Saturday, 21 March 2026

Licenced to thrill

Possessed of one of the most seductive speaking voices in acting history, the lovely Timothy Dalton is - gulp - 80 years old today!

In his long and enviable career, Mr Dalton has played alongside most of the greats of theatre and movies - Peter O'Toole, Katharine Hepburn and Anthony Hopkins in The Lion in Winter, Richard Harris, Alec Guinness, Robert Morley, Charles Gray, Dorothy Tutin, Hugh Griffiths, Harry Andrews, Vanessa Redgrave and Glenda Jackson amongst them.

Another in a long line of Welsh acting maestros, with his piercing green eyes and 6ft 2" frame Timothy Dalton has always been a commanding (and extremely sexy) figure on screen. I had a major crush on him for years...

Just check out his debut screen performance:

Of course, the most lucrative role in his four-decade career, and the one for which he is likely to be most remembered worldwide, is his stint as James Bond in the 80s. Licence to Kill was one of the best of the series, as a result:

Inevitably, there are always some less salubrious points in any actor's career. Here are a couple of them...

Many happy returns, Timothy Leonard Dalton Leggett (born 21st March 1946)!

Friday, 20 March 2026

Totally at your whim


"If I ruled the world, every day would be the first day of Spring..."

Hoorah! The weekend's almost upon us - and, for a change a) we have no events, exhibitions, parties or anything planned; and b) the forecast is for more sunshine!

I think a little celebration is in order - and since it happened to have been the (gulp) 80th birthday yesterday of the sole surviving Pointer Sister, Ruth Pointer, let's give the girls the spotlight to shimmy in, and...

...Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

Thursday, 19 March 2026

Of a bonk-buster queen, floral vibrators, a radio legend, reincarnated Daleks, snake oil, a cuddly rat and wife-carrying


I'm very sad to discover that the very lovely Lauren Henderson aka "Rebecca Chance", doyenne of the "bonk-buster", Polari stalwart, raconteur and very funny lady has departed for Fabulon, aged just 59. A great loss. RIP.

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

  • Catch that buzz news: Attendees at this year's Royal Horticultural Society Chelsea Flower Show (from 19th to 23rd May) may be in for a double shock - there will be a sex-themed garden on show sponsored by a company that sells vibrators(!) and the "ban on garden gnomes" has been lifted. Not sure which is going to cause the most uproar amongst the blue-rinse brigade!
  • Another sad departure news: The utterly faboo Liza Tarbuck, host of our absolute favourite Radio 2 show every Saturday, is leaving after 14 years at the helm. Nobody understands quite why, least of all Michael Hogan in The Telegraph, who wrote:
    The funniest show on British radio is no more. News that the unfailingly hilarious Liza Tarbuck has left her Saturday evening programme on Radio 2 after 14 glorious years has left listeners distraught and colleagues stunned. The talent exodus from BBC radio in recent years has been worrying enough. Tarbuck’s exit represents another nail in the coffin... there remains an air of mystery around the reasons for Tarbuck’s typically unconventional departure, which seems to have blind-sided bosses. Had the 61-year-old broadcaster fallen foul of BBC management? Are rumblings of ageism relevant? Does that enigmatic line, “imagine what else we could do”, tease a surprise new chapter for this maverick talent? There are few clues at this stage.

    ... Since 2012, Tarbuck’s joyous blend of eclectic songs and freewheeling chat sound-tracked listeners’ Saturday sundowners, supper-making or domestic pottering... So how did a weekly gossip session, helmed by a self-effacing midlife woman, become appointment listening for so many? It was all down to the riotous brand of mayhem and mirth that Tarbuck created. It’s not hyperbole to describe her as one of our last radio geniuses. This is why her loss to the national airwaves is so deeply sad. If the Corporation can’t retain such one-off broadcasters, we all suffer.

  • Exterminate!? - not quite - news: Two lost episodes of Doctor Who featuring old foes the Daleks, unseen since airing in the 1960s have been discovered in a cardboard box belonging to a deceased film aficionado - and one of the co-stars (alongside the First Doctor William Hartnell) of that early series, the [gulp!] 87-year-old Peter Purves was treated to a surprise showing at the premiere of the restored archives at a cinema in Leicester, where they were found. Regeneration, indeed.
  • Snake oil news: Want to lose weight? Try ingesting extract of python! There's no mention of side-effects. A sudden craving for live mice, perhaps?
  • G'Day, Possum! news: A real, live possum startled shop staff when they discovered it hiding amongst the stuffed toys on display at the main airport in Tasmania, Australia. Beats bloody Labubu dolls, hands down!
  • And finally: A Finnish couple won a barrel of local ale after finishing first in the the annual UK Wife Carrying Race! I said Dorking was a strange place...

And the weather? Bloody lovely - just in time for the Spring Equinox tomorrow!

Wednesday, 18 March 2026

Both at the same time!

An outbreak of decent weather has inspired truly heartbreaking levels of joy across the UK.

With temperatures bordering on the pleasant, Britons are scampering in circles like over-enthusiastic termites, hardly knowing what to do with themselves.

Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “I’ve bought a straw hat and a Summer Fruits Oasis in anticipation of the first beam of sunlight penetrating the dense wall of grey cloud which has been overhead for five months.

“Let me just check out the window. Here it comes. Oh my.”

Office worker Tom Logan added: “It’s warm and sunny! Not just warm or sunny, but both at the same time.

“I’m going to eat my lunch outside with my sleeves rolled up to my elbows. And you can’t get much better than that.

“Everything’s going to be alright forever.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" news]

Tuesday, 17 March 2026

A marvellous party - S'Wonderful!

What a lovely weekend we had in "The Home of the Cock", Dorking, to celebrate the entry into dotage of our old, old, old friend Lou!

Madam Arcati and I had eschewed the preferred choice of a Travelodge, where a few of the gang stayed, in favour of the rather lovely White Horse Inn slap bang in the centre of the old town [as had John-John] - and we were very glad we did, as the room was lovely and quiet, the bed was the most comfortable we'd ever slept on, the shower was brilliant (as were the towels) and, had we only managed to get the mysteriously gadgety coffee machine to work in the morning, it would rate as the most enjoyable hotel stay we've had in years.

By the nature of its location, it also became the de facto watering-hole for the "gathering of the clans". As we did, before trolling off to the birthday girl's party venue down the road.

She certainly seems to know everyone in town, as the place was packed! Just as well, as someone needed to eat the completely OTT cheese buffet:

A good time was had by all. We were there to the bitter end, by which time we'd drunk the bar dry!

However, the fun didn't end there...


...for on Sunday, after having been unceremoniously roused from my slumber in order to yomp up a hill and join the remains of the gang [several had already headed home] for breakfast [all I really wanted was a gallon of coffee, tbh, but I managed to eat a few solids], and after a few "hairs of the dog" back in the White Horse, we had a matinee to go to at the faboo Dorking Halls - for 100 Years of Big Bands with the LP Swing Orchestra!

“Swing, sophistication and sass. The ultimate orchestra with an unrivalled sound.” - Dame Joan Collins

In its thirty-five year history, the 17-piece Len Phillips Big Band has played numerous prestigious venues, large (The Royal Albert Hall, The Ritz) and small (they have a long-standing residency with Warner Hotels), and collaborated with numerous famous names including the Puppini Sisters, Clare Teal, Joe Stilgoe, Gary Wilmot, Len Goodman, Paul Jones and Mica Paris. In 2021, the band rebranded and updated to become the LP Swing Orchestra.

Joining them, and their multi-talented MC, conductor, cornetist and occasional vocalist Georgina Jackson were two very splendid vocalists...

Matt Ford, famous for his appearances on BBC Radio 3's Friday Night is Music Night, and his work with the Syd Lawrence Orchestra, the John Wilson Orchestra (including at The Proms), amongst many other achievements, is certainly a most versatile swing vocalist, taking on the styles and mannerisms of everyone from Cab Calloway to Sinatra to Sammy Davis Junior to Michael Buble with aplomb. He was fab!

However, it was Nicola Emmanuelle with her crystal clear voice who really stole the show! A stalwart of jazz and swing ensembles including the LSPO, she famously starred as Ella Fitzgerald in The Rat Pack in the West End - and indeed, when she sang, it was as if a young Ella was actually there in person on stage in Dorking!

As it "said on the tin", we were treated to a cornucopia of Big Band swing numbers; everything from the early days of the Paul Whiteman Orchestra, Louis Armstrong and the aforementioned Cab Calloway, through the golden age of Harry James, Duke Ellington, Stan Kenton, Gene Krupa, Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller, to the post-war era of The Rat Pack, Count Basie, Peggy Lee and Ella's "Great American Songbooks", and the "leaner years" - up against the rise of Rock'n'Roll and Pop music - with Henry Mancini and Maynard Ferguson, all the way to the more modern revivalists like Michael Bublé and Harry Connick Jr.

Utterly brilliant! Understandably, after lunchtime libations, we were up and dancing in the aisles...

...but meeting the adorable Miss Emmanuelle after the show was the icing on the cake:

The perfect way to end a great weekend!

The wearing of the green

Yes, it's Paddy's Day again! Time for everyone to pretend they have any kind of connection with the Irish, as an excuse to dress in green and get utterly mullered on Guinness.

It's also time for the very welcome return of these two lovely laddies - with the fanciest footwork and the bulgiest trouser-fronts the Emerald Isle has to offer!

Sláinte!

Monday, 16 March 2026

Mozart's spinning in his grave

After a lovely weekend in Dorking for Lou's 60th [more on all that later, no doubt], it's back to the same old shit-show again...

...but there is salvation at hand on this Tacky Music Monday, courtesy of a little something from the archives.

How about Belgium's answer to Anthea Turner murdering a beautiful aria by Mozart - and with a dance remix?!

If this doesn't wake you up, nothing will!

Have a good week, dear reader.