As always!
Once again, she shows the young 'uns (in this case Miley-fucking-Cyrus) how it's done...
And here she is (once again) winning the "battle of the broads" with our darling Luciana:
Betty White on IMDB
Showing posts with label Xmas 2013. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Xmas 2013. Show all posts
Wednesday, 25 December 2013
Dreaming of a Betty White Xmas
As always!
Once again, she shows the young 'uns (in this case Miley-fucking-Cyrus) how it's done...
And here she is (once again) winning the "battle of the broads" with our darling Luciana:
Betty White on IMDB
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Cleaning my soul
From the BBC:
Computer pioneer and codebreaker Alan Turing has been given a posthumous royal pardon.I feel so delighted, I am going to play a rare beast - a tasteful Xmas-time song - it's The Power of Love by Frankie Goes To Hollywood (from twenty-nine years ago this week!):
It overturns his 1952 conviction for homosexuality for which he was punished by being chemically castrated.
The conviction meant he lost his security clearance and had to stop the code-cracking work that proved vital to the Allies in World War II.
The pardon was granted under the Royal Prerogative of Mercy after a request by Justice Minister Chris Grayling.
I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw
Keep the vampires from your door
Feels like fire
I'm so in love with you
Dreams are like angels
They keep bad at bay - bad at bay
Love is the light
Scaring darkness away - yeah
I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw
Keep the vampires from your door
When the chips are down I'll be around
With my undying, death-defying
Love for you
Envy will hurt itself
Let yourself be beautiful
Sparkling love, flowers
And pearls and pretty girls
Love is like an energy
Rushin' rushin' inside of me
The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
This time we go sublime
Lovers entwine - divine divine
Love is danger, love is pleasure
Love is pure - the only treasure
I'm so in love with you
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
The power of love
A force from above
Cleaning my soul
The power of love
A force from above
A sky-scraping dove
Flame on burn desire
Love with tongues of fire
Purge the soul
Make love your goal
I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw
Keep the vampires from your door.
Good news or not, I still give my traditional greeting at this time of year - Bah Humbug...
Dear Santa...
OK! OK! I give in.
The lovely Gay Santa (aka Andrew Christian) and his elves have been persuading me to get my letter in quick - otherwise all my dreams this festering season won't come true...
...oh, and also to:
Buy!
More!
Underpants!
I may agree to the latter, as long as these hunky "elves" are still in them when they arrive.
By the way - the video's title says "uncensored", so if you do happen to open this at work - blame Santa!
The countdown's almost over, folks...
Monday, 23 December 2013
I am jingling...
It is our last Tacky Music Monday, dear reader, before tackiness of all kinds truly envelops us, courtesy of this "festering season"...
Who better to wake us up, as we (some of us, at least) stagger into work for a couple more days, than the Queen of Trash (Italian TV-style) Miss Heather Parisi?! Here, she and her finocchi sicurezza* pay a tuneful tribute to that most godawful of Xmas songs, Jingle Bells:
Fantastico, indeed.
[*finocchi - fennel, type of plant from the parsley family (Botany), queer, fairy, gay, homosexual person; sicurezza - safety, security, emergency.]
Sunday, 22 December 2013
Thoughts for the day
Continuing our countdown for this year's "festering season", here's an appropriate tribute to all this tastefulness:
Balls, indeed.
Saturday, 21 December 2013
Disapproval would be folly
It's the last Saturday before The Big Day, and inevitably the world and his wife will be going completely and utterly mad. Not the day to brave Oxford Street (normally dreadful, but today no doubt it resembles The Seventh Gate of Hell), methinks!
Here's the ever-brilliant Tom Lehrer with an appropriate number for the occasion - A Christmas Carol:
Christmas time is here, by golly
Disapproval would be folly
Deck the halls with hunks of holly
Fill the cup and don't say when
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens
Even though the prospect sickens
Brother, here we go again
On Christmas Day you can't get sore
Your fellow man you must adore
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four
Relations, sparing no expense, 'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
("Just the thing I need, how nice!")
It doesn't matter how sincere it is
Nor how heartfelt the spirit
Sentiment will not endear it
What's important is the price
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings
Advertising wondrous things
God rest ye merry merchants
May ye make the Yuletide pay
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and – buy!
So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle
Hail our dear old friend Kriss Kringle
Driving his reindeer across the sky
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!
Tom Lehrer (born 9th April 1928)
Friday, 20 December 2013
Ho Ho Ho
It's the end of the last week before you-know-what, and once again, for that we are extremely grateful!
Let us celebrate the occasion with a festering, sorry festive treat as we dust the last bits of tinsel out of our crevices with this jolly choon from a combo calling themselves Whack Magic:
Thank Disco Santa It's Friday! Have a good one...
Thursday, 19 December 2013
It brings peace on Earth and joy
Continuing the countdown - and to make our "festering season" really special, it seems appropriate to dispense with this religious claptrap and offend as many people as possible.
But it seems Kenny and Mr Hankey from South Park have beaten us to it!
And just in case anyone failed to understand the eloquent Kenny...
Mr. Hankey: Howdy Ho!So seasonal.
The Virgin Mary was sleeping when Angel Gabriel appeared,
He said, "You are to be the virgin mother"
And Mary thought that was weird.
Kenny: Mary said "I'm not a virgin, I blew a guy last year"
Mr. Hankey: But then Gabriel said to Mary,
"My child, have no fear."
Kenny: 'Cause you can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: And still not be considered flawed.
Kenny: Although you went to town, and sucked some semen down,
Together: You're still a virgin in the eyes of God.
Mr. Hankey: There was no room at the inn
When Mary and Joseph did arrive
They were so very tired you see
Kenny: and Mary had to offer a bribe,
Mr. Hankey: Since she had no money
Kenny: How would she pay for a place to sleep?
Mr. Hankey: Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her not to weep
Kenny: 'Cause, you can suck all the dick you want...
And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: And still be the mother of Christ.
Together: If there's no room at the inn
Then it's not considered a sin
Kenny: To suck some dick to get a room for the night!
Mr. Hankey: That's right!
And three wise men did appear
Bearing gifts of myrrh and such
They said that they had followed a star
And missed a woman's touch
Kenny: Mary thought she might pleasure them, but could not take them to bed,
Mr. Hankey: But again Gabriel appeared to her and this is what he said
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Mr. Hankey: Every one in the nation.
Kenny: Fellatio ain't no sin
She gonna blow those three wise men,
Mr. Hankey: And you'll still be a virgin
Kenny: 'Cause there was no penetration
Kenny: You can suck all the dick you want...
Together: And still be a virgin, Mary!
Kenny: That donkey, and the ox and the lamb...
Mr. Hankey: And even the little drummer boy.
Folks will remember your name quick.
Kenny: They'll say "Damn! that bitch could suck a good dick!"
Together: Cause sucking dick brings peace on Earth and joy!
Kenny: Cause sucking dick...
Mr. Hankey: ..brings peace on Earth and joy!
Kenny: Mary, Mary suck that dick!
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
Krampus, Ren, Stimpy and me
Allegedly experiencing a bit of a revival in popularity "as a reaction against a holiday that has become increasingly anodyne, child-centric and commercialised, and [in] an attempt to re-engage with a darker, pagan tradition", according to The Guardian, every Yuletide Krampus - the ancient goat-demon from Germany; the "anti-Santa" - appears armed with a rusty chain to beat naughty children and a sack to cart them off to the underworld.
There is also an annual Krampuslauf - or Krampus run - in which drunken men dressed as devils parade through the streets frightening everyone.
Krampus is apparently a traditional part of Germany's Christmas celebrations, accompanying St Nicholas on his feast-day rounds on the eve of 6th December, known as Krampusnacht.
More about Krampus
I like the idea of this demon creature. He seems most appropriate - for today marks the start of the traditional (evil) seven-day countdown to that day here at Dolores Delargo Towers. And, in a style befitting our respect for this "festering season", here's I Hate Christmas by the ever-wonderful Ren from The Ren & Stimpy Show...
Every Christmas, I am listless
Giving gifts just ain’t my bag
Sleigh bells ringing, and off key singing,
Christmas music makes me gag!
Ren & Stimpy's Crock'o'Christmas
Bah Humbug.
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