Fa-fa-fashion

The Madam and I are off to see the much-vaunted Schiaparelli: Fashion Becomes Art exhibition at the V&A this afternoon!

I fully expect to return wearing a lobster, a hat in the shape of a shoe, or "a thing that isn't a thing"...

---

STOP PRESS:

Before I left this morning, I was trying to find a particular verse from which that final line came, to no avail - not only is that new "A.I. Google" really annoying, it's also a crock of shit that doesn't actually find anything you're looking for.

I located it in a book (remember them?!) called Camp: The Lie That Tells The Truth:

On the pale yellow sands
There's a pair of clasped hands
And and eye-ball entangled in string,
And a piece of raw meat
And a bicycle seat
And a thing that isn't a thing.
- William Plomer - "A recipe for a Surrealist picture"

Keep on keepin' on

Nearly there... Another tedious week is behind us (and this was a short one because of the Bank Holiday Monday, but doesn't feel like it).

Without further ado, let's get ourselves into the party mood for the weekend with birthday boy Merald Woodlow "Bubba" Knight Jr. and his chums, a-twirling and a-gyrating in support of his baby sister Gladys - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Gladys Knight and the Pips - I've Got to Use My Imagination

All my life, all I ever wanted was to be a Pip.

Have a great weekend, folks!

---

FOOTNOTE:

There is a major issue today - to add to all its other woes - with the ability to post comments on Blogger blogs. No-one can get any further than the "Publishing.." message! I have seen forums where this has been discussed, and it appears to be worldwide.

The bloody Google gnomes need to pull ther fingers out and fix it quickly!

But they won't, of course...

Of diamonds, New Romantics, weird science, embroidery, octopi, a feminist icon and Pop Looks Bach

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• It wasn't me, Guv! news: Thieves have stolen a stunning 200-carat platinum necklace [above] encrusted with 673 diamonds, that once belonged to Queen Consort Nazli of Egypt, from a museum in Vienna. I could wear that!
• "No-no-Notorious" news: Royal Mail will issue a special set of stamps celebrating Duran Duran on 17th September. The collection features the band at different stages of their career, tracing their progression from early New Romantic origins to global chart success. I always fancied licking John Taylor, back in the day...
• How old is a kiss, and a splashback-free urinal news: This year's winners of the "coveted" (satirical) Ig Noble Prize have been announced, and winning research papers' subjects include Neanderthals kissing, a new design of urinal, the aerodynamics of nose blowing, and evidence that those in higher social classes are more likely to steal sweets from a child. So much more fun than the "real" Nobels...

[click any pic to embiggen]

• It's actually an embroidery! news: The much-hyped loan of the Bayeux Tapestry from France to the British Museum is finally here - its unveiling in situ was conducted by HM The King, the new PM and various notables as well as the press last night - and doors open to the first raft of ticket-holders tomorrow. Thanks to the brother-in-law The History Boy, we have ours booked (for December) - and it is already predicted to be the most popular exhibition in recent British history!
• RIP Gloria Steinem, doyenne of the feminist movement, who has burned her very last bra and departed, aged 92.
• Nature's way news: Italy has recruited an army of octopus into its waters to try and control the invasive blue crab, and Spain is thinking of following in its footsteps ["tentacle-steps", perhaps?]. Expect a glut of Pulpo Frito on the Costas once the octopus start to get out of control..!
• And finally: Farewell to the long-running BBC TV show Ski Sunday - and, in particular, to its absolutely unforgettable theme music!

Ski Sunday theme ["Pop Looks Bach"]

And the weather? "Up and down like a whore's drawers" again...

...We've had some heavy showers this week. Yesterday felt quite chilly. Today - despite the strong gusts - it was warm and quite humid. Unless we get an "Indian Summer", however, sadly I think it's "goodbye to all that". The "Season of Death" is just around the corner...

Never seen a a marrow quite as big as that

David Beckham is apparently an avid gardener and keeper of chickens. He explains how to produce prize courgettes by digging in manure yourself, like he definitely does:

Learn the correct techniques
Want to grow the perfect carrot? Then don’t skimp on raw materials. Waitrose does some terrific ones. Pop them in soil back at your allotment, unearth them and they’re perfect for Instagram. Don’t make the mistake of ‘planting seeds’ and ‘nurturing’ them – the Class of 92 was a one-off thing.

Employ an allotment PA
Yeah, an allotment that’s south-facing with good quality soil is useful, but it’s crucial to employ a full-time personal gardening assistant. They’ll do the physical work – which is all of it – or source local gardeners who can pitch in when you’re in Los Angeles. Ensure they’re not too attractive. I speak from experience.

Pick crops that will flourish on social media
Avoid things like runner beans, because even if they grow well and taste great they’re boring and won’t get clicks. Instead opt for vegetables that might grow into rude shapes. I’d recommend courgettes or pumpkins, which can end up as hilariously misshapen as Paul Scholes’s dong. As you become more skilled, try to raise radishes with vaginas.

Cultivate a bullshit narrative
To maximise the publicity you’ll need an angle the media can run with, such as ‘Victoria shocked by size of David’s marrow’. Obviously she wasn’t because she’s seen a marrow before and is aware of their size, but regular press coverage keeps the brand healthy.

Preserve surplus produce
Even tending a small allotment can result in a glut of fruit or vegetables you’re unable to eat, so buy glass jars and read up on pickling techniques to avoid wasting them. And having a stock of nasty vinegary vegetables in jars means you’ve always got gifts for those you don’t like, such as your son and his heiress wife.

Put the time in
People often ask me how I find time to garden when I’m watching World Cup games or at Wimbledon, and the truth is I don’t. But I remain enough of an icon to get my face in magazines worldwide even for pretending I do, and for me that sweet, homegrown publicity makes it all worthwhile.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

---

STOP PRESS, 13.25pm

The bloody Google gnomes are at it again! Neither yesterday's post (from just after 1pm), nor this one (from 7.40am) have shown up in the Blogger Reading List yet.

Bastards.

Alive or Illusion?

Sharing the day with another panoply of notables such as Gloria Estefan, Lily Tomlin, Yvonne De Carlo, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Johann Pachelbel, Archie Bell, Violet Carson, Steve Pemberton, Engelbert Humperdinck [the composer, not the singer], Leonard Slatkin, Rocky Marciano, Art Pepper, Marvel Comics illustrator Gene Colan [whose centenary it is today], Bruce Foxton of The Jam, Cecil Parkinson, Babydaddy of Scissor Sisters [50 today], Ruud Gullit, Conway Twitty, Boxcar Willie, Craig McLachlan and Zendaya...

...it's the "last of the Bee Gees" Mr Barry Gibb's - gulp! - 80th birthday today!

We know the Brothers Gibb were utter musical geniuses, not only for their long career of mega-hits, including the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, Tragedy, You Win Again and much much more besides, but also their work with other hit-makers, from Miss Warwick to MegaBabs to Dolly to to Miss Ross.

I wonder what they would make of this..?

Bee Gees vs Imagination - Alive or Illusion (KillerCut Mashup)

I love it!

Be Better, or Fackham!

A great time was had by all at our Film Club gathering yesterday! Between the nine of us, we brought far too much food as usual for the "picnic-substitute" buffet, but kept The Perseverance bar going strong - at times our gang upstairs in the function room were practically the only customers they had, but we're all pretty good session drinkers...

And the films on offer were both unexpectedly superb, too! First up was one I've wanted to see for ages - the autobiographic portrayal of the often-traumatic rise to fame of "national treasure" Robbie Williams, formerly of Take That:

A Better Man - Rock DJ

I certainly wasn't expecting it to be as brilliantly done, nor quite such an emotional rollercoaster, as it was!

Our second film was one I had very little knowledge or expectation of. Described by critics as "Downton Abbey meets The Naked Gun," we were all pleasantly surprised - it was utterly hilarious!

Fackham Hall trailer

Just what the doctor ordered.

Despite the fact that it is a Bank Holiday, I haven't forgotten that it is a Tacky Music Monday - so how about the very brief-but-faboo "musical soiree" from that very movie?

Have a good week, dear reader - dodge the showers...

Today's itinerary

Not this...

...but more this!

Yep, thanks to the showery Bank Holiday Weekend weather, our much-loved Grand Annual Picnic has had to be cancelled in favour of gathering at The Perseverance pub in Bloomsbury/Holborn for an all-day Film Club...

Science Fiction Double Feature Picture Show [Rocky Horror Picture Show]

Should be fun!