We avowed sport-phobes still had to watch the Olympics Closing Ceremony - it was a must...
Certainly it was a bit of a mixed bag, but nonetheless this was an excuse for a party - perhaps one in which the stereo system is a bit knackered (the sound levels were atrocious!), maybe the sort of party where some unwelcome gatecrashers make a bit of a mess on your favourite carpet, but a party nonetheless!
Best bits? Stomp!; Fatboy Slim's octopus; the Spice Girls and their motorised zimmer frames; Annie Lennox and the magnificent gothic pirates; Eric Idle with roller-skating nuns, morris dancers and Welsh ladies with beards; Take That looking sexier than One Direction;
Waterloo Sunset (despite Ray Davies's voice cracking up); Pet Shop Boys on futuristic tuk-tuks; the tributes to John Lennon and Freddie Mercury; the fireworks;
Running Up That Hill; Darcey Bussell as the flying phoenix; the fact that most of the acts performed on moving vehicles; the sheer joy on the faces of the athletes themselves.
Could have done without? Jessie bloody J, Teeny Tiny Tears Tempah and the other one; Russell Brand's smirk; Muse; George Michael's new song; the pointless Only Fools and Horses reference; Ed bloody Sheeran; the fashion show that fizzled out; the long-drawn-out ushering of the athletes into the arena with repeats of the music we'd just heard.
"Ouch" bits? Annie's too-quiet microphone; the shock of seeing Liam Gallagher looking so haggard; Suggs singing flat; the Who singing "hope I die before I get old" when their average age is 72; Timothy Spall doing a really bad Churchill impersonation; Boris Johnson dancing.
WTF bits? The whole Brazilian section. [And who the fuck are Elbow anyway?]
Disappointments? No David Bowie or Kate Bush as rumoured; nothing from the punk era.
Blessed reliefs? No Elton John, Cliff Richard, Phil Collins or Paul McCartney.
Despite some bad reviews (to be fair, the closing ceremony could never stand up against the
magnificent opening one), I think it was quite brilliant. We thoroughly enjoyed it! I think, if it achieved anything at all, the ceremony demonstrated in its eccentric mixture of diverse age-groups, cultures and styles of music and art, that Britain is a truly unique nation - and for that I am eternally grateful!
Watch the whole thing on BBC iPlayer (if it is available in your country, of course)
Highlights on The Guardian website
