We wuz robbed, #976 in a series

Yes, yet again we had a marvellous "gathering of the clans" for our Eurovision Song Contest party on Saturday. We cheered, we booed, we gave points, we drank, and the buffet I prepared (with additions from guests, all of whom were allocated to bring food from one country, booze from another, and a country to support) was polished-off nicely over five hours...

...and yet again, the UK was dealt a crushing blow as our valiant entry Look Mum No Computer [see here for his song Eins, Zwei, Drei] received the grand total of one solitary point [from the Ukraine jury], coming last! Even if his song divided opinion [even among our little gang - some of us (myself included) loved it, others loathed it], it didn't deserve to receive no points at all from audience votes.

Sigh.

Our gang, as always, pulled out all the stops with their costumes...

l-r from top row: Madam Arcati: France, me: host/UK, Lou: Lithuania, John-John: Greece, Houseboy Alex: Germany, Baby Steve: Italy, Joe: Belgium, Russ: Malta, Crog: Australia, Hils: Finland]

John-John, Eurovision fanboy as he is, prepared our scorecards and a spreadsheet(!) for capturing them once marked. That's always a fun part of the party - being bitchy about naff acts - and it's also interesting to compare our consensus with the final scores at the "real" contest.

But, before the voting stage, there was a rather faboo interval, that featured previous contestants, some of them winners of the contest, covering some of the most notable winners over the years. Fancy hearing the eternally youthful Alexander Rybak sing Sir Cliff's Congratulations? Verka Serduchka doing Puppet On A String? Goth-metallists Lordi performing Save All Your Kisses For Me? Ruslana belting Euphoria? Or the assembled talents of the aforementioned, together with more recent entrants like Erika Vikman, Kristian Kostov and Miriana Conte on Waterloo? Now's your chance:

Celebration! Eurovision at 70 (Grand Final Interval, Eurovision 2026)

After the dust had settled after that, and John-John and I had filled all the points in on the spreadsheet, the Top Five scores from the Dolores Delargo Towers Jury were:

#1:

Jonas Lovv - YA YA YA (Norway, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#2:

Monroe - Regarde! (France, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#3: Bulgaria [more on that in a mo]

#4:

Akylas - Ferto (Greece, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

#5:

Linda Lampenius x Pete Parkkonen - Liekinheitin (Finland, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

The final, final official results of the combined Eurovision juries and audience scores were a bit different:

Bulgaria has not won the Eurovision Song Contest since making its debut in 2005 - but this was indeed a fabulous performance of a rather good choon, and a well-deserved winner, for a change!

Dara - Bangaranga (Bulgaria, Eurovision 2026)

[Click here for the official video]

It was an utterly faboo evening, disappointments or otherwise!

Same time, same place, next year?

YOU BET!!

Eurovision round-up from the BBC

‘I haven’t had a loo break since 2009!’ The truth about Eurovision – as told by its biggest icons [The Guardian]

¡No quiero verte, vete!

Nooooooooo!

Another lovely break is over and, for the first time in seventeen days, I have to open that bloody laptop and re-enter the ever-delightful world of work.

To add insult to injury, the nasty cold, dank greyness that has held sway the whole time since we returned from holiday is due to break midweek, and we'll have proper warm weather for this time of year, maybe even a heatwave - while I am in the office!

Sigh.

Never mind eh? It is a Tacky Music Monday, and, with memories of Spain fading from our minds almost as quickly as our tans - ¡Dios mío! - have I found a corker from that country, for your delectation, dear reader... Enjoy!

Los Amaya - Vete

Have a good week. I won't!!

Music and passion were always the fashion

Still coming down to earth after our fantabulousa Eurovision Song Contest party last night - I finally got to bed after 4am! - and still reeling from the UK entry's disappointing performance [more on that later, no doubt], there is only one thing that can help me now.

As two weeks of hedonism draw inevitably to a close, and I steel myself for "back-to-work-time" tomorrow - our "house band" has come up with the goods! Again...

Postmodern Jukebox feat. Tatum Langley - Copacabana (Barry Manilow cover)

We love Postmodern Jukebox!

It's Eurovision time!

Yes, indeed - "The Gay World Cup" is upon us...

Let the madness commence!

Meanwhile, in a discotheque in Bosnia-Herzegovina...

It's been a busy old week, dear reader. Despite having the old "post-holiday blues" after a splendid week in Spain, and despite the shit weather, I haven't really stopped! Rearranging the garden, a bit of shopping here, a bit of sorting and tidying the house there, and there's still loads to do - but hey ho! We do indeed have "the party of the year", the "Gay World Cup", our annual Eurovision Song Contest party tomorrow - and a houseful of guests in ridiculous costumes are, as ever, expected.

So, to get the celebrations going, here's an old stalwart - the 2004 entry from Bosnia-Herzegovina, in all its campery.

Thank Disco It's Eurovision Eve Friday!

DEEN - In The Disco

Have a good weekend, peeps, whether you're planning to watch the Euro-madness of the world's longest-running and biggest music event or not...

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FOOTNOTE:

It seems the Google gnomes are still being bastards, as yesterday's post took seven hours to appear in the Reading List. I think we need to mount a coup...

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FOOTNOTE UPDATE:

This post was set to publish at 9am this morning. It is now 11pm, and it's still not in the Reading List!! Is this some kind of sabotage effort by the Google gnomes to piss us all off so we end up moving to the (evidently hellish, according to some) world of Wordpress? It reminds me of the dying days of MySpace, all over again.

Sigh.

Of Eric, Grace, Bonnie, Bobby and Alison

Morecambe & Wise and the tribute statue to Eric in his home town Morecambe, after which he took his stage name. [click any pic to embiggen]

It's another snippets post today, dear reader:

• National treasure news: It's the centenary today of one of Britain's most beloved comedians, Eric Morecambe, "the funny half" of the prime-time-TV staples Morecambe and Wise. He was a phenomenon, and their popularity led to an endless stream of top guests, including one soon-to-be-Dame:

Morecambe & Wise - Shirley Bassey:

• Where does time go? news: Over at the superb Bitterness Personified blog, Mr Graham Russell reminds us that we're all getting old - it is 45 years since Grace Jones' magnum opus the album Nightclubbing was released! Gulp.

Grace Jones - I've Seen That Face Before (Libertango)

• It's a Heartache news: The legendary Bonnie Tyler is "seriously ill but stable" after undergoing emergency surgery in Portugal, where she has a home. Get well soon, darling!

Bonnie Tyler - Holding Out For a Hero

• Ol' Mackie news: It's ninety years since the great swinger Walden Robert Cassotto, better known as Bobby Darin was born!

Bobby Darin - Mack the Knife

• And finally: The utterly faboo Miss Alison Goldfrapp was 60 years old yesterday! Another gulp.

Goldfrapp - Strict Machine

And the weather? Up and down like a whore's drawers again, dear reader - one minute brilliant sunshine, the next black skies, rain and even thunder. Britain, Britain, Britain.

A Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall

All that positive hantavirus publicity got you thinking of booking a cruise? Before you set sail like a carefree, ocean-going Zack Polanski, consider these reasons not to:

The passengers
You’re trapped with them. Vacuous, boring bastards in pink polo shirts with wives in their 50s made up to be in their 20s. There’s no escaping the twat who’s immensely proud of setting up the most successful tyre supply business in East Renfrewshire, not on this trip, and keelhauling is sadly outlawed.

The food
Food is included in the price, or the permanent buffet of shite in the prison-like canteen is. They make it as tasteless as possible to drive you to pay for meals in the very costly restaurants. And if you want a drink? You’ll be ordering it from the barman on every single occasion you need liquid. Yes, there will be a queue.

The entertainment
No entertainer worthy of the name would sign up for three months in a windowless cabin at sea. Plenty of entertainers not worthy of the name will. Given an audience of tossers who believe an Elvis impersonator who can instantly switch to Robbie Williams is astonishing, they will pander to them. Night after night. And you’ll be there because that’s where the gin is.

Seasickness
Seas get rough, and once your lavishly-appointed ship runs into a storm and begins lurching around like a drunken hippo with labyrinthitis everyone will be throwing up. You’ll be confined to your cabin and timing vomiting to when the toilet isn’t slopping water all over the bathroom floor you’re kneeling on.

Viruses
And that’s when the metal container you’re locked in with thousands of strangers doesn’t become an incubator for an exciting new virus, keen to work its magic in this Petri-dish with hot tubs and a climbing wall. All while many, many nautical miles from the nearest hospital. You begin to realise why ghost ships were such a frequent phenomenon.

The stops on land
After what feels like months trapped at sea but has actually been three days, you get the chance to escape. Bliss. Three hours in the most touristy harbours the world has to offer, where every shop is geared to selling you expensive jewellery you won’t notice the flaws of until you’re back on board your floating prison with that twat from the tyre business again.

The Daily Mash

Of course.