Thought for the Day

"Old age is no place for sissies" - Bette Davis.

"All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Bette Davis eyes" - Kim Carnes.

She's crazy like a fool

Hurrah! Another light has appeared at the end of another tunnel, as the weekend hoves into view! As we try and crank up the adrenaline in preparation for the start of another weekend, so we call upon The Ultimate Party Band to provide our music...

...and, as we missed lead singer Marcia Barrett's birthday on Thursday, it's even more apt. So let's don our tightest white trousers and inappropriate levels of lurex, shake our tail feathers - and get spinnin' along with Boney M!

Boney M - Daddy Cool

Wild about Daddy Cool, indeed.

Thank Disco It's Friday!

Swinging!

Despite some flashes of sunshine, this blustery day with all its grey clouds is not exactly conducive to a good mood.

Let us instead wallow in the cavorting of swinging young things way back in the mists of time - courtesy of those lovely people over at Soft Tempo Lounge - shall we?

Yeah, baby! Yeah!

Soft Tempo Lounge - Discothèque '68

Ah, that's better.

[Music: Nora Orlandi - Soho]

Of a wych tree, a London legend, a military Ren, gladiator sex, "come play with us", Jonathan the tortoise and a big willy

"The Bendy Tree", a wych elm on the blustery seaside promenade of Newcastle, Northern Ireland, has been named the UK's Tree of the Year 2026

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• Very old steak preserved news: The building that houses London's oldest restaurant, Rules (founded in 1798), has been gifted to the National Trust - which will now be in a position to conserve its vast archives as well as the structure. Specialising in traditional British food [beef, lamb, pies, salmon, cod, potatoes, cheeses and so forth], customers over its long history include Charles Dickens, H.G. Wells, Graham Greene, Charlie Chaplin, Laurence Olivier, John Betjeman, David Bowie, Liza Minnelli, Madonna - and Madam Arcati and I!
• The smallest recruit news: Meet Comando the chihuahua, who has been adopted by the Mexican national guard...

Comando the chihuahua

• Old as the hills news: The world's oldest-known terrestrial animal, an Aldabra giant tortoise named Jonathan estimated to be about 194 years old, may hold clues to longer life, according to scientists.

• Heeere's Johnny! news: Among the items in The Stanley Kubrick Collection going on sale at at Bonham’s in London on 3rd February 2027 are the axe infamously wielded by Jack Nicholson's psychopathic character in The Shining, the original script from Kubrick's 1960 classic Spartacus, the great man's director's chair and, estimated to reach as much as £800,000, the model of a foetus that takes a prominent role at the very end of his 2001: A Space Odyssey. I have my eyes on the dresses worn by the spooky twins at the Overlook Hotel - "Come play with us..." - myself, but I don't think they'd fit either Madam Arcati or I.
• Homoerotic classic news: Remarkably, it is fifty years since Derek Jarman's groundbreaking gay film Sebastiane was released [and promptly banned, no doubt, in many places] - and the anniversary is being held at the cinema that hosted its premiere way back in 1976, The Gate, Notting Hill in London.
• And finally - Big Willy news: It is the centenary today of Willy Alberti, one of Amsterdam's most revered singers, whose repertoire included popular songs in both Italian and Dutch, and even opera! Here's a double-bill, for your delectation:

Willy Alberti - E Lucevan Le Stelle [Puccini: Tosca]

Willy Alberti - Zondag in Amsterdam

And the weather? A bit breezy and a bit cloudy, but still mild for October. Thankfully!

You don’t need to be Christopher Walken to twat an alien with a pneumatic fist

Ever-reliable box office draw Tom Cruise has made a frighteningly expensive flop with recent film Digger because he broke his own Tom Cruise rules:

Don’t get clever
The most complex storytelling we want from a Tom Cruise movie is the bit where he explains how to break into the thing to get the other thing. Digger features genre shifts and a metanarrative. If his audience wanted their brains to hurt, they’d read a book.

Stick to sci-fi, action or sci-fi action
Do we want to see Tom as an amoral hitman? Fucking around in a mask at sex parties? No. He should be punching criminals, killing aliens or operating a cool computer with holograms instead of keys. Ignore that if your PC worked like that you’d be knackered after every Facebook post.

Tom must win
Tom always wins, and in a way that makes the audience happy. Valkyrie wasn’t brilliantly received because those watching it wanted von Stauffenberg to succeed in killing Hitler and win the heart of Eva Braun. They could change the history books if it needs to be a true story,

He should not have a personal life
Tom messed up with his bizarre Oprah couch jump, making it tough not to be distracted in dull moments by stray thoughts like: ‘I wonder what Nicole Kidman really knows about Xenu?’ To prevent further damage to the Tom we know and love he should put in an induced coma between films.

Running must feature
It’s become a joke, but we still want to see Tom running as fast as his little legs will carry him. We don’t pay £10 for the reliable Cruise brand and come away from the cinema feeling disappointed and cheated. We’ve got Ridley Scott movies for that.

He should learn his limits
Tom’s two acting skills are a winning smile and a surprised face with his mouth open, and that’s fine. You don’t need to be Christopher Walken to twat an alien with a pneumatic fist . When he overreaches it turns out badly. It’s impossible to watch Far and Away without coming out hating the Irish for what he did to their accents.

Tom must be the good guy
Tom has played a handful of bad guys, including a vampire, an assassin and a Hollywood producer, and his character in Digger is not a traditional Cruise hero. Audiences hate this. Tom must to stick to playing good guys who are unquestionably on the right side, such as members of the US military.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]

You can have your dreams, but you can't have me

After a tumultous time, health-wise, last week, and a busy weekend retrieving ancient relics stuff from our childhoods from the old family home in Wales, it's time to "face the music" and re-open that bloody laptop to discover what kind of a shit-show faces me on my return to work.

Fuck.

Meanwhile, however, it is the utterly gorgeous Mr Hugh Jackman's birthday today, so after blowing his candle out [wouldn't I just?], on this Tacky Music Monday let us wallow in his superb showbiz talents...

Hugh Jackman - Not the Boy Next Door [The Boy From Oz]

Have a good week, dear reader. I won't.

From the back to the middle and around again

Well, this turned out to be a week I wasn't really expecting, what with the health issue, operation and clinical follow-ups. Needless to say, I have been off work since.

Regardless, a weekend is always something to celebrate - even if it will be a busy one. My sister and I (and History Boy) are off to our old home town of Caerleon in Wales for a short stay. Mother's tenant [for thirty-two years!] in our former family home handed in her notice a few weeks ago, and since the prospective repairs and upgrades needed to modernise the place for future letting are prohibitive, she has decided to sell the house. We're there to welcome several estate agents, a clearance man for the attic, and to generally give the place a bit of a scrub.

We'll be back on Sunday...

Meanwhile, let's get the party started with a double-bill from today's birthday girl, Miss Crystal Waters - and Diolch i Ddisco ei fod yn ddydd Gwener!

Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman (She's Homeless)

Crystal Waters - 100% Pure Love

Have a great weekend, dear reader!