lovely V.G. (Val) Lee had us in stitches with her wonderfully witty tale of Lucky Patricia (also included in Men & Women): our heroine's found herself a new sophisticated girlfriend, and it has rather shaken up the cosy lesbian social circle in rural Hastings! As always, Val proved to be a true star, and a brilliant entertainer...



Next up, our third Tim, this time Mr Arthur (son of Playschool host Toni Arthur, no less), who - as he admitted - was sorry to lower the tone somewhat with his grim tale of one backwoods American woman's sordid revenge on her abusive husband. Involving a cage in the basement and some humiliating sexual favours, this is just one of a series of tales in his book The Blind Dog Gospels, all told from the warped imagination of an individual dying of cancer of the optic nerve. Thankfully, Mr Arthur was a very jolly reader, which lightened the piece somewhat!

Paul and "partner in crime" Rachel Holmes, Head of Literature and Spoken Word at the Southbank Centre, announced the Polari First Book Prize long list:

• Julian Corkle Is A Filthy Liar – DJ Connell
• Same Again Please - Michael B Jones
• London Triptych – Jonathan Kemp
• The Bird Keeper – Issy Festing
• Love, Hope and High Heels – Clare Campbell
• I Don’t Remember You – Stephanie Lennox
• Children of the Sun – Max Schaefer
• Autofellatio – James Maker
• Homo Jihad – Timothy Graves
• C’est La Vie – Bruce Hodson

Our final turn of the evening was the lovely lady lesbian DJ Connell, reading first from her prize-nominated Julian Corkle Is A Filthy Liar (which we first encountered at Polari back last November, alongside Mr Parker); the hilarious story of the campest little queen growing up in the most stifling of backgrounds in 1970s Tasmania). She also gave us a teaser of her new novel Sherry Cracker Gets Normal, which launches next week.



Another absolute corker of an evening! I will miss Polari next month...

Bookworm...

Internet has been down at home for two days, MySpazz has gone over to the dark side, but as predicted this is turning out to be a great literary week!



On Monday Madame Acarti, Paul, Jim and I settled ourselves in the "Royal Box" (front table) at Polari (back in the prime surroundings of St Paul's Pavilion where it belongs), to help celebrate the third birthday of "London's peerless gay literary salon". It seems like only yesterday that we first stepped across the hallowed threshold of the (late, dearly departed) Trash Palace in Wardour Street to be educated, entertained and indeed aurally assaulted by the magnificent (and also dearly departed, RIP) Sebastian Horsley!

As Paul Burston - in celebratory mood, understandably - mused, no-one involved in its launch back in The Green Carnation Bar in Frith Street would ever have believed that three years later we would be in such a prominent and prestigious venue as the Royal Festival Hall.

The evening's proceedings opened with fresh faced new author Ryan Child with his stunning and quite scary tale of a rabid queer-basher who falls for the boyfriend of one of his gang's victims. If Mr Child hadn't been so goddam sexy, we might have been a bit depressed at the gritty reality of his words. But he was mesmerising...



Lightening the mood somewhat, Justin Ward "strummed my life with his words" as he regaled with minute detail the excruciating tale of a small-town gay boy trapped in a world of ghastly family parties in social clubs, leery women and drunken oiks - superbly written and hilarious, but very very familiar... Read another of his short stories about dysfunctional families.

Our next reader William Parker was actually born in Newport (the small town that provided me with so many of those familiar scenarios Mr Ward described), but was brought up away from all that - with his booming actor's voice it was obvious he was one of the lucky ones. His story opened (hilariously) with the main character Ben falling drunkenly head-first down the stairs outside Charing Cross station, and revelled in the recollections of the bewildered childhood that had led him to that point - excellently read, excellently written. We loved it! Read more at http://william-parker.com/

Jonathan Kemp is one of the recently announced contenders short-listed for the brand new Green Carnation Prize for gay literature. His novel London Triptych flick-flaks between the lives of male prostitutes in three different eras - Oscar Wilde's turn-of-the-century, 50s post-war, and modern London - and with a couple of explicit extracts (each told from the rent boys' point of view), he had the audience gripped! A strong contender for the prize, I'd say (although my vote is for the fellow shortlisted Rupert Smith's Man's World).

Almost the climax(!) of the evening was the Kiwi author(ess) DJ Connell, whose debut novel Julian Corkle Is a Filthy Liar has variously been reviewed as "a Tasmanian Adrian Mole" and "one of the funniest rites of passage novels in a long time". From the extracts she read it certainly seems a very funny tale indeed, as the exceptionally camp Julian relates his adventures growing up in the uber-macho rural backwoods of Taz...

To round the night off with suitably big bang, our darling Celine had made an extra special effort to be there, and had brought along a very special friend to say a few words of congratulation on the anniversary - the Latino firebrand Mr Coati Mundi (of Kid Creole & the Coconuts and Dr Buzzard's Original Savannah Band fame)!



After Celine had entertained the punters with a selection of her rollicking rhythmic performance poems (during one of which she entwined herself rather firmly around Jim, seated as he was almost on the stage!), it was time for Paul to make his big announcement - the launch of The Polari Prize. Strictly limited to new works rather than previously published authors, the prize is open to a first book which explores the queer experience and is open to any work published in the UK in English within the twelve months leading up to the submission date (poetry or prose, fiction or non-fiction). So start thinking about your nominations now!

After the glitter had settled on the evening's proceedings Madame Arcati, Paul, Celine, Mr Mundi and I trolled off for a swifty at the Retro Bar before dispersing - such good company to finish off a magnificent evening!

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Continuing the literary theme, last night I went along to Islington Central Library for Homosexuality in literature: sodomy & censorship with Neil McKenna, author of The Secret Life of Oscar Wilde.

This, too, was a fantabulosa (if much less well-attended) event, as the theatrical Mr McKenna took us through a lively selection of examples of where gay lifestyles have been censored, edited, legislated against or erased from the pages of novels, poetry, history books, biographies and the theatrical stage. From early Renaissance comedies, through the Earl of Rochester's play Sodom, to Victorian transvestite rent boys "Fanny" and "Stella", Oscar Wilde, Radcliffe Hall's The Well of Loneliness, Stephen Spender's war poetry to the control that the Lord Chancellor held over the theatre even in the era of Joe Orton, he covered them all...

Whew! It was great, and I want to read (and learn) more. Mr McKenna's historical work about those Victorian trannies, and their scandalous trial, will be published in the new year, and I can't wait to read it. Read more about Neil.

Tonight we are eschewing literature (the book readings by Rupert Smith, Christopher Fowler et al at "Gay's the Word" bookshop) in favour of a rare showing of Terrence McNally's marvellous film The Ritz at the BFI - but this week has definitely been one for books.

I am currently reading Mr Fowler's Paperboy for my LGBT reading group, I recently completed the fourth of Paul Magrs' "Brenda & Effie" books Hell's Belles, and I have decided that as times is 'ard, everyone this Xmas will be getting books from charity shops (which is just another excuse to rifle through the shelves of every "Save The Children", "Oxfam" or "Macmillan Cancer Care" shop from Enfield to Kingston!).

The love of learning, the sequestered nooks,
And all the sweet serenity of books.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow