Saturday, 11 July 2020

We wake up, we go out, smoke a fag, put it out

Timeslip moment once more...

We've surfaced from Waterworld into the midst of 1995 again - the year of Princess Diana's "there were three people in this marriage" Panorama interview, the Bosnian War, Oasis vs Blur, Nick Leeson and the collapse of Barings Bank, GoldenEye, Windows 95, Steve Fossett, Jacques Chirac, the Sarin gas attack on the Tokyo subway, assassination of Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, Gangsta's Paradise, the conviction of Rose West (and the suicide in prison of Fred West) for the murder of ten women and girls, Russian war in Chechnya, Leah Betts, Muriel's Wedding, Louis Farrakhan, the Schengen Agreement, The Madness of King George, Hugh Grant's arrest with a prostitute, Eduard Shevardnadze, Robbie Williams leaving Take That, Timothy McVeigh and the Oklahoma City bombing, Clueless, OJ Simpson found not guilty of murder, "Mr Darcy", the docking of Space Shuttle Atlantis with the Russian Mir space station, and Pocahontas; the year Dua Lipa, Gigi Hadid, the World Trade Organization (WTO), Timothée Chalamet, Hollyoaks, Troye Sivan, Mumbai (formerly Bombay) and the Sony PlayStation were born; and Kenny Everett, Ginger Rogers, Lana Turner, Donald Pleasence, Peter Cook, Dean Martin, Elizabeth Montgomery, Paul Eddington, Harold Wilson, Sir Michael Hordern, Ida Lupino, Doug McClure, Gerald Durrell, Larry Grayson, James Herriot, Sir Robert Stephens, Burl Ives and Sir Kingsley Amis all died.

In the headlines in July twenty-five years hence: the Srebrenica massacre of of more than 8,000 Bosnian civilians by Serbian forces horrified the world, PM John Major's gamble with calling an election to face-down his critics paid off as he was re-elected leader of the Conservative Party, the world held its breath over the stand-off between the West and Saddam Hussein over Iraqi disarmament, and the massive Hindu temple in Neasden was formally opened; in the ascendant was Aung San Suu Kyi, who was freed from house arrest in Burma, but we bade a fond farewell to the dilettante poet Sir Stephen Spender. In our cinemas: First Knight; Batman Forever; Congo. On telly: Gaytime TV; Stars in Their Eyes; Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious Universe; and the ill-fated L!VE TV (with its "News Bunny", "Topless Darts and "Lunchbox Volleyball") was launched.

And in our charts a quarter of a century ago (gulp)? Outhere Brothers were at #1 with Boom Boom Boom, and also present and correct were a clutch of - ahem - less-than-inspiring artists including Diana King, Robson & Jerome, Reeves & Mortimer and Shaggy, as well as boyband MN8, Techno combo Clock and the legendary Edwyn Collins...

...and this one!

We are young
We run green
Keep our teeth nice and clean
See our friends, see the sights
Feel alright

We wake up, we go out
Smoke a fag, put it out
See our friends, see the sights
Feel alright

Are we like you?
I can't be sure
Of the scene as she turns
We are strange in our worlds

But we are young, we get by
Can't go mad, ain't got time
Sleep around if we like
But we're alright

Got some cash
Bought some wheels
Took it out
'Cross the fields
Lost control, hit a wall
But we're alright

Are we like you?
I can't be sure
Of the scene, as she turns
We are strange in our worlds

But we are young
We run green
Keep our teeth nice and clean
See our friends, see the sights
Feel alright

Twenty-five years? Where did they go?

Friday, 10 July 2020

Jelly time!

A buffet!

Yay! Another weekend beckons and, after one of the wettest, most miserable weeks in ages, the sun is shining. It won't last, but at least it makes the view out of the window a bit nicer.

Speaking of lovely things, darling Jason Orange [the "quiet one" formerly of Take That; centre of pic above] blows out fifty candles on his cake today [gulp!].

That gives us a perfect excuse to get the party started by wallowing in the lithe semi-naked gyrations [they knew their market!] of the UK's most successful (and pretty) boyband, at the very beginning of their triumphal career - and Thank Disco (Jelly?) It's Friday!!

No need to ask me - do what you want!"

Oh, OK then. I will.

Have a good weekend, peeps!

Thursday, 9 July 2020

And me in a suit - well, it just wasn't me

Another bizarrely mismatched selection of notables were born on this day, not least David Hockney, Tom Hanks, Dame Barbara Cartland, Mervyn Peake, Jim Kerr of Simple Minds, Sir Edward Heath, Paul Merton, Courtney Love, Richard Roundtree, Brian Dennehy, Dame Judi's late husband Michael Williams, OJ Simpson, Bon Scott of AC/DC, Kelly McGillis, Lee Hazlewood...

...and our beloved Patron Saint Marc Almond!

Here, by way of a celebration, is one of his more recent (and sadly overlooked by the ungrateful buying public) numbers, the lyrics for which I think are most appropriate:

I've got a redwood heart
Searching for love
I'm not so different to you
I yearn for another
But it's always a stolen romance
But a quick game of chance
A fly by night dance
Or a fling with a criminal lover
So you can give me your red roses
They'll all go straight in the trash can

I live my own life
I'll go my own way
And nothing you say will make me change my mind
I'll sing my own song
I'll bang my own drum
And everyday I'll leave all my worries behind
Leave your name on the door and say goodbye

I've learned how to dance alone
Not to answer the phone
I always make sure I'm just out of reach
Friends ask me to clubs, to parties, to bars
But I'm never around
I just like a nice cup of tea or a walk on the beach
So you can give me your phone number
But be sure I'll never call you

I live my own life
I'll go my own way
And nothing you say will make me change my mind
I'll sing my own song
I'll bang my own drum
And every day I'll leave all my worries behind
Leave your name on the door and say goodbye

...and, of course, another little something from - gulp - 38 years ago!
[I don't even need to post the lyrics to this one - anyone worth their salt knows this song word-for-word already...]

Happy birthday, dear Marc!

Peter Mark Sinclair "Marc" Almond, OBE (born 9th July 1957)

Wednesday, 8 July 2020

A price worth paying

Experts have insisted the current lockdown on the UK music scene must continue to prevent a resurgence of awful rubbish which could spread globally.

Despite anxiety about the economic damage caused by the closure of music venues, analysts say it is a price worth paying until a vaccine is developed to prevent upcoming musicians playing total shite.

Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “We have to recognise the danger that some unlikely, lowest common denominator mediocrity could go viral thanks to the irresponsible attitudes of some music fans.

“Ed Sheeran started playing gigs in Norwich in 2008. With an effective system of local lockdown he could have been stopped from reaching London and the devastating effects of ‘Galway Girl’ would have been prevented altogether.

“Similarly, if suppressed at an early stage we could have avoided Coldplay. Unfortunately it was allowed to flourish unchecked, reaching America and mutating via Gwyneth Paltrow, before going on to spread throughout the world.

“We must be certain that such devastation can never happen again before the British music scene is allowed to resume.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Tuesday, 7 July 2020

Fantastic, indeed

After four months of hell, I finally managed to get my hair cut. Hoorah!

Here's an appropriate song from a very appropriately-named band...

Deep joy.

Monday, 6 July 2020

I try to run and then I hit the heart brake

Grrr - another weekend over. Too soon, too soon...

Never mind, eh? As we gleefully (ahem) enter week sixteen of working from home, on this Tacky Music Monday I have discovered for your delectation, dear reader, an artiste truly deserving of that nomenclature...

Born Isabelle Morizet, Mademoiselle Karen Cheryl (for it is she) was possibly French television's answer to the hyper-energetic (American) Italian Heather Parisi. Certainly, the cheesy safety-gays-heavy dance routines and the dead-behind-the-eyes smile seem eerily familiar:

Phew. That woke me up!

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sunday, 5 July 2020

Ich bin ein Vamp

I still haven't managed to get my hair cut

It's been another weird day, weather-wise - quite a lot of sunshine, but the gales have been so strong we thought another of the horrid weed trees over the back from us was going to come down. Unfortunately it's still standing, blocking out the mid-afternoon light.

Hey ho, between us we managed to get a few jobs done in the garden, as is our wont, so all is not lost. Here's some "Sunday music" to round the day off nicely, courtesy of a lady who we've managed to miss, more's the pity, each time she's appeared in London [maybe next time, eh?] - Melbourne's finest, Melissa Madden Gray aka Meow Meow!

First up, here she is with one of our "house bands" here at Dolores Delargo Towers, Pink Martini:

And, in case anyone were in any doubt about her reputation...


Meow Meow website