Tuesday, 18 August 2026

Vanaf vandaag gaan wij weer dansen *

What a fantastic trip we had to our beloved Amsterdam! And, for a change, there were five of us, as the usual "Tarts on Tour" (Me, Madam Arcati, Baby Steve and Houseboy Alex) we were joined by John-John - which made it all the more fun, as we were able to introduce him to things that he didn't see when he was there last [which was for my 50th birthday - gulp - thirteen years ago!]...

Five days of people-watching by day (at Trinity Cafe opposite our hotel on Oudezijds Voorburgwal, or St James Gate on Rembrandtplein, or the bar formerly known as the much-missed Amstel Taveerne, now The Mill), drinking, eating FEBO and at Eetsalon Van Dobben, wandering the grachten, more drinking, and generally enjoying ourselves - bliss.

We paid tribute to my favourite building in Amsterdam, the Tuschinski Theatre:


[click any pic to embiggen]

We "went true Dutch" at traditional bars such as De Haven van Texel, with its beautiful canal-side view, and the historic bruine kroegen ("brown café") Café Hoppe on the wonderfully-named Spui [the square at the end of the shopping street Kalverstraat; we went there for a welcome beer after trekking round loads of loads of stores including C&A (a clothing shop that was beloved in the UK until it closed all its branches in 2000), and coming away with nothing]. We even spent an afternoon at Amsterdam's botanical garden Hortus Botanicus - with its fascinating butterfly house:

Our gorgeous student boys were back, getting up to their usual hi-jinks [often with their tops off, but we have no photo evidence of that, unfortunately] for their equivalent of "Freshers' Week":

We [obviously!] spent a few nights in some of our fave gay bars, including The Queen's Head [which, we discovered, really only comes into its own on weekends nowadays], the sleazy-and-fab Spijker Bar, and the ever-friendly and jolly Café Montmartre [now in another new location, as part of the busy "gay village" in Reguliersdwarsstraat, and renamed "Montmartre XL"].

Our very favourite of all is - of course - the oldest gay bar in Amsterdam [and possibly the world] Cafe 't Mandje, and its raucous traditional Sunday lunchtime Dutch sing-alongs:

On our very last day, before catching our plane, it was off to the Zeedijk again for the utterly joyous Hartjesdag festival, with its street party, complete with a free breakfast on trestle tables the length of the street, more traditional sing-alongs, followed by the traditional men-dressed-as-women and women-dressed-as-men parade! We love it:

Only one thing marred the celebratory mood, however. Our lovely hosts Karl and Josef at Hotel Anco - where we have stayed every year for at least a decade - are retiring, have put the business up for sale and have a new apartment just around the corner on De Wallen! How very, very sad. They've been like family to us. We have put our reservation in for next year just in case, but Karl said he will let us know if the situation changes [if it is no longer a hotel by then, for instance].

Now... what did we miss while we were away?


Our "colander obscura" captured dozens of little crescents, as the moon obscured the sun

But... did I bring anything back for your delectation, dear reader?

Of course - one of the Netherlands' most popular singers, whose songs were being played all over the place while we were there:

Is it good to be back? NO!

[Vanaf vandaag gaan wij weer dansen = "From today we will dance again"; part of the lyrics of one of Mr Bronkhorst's songs in that medley, Kom allemaal maar in mijn armen]

Thursday, 13 August 2026

Amsterdam vult mijn gedachten


Tarts on Tour! [click to embiggen]

By the time you see this, dear reader, we should be winging our way to my favourite city on earth [after London] - Amsterdam! What better way to mark the occasion than with this glittering version of one of that city's greatest "anthems"?

Aan de Amsterdamse grachten
heb ik heel mijn hart voor altijd verpand.
Amsterdam vult mijn gedachten,
als de mooiste stad in ons land.
Al die Amsterdamse mensen,
al die lichtjes 's avonds laat op het plein.
Niemand kan zich beter wensen
dan een Amsterdammer te zijn.

How fab is that?!

["Normal" service will resume after we get back on Monday night, dear reader!]

Wednesday, 12 August 2026

The pingelepingelepingelepingelepong you never realised you needed in your life


Yes! A Swarovski clog...

As the countdown nears its close - and we gather our skirts to get the gardens watered, the house in order for the Essex boys' arrival later, and to pack our bags for Amsterdam tomorrow, we need another dose of sing-a-long Dutch music to keep us going.

What better than one of our house favourites here at Dolores Delargo Towers, the fantabulosa Jasperina de Jong?

All together now..!

Wij willen geen nicotine, wij willen de mandoline
Van je pingelepingelepingelepingelepong
Picknicken is zo fijn
Niks pikken voor de lijn
Dat mag voor ons overbodig zijn

Jo met de banjo, en Lien met de mandoline
Kaatje met 'r mondharmonikaatje
Truitje met 'r luitje, je moet dat cluppie zien
Dol op een man, dol op een man
We zijn zo dol op een mandoline

Indeed.

Tuesday, 11 August 2026

Ga je zingen, ga je dansen of je wil of niet?

Just two days to go...

...and no countdown to our trip to Amsterdam [on Thursday] would be complete without featuring our beloved "Dutch Super-Group" De Toppers! Especially with a medley of our fave Amsterdam songs [that I may have featured here once or twice, or more, previously...]:

Tracklist:

  • Geef Mij Maar Amsterdam
  • Een Pikketanussie
  • Aan De Voet Van De Oude Wester
  • Oh Johnny
  • Zo, Zo, Zo Is De Jordaan
  • Bij Ons In De Jordaan

Magnifiek! We love De Toppers.

We love Amsterdam!

Monday, 10 August 2026

I'd like to sup with my baby tonight

Yes, it's Monday. However, for a change, I don't care - because I'm on holiday...

...and it's my birthday!

Let's celebrate [and it is a Tacky Music Monday, after all] with a fantabulosa [and appropriate, given the weather] number from our Patron Saint Prime, and the sexiest ballet dancer after Nureyev:

Have a good week, dear reader.


STOP PRESS, 9.40pm:

In their continuing effort to completely piss the blogging community off, the bloody Google gnomes have still failed to fix the ongoing problems with their Reading List. I published a post yesterday at 7pm, and this one today at 9.30am - and neither has yet shown up in the feeds! Bastards.

Sunday, 9 August 2026

They all want me, they can't have me, so they all come and dance beside me

I've spent a fruitful several hours out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers - in the midst of the UK's fifth heatwave this year! - watering, tidying, and generally getting things prepared for us being away for five days from Thursday. Hopefully it may have cooled down again by then, but you never know...

Throughout the day, I have (inevitably) been accompanied by the ever-reliable BBC Radio 2. However, just now I was jolted out of my reverie when I heard this one playing, and realised that I was listening to Pick of the Pops, and the charts from THIRTY YEARS AGO! Fuck.

After that shock to the system, I thought - let's add insult to injury, and revisit a whole selection of hits that are of exactly the same vintage...

Three decades?

Sob.

Saturday, 8 August 2026

Fascinating rhythm locked me on the groove

Sad news today that the music production genius William Orbit has departed - far too soon, aged just 69 - for the "Ambient Trance Party Lounge" in Fabulon...

His "sound" was unmistakeable - and he gave a boost to the careers of several of our most cherished artists, not least Queen Madge. Here's a selection of faves here at Dolores Delargo Towers, by way of a tribute to his talent!

A fantabulosa legacy!

RIP, Mr Orbit.