Seeking rather than vengeance, retribution

For once, I am not shouting "we wuz robbed" after the results of the Eurovision Song Contest last night.

Unlike previous years, our gang had made very little connection with the UK's entrant Molly Smitten-Downes or her forgettable "anthem" Children of the Universe. In truth she, and it, had little charisma, and instead - unanimously - all twelve of us were rooting for the lovely Conchita Wurst and her sub-James-Bond-theme Rise Like A Phoenix.

And our girl won it! The cheering here at Dolores Delargo Towers was deafening, needless to say.



Every year we always do the full shebang - dressing up (Hils was our own "bearded lady"; Sally was our Agnetha), booze and food from countries across Eurovisionland, and fill in our scorecards (in between excessive bouts of drinking, of course).



And here are the Top 5 from our jury:

Austria
Greece
Germany
Italy
United Kingdom

Compared to the real final five:

Austria
Netherlands
Sweden
Armenia
Hungary

There were some real differences (apart from Conchita). Nobody liked the Dutch one (a direct rip-off of Every Step You Take by The Police); The Swedish entry was OK, but just not good enough for us; Armenia was a Celine Dion song in the making (and no-one likes her!); and everyone absolutely despised the Hungarian child-abuse song.

There were, inevitably, a clutch of bizarre and bewildering songs and performances (it just wouldn't be Eurovsion without them!), including the French song about growing a moustache (which came last), a man on a hamster wheel, a trapeze artist, some hunky boys on a trampoline and (from Poland) several large-breasted young "ladies" jiggling over milk churns - in an effort to detract attention from the execrable mess of a song, no doubt. Russia was booed at every opportunity (which was unfortunate for the plucky 17-year-old twins who had to represent that benighted regime); Graham Norton made bitchy comments (on San Marino: "The population is 31,000. Obviously they've clubbed together to buy her a pair of ruche curtains"); Belarus gave douze points to Russia, Moldova gave twelve to Romania, and Georgia twelve to Armenia. Business as usual...



As all such events at ours inevitably do, the melée went on - messily - into the wee small hours. I finally bagged and binned all the empty bottles, abandoned glasses and munched morsels and got to bed at 4.30am, not rising again (like a phoenix) till 2 this afternoon(!).



It was a marvellous party, indeed.

And here's our Conchita!

Conchita Wurst - Rise Like A Phoenix

Waking in the rubble
Walking over glass
Neighbours say we’re trouble
Well that time has passed

Peering from the mirror
No, that isn’t me
Stranger getting nearer
Who can this person be

You wouldn’t know me at all today
From the fading light I fly

Rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn
You know I will rise like a phoenix
But you’re my flame

Go about your business
Act as if you’re free
No one could have witnessed
What you did to me

Cause you wouldn’t know me today
And you have got to see
To believe
From the fading light I fly

Rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn

I rise up to the sky
You threw me down but
I’m gonna fly

And rise like a phoenix
Out of the ashes
Seeking rather than vengeance
Retribution
You were warned
Once I’m transformed
Once I’m reborn
You know I will rise like a phoenix
But you’re my flame

Post-Eurovison analysis sarcasm courtesy of Euan Ferguson in The Guardian.

Step four: Larger than life is just the right size*

Once again - even with Monday's Bank Holiday - this week has dragged. But we're almost there. Salvation is just around the corner...

It's the eve of the "Gay World Cup" aka the Eurovision Song Contest (yay!), and this evening I will be transforming Dolores Delargo Towers (a la To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar) into even more of a glitter-and-tinsel extravaganza than usual - in preparation for the Party Of The Year tomorrow night.

[We will, of course - cough, cough! - be cheering for the UK entry Molly and her - ahem - fabulous Children of the Universe, and not, of course, for Conchita Wurst. At all.]

To mark the start of the celebrations, here's the unsuccessful attempt to get nominated (at Melodifestivalen 2014) for this year's Swedish entry (typically, a cod-"power-ballad" was chosen instead) by the camp-tastic Alcazar:

Alcazar - Blame it on the Disco

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a particularly sparkly weekend, dears...

[* If you didn't get the reference - and if not, shame on you - it's a quote from the aforementioned "To Wong Foo".]

Eurovision - a "Hotbed of Sodomy"

From Pink News:

Petitions calling for the removal of Austria’s Eurovision entry have received thousands of signatures.

Drag artist Conchita Wurst, real name Tom Neuwirth, is set to represent Austria in two weeks’ time, with ballad Rise Like a Phoenix.

However, petitions launched in Ukraine, Russia and Belarus, all of whom enter the contest, are calling for the entry to be disqualified, or edited out of the broadcast in their country.

According to Reuters, the Russian petition calls on state broadcaster to refuse to air the contest.

It reads: “Austria will be represented in the Eurovision 2014 by the transvestite contestant Conchita Wurst who leads the lifestyle inapplicable for the Russians.

“The popular international competition that our children will be watching has become a hotbed of sodomy at the initiation of the European liberals.

“Russia is one of the only European countries that has managed to maintain normal and healthy family values based on love and mutual support between MEN and WOMEN.

“That is why we are against the Eurovision 2014 to be broadcast in Russia.”

Wurst will perform in the second semi-final, to be held on 8th May.

If successful, she will advance to the grand final on 10th May.

I hope she wins!

Watch the video for Rise Like a Phoenix below:

Conchita Wurst - Rise Like a Phoenix

Eurovision Song Contest 2014

Why'd you wanna break my heart, babe?

Oh dear.

The UK "taste moguls" have spoken. Miss Molly Smitten-Downes ("Whoooooo?!") will represent us in the UK with her dirge "modern anthem" Children of the Universe.

I really do not like it one little bit, but hey ho, who cares about the real Eurovision fans in these days of X-Factor, No Talent and all the other "lets-get-the-audience-whooping-like-gibbons-over-a-crap power-ballad" TV shows that have ruined our music industry?

What ever happened to the fun? Like this:

Belle and the Devotions - Love Games

Belle and the Devotions

Read more about our 2014 Eurovision entry on the BBC.