Thanks to Google, once-in-a-lifetime spectacles can be seen from the comfort of your phone at any time. Including these.
The Northern Lights
You could go to Norway, freeze your bollocks off, and pay £14 for a hot chocolate in the hope of seeing a natural phenomenon that often occurs in less-glamorous Scotland. But there’s no guarantee of seeing the Lights, as they don’t give a toss what you paid. Do you know where they’re certain to appear? At the click of a button on your phone in high-definition, if you can be bothered to close YouTube.
The Pyramids
Googling the Pyramids offers multiple advantages, such as not having to endure punishing Egyptian heat or a camel ride that causes permanent testicular damage. These ancient tombs have survived millennia of wars, invasions and desert storms, only to be reduced to content you swipe past while watching videos of a cat falling off a sofa and a woman explaining her skincare routine.
The Taj Mahal
A breathtaking monument to eternal love, built by an emperor for his favourite wife. Not to be confused with the local curry house where you took your ex on a Tuesday because it was two-for-one poppadoms. If in doubt, the one that ranks higher on an image search is the one you’re after.
The Grand Canyon
A vast geological wonder that developed over millions of years. Best viewed on a phone, where you can appreciate its immense scale by rotating your device from portrait to landscape. Then you can look at a picture of a dog. Or some breasts. The depraved miracle of the internet truly is another wonder in itself.
Petra
An ancient city carved into rose-red rock in Jordan. Spectacular architecture, extraordinary history, and absolutely no need to negotiate with a taxi driver when viewed on the same device you wank over. You can even post screenshots to social media if you want to trick friends into thinking you’ve visited in person.
Machu Picchu
The lost city of the Incas, perched high in the Andes. Traditionally reached by a gruelling hike, it can now be visited from the sofa, where the only altitude sickness comes from standing up too quickly after three hours of scrolling. Saves you bumping into tedious gap year types taking selfies for dating apps as well.
Of course.
