Sunday 28 February 2021

With mascara'd eye and chapeaux by Dache

He's featured here before, of course - our "Head Gardener" here at Dolores Delargo Towers. We wish.

More sunshine this afternoon! More gardening. It's only the end of February, and I feel like I've caught the sun already...

Speaking of the end of February, I do feel sorry for those poor buggers whose birthday only comes around once every four years (hell for a child, but at least as an adult one can pretend to be a quarter of one's real age!)

Two of those "leap year babies" just happen to be "house faves" here at Dolores Delargo Towers - and both eminent purveyors of the kind of music that's just perfect for a sunny Sunday - Miss Dinah Shore [with a bit of Ella thrown in for good measure] and Mr Jimmy Dorsey:

Tangerine, she is all they claim
With her eyes of night and lips as bright as flame
Tangerine, when she dances by, señoritas stare and caballeros sigh
And I've seen toasts to Tangerine
Raised in every bar across the Argentine
Yes, she has them all on the run, but her heart belongs to just one
Her heart belongs to Tangerine

Tangerine, she is all they say
With mascara'd eye and chapeaux by Dache.
Tangerine, with her lips of flame
If the colour keeps, Louis Philippe's to blame.
And I've seen clothes on Tangerine
Where the label says "From Macy's Mezzanine".
Yes, she's got the guys in a whirl, but she's only fooling one girl
She's only fooling Tangerine!

Ah, the mellow mood...

Saturday 27 February 2021

Friday 26 February 2021

You can be a tramp, a junkie or a star

It's a lovely Spring-like day out there, it's payday, and the weekend (also forecast to be sunny) is almost upon us, so let's get ready to let our "lockdown hair" loose!

Providing a most bizarre warm-up to that "party-in-our-heads", here's Theo Vaness, lead singer of a popular 60s-70s rock-pop band in the Netherlands called The Shoes, who in 1979 struck out on his own to release a remarkable "gay disco anthem" - which, for this performance, some TV show producer thought might best be accompanied by...some strippers! [2024 UPDATE: That version is gone from the interwebs, so I have replaced it with the more anodyne "official video"]

Utterly mind-boggling.

Have a faboo weekend, dear reader - Thank Disco It's Friday!

Thursday 25 February 2021

Thought for the Day

I'm with Elsa Lanchester!

Wednesday 24 February 2021

Memory, all alone in the moonlight

I've found myself in a bit of a wistful frame of mind today.

Just cogitating on how quiet our "little clique" of blogging regulars has been lately [and let's face it, I don't get a helluva lot of "hits" on my blog from many places else] - Mistress Maddie's on "compassionate leave", Ms Scarlet's on her fainting chaise, Mr IDV's been silent since Valentine's Day (so probably there's one less postman doing the rounds of North Norfolk at the moment, having been handcuffed to a stack of Star Trek DVDs or something), The Very Mistress MJ pops up out of the blue only every few weeks or so, as does Dinah; Norma even less frequently; Cookie, Mitzi and Savannah and Mr Peenee thrust out a little soupçon every now and again; which leaves only little moi churning out the daily blah-blah-blah - I took a trawl through the archives, and found a couple of posts I did about "blogs I loved" way back in 2012...

...only to realise that not one of them is still going!

Whatever became of Thombeau, TJB, Felix (in Hollywood), Stephen, Muscato, Donna Lethal, Deep Dish (Marc Harshbarger), "Kylie obsessive" Marky Mark, Henry (Barbarella's Galaxy) and the rest, I wonder?


Tuesday 23 February 2021

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it

Do you want to shock younger people with tales of life in the pre-internet olden days? Here are some things to freak them out with.

You had to buy songs you didn’t like
Otherwise known as ‘albums’, and you always knew there’d be quite a few duds on the LP as you handed over your cash in WH Smith. All were still far better than an iTunes Ed Sheeran playlist, however.

People wrote letters
Definitely mention this because the texting generation will assume you were sitting in candlelight with a quill pen while wearing a Shakespearean ruff as you wrote a quick letter to your university girlfriend/boyfriend in 1989.

Pubs were not like now
For vague historical and moral reasons, in the 80s most pubs shut for a couple of hours in the afternoon, with little effect on how much people drank. Food was crisps or a shit ploughman’s lunch, grudgingly served. If you asked for a coffee the barman would look at you as if you’d walked in wearing a spacesuit.

You couldn’t just look up anything instantly
Thanks to Google, it’s easy to look up anything from the opening times of a local garage to the average sperm count of a male velociraptor. Unlike in the olden days, knowledge is far more accessible now, with most people getting their facts from Twitter or the Mail Online.

Car journeys involved no seatbelts and lots of smoking
Seatbelts weren’t compulsory for everyone until 1991, and before then many dads believed they were a slur on their James Hunt-level driving abilities. All cars also had a prominently-positioned ashtray in case you couldn’t make it to the local Kwik Save without smoking 15 Rothmans.

Penknives were extremely cool
If you’ve grown up with Playstation, it’s hard to grasp how amazing penknives were. Swiss army were the best, obviously, even though you were too young to use the corkscrew and no one has ever used the fish scaler, even the Swiss army.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Monday 22 February 2021

Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba; early morning singing song

Home working. Don'tcha love it?

And so, the wheel turns again - and here we are at the start of another no doubt lovely and rewarding week of work...

It's been a fabulously mild and temperate weekend, and we were able to get some pruning-back and clearing of dead stuff done in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers, after the "big freeze" last week [Oh yes, and I had my first COVID vaccination!] - but, as per usual, over all too soon.

Hey ho; on with the show. Today sees another completely unlikely combo of birthdays, including Kenneth Williams, Dame Julie Walters, Marni Nixon, Sir Bruce Forsyth, Dame Sheila Hancock, the Duchess of Kent, Christine Keeler, George Washington, Sir John Mills, Judy Cornwell, Drew Barrymore, Arthur Schopenhauer, Ellen Greene, Ted Kennedy, James Blunt, Lord Baden-Powell, Steve Irwin, Eric Gill, Guy Mitchell, Chris Moyles, Niki Lauda, Lea Salonga, Nigel Planer, Edward Gorey, General Bokassa, Luis Buñuel, and the artist known as "Oliver", who had a big hit with his version of the classic Good Morning Starshine from Hair...

...which, on this Tacky Music Monday is here artfully performed by what was, by the time this was broadcast in 1969, Miss-Ross-and-her-backing-singers:

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sunday 21 February 2021

He went through wild ecstatics when I showed him my lymphatics

Yes - it was my turn today to go and get my jab!

The clinic was nowhere near as exotic as this, however...


Saturday 20 February 2021

Big Girl, You are Beautiful

Heavens! I almost missed the fact that the effervescent fierce rulin' diva, proud lesbian, lately plus-size fashionista and house fave here at Dolores Delargo Towers Miss Beth Ditto celebrated her 40th birthday yesterday...

Without further ado, by way of a tribute here are three of my favourite numbers by the diva herself - first up, a solo hit, and the following two with her band, the faboo Gossip:

It's a cruel cruel world
To face on your own
A heavy cross
To carry along
The lights are on
But everyone's gone
And it's cruel

It's a funny way
To make ends meet
When the lights are out
On every street
It feels alright
But never complete
Without joy

I checked you
If it's already been done
Undo it
It takes two
It's up to me and you
To prove it

On the rainy nights
Even the coldest days
You're moments ago
But seconds away
The principle of nature
It's true but
It's a cruel world

We can play it safe or play it cool
Follow the leader or make up all the rules
Whatever you want, the choice is yours
So choose

I checked you if it's already been done
Undo it
It takes two and it's up to me and you
To prove it

It's a cruel world.

Amen, sister!

Many happy returns, Beth Ditto (born Mary Beth Patterson, 19th February 1981)!

Friday 19 February 2021

Put your game face on, stay strong and sparkle

Carnival may have been cancelled, but we're going to sparkle anyhow!

Oh, thank heavens - this has been an excruciating first week back after my leave, but the end is in sight...

There was some sad news earlier this week, when we learned of the premature death of the very cute "Sir" Ari Gold, New York club kid, DJ, out-gay role model and collaborator with a whole array of stars including Boy George, Cyndi Lauper and RuPaul, who has departed to provide the music in Fabulon, aged just 47.

I think it's appropriate to hand proceedings over to the master (and the lovely Sarah Dash from LaBelle) as we look forward to the looming weekend, get our dancing shoes and feathers on, and enjoy his "gay anthem that never was" from 2011. Thank Disco It's Friday!

Is it blinding you?
Diamond Studded
Only you can cut it
You shine
From within
Without anything

Don't ask, don't tell?
We gonna flaunt it
Give 'em all hell
Put a ring on it

And when its cold
You better bring your weather with you
Put your game face on
Stay strong
And sparkle
And when it's dark
Remember that the sunshine's in you
You got thunder, lightning, shine and sparkle

Is a star's shining brightly and you like it
Don't just step into its shadow
There's a fierce lion roaring in you and you know it
And he's coming out loud now

Even Gaga too
Diana lives in you

'Cause when you're down
Bring your inner diva around
She will brighten, curtain up and sparkle
And when your low
You gotta just go on with the show
Put your mask on, make-up, smile and sparkle

And when its cold
You better bring your weather with you
Put your game face on
Stay strong
And sparkle
And when it's dark
Remember that the sunshine's in you
You got thunder, lightning, shine and sparkle

When the battery's down
Charger can't be found
All you've got is what you feel
The connection's out
You try to find another route
Life keeps on getting mighty real
No need for special effects
Simply reconnect
To all you can be thankful for
Between the spirit and the flash
Only you know what's best
It's a place you've been before

And when its cold
You better bring your weather with you
Put your game face on
Stay strong
And sparkle
And when it's dark
Remember that the sunshine's in you
You got thunder, lightning, shine and sparkle

'Cause when you're down
Bring your inner-diva around
She will brighten, curtain up and sparkle
And when your low
You gotta just go on with the show
Put your mask on, make-up, smile and sparkle

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

RIP Ari Gold (11th February 1974 - 14th February 2021)

Thursday 18 February 2021


The beautiful Spring-like sunrise that greeted me when I staggered out of bed this morning has been replaced by pissing rain and high winds, which makes being stuck here with the work laptop glowering at me even more tiresome.

What we need is a lovely "light musical interlude", and to spend some time ogling glamorous people cavorting in exotic places - courtesy of the ever-wonderful Soft Tempo Lounge"...

Ah, that's better - but it does get one thinking.

How many different changes of clothing does this woman have?! Why is she strangely attracted to men who look like a cross between Jack Palance and an Easter Island statue? How does she manage to keep that wig on while water-skiing? Questions, questions...

Wednesday 17 February 2021

Know your history

“If you don't know history, then you don't know anything. You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree. ” - Michael Crichton

February is Gay History Month in the UK, in celebration of the 2003 abolition of Section 28 ("Clause 28"), a nasty piece of '80s legislation that stated that a local authority "shall not intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality" or "promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship".

NB America has its own such month-long event in October every year.

Over the years, a whole "alphabet soup" of additional initials has added to the original terms to describe homosexuality ("L" for lesbian and "G" for gay), including "B" for bisexual, "T" for trans, and even more recently "Q" for that vile term of insult "queer" [which some radicals have tried to "reclaim" but still gives me the shudders], and many more besides; the result being that if everyone who shouts loudest gets heard, we end up with "LGBTTQQIAAP+" or, more amusingly, "QUILTBAG". It all gets on my nerves, to be honest. Apart from societal prejudice, if truth be told most of these so-called "identities" have absolutely sod all in common - and with so many conflicting voices, much depends on what is the latest to be "in fashion", as that tends to dominate the narrative.

As a consequence, Auntie Beeb's effort to recognise the currently-termed LGBT+ History Month, by way of a podcast - cheerily-titled You're Dead To Me - has got her knickers, or rather her British history, in a twist. Among a list of "some of the key LGBTQ figures in our past" [my italics] are featured the Chevalier d'Éon (French trans diplomat and spy in the 18th century); Gladys Bentley (American lesbian Harlem singer); Sylvia Rivera, Marsha P. Johnson and Stormé DeLarverie (two American trans activists and one American lesbian, who may - or more likely with the first two, according to contemporary accounts, may not - have been involved in New York's Stonewall uprising); Bayard Rustin (American civil rights campaigner at the time of Martin Luther King); and Alfred Kinsey (American sexologist). All utterly fascinating and remarkable lives, of that there is absolutely no doubt whatsoever. However, the only notables from gay British history featured are Anne Lister (famously bold lesbian landowner and diarist, whose story was recently dramatised in the TV series Gentleman Jack) and Roberta Cowell (first British trans woman to undergo gender reassignment surgery).

Now, I have never listened to the podcast, and don't suppose I actually will unless there is nothing else on the radio or telly, so I cannot speak for whether this is the entire gamut of lives covered by their History Month special. I do, however, feel that some effort is lacking on the part of the British Broadcasting Corporation when six Americans and a French person dominate the roll-call, and out of the whole list (including four trans, two lesbians and one closet bisexual) there is only ONE gay man!

Let me help the BBC out here...

British gay men from history (notwithstanding the "usual suspects" such as Oscar Wilde, Noël Coward, Quentin Crisp, Peter Tatchell, Alan Turing, Derek Jarman and the like) who might have been taken into account include:

  • W. H. Auden
  • Jeremy Bentham
  • Humphry Berkeley
  • Lord Berners
  • Benjamin Britten
  • Ted Brown
  • Edward Carpenter
  • Thomas Cannon
  • Graham Chapman
  • Tom Driberg
  • A. E. Dyson
  • Havelock Ellis
  • E. M. Forster
  • Ray Gosling
  • Antony Grey
  • David Hockney
  • Allan Horsfall
  • A. E. Housman
  • Christopher Isherwood
  • George Cecil Ives
  • Brian Kennedy
  • William Lygon, Earl Beauchamp
  • Christopher Marlowe
  • Somerset Maugham
  • Joe Orton
  • Frederick Rolfe ("Baron Corvo")
  • Siegfried Sassoon
  • Michael Schofield
  • Simeon Solomon
  • Ned Sherrin
  • Kaikhosru Shapurji Sorabji
  • Labi Siffre
  • Lytton Strachey
  • Howard Sturgis
  • John Addington Symonds
  • Matthew Tomlinson
  • Patrick Trevor-Roper
  • Peter Wildeblood name but a few from a veritable "cast of thousands" that includes kings, aristocracy and the lower classes alike. [And I haven't even attempted a list of historical British lesbians...]

I mark your effort, Auntie, as "could do better".

Here's a little more "historic gayness", which I thought appropriate:

Hey, boy, where do you get it from?
Hey, boy, where did you go?
I learned my passion
In the good old-fashioned
School of loverboys

Didn't we all, dear?

Tuesday 16 February 2021

How do you like yours tossed?

As I have observed before, on this day across the world, it's Mardi Gras - an excuse for a parade of feathers, fouff and faff. Here in the UK, it's Pancake Day - an excuse to eat...

Of course, pancakes are delicious with just the traditional sugar and lemon, or alternatively with fruit, cream or a variety of sweet toppings like chocolate spread, jam or honey. Some people prefer them savoury, with a sauce of ham, cheese or even seafood - much more commonplace in the Netherlands, where they're known as pannenkoeken. The recipe, understandably, varies across the world - and there is indeed a world of difference between our own pancakes and the small fat variety found in the USA and Canada, or even the slightly stiff crêpes favoured across the channel in France and Belgium.

However, should you want to cook British pancakes to celebrate Shrove Tuesday in the traditional British way, dear old Delia Smith (of course) has the perfect recipe!

But what sort of pancake do you like to toss, dear reader? Sweet, savoury, buttermilk or plain, crispy, lardy, risen or flat, buckwheat or white flour, fruit or bacon, cheese or bananas - we need to know!

And while you're tossing away in the privacy of your own home, here's a musical tribute to the resulting improvements to your figure...

It's worth it, in my opinion.

Monday 15 February 2021

Cantar, cantar, cantar

Current mood: Cruella de Vil


It's the first day in a fortnight that I have actually had to get out of bed in the morning. The first day back to the old routine of being chained to a laptop the size of a Danielle Steele paperback, and ten times more banal...

Hey ho. As long as we have Raffaella on a Tacky Music Monday, there's always some semblance of cheer!

Have a good week, dear reader.

I won't.

Sunday 14 February 2021

A bourgeois construct

Everything on the radio today is slush, mush and faux-sentiment, so here's something I posted five years ago that is every bit as relevant for today:

Today is "St Hallmark's Day": the only day in the year when grown men are seen buying anything in pink, covered with hearts and teddy-bears, and the shit poetry and laquer-sprayed-flower industries rub their hands with glee.

In my usual cynical manner, here's a contribution - courtesy of the Pet Shop Boys:

I've been taking my time for a long time
Putting my feet up a lot
Speaking English as a foreign language
any words that I haven't forgot
I've been thinking how I can't be bothered
to wash the dishes or remake the bed
What's the point when I could doss instead?

I've been hanging out with various riff-raff
somewhere on the Goldhawk Road
I don't think it's gonna be much longer
'til I'm mugging up on the penal code
Love is a bourgeois construct
so I've given up on the bourgeoisie
Like all their aspirations, it's a fantasy

When you walked out you did me a favour
you made me see reality
that love is a bourgeois construct
It's a blatant fallacy
You won't see me with a bunch of roses
promising fidelity
Love doesn't mean a thing to me

Talking tough and feeling bitter
but better now it's clear to me
that love is a bourgeois construct
so I've given up the bourgeoisie

While the bankers all get their bonuses
I'll just get along with what I've got
Watching the weeds in the garden
Putting my feet up a lot
I'll explore the outer limits of boredom
moaning periodically
Just a full-time, lonely layabout
that's me

When you walked out you did me a favour
It's absolutely clear to me
that love is a bourgeois construct
just like they said at university
I'll be taking my time for a long time
with all the Schadenfreude it's cost
calculating what you've lost

Now I'm digging through my student paperbacks
Flicking through Karl Marx again
Searching for the soul of England
Drinking tea like Tony Benn
Love is just a bourgeois construct
so I'm giving up the bourgeoisie
until you come back to me

Talking tough and feeling bitter
but better now it's clear to me
that love is a bourgeois construct
so I've given up the bourgeoisie


Saturday 13 February 2021

A fiesta in makeup!

We're ready to roar!

L’Oréal, the world’s biggest cosmetics maker, envisions a boom for beauty once the Covid-19 pandemic subsides similar to the roaring 1920s that followed the global influenza pandemic of 1918.

Jean-Paul Agon, the L’Oréal chief executive, on Friday predicted a “fiesta” in the beauty market.

“People will be happy to go out again, to socialise,” he said. “This will be like the Roaring 20s, there will be a fiesta in makeup and in fragrances. Putting on lipstick again will be a symbol of returning to life.”

Any excuse, really, for this party choon:

But, wait! How about a new interpretation by the chap who was responsible for last year's would-be Eurovision winner (had the contest actually gone ahead) - and on my list of fave songs of 2020 - Daði Freyr?

Love it...

Friday 12 February 2021

Bovine greetings!

Its not just the end of the week, it's a bigger handover day - for it is Chinese New Year. Out with the Rat, in with...

...the OX!

It's difficult to find any dancy numbers about cows or bulls that are appropriate for the occasion, so how about Buffalos? Thank Disco It's Friday!

Gung hay fat choy, dear reader!

Thursday 11 February 2021

Oh, come on! Get out of my way

Ice, frozen snow, dying plants - grimness abounds, dear reader.

What we need is a little warmth in our lives! And, as today is the 80th birthday of that maestro of the bossa nova Sérgio Mendes, I think this classic number of his provides the perfect solution:

Mas que Nada
Sai da minha frente
Eu quero passar
Pois o samba está animado
O que eu quero é sambar.

Oh, come on!
Get out of my way
I want to pass through
Because the samba is animated
What I want is to dance samba.

I'm sipping a caipirinha by a beach as we speak, sweetie!

In my mind, anyhow.

Wednesday 10 February 2021

An amoral slag?

How many people you’ve shagged exactly equates to your worth as a human. Rate yourself on our scale to find out if you are a sexual failure or an amoral slag:

It’s tragic that you’ve never experienced the joy of sexual intimacy with another person, loser. Lower your standards and get on with it or the vicar will intone ‘Sadly, he remained a pathetic virgin’ as your coffin is lowered at your funeral.

You’re one of these sickening people who met their life partner aged 17 and have been together ever since. Stop being so bloody unadventurous and have an affair, even if it ruins a blissful relationship, leads to divorce and your kids end up broken and ashamed.

Two to five
Not really trying, are you? Stuck in a rut of caring, respectful, long-term relationships? Seriously rethink your attitude and get out there, drunkenly sleeping with anyone you meet in grim nightclubs while creating a shitload of emotional hassle for yourself when they think you’re a couple now.

Five to 20
At 12 or above you’re in the porking ‘sweet spot’: sexually experienced, clearly desirable to the opposite sex, and you can pretend to be mortified about what a sexual adventurer you are while you’re showing off.

20 to 40
A very respectable number of notches on the bedpost, but you’re moving towards promiscuity and herpes. Our outdated patriarchal society is horribly judgmental about women having casual relationships, but also hates men who do it because they’re genetically blessed with looks and don’t need an interesting personality. Scum.

There’s a word for people like you: ‘popular’. It’s worth doing a cost-benefit analysis of your endless unsatisfying hook-ups and maybe doing something more fulfilling, like deep-cleaning the bathroom.

You’re either a prostitute or a member of Motley Crue, so this is fine because it’s your job.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Well, I never charged (couldn't afford the refunds), and I've never been much of a fan of heavy metal rock music, but I think all this time I might have been a member of the band...

How about you, dear reader?

Tuesday 9 February 2021

Supreme to the end

Unexpected and sad news - Miss Mary Wilson, legendary co-founder of The Supremes, and quite likely the feistiest of all of 'em, has shimmied off to Fabulon. A trouper of the first order, her battles with Motown big-wigs, the music industry in general, and, of course, Miss Ross have been well-documented - and, having celebrated her 60th year in the music business in 2019, even as recent as this week she announced that she was working on releasing new solo material.

I have, of course, paid myriad tributes to Mary and the girls - with and without the saintly Diana - over the years so, by way of a tribute, I have dug out a real rarity. A song written by the great Northern-Soul-turned-Hi-NRG maestro DJ Ian Levine (apparently about one of his own bitter break-ups), this fabulously camp number sounds like it was written for her - and should have been a huge hit, in my opinion! Take it away, Mary...


  • In the late 60s she had a torrid affair with our very own Tom Jones - whose wife Linda, when she found out, threatened to cut his balls off!
  • After she walked away from the final iteration of The Supremes (following a concert at the Theatre Royal Drury Lane in London in 1977), Mary found it difficult to make a success of her solo recording career - a fact that wasn't helped when she signed with CEO Records in 1992, which promptly went bankrupt.
  • Bitter wrangling about fees and artistic control meant that, despite several attempts by all concerned, Miss Wilson never did reconcile with La Diana to join the "Supremes reunion tour" in 2000.
  • In 2009 she appeared on The Paul O'Grady Show - which ended in a special performance with her, Paul O'Grady and Graham Norton as "The Supremes". [I would kill for a video of that routine, but YouTube has no record of this extravaganza.]
  • In 2019, Mary was reunited with one of her gowns that was missing from her collection when a British vintage clothing store owner found one at a garage sale in France.
RIP Mary Wilson (6th March 1944 – 8th February 2021)

Monday 8 February 2021

Queen bitch

The Ice Queen cometh... The extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers are looking very sorry for themselves after the most bitterly cold snowy couple of days - and there's colder nights to come! We can only wait in hope to see if our magnificent Madeira geranium, salvias and eucomis survive the experience.

This two week holiday's going well, then...

Hey ho. Let's continue our dreams of Spain [where we should be at this time of year] on this Tacky Music Monday, in the estimable company of one of our fave Divas from that country, Señorita Carmen Sevilla!

Cavorting by a pool. Sigh.

Keep warm, dear reader!

Sunday 7 February 2021

Totty of the Season

Ramon Novarro (6th February 1899 – 30th October 1968)

Damian Lewis (50 on 11th February)

Tom Hiddleston (40 years old on 9th February)

Chris Mears MBE (diver, born 7th February 1993)

Ralf Little (born 8th February 1980)

Cristiano Ronaldo (born 5th February 1985)

James Dean (who would have been 90 on 8th February)

Well, that's cheered up a cold, sleety Sunday!

As has this...

Saturday 6 February 2021

Mamie, wonderful Mamie

Among another peculiar mix today of birthday boys'n'girls, including Queen Anne, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Bob Marley, Rip Torn, Patrick Macnee, Natalie Cole, Denis Norden, Ramon Novarro, Gayle Hunnicutt, Leslie Crowther, Axl Rose, François Truffaut, Mike Farrell, Ronald Reagan, Eva Braun, Babe Ruth, Jimmy Tarbuck, Mike Batt, Rick Astley (who is 55) and our very own Madam Arcati...'s the 90th birthday of the "Blonde Bombshell" herself, Miss Mamie Van Doren!

From an article on the site (via the Wayback Machine):

To understand why Mamie Van Doren is who she is and how she has held on to what she was, we first must examine the breasts. Lordy, those breasts. Fashioned by God and fondled by Elvis. Born during the New Deal and bloomed during Nagasaki. Coaxed Howard Hughes out of reclusion. Got action in the back seats of cars America hasn't made in half a century. Even brought down the house in Vietnam. Bigger than Marilyn's, more buoyant than Jayne Mansfield's - and they're still here.

Boy, are they still here - even though it's been decades since Mamie Van Doren was on Hollywood's A-list of pinup girls and B-list of movie starlets. They were showcased in a string of drive-in quickies and sexploitation films throughout the '50s, including Sex Kittens Go to College (subtitled "You Never Saw a Student Body Like This!") and Untamed Youth ("Youth Turned Rock 'n' Roll Wild and the Punishment Farm that Makes Them Wilder!") They were just about the only facet of Van Doren's career that stayed afloat during the '60s. They've outlasted - she's outlasted - not only her fellow '50s bombshells but the leading men who pursued them: Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra, even Rock Hudson (who, she claims, left a Clinton-esque stain on her dress).

Yes indeed, if ever there was a girl whose reputation went before here, it's Mamie. And here are some prime examples of her - ahem - outstanding talents...

...and, finally, here's the "lady" herself - aged 80 - in a most (ahem) tasteful tribute to... her mobile phone!

Mummy, I'm scared...

Many happy returns, Mamie Van Doren (born Joan Lucille Olander, 6th February 1931)!

[And to the Madam, as well, of course - who I just know will love this trash-fest.]

Friday 5 February 2021

I found a place where we can boogie

As I am actually in the middle of a much-welcomed fortnight's break - although I might sound a bit like the Dowager Countess of Grantham by saying it - the imminent appearance of "a weekend" makes very little difference, truth be told.

However, traditions are traditions, after all - so let us welcome in this excuse for a party in the estimable company of classy laydeez Cherise & Nadia - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a good weekend, dear reader!

Thursday 4 February 2021

She never bothers with people she hates

Sharing the festivities with another ill-assorted bunch including Ida Lupino, Hylda Baker, Natalie Imbruglia, Charles Lindbergh, Rosa Parks, Dara Ó Briain, Norman Wisdom, Patrick Bergin, Isabel Perón, Dan Quayle, George A. Romero and the remarkable Emperor Norton...'s the mad, bad and dangerous to know Alice Cooper's birthday today!

Any excuse, really, to revisit an old favourite of his:

Rodgers and Hart are spinning in their graves as we speak...

Many happy returns, Alice! (born Vincent Damon Furnier, 4th February 1948)

Wednesday 3 February 2021

Tuesday 2 February 2021

That all went rather well, Gromit

As milestones go, especially when they involve a "national treasure" here in the UK, one might have expected at least a sniff of interest from what laughingly passes for "the media" in the fact that yesterday was the centenary of the birth of Peter Sallis. Nope. Shameful, really.

Not only was Mr Sallis a predominant feature of our telly screens for thirty-seven years - as the lugubrious-yet-patient "Cleggy", forever rasing his eyebrow at the hare-brained antics of his compatriots in the world's longest-running sitcom Last of the Summer Wine; the only character to appear in all 295 episodes - he also lent his lovely dulcet tones to the madcap inventor "Wallace" in the classic Wallace and Gromit animations.

By way of a tribute to the man, it is to that series of films I turn...

Peter John Sallis OBE (1st February 1921 – 2nd June 2017)