Welcome to the Diva's tea party again

A host of fellow former "Blitz Kids" (including Pinkietessa) were there, as was Polari regular Simon (without Bryanne), the "Whos" were out in force - former DJ at (our log-gone gay haunt) BarCode, writer and scandalous bon vivant Stewart Who and his sister - and the place was packed with friends, fans, arty types, and the generally bemused...

...it could only be a show by the very lovely Eve Ferret [once described in a review as “A gutsy old bird with knockers like two ostrich eggs in a hammock!”], couldn't it?!

And so it was that Paul, John-John and I ventured to territories new, the Sanctum Soho Hotel (a venue famous for styling itself as "rock star chic") on Thursday - for what Eve billed as her "Fabaret" show "The Hungry Whelk"! As ever, Miss Ferret did not disappoint...

A marked change from her large-scale Arts Theatre shows (we've been to see four - see here, here, here and here), Eve nonetheless managed to cram in all of her more (ahem) interactive turns into this rather more intimate cabaret space - including the throwing of mangetout into the audience and her now-famous "crowd-surf" (by proxy of a doll, of course) - as well as treating us to a customarily bizarre mixture of musical numbers, everything from Little Donkey (well, 'tis the season) to This Town Ain’t Big Enough For Both Of Us to a selection of vulgar reggae numbers to her own pithy Congratulations, You Got Me.

All our faves were there - including the Peignoir Song, Last Night's Paté and Divas' Tea Party - and much, much, more. We adored it. The audience gave her rapturous applause. Once again, Eve Ferret proved herself to be one of the most entertaining cabaret artistes on the circuit - there really is no-one else like her!

Here is the lady herself with one of her more autobiographical numbers - Pimlico Belle

Eve Ferret - Pimlico Belle

Eve Ferret official website

All about Eve (and Andy!)

Peter York, Sue Tilley, Rusty Egan, Andrew Logan - more often than not such names, either alone or in combination, are the sort that crop up in some nostalgic Sunday supplement piece about "Shapers of the 80s". Yet there they all were in their finery in Soho's Arts Theatre, in 2014 (on Monday, actually) - assembled to pay homage to the doyenne of madcap camp cabaret and peignoir glamour, Miss Eve Ferret!

As my regular reader will no doubt be aware, Miss Ferret (solo, and in her original incarnation as part of "Biddie and Eve", in-house cabaret artistes at Steve Strange's seminal "Blitz" club) is a house favourite (and budding Patron Saint) here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Monday's show was the fourth time I had been to see her on stage...

Last year, the occasions were ably assisted by Celia Imrie/Fidelis Morgan, and by Adele Anderson/Hazel O'Connor.



This time, however (and Eve could hardly contain her excitement; nor could we), it was the turn of the ever-lovely Andy Bell (of Erasure) to occupy the guest slot! A fantastic choice for the launch night of Eve's first CD, Doolally (and for her forthcoming "Don't Be So Shellfish" tour). And a brilliant (and hilarious) show it was, too.

Miss Ferret - eclectic as ever - treated us to a whole raft of her own songs from the album, including favourites such as Diva's Tea Party, Handbag Girl and (I am the) Diva and previously unheard ones such as Twisted Sense of Glamour and (the rather wonderful) Cheers My Dears, alongside a clutch of bizarre oddities including This Town Ain't Big Enough for the Both of Us (Sparks), a medley of reggae songs with filthy lyrics (Push it In, Wet Dream and the like), Scars (Fran Landesman), The Model (Kraftwerk), Rapper's Delight (Sugarhill Gang) and of course her grand finale number Crazy Horses (The Osmonds)!



Here she is in a rather well-compiled video from her previous season of shows. It's Jezebel!

Eve Ferret with Roddy Matthews - Jezebel

Andy Bell - even without Vince and with just a backing tape - still retains the ability to send shivers down the spine with his magnificently powerful voice.



His own solo numbers were simply superb - including his hit Electric Blue, a rousing sing-along version of Erasure's classic Respect, and this this, his new single with maestro DJ Dave Aude:

Dave Aude feat. Andy Bell - Aftermath - Here We Go

But the best moment - the very best - was when Andy and Eve (once she'd stopped twirling her wand behind him) took to the mikes together, to perform a wonderful duet on the Gershwins' finest torch song The Man I Love. The audience (for a moment anyhow) was completely hushed...

Eve Ferret deserves to be far more widely recognised. She is one of the warmest, funniest and most creative cabaret artistes (and indeed singers) I have had the pleasure of going to see - two hours just flew by!

As the lady herself said in a recent interview: “I like to think when I’m performing we’re all in the party together and I’m just at the helm.”

Aye, aye, Cap'n!

Facts about Eve:

• Her uncle Pierre “Baro” Ferret played gypsy jazz with Django Reinhardt in the Hot Club de France.
• She appeared in Absolute Beginners alongside David Bowie, and was also in the great man's Jazzin' For Blue Jean video.
• Among the players in Biddie and Eve's band at The Blitz (apart from Roddy Matthews, who patiently accompanies Eve to this day) were Rowland Rivron, jazz pianist Simon Wallace and (latterly opera director) Richard Jones.
• The duo were the support act for a number of New Romantic and Goth bands in the 80s, including Theatre of Hate, Blancmange and Duran Duran.

Eve Ferret website

Andy Bell website

The Arts Theatre

More fabulous Ferreting

"They were looking for singers in the style of George Formby or Vera Lynn. I was a bit more like George."

We know a good night out when we find one here at Dolores Delargo Towers. And so it came to pass, a mere week after laughing our tits off at last week's Ferret Up The Arts show (with the eponymous Eve Ferret and her guests Celia Imrie, Fidelis Morgan and Mzz Kimberley) that Paul and I (and little Tony and Wayne) trolled into town again for another helping!

We adore Eve. She is our favourite "Blitz Kid". (And there was a smattering of true originals from that heady early-80s era again in evidence in the audience)

Once more we hooted at Miss Ferret's hilarious self-deprecation and patter, her pride in her peignoir, and the carefully-nurtured chaos that is her brilliant cabaret - everything from Crazy Horses and This Town Ain’t Big Enough for Both of Us to the catchiest-of-catchy "signature tunes" I Am The Diva and Diva's Tea Party, with Billie Holiday-esque vocals here and a bit of Piaf there for good measure...

Her guests this time around were again typically eclectic - and first up was the (very nervous) Vauxhall Tavern stalwart, Mr Alp Haydar. A singularly sexy man, he has a lovely singing voice, and Miss Ferret evidently adores him (even though he appeared somewhat out of his depth in the spotlight glare of a West End audience).



Speaking of adored... Our second guest Miss Adele Anderson has a very special place in our hearts indeed. Candid these days about her transition from the boy Eve knew decades ago to being a long-serving member of our favourite all-girl cabaret group Fascinating Aïda, Ms Anderson specialises in singing the kind of subtly acerbic torch songs we love, such as these:

Adèle Anderson - Pigalle

Adèle Anderson - My Voice

Adèle Anderson - Why Try to Change Me Now?

Having captivated the audience with her divine presence, Adele was rejoined by Eve and the two ladies did a killer version of Eartha Kitt's I Want To Be Evil, which was utterly brilliant. Once we reached the break, we were buzzing (as was everyone else outside having a fag). But lawks-a-mercy, there was a magnificent treat in store in part two...

For alongside Eve's own miscellany of musical delights, she proudly introduced the last of her trinity of talents to the stage - none other than the legendary Miss Hazel O'Connor!

Miss O'Connor, together with such post-punk-popstrels as Toyah, Adam Ant, Lene Lovich and others of that ilk, experienced a meteoric rise to chart stardom in the early 80s (at around the same time that Biddie and Eve were witnessing the parallel ascendancy of the electro-tinged New Romantics) but unlike such survivors as Siouxsie or Nina Hagen, her time at the top was relatively short-lived. Nevertheless, her unique brand of impassioned theatricality has left a lasting influence on all our lives (we who were there at the time, that is), and I genuinely never, ever thought I would get to see her live.



Her voice - never hugely powerful even in her heyday - has obviously mellowed a lot nowadays, but she has cleverly adapted her smoky register to a more jazzy, bluesy sound (almost in the manner of the Goddess Marianne Faithfull), and her rendition of God Bless The Child was sublime.

But it was when she sang her absolute classic Will You that the shivers really travelled up and down my spine (even when Miss Ferret appeared at the back of the stage "artistically" twirling her fluorescent streamer!). One of the most poignant ballads of its age - if not of all time - I was immediately transported back to an era when (as now) I could mouth every single word and nuance, and it was all so incredibly meaningful...

Hazel O'Connor - Will You

You drink your coffee,
I sip my tea,
And we're sitting here, playing so cool,
Thinking, 'What will be, will be.'

And it's getting kind of late now,
Oh, I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?

I move a little closer to you,
Not knowing quite what to do and I'm
Feeling all fingers and thumbs,
I spill my tea, oh silly me.

It's getting kind of late now,
I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?

And then we touch, much too much,
This moment has been waiting for a long, long time,
Makes me shiver,
Makes me quiver,
This moment I am so unsure,
This moment I have waited for,
Well is it something you've been waiting for,
Waiting for too?

Take off your eyes,
Bare your soul,
Gather me to you and make me whole,
Tell me your secrets,
Sing me the song,
Sing it to me in the silent tongue.

It's getting kind of late now,
I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?

One of my favourite songs, ever. As it appeared to be for most of the audience, as the great lady had people on their feet cheering as she left the stage, and left Eve to carry on the show - gin shots, flying mangetout, hobby horses, drums, nylon frou-frou and all...



An unmissable experience! We thanked Miss F for her magnificence, and chatted briefly with Ms A and Mr H after the show. Unfortunately Miss O'C had left the building, leaving only pre-signed CDs in her wake. Which was a shame. We wanted just to bathe in the hallowed glow of such an icon.

Remarkable.

The amazing bouncing Ferret

Described succinctly by one reviewer as "poet, philosopher, peignoir model, puppeteer and trainee crowd surfer", Miss Eve Ferret is a firm favourite here at Dolores Delargo Towers. And her new show A Ferret Up The Arts (that Paul and I went to see last night) is fucking hilarious, to boot!

From her riotous opening number complete with marching drum, through her trademark meandering repartee of anecdotes and jokes (often at the expense of her long-suffering guitar accompanist Roddy Matthews), through her paean to the aforementioned peignoir (a long frilled nylon nightie - "closed, it's Rita Hayworth, open, it's Elsie Tanner!") to her seemingly endless supply of props (at one point, singing in French, she peppered us with mangetout, the next, fake money) not to mention her crowd-surfing Ferret doll, she was unstoppable.

The divine Miss F is not just a clever knock-about performer however, she can actually sing - and beautifully - when she wants to. She has been compared to both Barbara Dickson and Diana Krall in the past, and when she gets her teeth into a number her voice has the power to send chills down the spine.

She certainly had the audience in rapt awe at her version of Scars (a song written by Fran Landesman, whose Ballad of the Sad Young Men is a gay classic). Over the course of the evening she tried her hand at just about everything from Rappers' Delight to the blues, singing a blend of covers and her own material - Handbag Girl was a particular joy - and at every musical turn we were thrilled.



Of course the biggest thrill of all was Miss Ferret's promised "messing about with my chums" bit, as she introduced the first of her special guests, the extraordinarily talented Mzz Kimberley - an American drag queen with a magnificently powerful soul diva voice, who did a stunning version of Bridge Over Troubled Water as a gospel number, and transformed Peggy Lee's classic I'm A Woman into I'm A Tranny in a duet with Eve. Stunning.

But, of course, it was the appearance of that remarkable double-act, the lovely Fidelis Morgan and "national treasure" Celia Imrie - who entertained us so magnificently at Polari in April this year - which really set the place alight! They opened with a suitably autumnal song'n'dance number, during which the pair were pelted with fallen leaves - and soft toys and anything else that came to hand - by Miss Ferret, and then returned to delight us with a three-way version of Noel Coward's Mad About The Boy, with Fidelis playing the posh masculine type, Eve the Cockney housekeeper, and Celia the infatuated schoolgirl. It was a work of genius, and we adored it!

Eve Ferrett is an incomparable entertainer. There really is no-one else like her. This show was so hysterically funny at times, both Paul and I had tears streaming down our faces and were doubled up with laughter! I am so very pleased we went - it cheered me up immensely.

So overjoyed were we that we are booking for the second of her two shows. Next Monday (11th November), Eve's special guests are none other than Miss Adele Anderson (of Fascinating Aida fame) and the 80s pop legend Hazel O'Connor!

I can't wait.

A Ferret Up The Arts is at the Arts Theatre, Covent Garden.

Sexy redheads, Restoration grimacing, Viv Stanishall's sausages and a Ferret

It was the first Polari of 2012 on Thursday, and yet again our host (and sometime semi-nude photographic poseur) Mr Paul Burston pulled out all the stops to give us a wonderful evening of literary high camp!

Arriving on stage fully clothed (and sickeningly tanned) with a tack-o-rama souvenir brolly from his recent holiday in Brazil with hubby Paulo, we knew it wouldn't be long before he could no longer resist the temptation to strip for our star-studded audience. However, there was another "peerless gay literary salon" to introduce first...



Our opening speaker was the lovely Anthony McDonald, author of the books Adam and Blue Sky Adam (extracts from which he read for us at Polari back in June 2009). His new book emerged out of a real-life obsession with a redhead stranger on a train, and the passage he read involved the burgeoning relationship between such strangers - the older (slightly autobiographical) Oliver and the younger, ostensibly straight Orlando - and their adventures in Malaga. It seems like a great story! Getting Orlando is available from BigFib books.



The ebullient Mr Rikki Beadle-Blair is a true drama queen - the man responsible for Stonewall - The Musical (which we went to see at the Pleasance Theatre back in 2007), the TV series Metrosexuality and numerous theatrical productions, in many of which he starred as well as produced. As well as having a long history in drama and gay activism, he is also an avid poster of "Things I Learned Today" on Facebook, which apparently have become so popular he has collected them all into a "self-help" book of the same name. It was this he decided to focus his reading on - and encouraged a lively and interesting audience debate session in the process! I found it fascinating (if a little reminiscent of Sigourney Weaver's cameo role in Jeffrey).



"Pox, say I, upon the insolent crackfarts, the impudent numps, the tawdry morts!" These are just some of the shocking expletives that our next reader the actress and author Fidelis Morgan uses - regularly by all accounts. An expert in the wild, weird and wacky world of the 60s - the 1760s, that is! - Miss Morgan is a fantastic and mesmerising reader and performer. In her scarlet velvet jacket and pearls, she gave us an extract from her "Countess Ashby de la Zouche" period crime novels involving the purchase of a dildo, and an insight into attitudes to homosexuality and sex two hundred and fifty years ago - and not content with all that she dragged some willing victims out of the audience for a Restoration-era lesson in acting expressions as well...

"I have three passions: larger-than-life people, structure and smut. It was therefore inevitable that I would write whodunits set in Restoration London. Everything is waiting there for me: actresses, stalkers, prostitutes, street hoodlums, footpads, extortionists, rapists and, inevitably, murderers. A quick glimpse through the 1690s Accounts of the London Sessions or the Newgate Calendar is not unlike spending a Sunday with the red tops. Human desires and foibles roll on without ever really changing. I have found neighbours squabbling about noise or smells from next door, wife-beaters, husband-beaters, drunks, peers who think themselves above the law, fraudsters, child molesters, child thieves and children who murdered.

Marvellous stuff! Download an extract of her Unnatural Fire [pdf].



It is very difficult to follow an act like that, but Miss Rosie Wilby certainly leapt to the stage with aplomb! From her roots as a singer with a band back in the 90s, Miss W has developed her career into journalism and latterly stand-up comedy. Recently she has combined all three into a new show based upon her Pop Diaries from the dearly-departed Melody Maker. Here are a couple of samples of the lady's superb talents...

Rosie Wilby stand-up showreel

Rosie Wilby live

Rounding off the evening, his clothes having unsurprisingly fallen off by this stage, Mr B introduced Polari First Book Prize winner Mr James Maker, who treated us to some of his often hilarious reminisces from his memoir Autofellatio. On this occasion he entertained us with the often bizarre experience of filming Middleton's Changeling alongside an array of eccentric characters including Billy Connolly, Ian Dury, John Cooper-Clarke and Viv Stanishall (who appeared in the kitchen in the middle of the night to announce to the startled young Mr Maker "The Cumberland sausages are mine!" before disappearing again). Read in James' typically droll "throwaway" style, the experience seemed all the more amazing...



And so it was unfortunate that another great evening's entertainment had to close - just sufficient time for me to get a photograph taken with two of my favourite entertainers, Miss Adele Anderson (who we saw only recently on stage with her group Fascinating Aida) and Miss Eve Ferret (whose one-woman show we saw in June last year), who I had been raving about meeting all evening!



Utterly charming and delightful company they were, too.

J'adore Polari! Our next is on 6th February, and Tiffany Murray and Faarea Masud are already announced - but I have no doubt there will be much much more.

Polari is at the Southbank Centre

Adorable Ferret

Miss Eve Ferret is a survivor from a different era - and an "adorable" entertainer (as Madam Arcati kept saying after we went to see her on stage at the Arts Theatre in Soho last night)!

Formerly one half of the house cabaret act Biddie and Eve at the legendary and formative New Romantic club The Blitz, Miss Ferret's penchant for multiple-layered clothing and big hair, feathers, fouff and faff influenced many of the outrageous costumes of the erstwhile punters at that venue. Punters at the time included Siouxsie Sioux, Haysi Fantayzee, Isabella Blow, Stephen Jones, Spandau Ballet, members of Hot Gossip, Toyah, Gilbert and George, Pete Burns, Marilyn, Princess Julia, Philip Sallon and Martin Degville. Steve Strange and Rusty Egan ruled the roost; Mario Testino was behind the bar; Boy George was the hat-check girl...



And there we were, in the second row of the Arts Theatre, about to see this fabled creature in "a show full of chaos and nostalgia... and her own bar!". She certainly does know exactly how to get an audience enraptured - anyone who opens a show by playing castanets in her bra, manages to segue between Rawhide! and Rapper's Delight, and can mash-up Mule Train with Milkshake has my vote anyway!

Her (very rude) ad-libs, interplay with the Bette and Joan set upon which she was performing, her props (feather head-dresses, toy poodle, whip and hobby-horse among them), knowing asides to the audience, and of course the occasional slug of gin from the on-stage mini-bar had the audience splitting their sides with laughter! No challenge was beyond her - she sang the most bizarre range of songs, including Ten Cents A Dance, the Osmonds' Crazy Horses, Billie Holiday's Good Morning Heartache, Peggy Lee's I'm a Woman, and as a finale the classic Blancmange number Living On The Ceiling!



Exhausting, but downright bloody brilliant entertainment - I wouldn't have missed this for the world...

More Biddie and Eve