Clueless

An obviously gay man appears to be the only person in his circle of friends, acquaintances and family to have no inkling of his sexuality.

Tom Booker, aged 26, believes he is just yet to meet a girl who has "the focus of Cher, the bravery of Madonna and the sheer sequinned fabulousness of Christina Aguilera."

He continued: “There just never seem to be any single women when I’m pursuing my interests, whether attending the ballet or doing Indonesian cookery courses. I’m putting myself out there!

“Occasionally I get a lady posting an admiring comment on my TikToks where I lip-sync to Britney Spears tracks, but I wouldn’t want to date a fan.

“I don’t get lonely – there’s always 'Drag Race' on telly – but I do get despondent sometimes, coming home from yet another date with a girl who for whatever reason just doesn’t turn me on and drowning my sorrows in bathtime Bellinis.

“Yes, I wish I had a life partner to take to the musical of 'The Devil Wears Prada' who could sympathise with my own struggles to enter the fashion industry. But I’m prepared to wait.”

Friend Joanna Kramer said: “We are thinking of locking him briefly in a closet to see if he gets it.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Say oh oh oh, say oh oh oh!

Just because I heard this song on Trevor Nelson's Radio 2 show on Monday, I felt I had to feature one of our favourite video clips ever here at Dolores Delargo Towers again...

Adam MacLean and friends - Million Dollar Bill - Asbury Park

Together with Slimy Dion, I despise "Wibbler Whitney" for her legacy of overblown, strangulated melisma that pervades what laughingly passes for "singing" in the pop world today (I'm looking at you Mariah, Beyonce, Christina, Ariana, et al) - but add in the (ahem) obvious talents of dear Adam and his queeny chums, and I cannot help but smile whenever Million Dollar Bill comes on.

Together this is what we'll do

A g'wan then...

Even though it always seems somewhat contrary for a citizen of the British Empire to join in the victory parade of its rebellious colonies, over the pond (due West, indeed) the bunting is out for this year's Fourth of July celebrations.

As it is also the middle of our countdown to Gay Pride in London this weekend, let's combine the two parties by way of one of the US of A's most fab-u-lous exports - the Village People and Go West!

Village People - Go West

Together we will go our way, together we will leave some day.
Together your hand in my hand, together we will make the plans.
Together we will fly so high, together tell our friends goodbye.
Together we will start life new, together this is what we'll do.

Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do!
Go west, sun in winter time.
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do.

Together we will love the beach, together we will learn and teach.
Together change our pace of life, together we will work and strive.
I love you, I know you love me; I want you happy and carefree.
So that's why I have no protest when you say you want to go west.

Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do!
Go west, sun in winter time.
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do.

I know that there are many ways to live there in the sun or shade.
Together we will find a place to settle down and live with the space
without the busy pace back east, the hustling, rustling of the feet,
I know I'm ready to leave too, so this is what we're going to do

Go west, life is peaceful there.
Go west, lots of open air.
Go west to begin life new.
Go west, this is what we'll do!
Go west, sun in winter time.
Go west, we will do just fine.
Go west where the skies are blue.
Go west, this and more we'll do.

I bet they're all singing along at Mar-a-Lago!

A rather fab Interlude

A while ago, our friend Alex asked me to do a feature for Beige, a quarterly glossy gay magazine of note, in which I have previously had pieces promoting LGBT History Month - but only ever in their online version.

This time, I am chuffed to announce that my interview with the fantabulosa award-winning author Mr Rupert Smith has made the print edition!



I am very proud...

Rupert Smith's new novel Interlude is published in September 2014 - and I cannot recommend it enough!

Visit Rupert's website for more information.

Très efféminé

Born today (Boxing Day): Henry Miller, Jane Lapotaire, Mao Tse-Tung, Phil Spector, Richard Widmark, and...

...our very own "Queen of the Night", Régine!

Here she is with a magnificent tribute to all things effeminately gay (I just can't imagine Lulu doing this). It's Les femmes ça fait, and it's wonderful:

Régine - Les femmes, ça fait pédé

Les femmes, ça fait pédé, c'est très efféminé
Tellement efféminé qu'ça fait pédé

Les femmes ça met des jupes
Non mais de quoi j'm'occupe
Les femmes ça met des bas
Nylon ou soie

Les femmes, ça fait pédé, c'est très très efféminé
Tellement efféminé qu'ça fait pédé

Les femmes ça met du rouge
Aux lèvres, et quand ça bouge
Des hanches, ça fait marcher
Les PDG

Les femmes, ça fait pédé, c'est très très très efféminé
Tellement efféminé qu'ça fait pédé

Les femmes ça se parfume
Les femmes ça boit ça fume
Des liqueurs de havanes
Et des bananes

Les femmes ça met du rouge
Aux lèvres, et quand ça bouge
Des hanches, ça fait marcher
Les PDG

Les femmes, ça fait pédé, c'est très très très efféminé
Tellement efféminé qu'ça fait pédé

Les femmes ça fait
Tellement efféminé
Qu'il y a plus d'un pédé
Qui y est resté

Not being fluent, I am not even going to attempt a translation, but I think the meaning is fairly clear...

It's as camp as tits, dear reader!

I have of course featured Régine before - read my tributes here, here and here.

Régine Zylberberg on Wikipedia.

God = Boy

Continuing our busy week of LGBT History Month events, on Thursday evening Madam Arcati and I braved the looming blizzard to go to the wonderful Petrie Museum for a "lavishly illustrated lecture" by academic and Egyptologist John J Johnston, all about the legendary gay boy-god Antinous, lover of the Emperor Hadrian.


Petrie Museum

Mr Johnston is a fascinating and erudite speaker, and with consummate ease encapsulated not just the story of Antinous and his sad death, but his legacy in myriad works of statuary and art, and his continued camp cult status even today.

Visit Dolores Delargo Towers - Museum of Camp for the remarkable story of Antinous.

This particular god was the last to be created in the Roman epoch (an unprecedented act of hysterical campness by his lover the Emperor) - and suited the mood of those decadent times very well. His image appeared everywhere across the Empire, from his birthplace in Greek-speaking Asia Minor, to the memorial city established after his death Antinoopolis in Egypt, to such far-flung lands as Spain, North Africa and even Britain. Antinous came to represent the eternal beauty of desired male youth (and his fabulous arse!).


[left] Gay historian Johann Joachim Winckelmann with a picture of Antinous; [right] gay adherents of the cult of Antinous

His legend captured the hearts and minds (and more no doubt) of successive generations of aesthetes, romantics and chicken-loving homosexuals, with numerous reproductions of his image, poems and prose dedicated to his story, and the adoption of Hadrian and Antinous as symbols of often persecuted gay love.

This lecture was brilliantly told, brilliantly researched, beautifully illustrated, and utterly, totally enthralling...

LGBT History Month continues throughout February 2012.