Showing posts with label Professor Elemental. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Professor Elemental. Show all posts

Saturday, 27 January 2018

No, not those. Those are my time travel trousers!


Jacob Rees-Mogg is to take over Britain at the head of a Steampunk army.

The rebel MP, who is now in charge of government via a Byzantine system of patronage, has ordered Theresa May to leave Downing Street or be blasted with an ornate bazooka.

Meanwhile, Rees-Mogg has outlined plans for a post-Brexit Britain of brass automatons, clockwork cars and steam-powered internet.

He said: “With myself at the helm, we will forge a brave new nation of valves and pumps, of smoked-glass goggles and Tesla coils, of transatlantic tunnels and invincible British airships darkening European skies.

“Somewhere around 1900, our birthright as a nation was snatched from us. I propose to reset the calendar and do the last hundred years or so properly, with parliament returned to its advisory role and the monarch in absolute power.

“Don’t you want your sons to be the first to wear top hats on Mars? Your daughters waited on by a house-robot named Stevens who contains a fully-functioning pipe organ capable of playing eight different hymns?”


Political commentator Eleanor Shaw said: “This is easily the most coherent vision of post-Brexit Britain we’ve heard so far.”
Huzzah!

The Daily Mash

Of course.

And here, to cheer the revolution along, is house favourite Professor Elemental:


Fab.

Right, onward and upward with this bally house-move - where are those boxwallahs?!

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

When I say "Earl Grey," you say "Yes, please!"



A strange article in The Guardian today focuses on the rise of "... the world’s unlikely capital of steampunk... the humble farming town of Oamaru, three hours south of Christchurch on New Zealand’s South Island."

Apparently, supported by the special effects team from Lord of the Rings and the availability of local farm equipment and junk shops, thousands of enthusiasts regularly descend on the town, and as a consequence Oamaru made it into the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest gathering of steampunks in the world.

I am most intrigued by the sentence: "Steampunk games such as teapot racing [were] invented in Oamaru..."

What on earth is it? How does one set up a "teapot race"?

Maybe the "king of steampunk rappers" Professor Elemental may be able to explain; he knows a thing or two about tea:


That almost took my mind off going back to work for a moment...

Thursday, 9 July 2015

Around the world in eighty brews


It's an adventure!

Think of me, sweeties. Today, in the middle of (yet another) Tube strike - it seems a £40k starting salary is not enough for them; boo hoo - I am wending my way from our abode in North London to a meeting in Kingston-upon-Thames, which is about as far south as one can go before London ends and the "Home Counties" begin. The Overground rail and the buses are "unaffected by industrial action". Apparently.

We shall see. I have my trusty pith helmet and native guides at the ready...

...and no doubt will need a Cup of Brown Joy by the end of it, like that "arch Victorian" adventurer, Professor Elemental!


Professor Elemental website

Monday, 29 April 2013

Great Machine for Catching Villains


From the itemised records of the 90s through to the detailed records of our online behaviour, it is getting easier to track what we do. There is vastly more information now about our every movement than there ever has been.

Such information can be very useful to law enforcement agencies and other public bodies. There were 494,078 requests for ‘communications data’ under the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act in 2011.

Some of the information about our connected lives is not legally available to law enforcement. Much of it, for example information from social media or our web histories, can be incredibly intrusive. It can reveal intimate details, including where we have been, what we have done, what we believe and who we know.

Through mistakes or abuse, the use of such information can lead to anything from wrongful suspicion through to the settling of scores. Merely the knowledge that what we are doing or saying is being tracked can have a chilling effect.

Just because information is useful to law enforcement does not mean that the state, or law enforcement agencies, or public bodies should be able to order its collection or have access to it. Our privacy rights are essential to ensure that we do not give away the power to collect and use information too cheaply.

The Government’s Communications Data Bill is a manifestation of the temptation to grab data where it exists, and of a failure to consider alternatives to blanket collection and retention of data.
From the Open Rights Group campaign against the "Snoopers' Charter" - read more

In February 2012, the coalition government announced plans to require communications service providers (everyone from ISPs to social networks) to intercept and collect everybody’s communications data just in case it's needed later in an investigation. In December 2012, the Joint Committee that examined this new draft Bill published its critical report and the Home Office has been re-drafting the Communications Data Bill since then.

But just this week Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg appears to have blocked the attempt by the current Home Secretary Theresa May to present the Bill to Parliament in the Queen's Speech on 8th May. He said plans to monitor records of people's internet use was "not going to happen" with the Lib Dems in government.

Responding to his comments, made in his weekly radio phone-in, campaign group Liberty said:
"If the Snoopers Charter really is dead, that's cause for significant celebration and relief. People live more and more of their intimate lives online and it was outrageous to suggest surveillance of the entire nation. Credit to all those in parliament and beyond with the imagination and courage to block this terrifying plan."
The Home Office declined to comment on what Clegg said. Discussions are apparently still going on to try to thrash out an agreement ahead of the Queen's Speech.

Meanwhile, the simply spiffing Professor Elemental has gone and got himself involved, and has built a Great Machine for Catching Villains!






It would be even funnier if it weren't so near the truth.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

Land of crumble, and lemon curd, and opportunity



Here's a splendid number to welcome us back to Blighty, courtesy of the wonderfully eccentric Professor Elemental:


Indeed!

Professor Elemental website

PS Today the world celebrates Mardi Gras with feathers, carnival and glitter; we have Pancake Day - you can't get more British than that!