...but more this!
Yep, thanks to the showery Bank Holiday Weekend weather, our much-loved Grand Annual Picnic has had to be cancelled in favour of gathering at The Perseverance pub in Holborn for an all-day Film Club...
Should be fun!
Sunday, 30 August 2026
Saturday, 29 August 2026
Back to the Future
It's a Bank Holiday weekend and, as Ms Scarlet observed: as usual in Britain, it's raining. Back to normal, then. So much for spending any time in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers! [And so much for our usual Grand Picnic tomorrow - which is replaced instead by one of our boozy Film Club "gatherings of the clans".]
Let us escape it all, and enter the bewildering world of 1950s futuristic technology again, courtesy of the geniuses at Soft Tempo Lounge - this time even more bewildering as this appears to be at some kind of expo in Russia, at the height of the Cold War...
Fab music, as ever:
Ah, that's better.
[Music: Renè Eiffel Orchester - Desidery / Shopping in the town; Original film: RCA Whirlpool Miracle Kitchen in Russia (1959)]
Friday, 28 August 2026
Show 'em how we do it now!
Oh, thank fuck. After one of the most gruelling weeks of my life [coming back from two weeks away to hundreds of emails and dozens of needy clients all wanting to arrange meetings, I've hardly had time to breathe!], the weekend is almost upon us - and it's a three-day one to boot!
Time for a party, methinks - so, let us get our glittery jackets out of the back of the wardrobe, wiggle our tushes along with the ever-jolly Peaches & Herb - and Thank Disco It's Bank Holiday Weekend Friday!
Have a great weekend, dear reader!
Thursday, 27 August 2026
Don't know what I want, but I know how to get it
News that Sex Pistols founder-member and principal songwriter Glen Matlock blows out - gulp - 70 candles on his cake today gives me a perfect excuse to publish this old favourite tribute to the band. Hope he likes what they've done with his song, Ma!
Simply faboo!
Wednesday, 26 August 2026
Hang up the wigs
We at Dolores Delargo Towers have our black armbands on today, still reeling as we are at the very sad news that our Patron Saint of Big Wigs, Miss Dolly Parton has ascended the rhinestone-studded stairway to preside over the pinkness of Fabulon...
It cannot all be sad, however, when one remembers the great lady's wit, self-deprecating humour and sparkle. On losing a drag queen contest, she said:
“They had a bunch of Chers and Dollys that year, so I just over-exaggerated - made my beauty mark bigger, the eyes bigger, the hair bigger, everything. All these beautiful drag queens had worked for weeks and months getting their clothes. So I just got in the line and I just walked across, and they just thought I was some little short gay guy... I got the least applause.”
Such a great loss. There is little more I can offer, dear reader, but a wallow in some of her most beloved and memorable tunes...
RIP, Dolly.
Tuesday, 25 August 2026
Inflamed by the casual profanity
Uptight middle-class couples indulge in the ultimate taboo in the bedroom and pretend they’re common. These are six of their darkest fantasies:
Susan Traherne: “I borrow money from an ex until payday”
I pretend I’m a single mother with six children who fails to plan ahead financially. At the end of the month I’m out of cash and the kids need crisps and energy drinks, so I borrow £80 from an ex – my husband, wearing a shell suit – and am so grateful I have sex with him in his housing association flat out of sheer gratitude.Sophie Rodriguez: “I get a full house at bingo”
He’s calling off the numbers and I’m marking them one by one using a dabber I bought off eBay. The tension is mounting with each one, we’re exchanging glances and fully aroused. When I finally shout ‘Bingo!’ he tells me I’ve not only won £125 in Matalan vouchers but his heart, and he takes me backstage, bends me over a folding table and does me.Julian Cook: “I’m a plumber, she works at Greggs”
She’s got the branded polo, hairnet and apron on. I walk in, van parked on double-yellows, and order a sausage roll. She asks if I want vegan, I say ‘Do I look like a fucking media studies lecturer?’ and we’re both inflamed by the casual profanity. After I give her a good seeing-to in the back of the shop I hand her a fiver and tell her to keep the change and she does.Carolyn Ryan: “I haggle at a car boot sale”
I’m seated on a nasty little folding chair behind a table of tat when a man asks how much for a tea-towel of Filey. I tell him a quid and he huffs and puffs and counters with an offer of 30p. I tell him jog on. He raises it to 50p and tells me I drive a hard bargain, we exchange goods, he sweeps the table clear and shags me on it then we drink strong tea from a flask.Tom Booker: “I win the World Darts Championship”
I’m wearing the shiny top playing the deciding game at Ally Pally in front of a baying, drunken crowd. I hit all the right numbers, win the top prize and my wife fellates me while wearing a beer bottle costume. I used to start this fantasy with walk-on music, but my wife suggested it was too indulgent and was having an adverse effect.Stephen Malley: “We fake genuine interest in other people”
My barrister wife and I pretend to be poor commoners meeting in a public house. The kinky aspect is that we show real interest in each other, rather than bragging about our careers, children’s educational achievements and property portfolios. It gets primal and leads to carnal engagement. We can’t tell our friends, they’re not as open-minded as we are.
Of course.
A perfect excuse (as if any were needed, really) to play this:
Monday, 24 August 2026
Every day seems a lifetime
Noooooooo!
After a gorgeous sixteen days away, it's time for reality to kick in. It's time to get the bloody laptop out of the cupboard, and get back to work! I am in no way ready for this...
Our beloved Kessler Twins would have celebrated their 90th birthdays last Friday, so, on this Tacky Music Monday, only they can save us now!
Probably my favourite camp dance routine, ever. Madam Arcati and I have practised it many times and still can't get it right...
Have a good week, dear reader. I won't!
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