They all want me, they can't have me, so they all come and dance beside me

I've spent a fruitful several hours out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers - in the midst of the UK's fifth heatwave this year! - watering, tidying, and generally getting things prepared for us being away for five days from Thursday. Hopefully it may have cooled down again by then, but you never know...

Throughout the day, I have (inevitably) been accompanied by the ever-reliable BBC Radio 2. However, just now I was jolted out of my reverie when I heard this one playing, and realised that I was listening to Pick of the Pops, and the charts from THIRTY YEARS AGO! Fuck.

Los Del Rio - Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix)

After that shock to the system, I thought - let's add insult to injury, and revisit a whole selection of hits that are of exactly the same vintage...

Underworld - Born Slippy (Nuxx)

Faithless - Insomnia

Gina G - Ooh Aah...Just A Little Bit

Beautiful South - Don't Marry Her (Fuck Me)

Prodigy - Firestarter

Spice Girls - Wannabe

Stretch & Vern presents Maddog - I'm Alive

Babybird - You're Gorgeous

Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's

Three decades?

Sob.

Fascinating rhythm locked me on the groove

Sad news today that the music production genius William Orbit has departed - far too soon, aged just 69 - for the "Ambient Trance Party Lounge" in Fabulon...

His "sound" was unmistakeable - and he gave a boost to the careers of several of our most cherished artists, not least Queen Madge. Here's a selection of faves here at Dolores Delargo Towers, by way of a tribute to his talent!

Bassomatic - Fascinating Rhythm

William Orbit - Barber's Adagio for Strings [Ferry Corsten remix]

All Saints - Pure Shores

Madonna - Frozen

A fantabulosa legacy!

RIP, Mr Orbit.

Tijd voor een feestje

We are in a very celebratory mood here at Dolores Delargo Towers.

It is almost the weekend - as always, that is cause for joy in itself - but this one is particularly special, for come 4pm this afternoon I will not be back in the benighted office for a fortnight!

Once again, my birthday is almost upon us, and next Thursday Madam Arcati, Baby Steve, Houseboy Alex, John-John and I are off to my beloved Amsterdam for five nights of high jinks, merriment, eating FEBO and wandering the grachten. Wonderbaar!

By way of a celebration, here's The Netherlands' finest Queen of Disco herself, Miss Anita Meyer:

Anita Meyer - Why Tell Me Why?

[I think the biggest question here is "Why are they dancing in a swimming pool?"]

Dank disco is het vrijdag!

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FOOTNOTE:

I'm still coming down to earth after seeing the brilliant Spider-Man: Brand New Day on the big screen in Leicester Square with John-John last night. Not just one of the very best Marvel superhero films I have seen, but one of the best films I've seen in ages...

Superhero films never win top Oscars, that much is an established tradition (for some reason or other), but amidst the "biff! pow!" action [and there's no shortage of that!], there's some damned good acting here. It makes the characters more human, and judging by the genuine gasps and murmurs amongst last night's audience (as well as my own reaction), carries some genuinely relatable emotional heft.

Do try and see it, dear reader. It's definitely worth it!

Totty of the Day

John-John and I are off this evening to see the new Spider-Man: Brand New Day!

I'm taking some wet-wipes.

Of venerable gardeners, giant rodents, knickers, jelly blobs and funky jumpsuits - and mayhem!

Phlox paniculata "Blue Boy" is the most magnificently-scented bloom in the gardens at the moment - even outdoing our Nicotiana sylvestris..!

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• National treasure news: The much-revered Geoff Hamilton, host of BBC Gardener's World for seventeen years through the late 70s, the 80s and early 90s, died 30 years ago this week (and would have been 90 years old next weekend). Needless to say, the show he presented for so long had a rather good tribute to him by current co-presenter and Chelsea-winning garden designer Adam Frost - himself once Geoff's apprentice - and we also watched another special programme Monty Don Remembers... Geoff Hamilton just the other day. Here's the man himself in action:

Geoff Hamilton & Ann Swithinbank's gardening tips (1980s)

• Order, order! news: A Brazilian legislative assembly was rudely interrupted - by a group of capybaras! Beats bloody "Just Stop Oil" protesters throwing orange powder, I suppose...
• Naughty knickers, shock! horror! news: Middle England has been clutching its pearls in shock at the news that the high street's most reliable, middle-of-the road store Marks & Spencer has started selling crotchless panties from a range by sex shop Ann Summers! Whatever next - poppers on sale in the "ready-meal" aisle?
• Don't eat the jelly! news: Thousands of bright electric blue sea creatures, thought to be "sea rafts" - related to the Portuguese Man'o'War but not as deadly - have been blown off-course from their usual tropical warm sea habitat, and washed up on a beach in Cumbria in northern England!
• And finally: RIP, David Z. Who? I hear you ask. Not only was he the principal studio engineer whose work transformed the early recording career of Prince (and was credited for creating the sound that launched the Purple One to mega-success), not only did he produce the magnificent She Drives Me Crazy for Fine Young Cannibals (which broke the band in the US, hitting #1 over there)... he was also one of the geniuses behind THIS!

Lipps, Inc. - Funkytown

And the weather? Still dry, not as hot as it has been - but so incredibly blustery I came home to find a whole branch of the bastard weed tree had snapped off and landed on top of the plants at the top of the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers! Not much damage done, thank goodness, and The Madam's chopped it up and thrown it over next-door where it belongs [they're actually away, thank gawd, so we have some peace]!

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FOOTNOTE:

Mayhem, Lesson 1 to 6 - incriminating evidence from Hils' 60th birthday party!

In case you were wondering what we were all staggering about dancing to - it's this!

DelaDap - Georgian Lesson 1-6

It truly wouldn't be one of our parties without it...

Why drink water when a freshly-brewed pot of Tetley’s is available?

Britain's grandmothers are concerned repeated heatwaves are tempting the foolish towards unhealthy chilled drinks and away from traditional scalding beverages.

Our wise elders have warned the country that even in 33-degree temperatures, they should remember the best way to cool down is with a big mug of nice hot tea.

Grandmother of eight Margaret Gerving said: “Hydrating? My grandfather served 22 years in the British Raj, and he never hydrated once. He stuck to hot tea.

“I’m all for this keeping curtains and windows closed all day, though I don’t hold with this opening them at night. But why drink water when a freshly-brewed pot of Tetley’s is available? That’s quenching.

“We had summers twice as hot as this, popping tar bubbles and frying eggs in them, and the kettle was never off. Tea heats up the body which has a cooling effect, it’s common sense proved by top scientists like Heinz Wolff.

“Tea is the most suitable drink to consume in all weathers and for all occasions. If you’re fancy you can have coffee. Either way, remember the golden rule and keep it piping. Also, for lunch, think about a stew.”

Grandson Kayden Gerving said: “When I die I go to heaven, for I have already served my time in hell sipping tea at my nan’s house in 44 degree temperatures. With 'Tipping Point' on.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Of Witches and Tricycles

The Witches of Eastwick! [click to embiggen]

On this day in history: "in fourteen hundred and ninety-two Columbus sailed the ocean blue", setting off from Spain with three ships on his way to make his ground-breaking "discovery" of the Americas; in 1778 La Scala opera house opened in Milan; in 1858 the source of the Nile (Lake Victoria) was discovered; in 1914 Germany declared war on France; in 1936 Jesse Owens gave Hitler's "master-race" ideals a kicking by winning the first of four gold medals at the Berlin Olympics... and, in 1966, my sister was born!

When my father woke me on that fateful day (I was three years old), he said "We've got you an early birthday present. It's a baby sister.". I cried, and said "I wanted a tricycle!"

In tribute to my 60 years of resentment, here's an appropriate song - and the tackiest choice for a Tacky Music Monday in ages. I dedicate it to Hils...

TuTiTu - Tricycle Song

My ears hurt.

Have a good week, dear reader.

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STOP PRESS, 12.23am:

My last few posts arrived in the Blogger Reading List practically as soon as I pressed the "publish" button. Thus, it remains a mystery why this particular one has completely failed to do so, ELEVEN HOURS later. Bastard Google Gnomes!

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STOP PRESS #2, 9.20am:

It still hasn't shown up. Arseholes.