Tuesday, 12 November 2019

Now, breathe


Producing carbon emissions that impact the environment is an unfortunate side effect of simply being alive, it has emerged.

The groundbreaking discovery was made by scientists observing any living thing at any time, but most especially humans wearing clothes, putting the heating on or ordering Dominos on a Friday night.

Professor Harry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “You know carbon dioxide? That thing that’s causing global warming? We literally breathe it out.

“We’re all walking along like little smokestacks all day long, and that’s before we have heating and cars and Spotify, all of which increase your carbon footprint, as does absolutely everything else.

“There doesn’t seem to be a way out. Solar panels and growing your own vegetables, sure, until you realise how much more efficient nuclear power and factory farming are. While still producing carbon. We are, it turns out, a carbon-based life form.”


Extinction Rebellion campaigner Nathan Muir said: “But what if I eat loads of jackfruit? What then?”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Monday, 11 November 2019

I don't care what all my friends are saying



Oh Lordy. Monday again - and I'd only just got used to it being the weekend...

Never mind, eh, as we try and second-guess the weather today (one minute it's a beautiful blue sky and chilly, the next it's dank and foggy and miserable), on this Tacky Music Monday let's brighten everything up with a little "something" from Sweden, courtesy of the Päivärinta sisters!


I hope you're taking fashion tips.

Have a great week, peeps!

Sunday, 10 November 2019

Totty of the Day







Happy 30th birthday today to the lovely Taron Egerton, who was so fabulous as Elton John in Rocketman [the main event at our most recent "Film Club"] - he should get the Oscar for his performance, in our opinion...


He's Welsh, you know! [His first name is a variation of taran, which means "thunder" in Cymraeg.]

Taron David Egerton (born 10th November 1989)

Saturday, 9 November 2019

Two Beers are better than one



I've been busy at home as well as in the office this week, dodging the murky weather and delving way back into the archives to finally systematically check and repair my old blogs from almost a decade ago. Unfortunately back in 2010 I tended to use the demonic Photobucket to paste photos from [I thought it was a good idea, I suppose, during that long "transition" when I transferred all the blogs one-by-one from MySpace to Blogger]. Since then, of course, I refused to be held ransom to their demands for hundreds of pounds just to host my photos so I removed them all and closed the Photobucket account, leaving lots of stupid placeholders where the photos used to be...

It's laborious, but worth it, when you revisit old blogs that featured long-forgotten "Tacky Music" gems - such as this one!


Oh, to be in Spain right now.

Friday, 8 November 2019

Smokin'



We all "jump for joy" as a weekend looms - and after the long dark week I have had, it can't come a moment too soon.

To get us into the mood for a party, how about another brilliant "Hair Metal/Funk mash-up" by Mr Bill McClintock? I think we should...

Thank Disco It's Friday!


Have a faboo weekend, dear reader!

Wednesday, 6 November 2019

Fit Bits?


We know the difference between wanking and running, fitness trackers confirm
A manufacturer of leading fitness trackers has confirmed the product does not confuse going for a run and having one off the wrist.

FitBit has released a statement informing users that the arm movements are distinctly different so no, you cannot toss off and get your steps in.

A spokesperson said: “The motions are similar, yes. And movement of the hand or wrist in a repetitive motion, linear or circular, will score you a few. But we know.

“You’re not only cheating yourself, you’re giving us a perfect 3D model of your wanking habits and an annual frequency graph. We’ve got all the data, it’s not pretty.

“Everyone does it but, Graham of Bournemouth, eight times in a day is too many.

“And we’ve just been bought by Google. Prepare for your targeted ads to get really uncomfortably specific.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

Gunpowder treason and plot



Ah, Bonfire Night is upon us - a tradition lost on our former colonial chums - all pyres and fireworks, mulled wine, sparklers, toffee apples, parkin and baked potatoes...

...or perhaps, as in this video from today's birthday boy Jonny Greenwood and his band Radiohead, something else altogether:


Bonfire Night/Guy Fawkes website

Monday, 4 November 2019

Una bandada de palomas



As if the arrival of yet another Monday weren't enough to make me scream, on this Tacky Music Monday we also have a giant scary pigeon to contend with...


I'm not sure what's the scariest thing about that video - the Paloma Monster, the silver lurex bell-bottoms, or the safety gays' dance routine.

Have a great week, dear reader. Don't have nightmares!

Sunday, 3 November 2019

Love it or leave it, you better gangway



After a faboo party for John-John's 60th last night - an event that brought loads of familiar old faces out of the woodwork (some former colleagues I hadn't seen for several years), as well the usual "gang" and many more besides - I am understandably having a bit of a quiet one today. I haven't even got dressed, but so what?

Let's stick to the "mellow" mood, with a rather surprising number from our beloved Postmodern Jukebox [for whom I spectacularly failed to get tickets at their forthcoming appearance at the Royal Festival Hall; it's now completely sold out] - a tribute to that hip-hop icon/stalwart/laughing-stock [delete as appropriate] Vanilla Ice (complete with a melting ice sculpture of the man himself)...


We love Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox!

Saturday, 2 November 2019

Excuse me...



...while I get ready for a night out!







It's party time.

Friday, 1 November 2019

Des yeux qui font baisser les miens



Good grief. As we crawl towards another weekend, most surprising news reaches our ears - Dame Anna Wintour, fashion maven and transcendent being that she is, will be (gulp) seventy years old this Sunday...



Also having a bit of a celebration is fellow fashionista and our "Patron Saint of Snarling", Grace Jones, who has just been announced as the next curator of the Southbank Centre's showpiece, the Meltdown Festival. That should prove interesting.



So, to get the party (parties) started - and ours on the weekend will be the celebration of our friend John-John's 60th - here is the lady in her full menacing glory. Thank Disco It's Friday!


Des yeux qui font baisser les miens,
un rire qui se perd sur sa bouche,
voilà le portrait sans retouche
de l’homme auquel j’appartiens.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
il me parle tout bas,
je vois la vie en rose.

Il me dit des mots d’amour,
des mots de tous les jours
et ça me fait quelque chose.

Il est entré dans mon cœur
une part de bonheur
dont je connais la cause.

C’est lui pour moi, moi pour lui dans la vie,
il me l’a dit, l’a juré pour la vie.

Et dès que je l’aperçois,
alors je sens en moi
mon cœur qui bat.

Des nuits d’amour à plus finir,
un grand bonheur qui prend sa place,
les ennuis, les chagrins s’effacent,
heureux, heureux à en mourir.

Quand il me prend dans ses bras,
il me parle tout bas,
je vois la vie en rose.

Il me dit des mots d’amour,
des mots de tous les jours
et ça me fait quelque chose.

Il est entré dans mon cœur
une part de bonheur
dont je connais la cause.

C’est toi pour moi, moi pour toi dans la vie.
Tu me l’as dit, l’as juré pour la vie.

Et dès que je t’aperçois,
alors je sens en moi
mon cœur qui bat.


Indeed.

Have a good one!