Sunday, 20 October 2019

'Cause every day is the same day

We're trolling across London for a much overdue visit to the lovely Kew Gardens today, and it looks like the weather's going to stay OK, which is a relief. Nothing worse than trudging around a botanical garden when the ground is wet and the plants are all drooping...

Meanwhile, sharing the days as she does with a right mix of unlikely bedfellows such as Bela Lugosi, Snoop Dogg, Sandra Dickinson, Dame Anna Neagle, Danny Boyle, Margaret Dumont, Adelaide Hall, Kathy Kirby, Tom Petty, Mark King of Level 42 and Jess Glynne - it's "the other Minogue sister"'s birthday!

Take it away, Dannii:

When I'm walking down the street I call your name
Inside my head I go insane
Don't you know that it's really making me crazy?
There were days when I went completely blind
No time to think and I lost time
Won't believe what's happened to me lately

'Cause every day is the same day
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before
And every day is the same thing
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before

And I begin to wonder
Don't you know that it's really making me crazy?
And I begin to wonder
Won't believe what's happened to me lately

'Cause every day is the same day
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before
And every day is the same thing
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before

And every time I think I'm breaking free
These thoughts return to trouble me
Hanging on to love has left me empty
You're a sinner but you told me you're a saint
Too fast I tripped and lost my way
Can't believe what's happened to me lately

'Cause every day is the same day
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before
And every day is the same thing
Different faces with no name
Places I've never been before

And I begin to wonder
Don't you know that it's really making me crazy?
And I begin to wonder
Won't believe what's happened to me lately

Many happy returns, Danielle “Dannii” Minogue (born 20th October 1971)

Saturday, 19 October 2019

Friday, 18 October 2019

Break on through to the other side, yeah

It's been a miserable, wet - and fustratingly busy, work-wise - week and I will be glad to see the back of it, especially if, as predicted, the sun does shine this weekend. Our little "gang" had a rollicking night out at Carradine's Cockney Sing-a-long in our beloved Witon's Music Hall last night, which was a great pick-me-up - but, as is our wont, we cannot let the party stop there...

...not when there's another "McClintock Mash-up" to enjoy! Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a fab one, dear reader.

Thursday, 17 October 2019

You know you're getting old when... find out that the toothsome Gary Kemp of Spandau Ballet is 60 years old!

This, of course, is how we prefer to remember Gary and the boys:

I've got my filbert out as we speak!

Many happy returns, Gary James Kemp (born 16th October 1959)

Wednesday, 16 October 2019


Prosecco has told gin to enjoy its moment as Britain’s booze du jour while it can, because it will not last.

The sparkling Italian wine has bitterly advised the juniper-based spirit that it was not so long ago that it was the name on everybody’s lips and barbecue aprons, but nothing lasts forever.

It continued: “The public are fickle. One day there couldn’t be a hen party without you, the next you’re yesterday’s news.

“Sure, at the moment it’s all comparison pieces in the Sunday papers and being fine to drink with breakfast. But soon enough their disloyal palates move on to some flashy new booze.

“It’s a great trick you’ve got with all the different flavours. Love it. Enjoy it while it lasts, because one day it’ll be you watching shocked from behind the bar as they get shitfaced on whatever the next thing is.

“Gin o’clock. God, when they say that. It used to be my time.”

Experts agree that gin has another 18 months maximum as the nation’s favourite tipple, before Britain moves on to either artisanal rums, añejo tequilas or Argentinian fernet, but probably not stout.
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

So many places yet to visit...

...but what to wear?

The big outdoors, indeed.

Monday, 14 October 2019

Cossacks to it all!*

Groan. On a miserable, wet, dark morning like this, the last thing in the world I want to do is get out of bed and go to work.

Never mind, eh? There's always the weird, wild world of Miss Rika Zarai to cheer us up on this Tacky Music Monday:

Ah, that's better (if somewhat bewildering)...

Have a good week, folks!

[*Casatschok, or, more properly Kazachok, means "Little Cossack" in Russian.]

Sunday, 13 October 2019

You were there, and all the world was young

Wow. One of our favourite "guilty pleasures", the remarkable Nana Mouskouri - one of the world's biggest-selling [probably on a par with Queen Madge, or at the very least, better than Mariah; but stats are sketchy when dealing with a career that started in 1960] female artists in history - celebrates her 85th birthday today!

Without further ado, let's let the "Songbird of Athens" take the mike...

...and finally - a song that caught everyone by surprise, when in 1986 it almost knocked A-Ha off the top of the charts in the UK...

Many Happy Returns, Nana Mouskouri (born Ioanna Mouschouri, 13th October 1934)

Saturday, 12 October 2019

Totty of the Day..., and every day!

Many happy returns, Mr Hugh Michael Jackman AC (born 12th October 1968)


Friday, 11 October 2019

Molly coddled?

Van Damme-it!

It's pissing down, grey and miserable here today - but who gives a toss, when the weekend is almost upon us?

We need something funky to get ourselves into the grind [although I don't think I'll be attempting any Jean-Claude Van Damme splits at my age]. News of the passing of jazz-funk saxophonist Malcolm "Molly" Duncan this week prompted me to dig out this much-sampled classic [the man's finest work] by way of a tribute - and so...

...Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a good weekend, dear reader.

Thursday, 10 October 2019

Homeboys in the house, yo

Timeslip moment again...

We've been spirited into the first year of the Nineties - the year of the downfall of Margaret Thatcher, Geoffrey Howe, reunification of Germany, General Manuel Noriega, the Hubble Space Telescope, Boris Yeltsin, Iraqi invasion and annexation of Kuwait, British hostages held by Saddam Hussein, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Tim Berners-Lee, the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Britain, Poll Tax riots, Eduard Shevardnadze, IRA assassination of MP Ian Gow, Tamil Tigers, Three Tenors, Commonwealth Games, Baywatch, the Strangeways Prison riot, Emperor Akihito, BSE, Pretty Woman, Uachtarán Mary Robinson, the human genome project, recession, Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey, Days of Thunder, freedom for Nelson Mandela, the arrival of the Mitchell brothers "Grant" and "Phil" in Eastenders, and the removal of the definition of homosexuality as a "disease" by the WHO; the year of the births of Princess Eugenie of York, Poundland, Rita Ora, Emma Watson, BBC Radio 5, RHS Hampton Court Palace Flower Show, Eric Saade, Jennifer Lawrence and Namibia; and the year Sarah Vaughan, the Eastern Bloc, Greta Garbo, Leonard Bernstein, Barbara Stanwyck, Pearl Bailey, Gordon Jackson, Ava Gardner, Terry-Thomas, Sammy Davis Jr., Rex Harrison, Leonard Sachs, Johnnie Ray, Ian Charleson, Paulette Goddard, Roald Dahl, Xavier Cugat, Aaron Copland and Malcolm Muggeridge all died.

In the news headlines in October twenty-nine years ago: the UK government made its ill-fated decision to enter the European Exchange Rate Mechanism (ERM) [which led to the "Black Wednesday" crash two years later], former PM Edward Heath successfully negotiated with Saddam Hussain for the release of British hostages held in Iraq, the black-red-yellow flag was raised above the Brandenburg Gate for the ceremony of German reunification, Mikhail Gorbachev was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, and South Africa ended segregation of libraries, trains, buses, toilets, swimming pools, and other public facilities. In our cinemas: The Little Mermaid; Ghost; La Femme Nikita. On telly: The Word, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Keeping Up Appearances and Twin Peaks.

And in our charts this week in 1990? Maria McKee's Show Me Heaven continued its run at #1, and Status Quo, Londonbeat, Pet Shop Boys, Technotronic, The Beautiful South, MC Hammer, Deeee-Lite, Bass-o-Matic [nope, me neither] and - ahem! - Bobby Vinton were all present and correct. However, still haunting the Top Ten was this long forgotten and bizarrely-already-dated number from a Dutch combo called Twenty 4 Seven:

I can't stand it no more, no no no!


Wednesday, 9 October 2019

It's not going to change me

A total numpty who has won £170m on the Lottery has claimed he will not let it change him, even though that is manifestly the whole point.

Nathan Muir of Peterborough, who should by rights be leaving his hometown on a private jet right now and never looking back, has instead claimed he will continue to be the same person even though he has more than enough cash not to be.

Muir said: “£170 million’s not going to change me. I’ll still go on holiday to a static caravan in Great Yarmouth for two weeks every summer, like a total dickhead.

“I’ll still drink in the same pub with the same mates, as if that were a definite choice I made in life and not just what I ended up doing because of a lack of other options.

“And I’m definitely not leaving Peterborough, even though I’m only here by an accident of birth and it’s shit. No, this win won’t change me at all.”

Muir then left the press conference only to return 40 seconds later, adding: “Wait. It’s just hit me. All that’s over.

“Fuck everyone I ever knew. I’m divorcing the wife, buying a massive yacht and never laying eyes on a shithole like Great Yarmouth ever again.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

I haven't had an email from the Lottery people.


Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Como se puede bailar? Es un escandolo

You know you're getting old when... find out that not only was Gwen Stefani 50 years old last week, but today Sigourney Weaver blows out 70 candles on her cake, and sharing the party with her is the 80-year old "Crocodile Dundee" Paul Hogan...

... and this Thursday would have been the 60th birthday of the sadly-missed Miss Kirsty MacColl!

Any excuse, really, to play this classic:

I once met a man with a sense of adventure
He was dressed to thrill wherever he went
He said “Let’s make love on a mountain top
Under the stars on a big hard rock”

I said “In these shoes?
I don’t think so”
I said “Honey, let’s do it here.

“So I’m sitting at a bar in Guadalajara
In walks a guy with a faraway look in his eyes
He said “I’ve got as powerful horse outside
Climb on the back, I’ll take you for a ride
I know a little place, we can get there for the break of day.”

I said “In these shoes?
No way, Jose”
I said “Honey, let’s stay right here.”

No le gusta caminar. No puede montar a caballo
(She doesn’t like to walk, she can’t ride a horse)
Como se puede bailar? Es un escandolo
(But the way she dances, it’s a scandal)

Then I met an Englishman
“Oh” he said
“Won’t you walk up and down my spine,
It makes me feel strangely alive.”

I said “In these shoes?
I doubt you’d survive.”
I said “Honey, let’s do it.
Let’s stay right here.”

Monday, 7 October 2019

Macumba magic

Grrrrr. Momma's not happy to have to get up for work again...

Still, on this Tacky Music Monday, we always have the sparkling Senorita Castro and her gays de seguridad to cheer us up!

¡Ay, caramba!

Sunday, 6 October 2019

A little party never...

After a full-on all-day session of fun, family, friends and films at our "Elton John-themed*" gathering yesterday, we're having a far quieter day today - pottering in the garden and generally avoiding the hurricane-force winds.

However, there's always room for an appropriate number to sum up the afterglow...


[*Yes! We thought Rocketman was brilliant...]

Saturday, 5 October 2019

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

We're off to spend a lengthy part of the day in the function room in a pub in Farringdon for another of our legendary Film Club gatherings - this time, the excuse being Crog's birthday. Expect lots of booze and nibbles to be consumed, jolly japes to be had...

...and Elton John! [The main film we have lined up is Rocketman.] And why not?

I think we'll definitely be doing a full re-creation of that entire dance routine this afternoon.

Friday, 4 October 2019

The best you can get 50 miles around

Oh yes - the end of another week draws ever closer, and for that we are very grateful indeed.

We have another of our notorious all-day "film club" gatherings tomorrow upstairs in a pub in Farringdon for our in-law/outlaw Crog's birthday, so that is the party-planning sorted!

All we need is something to get us in the mood... about Austria's ultimate "Love Machine" of 1977?

Thank - ahem - Disco It's Friday!

What a stud-muffin he is, too.

Have a good weekend, peeps.

Thursday, 3 October 2019

Gott gone

The curse of Dolores Delargo Towers?

It was only this July that I "rediscovered" the delights of the legendary "Frank Sinatra of the East", Mr Karel Gott - and today I find out the old boy has joined the celestial choir of Fabulon.

Hey ho, we always have this to remember him by [as first featured a decade ago on this very blog]...

RIP Karel Gott (14th July 1939 – 1st October 2019)

Wednesday, 2 October 2019

Tuesday, 1 October 2019

Something quite atrocious?

Convoluted connections and spurious excuses, #824 in a series...

Sharing her special day with the likes of Jimmy Carter, George Peppard, Tom Bosley, Stella Stevens, Keith Duffy of Boyzone, Walter Matthau, Richard Harris, Theresa May, Youssou N'Dour (60 today), Donny Hathaway and "French-cheese-turned-superhero" Brie Larson, it's Dame Julie Andrews' birthday today! She's 84, you know...

She also shares it with flamboyant conductor and violinist André Rieu, who blows out seventy candles on his cake. Here is the man himself and his mega-successful Johann Strauss Orchestra, tying up the celebrations quite neatly with one of Dame Julie's more famous numbers:

That sorted out your "Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay"s, didn't it?

Monday, 30 September 2019

I'ts never too late to have a fling; for Autumn is just as nice as Spring

Sixty-five years on from the original (at the time record-breaking) run in the West End of Sandy Wilson's The Boy Friend, the show's appeal shows no sign of diminishing. We went to see a production at the Regent's Park Open Air Theatre in 2006, and now it's back - in a new revival at the Menier Chocolate Factory!

What better way to cheer us up this Tacky Music Monday - after a murky weekend, and with the prospect of a dismal week in work to come - than with one of the show's jolliest numbers...

...with puppets?!

"Whack-a-doo, Whack-a-doo, Whack-a-doo!" Indeed.

Have a great week, peeps!

Sunday, 29 September 2019

Like a flower bending in the breeze

A very rainy view of the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers today.

Oh dear, another landmark of impending autumn is upon us - today is the feast of Michaelmas, ostensibly a date marked by the "fact" that the asters ("Michaelmas daisies") are the only plants coming into flower now. Ugly things, they are, too. Our garden on the other hand, albeit battered by the intermittent downpours we're getting lately, is still sparkling with salvias, bizzie-lizzies, thunbergia and fuchsias (and more besides).

Michaelmas myths and facts:
  • In many countries, today is when Harvest Festival celebrations take place.
  • Traditionally a special meal of "stubble-goose", i.e. one prepared around harvest time, was consumed. This allegedly began because Queen Elizabeth I was in the middle of a meal of goose when she was informed of the defeat of the Spanish Armada on this day.
  • In Scotland a special bread or cake, Sruthan Mhìcheil or Michaelmas Bannock (made with barley, oats, and rye without using any metal implements) was blessed in remembrance of absent friends or those who had died.
  • In the City of London, Michaelmas is the day when the new Lord Mayor of London is elected.
  • Blackberries should not be picked after today, apparently - because when St Michael expelled Lucifer from heaven he fell from the skies and landed in a prickly bramble bush, which he cursed, scorched them with his fiery breath, stamped, spat and urinated on them, so that they would be unfit for eating.
  • From Victorian times it was believed that Michaelmas was the best day to plant trees, for them to grow well.

And, in one of my customary "convoluted connections" to mark the occasion, here's a most appropriate "Michael" to sing for us:


Saturday, 28 September 2019

Softly falls the rain

Better than a brolly!

My, my - the murk has descended with a vengeance this week. Yesterday evening, the downpours were so torrential that I almost got stranded in Iceland [the frozen food emporium, not the country], as the storm drains flooded the roads either side. With a rather energetic (pour moi) leap, I made it across the torrent and got away home. Today, it's been constant drizzle.

Time, methinks, for another sojourn into the lives of gorgeous people cavorting around exotic places - courtesy of the ever-wonderful Soft Tempo Lounge, of course:

Oh, that's better.

[Music: Romantic Places by Nelson Riddle. Original film: Il dolce corpo di Deborah (1968)]

Friday, 27 September 2019

Feelings change just like seasons

Another week rolls to a close, amid the apocalyptic showers and rapidly-denuding trees that remind us that summer is a distant memory now, more's the pity. However, the best way to start any weekend is with a bit of a party - and who better to lead us into it than Ten City? Thank Disco(?) It's Friday!


Have a good weekend, dear reader.

Thursday, 26 September 2019

Gold crocodiles they snap their teeth on your cigarette

We're off this evening to an event at our beloved Petrie Museum - Egyptomania in the Time of Freud and Petrie, which promises, among other things: "an atmospheric window on the past evoking the era of Petrie’s archaeological discoveries. Artist Nikki Shaill will be on hand throughout the evening to analyse your inner subconscious and illustrate your dreams and nightmares, while socialite Auntie Maureen shares more music on her gramophone. Catch a pop-up talk from one of our experts in Egyptology and archaeology, and experience an extract from a new play exploring whether Freud and Petrie actually met during their lifetimes."

It should be fab!

Only one thing to play, really...

Wednesday, 25 September 2019

I still look up to him because although I have money, I am vulgar

Among a host of mismatched fellow birthday celebrants including Pedro Almodóvar, Felicity Kendal, Michael Douglas, Catherine Zeta-Jones [bizarrely, spouses who share a birthday], Juliet Prowse, Dmitri Shostakovich, Mark Hamill, Sir Colin Davis, Christopher Reeve, Mark Rothko, Aldo Ray and - ahem - Heather Locklear, the "national treasure" that was Mr Ronnie Barker would have been 90 years old today.

Here are just a few of his shining comedy moments:

There'll never be another...

Ronald William George Barker OBE (25th September 1929 – 3rd October 2005)

For the legendary "Four Candles" sketch, see my tribute to Mr Barker's "Ronnie-in-crime", Mr Corbett.