Of venerable gardeners, giant rodents, knickers, jelly blobs and funky jumpsuits - and mayhem!

Phlox paniculata "Blue Boy" is the most magnificently-scented bloom in the gardens at the moment - even outdoing our Nicotiana sylvestris..!

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• National treasure news: The much-revered Geoff Hamilton, host of BBC Gardener's World for seventeen years through the late 70s, the 80s and early 90s, died 30 years ago this week (and would have been 90 years old next weekend). Needless to say, the show he presented for so long had a rather good tribute to him by current co-presenter and Chelsea-winning garden designer Adam Frost - himself once Geoff's apprentice - and we also watched another special programme Monty Don Remembers... Geoff Hamilton just the other day. Here's the man himself in action:

Geoff Hamilton & Ann Swithinbank's gardening tips (1980s)

• Order, order! news: A Brazilian legislative assembly was rudely interrupted - by a group of capybaras! Beats bloody "Just Stop Oil" protesters throwing orange powder, I suppose...
• Naughty knickers, shock! horror! news: Middle England has been clutching its pearls in shock at the news that the high street's most reliable, middle-of-the road store Marks & Spencer has started selling crotchless panties from a range by sex shop Ann Summers! Whatever next - poppers on sale in the "ready-meal" aisle?
• Don't eat the jelly! news: Thousands of bright electric blue sea creatures, thought to be "sea rafts" - related to the Portuguese Man'o'War but not as deadly - have been blown off-course from their usual tropical warm sea habitat, and washed up on a beach in Cumbria in northern England!
• And finally: RIP, David Z. Who? I hear you ask. Not only was he the principal studio engineer whose work transformed the early recording career of Prince (and was credited for creating the sound that launched the Purple One to mega-success), not only did he produce the magnificent She Drives Me Crazy for Fine Young Cannibals (which broke the band in the US, hitting #1 over there)... he was also one of the geniuses behind THIS!

Lipps, Inc. - Funkytown

And the weather? Still dry, not as hot as it has been - but so incredibly blustery I came home to find a whole branch of the bastard weed tree had snapped off and landed on top of the plants at the top of the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers! Not much damage done, thank goodness, and The Madam's chopped it up and thrown it over next-door where it belongs [they're actually away, thank gawd, so we have some peace]!

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FOOTNOTE:

Mayhem, Lesson 1 to 6 - incriminating evidence from Hils' 60th birthday party!

In case you were wondering what we were all staggering about dancing to - it's this!

DelaDap - Georgian Lesson 1-6

It truly wouldn't be one of our parties without it...

Why drink water when a freshly-brewed pot of Tetley’s is available?

Britain's grandmothers are concerned repeated heatwaves are tempting the foolish towards unhealthy chilled drinks and away from traditional scalding beverages.

Our wise elders have warned the country that even in 33-degree temperatures, they should remember the best way to cool down is with a big mug of nice hot tea.

Grandmother of eight Margaret Gerving said: “Hydrating? My grandfather served 22 years in the British Raj, and he never hydrated once. He stuck to hot tea.

“I’m all for this keeping curtains and windows closed all day, though I don’t hold with this opening them at night. But why drink water when a freshly-brewed pot of Tetley’s is available? That’s quenching.

“We had summers twice as hot as this, popping tar bubbles and frying eggs in them, and the kettle was never off. Tea heats up the body which has a cooling effect, it’s common sense proved by top scientists like Heinz Wolff.

“Tea is the most suitable drink to consume in all weathers and for all occasions. If you’re fancy you can have coffee. Either way, remember the golden rule and keep it piping. Also, for lunch, think about a stew.”

Grandson Kayden Gerving said: “When I die I go to heaven, for I have already served my time in hell sipping tea at my nan’s house in 44 degree temperatures. With 'Tipping Point' on.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Of Witches and Tricycles

The Witches of Eastwick! [click to embiggen]

On this day in history: "in fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue", setting off from Spain with three ships on his way to make his ground-breaking "discovery" of the Americas; in 1778 La Scala opera house opened in Milan; in 1858 the source of the Nile (Lake Victoria) was discovered; in 1914 Germany declared war on France; in 1936 Jesse Owens gave Hitler's "master-race" ideals a kicking by winning the first of four gold medals at the Berlin Olympics... and, in 1966, my sister was born!

When my father woke me on that fateful day (I was three years old), he said "We've got you an early birthday present. It's a baby sister.". I cried, and said "I wanted a tricycle!"

In tribute to my 60 years of resentment, here's an appropriate song - and the tackiest choice for a Tacky Music Monday in ages. I dedicate it to Hils...

TuTiTu - Tricycle Song

My ears hurt.

Have a good week, dear reader.

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STOP PRESS, 12.23am:

My last few posts arrived in the Blogger Reading List practically as soon as I pressed the "publish" button. Thus, it remains a mystery why this particular one has completely failed to do so, ELEVEN HOURS later. Bastard Google Gnomes!

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STOP PRESS #2, 9.20am:

It still hasn't shown up. Arseholes.

Chairs!

It's been a hectic weekend, dear reader!

My sister Hils' 60th birthday party last night was a fantabulosa, excessive occasion, as one would expect. Today, in full recovery mode, I didn't even get up until 3pm!

By that time, Madam Arcati, his sister Carol and niece Jen were already ensconced in Wetherspoons for lunch, so, after doing some emergency watering of some of the more desperate, drooping plants in the garden, what else could I do but join them..?

After all that, all I can do, really, is hand over to a word from our sponsor:

Soft Tempo Lounge - Vernon Panton '62

Nothing exceeds like excess, they say...

Music: Henrik Nielsen - Skylight Room]

You know I dress for every situation

[click to embiggen]

Awwww...

It's my ickle baby sister's SIXTIETH BIRTHDAY party today!

Not so "ickle" nowadays, of course:

By way of a little tribute, this - that she and I used to dance to at the long-gone Lazers nightclub "Bowie/Roxy" nights in Newport way back in the early 1980s...

Yazoo - Situation

Great (if distant) memories...

Happy Birthday, Hils!! We'll all be there tonight to celebrate your dotage...😂

Right now!

Oh, thank fuck (again). Another tedious and busy week's starting to fade away...

...and it's the magnificent Fatboy Slim's birthday!

A perfect excuse to get the party started [and it is, indeed, my dear sister Hils's 60th birthday party tomorrow]. Thank Disco Big Beat it's Friday!

Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now

Have a faboo weekend, dear reader!

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STOP PRESS (11pm 31/07/2026):

Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water the whole Blogger Reading List time-lag issue was sorted [every post I have published this week seems to have arrived in the feeds immediately, as it should] - no!

I published this "Thank Disco It's Friday" post at 7.40am. It still is not showing in the list.

Fuck those Google Gnomes!

I'm worse at what I do best, and for this gift, I feel blessed

Sharing the big day with another unlikely assortment of notables including the divine Kate Bush, Emily Brontë, Frances de la Tour, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Peter Bogdanovich, Daley Thompson, Lady Harriet Harman, Sir Clive Sinclair, Terry O'Neill, Henry Ford, Sir Christopher Nolan, Jimmy Cliff, David Sanborn, Rat Scabies, Stan Stennett, Christopher Warren-Green, Lisa Kudrow, Sid Krofft, Hilary Swank, Liz Kershaw, Buddy Guy and abstract modernist sculptor Henry Moore...

...it is the 85th birthday today of the man who wrote She's a Lady [a huge hit for Tom Jones], It Doesn't Matter Anymore [for Buddy Holly], Diana, and (of course) the lyrics to the enduring standard My Way - Mr Paul Albert Anka!

However, his 2005 album Rock Swings is, in my opinion, his finest hour. From it, this fave:

Paul Anka - Smells Like Teen Spirit

Faboo!