I believe that we have wiped out a generation or two of natural human appearance

[click to embiggen]

Jamie Lee Curtis takes a stand against cosmetic enhancement treatments.

She's fabulous!

Tupperware

"When I die they will donate my body to Tupperware." - Joan Rivers

A revolutionary new type of plastic surgery does not make people look worse than they did before.

Innovative techniques mean patients will no longer resemble varnished shop window dummies that have slightly melted in a fire.

Plastic surgeon Stephen Malley said: “Previously we thought the inevitable outcome of face lifts and rhinoplasties was to give patients an unsettling, not-quite-human appearance like the Autons in Doctor Who.

“But we have perfected a series of radical new techniques, such as not chiselling perfectly normal noses into unusual shapes that don’t exist in nature.

“We’re also experimenting with not doing something weird to people’s eyelids or carving their face into the likeness of a startled skeleton.”

Malley will also turn his attention to other areas of cosmetic surgery, including breast implants that are breast-shaped rather than looking like half an 18th century naval cannonball.

The Daily Mash.

Of course.

I'm rich, I'm famous, I vanish, I'm glitz

Speaking of plastic surgery...

Here's the magnificent Felix da Housecat and the ever-wonderful Miss Kittin, with possibly the creepiest video imaginable - featuring, among other surgically-enhanced grandes dames, the bizarre Duchess of Alba (Full name: María del Rosario Cayetana Paloma Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Fernanda Teresa Francisca de Paula Lourdes Antonia Josefa Fausta Rita Castor Dorotea Santa Esperanza Fitz-James Stuart, Silva, Falcó y Gurtubay)!

Felix da Housecat (feat Miss Kittin) - Madame Hollywood

Everybody wants to be Hollywood
The fame, the vanity, the glitz, the stories
One day, I'll become a great big star

You know like the big dipper
And maybe one day you can visit my condo
On the big hill you know like 9-0-2-1-0

Just imagine my face in the magazine
People analysing my look, my body or
Any plastic surgery

You know like the big dipper
And maybe one day you can shake
My hand on the planet Hollywood

You say, I'm not underground
I'm rich, I'm famous, I vanish, I'm glitz
I am the story, I am the star
You know like the big dipper

Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll
It's over
It's over
I decide, it's over

Everybody wants to be Hollywood
And maybe one day you can visit my condo
On the big hill you know like 9-0-2-1-0, oh yeah

If that doesn't put you off "having a little work done", nothing will.

Who's that girl?

Dedicated to Miss Renée "Bridget Jones" Zellweger, who seems lately to have a completely new head...

Charlie Hides - What Happened To Her Face?

Charlie Hides TV.

Of course.

{2022 UPDATE: Like so much of Mr Hides' material - gone from the interwebs]

Miss Zellweger is not the only one whose face appears to be completely different to how we remember it.

Take Nicole Kidman, for example:



Or Jennifer "Dirty Dancing" Grey:



How about Meg Ryan?



Or Priscilla Presley?



And let's not even mention Jennifer Rush...

Thought for the Day

Rich B & Marcella Puppini - What Have You Done To Your Face?

More Awful Plasic Surgery

'Cause I am your lady

Remember that spiky-haired warbler Jennifer Rush? She of the unmistakable opening lines to one of the 80s greatest power ballads Power of Love?

The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling by like thunder now
As I look in your eyes

I hold on to your body
And feel each move you make
Your voice is warm and tender
A love that I could not forsake

'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can...

Well she is back - and with a completely new head!



Looking remarkably like some ghastly offspring of Pete Burns and Donatella Versace, Miss Rush has nonetheless come up with a superbly catchy comeback single, Echoes of Love - enjoy!

Jennifer Rush - Echoes of Love

Jennifer Rush website

"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do"

"It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core."

It was the 93rd birthday yesterday of the irrepressible and crazy-haired Phyllis Diller; in her time the greatest female stand-up comedian in the world!

In her long career, Miss Diller worked with greats such as Bob Hope, entertained the troops in Vietnam, had her own TV show and was a long-standing character in the US daytime soap The Bold and the Beautiful, made several movies and provided voice-overs for hit animation such as A Bug's Life, and found time to lend her considerable support to gay rights issues. Phew!

Facts about Phyllis Diller:

• Although one of her famous props was a long cigarette holder, she never smoked in her life
• Her autobiography is called Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse - a description she applied to her own on-stage appearance.
• The mayor of Philadelphia officially proclaimed 8th June 2001 as "Phyllis Diller Day".

She is remarkable! Many happy returns...

Phyllis Diller and her bird legs

The lady herself is a great fan of plastic surgery, allegedly having undergone fifteen separate procedures. Here she is explaining a little more...

Phyllis Diller on plastic surgery

Phyllis also recorded several albums, singing "classics" in her own inimitable style...

Phyllis Diller - (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction