What We Do in the Shadows

Benoît Prévot (b. 1968)

Of diamonds, cult cinema, Punk, Pooh, priest, sailors and a diva duet

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• A girl's queen's best friend news: The utterly gorgeous nine-carat Grand Condé Pink Diamond [pictured above] - a rare survivor from the former French ruling dynasty the House of Bourbon - has gone on display in the Château de Chantilly, north of Paris, for the first time since it was stolen a century ago. The gem was recovered soon afterwards - when a chambermaid at the thieves' getaway hotel bit into an apple, in the core of which the diamond was hidden! - but a replica has been on display ever since. It would match some of my outfits perfectly...
• Sing-a-long-a-salvation news: The cult favourite Prince Charles Cinema off Leicester Square - the West End's home of art-house and cult films, as well as sing-a-long versions of The Sound of Music and The Rocky Horror Picture Show - has been saved from closure and redevelopment by its landlord after a two-year campaign that included a 170,000-strong petition, massive publicity, and a listing by Westminster Council, culminating in a new 25-year lease. Let's do The Time Warp again, indeed!
• 'You have to destroy in order to create' news: A new exhibition coming to our beloved V&A Museum next year is Punk to Pop: Celebrating the creative explosion across music and fashion from 1972–85. From its promo material, it is described as "Bringing together around 300 objects, the show follows this trajectory from the confrontational aesthetics of punk's earliest years through to the polished, technologically-driven pop image-making that followed, tracing continuities as well as ruptures between the two moments." We'll be the judge of that... The exhibition opens on 13th March 2027.

• A Silly (very) Old Bear news: That worldwide favourite children's character Winnie The Pooh celebrated his centenary (of the first publication of AA Milne's book) this month. Tributes on offer include a series of themed programmes broadcast on BBC Radio 4, the inevitable official merchandise - and a set of Royal Mail stamps. Scrub all thoughts of "licking pooh" from your filthy minds, immediately!
• Judgement day? news: A Catholic priest was killed when a wooden crucifix fell on him during livestreamed mass in Ecuador. Ironically, his theme was a reflection on the fleeting nature of human life.

• And finally: Happy Trafalgar Day! Our Patron Saints Mitzi and Ethel know the perfect song to lead the celebrations...

Ethel Merman and Mitzi Gaynor - A Sailor's Not a Sailor (Till a Sailor's Been Tattooed)

And the weather? It absolutely pissed it down all day here. Yuk.

It would have French people taking to the street to overturn bins

The French have a lower retirement age and free universities because they’re not afraid to set a shop on fire. They would riot over any one of these British shit-sandwiches:

Southern Rail
The disgrace of Southern Rail’s late-running, extortionate service is so monumental that Britain simply cannot confront it. A Frenchman experiencing its knackered rolling stock would head straight to Whitehall with a can of petrol. Thankfully they’ve been deterred from visiting and witnessing our national disgrace by centuries of simmering hostility.

Meal deals
If you’re confused as to why the paprika crisps shelved right next to the sandwiches aren’t included in your lunchtime meal deal, think of our continental neighbours. If they were told the items in their hands were not part of the deal, the till would be through the window in moments and Boots awash with tear gas before ten minutes had passed.

Porn age-verification checks
Erotic imagery is every Frenchman’s God-given right. Every trip to the boulangerie, patisserie or tabac is enlivened by seeing at least five tits. The thought of scanning your face to gaze upon a fanny? Their reflex for writing angry signs would kick in. They’d sooner surrender to the Nazis again than give up easy access to female nudity.

Axing the triple lock
Thanks to organised violence, the French people have kept their retirement age down to 64. And that’s after a lifetime of toiling through four-day weeks with two-hour lunches. Threatening the triple lock would be good for at least one head-of-state decapitation and a fortnight of looting, if our shite high streets had anything they’d want to steal.

Oat milk
Our calling the crap we cook ‘food’ has enraged our Gallic neighbours for decades, but at least it came from solid animal-cruel sources. To make milk, milk which masquerades as being from the cow, from oats? Paris would be in flames before the furiously-discarded disposable coffee cup had hit the cobbles.

Comparative lack of riots
Traditionally, the UK holds riots during the summer. This alone would have French people taking to the street to overturn bins. ‘No riots?’ they would cry, ‘But then how can this be called a functioning democracy? We riot… for the riots!’ Not that you’ll understand, because your entire knowledge of French is ‘Hello, my name is John, thank you.’

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Ella vive de amores prohibidos

Sigh. Here we go again...

The skies may have cleared this morning, but everything in the garden's looking rather sodden after last night's downpours.

Hey ho - it is a Tacky Music Monday, after all. And, sharing a birthday today (as she does) with another odd assortment including Divine, John le Carré, George McCrae, Sir Michael Gambon, Auguste Lumière, Jennifer Holliday, Simon Ward, Philip Pullman, Gloria Jones, John Lithgow, Peter Tosh, Mavis Nicholson, Bernard Hepton and Sinitta, is one of our fave camp divas to bring some much-needed cheer into our lives!

Veronica Castro - Macumba

"Ella vive de amores prohibidos
Porque dice son más divertidos"

Which translates as:

"She lives on forbidden loves
Because she says they are more fun"

Indeed!

Have a good week, dear reader.

So Easy

A view up my back passage today - not bad for mid-October! [click to embiggen]

After a sunny start, today has turned to rain again - and it's getting colder, to boot. Dammit!

I think a little "Sunday music", courtesy of our house band is in order, don't you?

Postmodern Jukebox feat. Tatum Langley - So Easy (To Fall in Love) [1940s-style Olivia Dean cover]

I never even knew the original, but needless to say, this is better!

We love Postmodern Jukebox.

Thought for the Day

"Old age is no place for sissies" - Bette Davis.

"All the boys think she's a spy, she's got Bette Davis eyes" - Kim Carnes.

She's crazy like a fool

Hurrah! Another light has appeared at the end of another tunnel, as the weekend hoves into view! As we try and crank up the adrenaline in preparation for the start of another weekend, so we call upon The Ultimate Party Band to provide our music...

...and, as we missed lead singer Marcia Barrett's birthday on Thursday, it's even more apt. So let's don our tightest white trousers and inappropriate levels of lurex, shake our tail feathers - and get spinnin' along with Boney M!

Boney M - Daddy Cool

Wild about Daddy Cool, indeed.

Thank Disco It's Friday!