Sunday, 11 April 2021

All the right junk in all the right places

We've broken the back of the "Spring refresh" in the garden - now roll on summer! [click to embiggen]

The final day of my holiday. It's still a bit nippy out there, so just pottering today in the occasional bouts of sunshine, listening to "our kind of music"...

...and here's our resident orchestra and chorus to provide a bit more!


Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox website

Saturday, 10 April 2021

The perfect holiday

Having spent most of my fortnight's leave slogging in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers - just about every pot and trough of perennials and every one of our (surviving) fuschias has been lifted and planted into brand new compost; we've got through at least six bags of the stuff - the weather today is really quite grotty, so I'm having a "rest day" in preparation for the horror looming on Monday, when I'm back to work.

Needless to say, all our dreams are pinned on the vagaries of winning the Lottery, and jetting off to somewhere exotic and fabulously stylish... the company of a (dearly-departed) Dame and her E-Type Jag, perhaps?

Ah, that's better.

[Music: Vast Resources by Jan Kimberly. Original film: Minikillers (1969)]

Soft Tempo Lounge

Friday, 9 April 2021

Come on, come on and join us please

The hardressers are permitted to open next week, and I'll be banging on their door!

My last weekend of freedom beckons, and despite the sad news today, we still need to gee ourselves up for a party...

...and who better to assist than three ladies who have no fear about possessing "big hair" - Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a great weekend, peeps!

Farewell, the Grand Old Man

RIP, His Royal Highness The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Earl of Merioneth, Baron Greenwich, Royal Knight of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Extra Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Member of the Order of Merit, Grand Master and First and Principal Knight Grand Cross of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Knight of the Order of Australia, Additional Member of the Order of New Zealand, Extra Companion of the Queen’s Service Order, Royal Chief of the Order of Logohu, Extraordinary Companion of the Order of Canada, Extraordinary Commander of the Order of Military Merit, Lord of Her Majesty’s Most Honourable Privy Council, Privy Councillor of the Queen’s Privy Council for Canada, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty, Lord High Admiral of the United Kingdom.

Thursday, 8 April 2021

Totty of the Season

Gregory Peck (5th April 1916 – 12th June 2003)

Michael Fassbender (born 2nd April 1977)

Duncan James (born 7th April 1978)

Marlon Brando (3rd April 1924 – 1st July 2004)

Miguel Bosé (born 3rd April 1956)

Anthony Perkins (4th April 1932 – 12th September 1992)

John Schneider (born 8th April 1960)

[not-so-] Li'l Nas X (born 9th April 1999)

Dennis Quaid (born 9th April 1954)

Robert Downey Jr. (born 4th April 1965)

John Gavin (8th April 1931 – 9th February 2018)

Wednesday, 7 April 2021

What about elephants?

We're not exactly in Yip Harburg territory here...

Music fan? Ever listened to the lyrics of a song you love and thought ‘wait – what the f**k’? These songs are, on close attention, completely deranged:

Yellow by Coldplay

"I swam across / I jumped across for you / What a thing to do / ’Cause you were all yellow"

Yellow is a hard colour to sell in a love song, associated as it is with piss. Chris Martin gets off to an okay start, saying that stars are yellow, which kind of, and that the song is called Yellow which is tautalogical but accurate. But when he starts hinting his lover might possibly have jaundice, that’s weird.

Earth Song by Michael Jackson

"What about elephants? / Have we lost their trust?"

Lost their trust? Did Jacko borrow a fiver from a pachyderm and not pay it back? In the wider context of a song about perpetual human suffering and a ravaged earth bringing up one specific animal and questioning whether it would still vouch for us is mental even for him.

Buck Rogers by Feeder

"We’ll start over again, / Grow ourselves new skin / Get a house in Devon, / Drink cider from a lemon / But I don’t wanna talk about it anymore"

The lyric that makes most sense is not wanting to talk about it any more, because it’s incomprehensible. Why would you put an apple-based drink in a lemon? Literally any county/food combination would fit better. ‘Get a house in Surrey, drink cider with a curry’. There, you guitar-thrashing muppets.

Happy by Pharrell Williams

"Because I’m happy / Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof"

Having already claimed to be like a "hot-air balloon that could go to space", which is a "no", because of "physics", Pharrell goes on to assert that a roofless room is his happy place. Really? A room where the rain comes in? Where the sun beats down? A room that quite frankly isn’t much of a room at all? And you expect us to clap along?

Stayin’ Alive by The Bee Gees

"Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk / I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk"

Coked-up helium-voiced nonsense. If some twat with a stupid walk asked if you could tell it meant he was a ‘woman’s man’, you’d honestly be left wanting for any possible reply.

Human by The Killers

"Are we human? / Or are we dancer?"

Repeat offenders, because "open up my eager eyes / I’m Mr Brightside" means bugger all when you think about it, this lyric is not only lunatic babbling but ungrammatical. We are human. We are not ‘dancer’. Glad that’s settled.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

I'd humbly add to this list the following embarrassments:

You Gotta Be by Des'ree

“I don’t want to see a ghost/It’s the sight that I fear most/I’d rather have a piece of toast/Watch the evening news”

Rhythm Is A Dancer by Snap

“I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer”

That Was Then But This Is Now by ABC

“More sacrifices than an Aztec priest/Standing here straining at that leash/All fall down/Can’t complain, mustn’t grumble/Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble!”

New Moon on Monday by DuranDuran

"Shake up the picture the lizard mixture/With your dance on the eventide/You got me coming up with answers/All of which I deny"

Your Song by Elton John

"If I was a sculptor/But then again, no/Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show"
Nonsense, each and every one...

Now what are your suggestions, dear reader?

Tuesday, 6 April 2021

Something in my heart told me I must have you

I am still clinging onto the "attempted-meme-that-no-one-actually-bothered-much-about" that Ms Scarlet started then abandoned a while ago - #adecadeago - and so "here's one I made earlier".

Ten years ago on this date, to be precise:

"There’s only 110 pounds of Frank, but there’s ten pounds of cock!" - Ava Gardner

From the BBC today:
An original version of 1951 novel From Here to Eternity is to be reissued digitally, with previously censored references to homosexuality restored. The uncensored version will be made available online from 10 May.

It will include a scene in which Private Angelo Maggio - the character played by singer Frank Sinatra in the film - reveals he is paid to have oral sex with another man.
I thought this appropriate in the circumstances...

Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in your smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Did it ever get published? Did anyone ever read it?

Questions, questions...