Don't judge a book by its cover

And so, farewell to the twinkly-eyed, devilishly handsome, suave and sophisticated Anthony Head, who died this week.

Many people associate him most, understandably, with his long-running character "Rupert Giles" in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I hardly ever watched the show.

Instead, like most Britons of a certain age, it is for this - the role that made him famous, the most romantic "soap opera" ["coffee opera", perhaps?] on telly in the 80s - that we remember him most!

Gold Blend adverts compilation [Anthony Head, Sharon Maughan]

He was so much more than that, needless to say. He had a much-lauded stage career, and as a singer released a few albums of solo work.

This, of course, was perhaps his most surprising role...

Anthony Head - Sweet Transvestite [Rocky Horror Tribute Show, 2006]

Don't get strung out...

RIP, Anthony Stewart Head (20th February 1954 – 1st June 2026)

Of George, irrelevant awards, cocks, life-forms, cult TV, a jam-marketeer and a cow

A new production of Sondheim's Sunday In The Park With George, starring Ariana Grande and the very lovely Jonathan Bailey, will open at the Barbican Centre in London in summer 2027. We must get tickets!

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Big yawn news: The nominations for this year's Oscars have been announced. Once again, there's nothing in any category that has even tempted me to want to see it, and many films I've never even heard of. I won't be watching.
• Big cocks win medals news: Ski jumping officials have introduced new checks after claims some athletes were injecting acid into their genitals to gain an advantage. A bigger penis means a bigger suit and that helps aerodynamics, apparently. I could think of better things to do with one than skiing!
• Primordial monsters news: A 370 million-year-old fossil found in Scotland is an entirely new form of life which towered 26ft tall, scientists have confirmed. Either that or they were aliens. I await the conspiracy theories...

RIP Patsy King, better known as "Governor Erica Davidson" in Prisoner Cell Block H - heavens, how I loved that show! "That will be all, Miss Bennett!"

• Gold-digger news: Meghan Markle - the artist formerly known as "Duchess" - continues her trajectory towards being a pastiche of herself, as her much-over-hyped Netflix show Meghan With Love has proved an almighty ratings flop, and is rumoured to have been cancelled. Karma is a cruel mistress.
• Moo news: The world's media has gone mad about the discovery that Veronika the Cow can scratch her own arse by using a broom - the first time a farm animal has been recorded doing so. There wasn't much on telly in Austria that week.
• And finally...

[click any pic to embiggen]

And the weather? Pissing down all day, and no sign of it brightening up for a while yet. Roll on our trip to Spain!

Got to be strong to be good

And so, farewell then, Sheila Bernette.

An obscure name even over here in the UK nowadays - but to anyone of a generation that remembers 1970s British telly, she was everywhere!

A naturally gifted and very funny woman, she appeared in The Dick Emery Show, Coronation Street, Butterflies and with Morecambe and Wise, Larry Grayson, Leslie Crowther and Jimmy Tarbuck, was Tommy Cooper's "magician's assistant", regularly sang and performed on The Good Old Days, and was probably best-remembered as one of the pranksters (often as a "little old lady") on Candid Camera.

And then there was this - her famous advert for Extra Strong Mints:

Classic Ads: Sharp's Extra Strong Mints with Sheila Bernette and Ken Morley

Simply faboo! 

Another little piece of the fabric of my childhood, gone. RIP.

Of bulges, ancient Eastbourne, bye-bye Ramsey Street, the high life, good fortune, prehistory and a pop princess

RIP Gil Gerard, aka Buck Rogers, with his impressive space weapon! [click any pic to embiggen]

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Oops! news: An ancient skeleton that for decades was mistakenly cited as African, and as "the earliest black Briton", has been scientifically identified as a locally-born girl, probably from what is today the coastal resort of Eastbourne.
• The soap that wouldn't die news: The beloved Aussie soap Neighbours - that launched the careers of such heavyweights as Kylie Minogue, Guy Pearce, Russell Crowe, Natalie Imbruglia, Margot Robbie and Liam Hemsworth - has ended for good (again! It was revived after its last grand finale in 2022 as a streaming show on Amazon), after 40 years.

• Luxurious living news: Coco Chanel's Mediterranean villa La Pausa [above], at which she hosted the kind of parties that we would never be invited to, but the likes of Jean Cocteau, Colette, Igor Stravisnksy, Luchino Visconti and Salvador Dalí were, has been completely restored and reopened as a cultural centre.
• Lucky bastards news: A Welsh couple is celebrating winning £1 million on the lottery - for the second time, seven years after their first million-pound win! "All day long I'd biddy biddy bum, if I were a wealthy man." But I'm not. Dammit.

• Mountain-climbing dinosaurs? news: Thousands of dinosaur footprints have been discovered on a rock cliff - about 600 metres (nearly 2,000 feet) above the nearest road - high up in the Italian Alps.
• And finally: The race to be Britain's Xmas #1 single is hotting up - with Wham! and Mariah-fucking-Carey both in the running again - but one of the bookies' favourites this year is... Our Princess Kylie! Fingers crossed for Friday, when the Xmas Chart is announced...

Kylie Minogue - X-M-A-S!

And the weather? Blustery, but not that cold if you're out of the wind.

Of Schloss and soap

We've had the Madam's sister Carol staying for a couple of nights, and last night he'd booked us all a table at a German restaurant. It's a Monday night, we thought, it'll be quiet and genteel...

Ha! Albert's Schloss, on Shaftesbury Avenue in the heart of the West End's Theatreland, turned out to be quite the party venue, indeed - a singer (doing "cabaret" versions of modern pop and rock numbers), a DJ, and even people dancing on tables! On a Monday.

London is most definitely "the city that never sleeps"... We had a ball!

Of course, as a consequence, getting up for work this morning was - ahem - fuzzy, to say the least. But I coped.

---

Meanwhile...

Happy 65th birthday, Coronation Street!

[click any pic to embiggen]

Britain's best-loved soap, and the world's longest-running, it's had more than its fair share of memorable strong female characters since its creation by a gay man Tony Warren. Some connection there, I wonder...?

Here's a roll-call of the best-of-the-best:

Ena Sharples, Minnie Caldwell, Martha Longhurst

Elsie Tanner

Bet Lynch

Annie Walker

Betty Turpin

Hilda Ogden

Rita Tanner (née Littlewood, previously Sullivan, and Fairclough) and Mavis Riley


Deirdre Barlow (with Mike Baldwin and Ken Barlow)

Raquel Wolstenhulme (with Curly Watts)

Vera Duckworth (with Jack)

Liz McDonald

...and here's the first ever episode, from way back in 1960...

Coronation Street - 9th December 1960 (The First Episode)

The most haunting and instantly-recognisable TV theme tune ever.

Swoon of the day

"Sometimes I feel the past is a more comfortable place than the future." - Harold Levinson [Lady Cora's brother].

I do so agree...

Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale - Official Trailer

How life should be.

At a cinema near you. Don't miss it!

So I could see it at my leisure, whenever things go wrong

After a stressful last week at work, and the glittering spectacle of the Cartier exhibition at the V&A - read my post about that over at Dolores Delargo Towers Museum of Camp - followed by a fab evening at our fave Wetherspoons the Penderel's Oak yesterday, it has (understandably) been a bit of a lazy day today, despite the lovely sunshine.

However, I have stumbled across a bit of a treat that I needed to share, dear reader!

Our beloved and much-missed Victoria Wood was renowned for her "observational" style of comedy. Her sketches and characters were often based upon, or inspired by, real-life people, conversations, and scenarios she had experienced - and this unintentionally hilarious video clip is a perfect example of something that deeply influenced her.

She loved it so much, she apparently used to watch it every Xmas!

Highway (1987) - Ipswich - Who Will Buy?

I utterly adore it, too!

Where the show is gay and bright!

Jan and Basil

As my dear regular reader will be aware, one of our favourite choices for an evening's entertainment is "Old-Time Music Hall" - and there is no finer ensemble in that genre than the company of The Players Theatre. So we were thrilled to get another opportunity to go and see them on Tuesday in the absolutely perfect environs of Wilton's Music Hall, and they certainly didn't disappoint!

With the traditional "firm hand on the gavel", the very funny - and splendidly-waistcoated - Chairman Mr Kevin Gauntlett introduced a fine line-up of old and new faces, including crooner Mr Philip Day, comedy operetta duo Mr Malcolm McKee and Miss Nicola Keen, Miss Hilary O'Neil as Florrie Forde, West End chorine Miss Alice Ellen Wright, comic singer Mr Ben Stock and conjurer Mr Steve Price - all accompanied on the piano by the peerless Music Hall Maestro Mr Tom Carradine.

All the old favourite classic sing-a-long numbers were there: Down at the Old Bull and Bush, Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy, Oh! Oh! Antonio!, Daisy Daisy (A Bicycle Made for Two), The Lambeth Walk, Don't Dilly-Dally On The Way, When Father Papered the Parlour, Joshua, Joshua and so on - and we sang 'em all with gusto!

There were even some new songs in the old style, too - courtesy of Mr Josh Bryant-Jones and his She Pushed Me Into the Parlour.

However, the undisputed "star turn" of the entire revue was the irreverent superstar puppet Mr Basil Brush, beloved icon of generations of children and adults alike and "national treasure" [he's been on and off British telly regularly since 1962]! Here's a (very) short snippet from Tuesday's performance:

...and here's one from the archives - the legend at work on his prime-time show, charming none other than Twiggy almost half a century ago in 1976:

It was an absolute gem of an evening's entertainment, and full kudos for the whole thing must go to the lady who was behind it all - another veteran of children's telly (Crackerjack!) and of the Player Theatre Music Hall [we've seen her performing as part of the troupe on many occasions [click her name and/or the Players Theatre link in the labels at the foot of this post for more] and hoped to do so again on Tuesday, but no such luck - although she did smile and wave when she saw us as she wandered around the auditorium!] - producer/director Miss Jan Hunt!

However, let the last word go to The Maestro, Mr Carradine:

Tom Carradine - Let's All Go to the Music Hall

Faboo!

Suck 'em

Our magnificent Oriental Trumpet Lily "Eastern Moon" dominates the whole garden, and its scent fills the night air!

Back down to earth with a bump!

It's been a splendid weekend - celebrating the absolute zenith of our social calendar, Gay Pride [more on that later, no doubt], followed by a much-needed "day of rest" - but now it's time to get back to the grindstone, and earn our keep...

Never mind, eh? When World Chocolate Day and a Tacky Music Monday collide, this happens! Guaranteed to cheer us all up:

Chef - Chocolate Salty Balls

Have a good week, dear reader.

This blog will self-destruct in five seconds

Disclaimer: the above film did not feature a classic theme tune.

Another day, another departure for Fabulon...

There have been numerous tributes to the great Lalo Schifrin, who died on Thursday - prolific composer of TV and film music, including Cool Hand Luke, Enter the Dragon, The Amityville Horror, The Eagle Has Landed and the Dirty Harry films. However, I doubt anyone would easily bring any of those themes to mind.

This one, on the other hand, is ingrained in all our collective memories...

Lalo Schifrin - Mission Impossible [1966 - 1973 opening and closing theme]

Such was its legend that the concept was famously revived, thirty years after the TV show's debut, as a big-screen star vehicle for diminutive "action man" Tom Cruise in 1996 - and one half of megastar band U2 made Mr Schifrin's composition a massive worldwide hit all over again!

Adam Clayton & Larry Mullen - Theme From Mission: Impossible [1996]

I prefer the original, tbh.

RIP, Lalo Schifrin (born Boris Claudio Schifrin, 21st June 1932 – 26th June 2025)

Of Batman, spies, censorship, earth-moving, god-botherers and a Dame

RIP, Val Kilmer, gorgeous star of "Top Gun" and "Batman Forever".

Another snippets post today, dear reader:

• Spy news: Compact spy cameras, microdots in a talcum powder tin, a briefcase abandoned by Soviet spy Guy Burgess as he fled the UK, and a desiccated 110-year-old lemon that played a pivotal role in WWI are all on show in a new exhibition MI5: Official Secrets at the National Archives, opening this weekend. I wonder if they have any of James Bond's gadgets on display?
• Philistines news: Paris may be scented by centuries of coffee and Gauloise aromas, but the Paris Metro has banned a poster advertising a new David Hockney exhibition because he happens to be holding a cigarette! "L'Etat nounou", vraiment! ["Nanny State", indeed! in English]

• Never complain about potholes again news: Britain's 'wonkiest road' that was so badly damaged by a landslip during "Storm Eunice" in 2022 it was being used as a makeshift skate park has finally reopened after £5million was spent on repairs.
• False miracles news: Zealots in a church in Indiana who thought red marks on a communion wafer were some kind of miracle have been told it was actually just bacteria from being handled by dirty hands. Hallelujah!
• And finally: Among a slew of birthdays that includes Sir Alec Guinness, Marvin Gaye, Emperor Charlemagne of the Franks, Michael Fassbender, Emmylou Harris, "Adrian Mole" creator Sue Townsend, Paul Gambaccini, Casanova, Buddy Ebsen, Hans Christian Andersen, Serge Gainsbourg, Émile Zola, Linford Christie (who is 65!), Keren Woodward of Bananarama, Pedro Pascal (50) and - erm - Dr. Demento...

  ...it is the 85th birthday today of darling Dame Penelope Keith, star of The Good Life, To the Manor Born, and so much more besides - including her guest appearances on the Morecambe and Wise Show! All hail...

And the weather? The glorious Spring sunshine continues (even if the wind's a little chilly at times)!

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus!

Our daffs have been glowing in the sunshine today!

Happy Saint David's Day, dear reader!

It's been a beautiful day for the celebration of all things Welsh - and floral - and I have spent it fruitfully in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. I've dug out and repotted a big Thalictrum and two hardy geraniums, pruned back a few more ferns, and redone the window box that had been ripped out and scattered everywhere by a bastard fox, pottering and tidying as I went along. Now I'm aching - but happy.

Speaking of things to cheer one's spirits - how about a bit [and I know which bit I'd have liked when he still looked like that!] of Sir Tom Jones, Tom Jones? Os gwelwch yn dda!

Tom Jones- Help Yourself

Fab-las!

Speaking of all things Welsh - "What's occurring?"

Gavin & Stacey: The Best of Nessa

Well lush.

The Voice

"Parker" in Thunderbirds...

Parker Lost Lady Penelope's Yacht - Thunderbirds

...and "Brains"...

Brains Has A New Invention - Thunderbirds

...and (several of) the Daleks:

First Appearance of the Daleks in Doctor Who

...he voiced them all!

RIP, the mellifluous and multi-talented voice actor David Graham (11th July 1925 – 20th September 2024).

Departure lounge

They're dropping like flies at the moment! House favourite here at Dolores Delargo Towers, the marvellous multilingual singer, guitarist, star of 50s/60s variety shows alongside the likes of Dean Martin and Fred Astaire, and schlager legend in Germany, Miss Caterina Valente has departed for the glittering environs of Fabulon, aged 93...

Caterina Valente - Malagueña

Caterina Valente - Bongo Cha Cha Cha

...closely followed by the star of one of my favourite TV shows when I was a kid Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) - as well as Coronation Street, That Was the Week That Was and Carry On films - Kenneth Cope [above, top left]. Here's the fantabulosa theme tune:

And an old classic:

Kenneth Cope on "the twilight world of the heterosexual" [That Was the Week That Was, 1963]

RIP, both.

He's the greatest, he's fantastic! Wherever there is danger he'll be there

Another snippets post, dear reader...

• Sad news: The writer and co-creator of one of the UK's (and our) most beloved cartoons Danger Mouse, Brian Trueman has died aged 92. Here's the theme tune, by way of a trip down memory lane...

• Spanish dating news: A new TikTok-inspired craze has swept Spain - single people head to Mercadona supermarket between 7pm and 8pm, put an upside-down pineapple in their trolley and cruise the aisles looking for pick-ups. Been there, done that. Without the pineapple.
• Science news: Mobile phones do not contribute to brain cancer, according to a new scientific study for the World Health Organisation. Maybe twats will stop holding their damned phoned at right-angles to their face and use them properly now?

• Acting royalty news: Sir Ian "Serena" McKellen has quashed suggestions of retirement, and wants to play "Gandalf" again - "I'm not letting anyone else put on the pointy hat and beard if I can help it."
• And finally: A full-size Xmas tree was spotted on a street in Bromley. In August!

And the weather? Up and down like a whore's drawers.

Thought for the day

Kath & Kim.

A classic - now available on Netflix, for those of you who subscribe to it.

All me friends call me Fanny!

Happy 50th birthday today to Mr Matt Lucas, one of Britain's favourite funnymen.

A perfect excuse (if any were needed) to feature a compilaatiuon of "best bits" featuring what is probably his most memorable character...

Matt Lucas - Little Britain - "The Only Gay In The Village" compilation

Minge!

How much?!

Antiques Roadshow viewers appear to be thrilled by the same things happening every week. To get the most out of the show, these entirely predictable events should shock you to the core.

They weren’t expecting it to be worth that much!
Well done, you have correctly identified the main idea on which the programme is predicated. Now go and watch Call the Midwife and be blown away by the fact that it’s about midwives. Again!

Being old makes some things more valuable!
Amazing, isn’t it? Old things are usually worth less, like your brother-in-law Derek’s 1991 Peugeot 205. It was only worth 120 quid for scrap. Maybe it was something to do with the Peugeot not being a painting by Sir Edwin Landseer.

Imagine getting £15,000 for a table!
Yes, £15,000 is a decent sum of money. However Brian and Pauline from Chester aren’t exactly entering the superyachts-and-models world of a Saudi prince. That’s probably why Brian looks so miserable.

Fiona Bruce looks a lot older now.
Yes, she does look older than when she first started presenting TV programmes 32 years ago in 1992. Do you look at photos of yourself as a child and go: ‘MY GOD! I’VE TURNED INTO A GIANT!’?

It’s modern but it’s an antique!
You’re absolutely right. That rare German glassware only dates back to the 1970s but it’s worth several thousand pounds. Maybe something can be valuable even if archaeologists didn’t find it in Julius Caesar’s house?

Look how big that stately home is!
Yes. Do you know why? Because slavery was very profitable. You buy the slaves very cheap and sell them at a big profit because they won’t cost their new owner a penny in wages. Everyone’s a winner. Also, during the Industrial Revolution if one of your workers had an accident the only compensation they got was five minutes off to look for their severed finger.

Who’d want that in their house?
It’s hard to deny those baroque nudes are somewhat more ‘chunky’ than, say, Margot Robbie. However that’s due to tastes changing over time. Rembrandt probably wouldn’t have wanted your Mr Bean bobblehead in his house either.

I might have something worth £20,000 in my loft!
You don’t. Unless a roll of old carpet and a broken Swingball set are worth 10 grand apiece.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Dropping like flies, part 2...

A young Laurie Johnson and Petula Clark, 1955 by Harry Hammond

Laurie's music touched the lives of millions around the world. Throughout his illustrious career, he composed numerous iconic scores, themes and soundtracks that graced our lives across film, TV, theatre and radio. [His family's statement to the BBC yesterday].

Indeed he did. Among the many, many all-too-familiar theme tunes for which we have to thank the man are these:

Laurie Johnson - This Is Your Life theme

Laurie Johnson - The Avengers theme

Laurie Johnson - The Professionals theme

Laurie Johnson - Animal Magic theme

And finally, a little something I stumbled across courtesy of the Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show on BBC Radio 6 Music, that seems most appropriate to feature here:

AC Soul Symphony - The Philly Avengers [New Avengers theme remixed]

[NB "AC Soul Symphony" is the latest nom-de-plume of the artist formerly known as Joey Negro, DJ Dave Lee]

So many childhood memories. Sigh.

RIP, Laurie Johnson (7th February 1927 – 16th January 2024).

I'm not a minger, it's plain to see

OH! The horror!

After a lovely two-week break from it all - yet with so much going on - I could do with another week off. But no! The grim world of work beckons...

Let's cheer things up a tad, shall we, with this "classic" tribute to Christina Aguilera from the "noughties" sitcom Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps:

Sheridan Smith as "Janet" - Donna & Louise [Knob Cheese]

I've always had a pair of massive tits
You can see them from Northwich
But out in the town with mates
Men never want me prostrate

They go for Donna and Louise

I'm not a minger, it's plain to see
And I'm not built like Lisa Riley
And I'd have any boy
With a dick like a saveloy

You'd fancy Donna and Louise

Maybe he's out there in town tonight
The voice in my head tells me, "Is he shite?"
I need a boyfriend
Not sloppy seconds

They all want Donna and Louise

They fancy Donna and Louise
Leo, Libra and Pisces
Black or white or Mongolese
I'm not fussed about herpes
Just don't come near me with knob cheese
No, no, no
Don't come near me with knob cheese

Words to live by.

Have a good week, dear reader. I won't.