“Don’t worry, we’re just getting started. There’s lots more bad things coming, I promise.”
As we depart for Essex for a few days, dear reader, let me leave you with the merest soupçon of the film that was the unavowed highlight of "our gang"'s Film Club gathering yesterday...
Sumptuous. My new favourite film!
"Normal" service should resume here midweek...
Disney has announced that they are delaying a film about a loveable ill pangolin who is saved by his trusty friend, a market-dwelling bat.The Daily Mash
Piper’s Poorly Pango was already in production when the studio cancelled the sentimental movie about the unlikely duo’s quest to find a cure for a mystery illness, which takes them across all of Hubei province.
Director Tom Logan said: “It’s gutting to have to pull the plug. Pango the pangolin and Piper the horseshoe bat would have roamed China, interacting with all kinds of other creatures, to find a cure.
“The illness was really a metaphor for fear, so the movie had an important message to children about how if you share your fears by hugging as many people as possible, they’ll go away. Which is apparently ‘irresponsible’ now.
“The climax of the movie, a thrilling chase through Wuhan’s wet market, would have had audiences on the edge of their seats. Such a shame it’ll never be seen.”
Disney’s head of marketing Carolyn Ryan, commented: “Pangolins are incredibly cute. We’ve got warehouses full of cuddly pangolins, pangolin bedsheets, pangolin backpacks.
“Now people are only going to want to buy them to beat them while screaming furiously. Which works for us.”
This, believe it or not, is sad but true.
Dickens World is a Dickensian-themed attraction being built in Chatham, Kent and will open in April 2007.
And I quote: "The in-house attraction will reproduce the architecture of the period with picturesque archways, cobbled stoned streets and decorative features, together with specialised lighting and appropriate euphonics [sic] as well as a host of costumed characters, shop keepers and street entertainers.
The experience will feature a Dickensian Shopping Mall, together with a multitude of attractions and rides, including a mix of themed restaurants, bars and a multiplex cinema... over the Christmas period the attraction will convert into a Dickensian winter wonderland, replete with snow and other characteristics of a bygone era, complemented by a magnificent water feature which over the festive season changes into a spectacular 'ice fantasia' dominated by 'The Spirit of Christmas', 'JackFrost', 'Scrooge' and a host of other delightful characters who magically come to life. This and other seasonal events throughout the year an unforgettable experience for visitors of all ages."
Unforgettable experience, indeed! No wonder people from Chatham are known as "Chavs"... Apparently manager Ross Hutchins has said of this monstrosity, "We are not Disneyfying Dickens. If Dickens was alive today, he would probably have built the place himself. "
Read the bloody books!!
