Klaatu barada nikto

Six-seven, and other bullshit Gen Z slang that's hurting them more than us

Six-seven is what the kids are saying, and you’re supposed to care. But does the new generation’s race for fresh online slang just make them easier to ignore? Let’s assess:

‘Ate’
To do something well, as in ‘ate and left no crumbs’. ‘Ate’ on its own is a pretty dull word, so it’s unlikely to catch on. Give it no further thought and leave youngsters to become as socially irrelevant at the tender age of 14 as someone saying ‘Talk to the hand!’ today.

‘Six-seven’
Making up meaningless words to annoy people is the act of a twat. When a teen uses this, reply to subsequent questions with your own gibberish. Meet ‘Can you give me a lift to Emma’s?’ with ‘Klaatu barada nikto’ and see if they think that’s fucking funny.

‘Chopped’
Meaning ‘ugly’. A gratuitous substitution. If Gen Alpha and Z continue like this they’ll ultimately become incomprehensible even to each other, leaving them all wandering around aimlessly, unable to organise simple things like getting pissed in the park because it comes out as: ‘Fish manga cubit swindle lathe ocelot, Josh?’

‘Mewing’
Popularised by a kid called the Rizzler – don’t bother Googling the little shit – this is holding your tongue against the roof of your mouth to improve your facial structure permanently. There is no fucking way this works and if you do it, you are wrong.

‘Washed’
As in washed-up, which Gen Z are surprised the pop singers they ran a stan IG about three years ago are now because they haven’t had another hit. Happens to us all, kids. Specifically it will absolutely happen to you.

‘Generational’
Replacing ‘iconic’ as the misused word to describe anything they believe is good. ‘Sabrina Carpenter had a generational run’, for example, about three singles last year one of which you’re already struggling to recall the tune or title of.

‘Onika burger’
A version of ‘ate’ but referencing Nicki Minaj’s real name Onika and the phat ass she supposedly acquired from burgers. Its appeal is that it’s nonsensical and confusing to those not in on the joke. So by thinking ‘fuck right off’ you’re playing into their hands.

‘Sigma’
Someone who is successful and self-reliant, but unlike an ‘alpha’ he acts as a ‘lone wolf’. We definitely need more words to encourage the macho fantasies of delusional men, so enjoy watching this tosser discover he’s as mediocre as anyone else.

‘Fanum tax’
Playfully helping yourself to someone else’s food. Admittedly handy to have a term for, just not this one. Named after Fanum, a Twitch streamer who adopts a character for his videos. He won ‘Best Roleplay Streamer’ at the 2023 Streamer Awards. Generational.

‘Pookie’
Means cute and doubles as a term of endearment. It’s shit, cloying and embarrassing, but saying it is its own punishment. It won’t take most people long to realise they don’t actually want to have sex or a relationship with a bellend who calls them ‘Pookie’.

The Daily Mash

Of course.

The word ‘reliable’ has lost all meaning to us

The inclusion of ‘skibidi’ and ‘tradwife’ in the Cambridge Dictionary means it has been forced to remove ‘self-respect’ from its pages.

Having once again sullied the hallowed pages of its dictionary by including vapid slang popularised by social media cretins, Cambridge University Press has omitted definitions of honour and dignity from its latest edition.

Lexicographer Julian Cook said: “We had room. We could easily have squeezed ‘self-respect’ in on page 948. But sadly, the word has lost all meaning to us.

“We studied its definition for hours but we couldn’t make sense of it. Apparently it’s all about having an internal sense of worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. That won’t trend on TikTok, fam!

“Instead we’ve crammed in words like ‘delulu’ and ‘broligarchy’ that have at least another three months of common usage. If that comes at the cost of this so-called intrinsic value, it’s a price worth paying.

“Language is constantly evolving and it’s our job to reflect that. I can already see us cutting words like ‘reliable’, ‘learning’ and ‘resource’ from next year’s dictionary.”

17-year-old James Bates said: “Nothing kills off slang quicker than academic endorsement. We’re going to have to make up new bollocks now.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]

Are you a muffin-walloper?

From The Guardian:

Like language, our emotions are universal and whatever fears and anxieties we are now experiencing, someone else in centuries gone by has felt the same way. Here is an A-Z of archaic and forgotten words that at some point in the past exactly described an elusive sense of peace, calm and delight. So, if you want to know your agathism from your euneirophrenia, read on and draw comfort from these linguistic oddities:

• Agathism
  It’s hard to be an optimist knowing that there are tough times ahead. But in lieu of optimism, there’s always agathism – a word coined in 1830 for the belief that all things eventually get better, though the means by which they do is not always easy. It is a word to remind us that though we may be in for hard times, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
• Bummel
  Our daily constitutional needn’t be an exhausting run around the block. Derived from a German word for “strolling”, a bummel is nothing more than a relaxing leisurely walk or wander.
• Concubium
  Adopted into English from Latin in the 1600s, the concubium is the soundest, calmest, deepest part of your sleep. “That time of night when all men are at rest”, as one 17th-century dictionary put it.
• Dolorifuge
  Whatever it is that makes you happy, that is your dolorifuge: this 19th-century term describes anything or anyone that alleviates feelings of pain or sadness.
• Euneirophrenia
  One of the strangest side-effects of our curtailed routines at the moment is that our brains are working overtime while we sleep, so the word “euneirophrenia” might come in useful. It describes the wholly pleasing feeling you have on waking from an equally pleasant dream.
• Focillation
  Derived from the Latin for “nourish”, a focillation is a momentary act of comfort or refreshment. Take it as a reminder that it is perfectly fine to take some time out, whenever you need it.
• Glee-dream
  If you find solace in films or music, or find that you’re dearly missing the theatre or cinema, the word you are looking for is glee-dream. The modern form of the Old English “gleodream”, the Oxford English Dictionary defines this as “delight of minstrelsy” – that is, the pleasure that comes from a musical performance or similar entertainment.
• Heterocentric
  How we all should – and, thankfully, how a great many of us currently are – living our lives: if you’re heterocentric then you’re more concerned with other people than you are yourself.
• Interfulgent
  A fitting metaphor for the triumph of light in dark times. Derived from the Latin word for “shining”, something that is interfulgent shines through or between that which would otherwise obscure it – as sunshine through clouds or the leaves of trees.
• Jamb-friend
  A jamb is a supporting timber, of course, which makes a jamb-friend an early 19th-century word for a friend with whom you could quite happily sit by a fireside talking and relaxing well into the early hours.
• Kaffeeklatsch
  Borrowed from German in the 1800s, a kaffeeklatsch is a chattering catch-up with friends and family over endless cups of coffee. It’s a lot more poetic than the Victorian alternative: according to one contemporary dictionary, “scandal-loving women” who like to “meet over a cup of tea” were once known as muffin-wallopers.
• Laetificate
  It’s a word not much used since the 1600s, but it’s one you might need today – or might be called on to offer to someone else. Quite simply, to laetificate is to lift someone’s spirits.
• Meliorism
  George Eliot coined the word “meliorism” to define her outlook on life, once writing to the psychologist James Sully to explain that: “I don’t know that I ever heard anybody use the word ‘meliorist’ except myself.” Operating halfway between optimism and realism, meliorism is the belief that the world – no matter what shape it may be in – can always be improved by the concerted effort of mankind.
• Nikhedonia
  Nike was the Greek goddess of victory. Hedone (as in hedonism) was a Greek word for pleasure. Put those two together and you have nikhedonia – a term from psychology for the inspiring, adrenalin-raising excitement of anticipating a future success.
• Omnibenevolence
  Just as an omnipotent person has power over everything, an omnibenevolent person exhibits kindness to everything and everyone. That endless, all-encompassing compassion is omnibenevolence.
• Peeled-egg
  We’re all guilty of worrying that the worst could suddenly befall us, but rarely imagine that something just as unexpectedly wonderful could take place. JRR Tolkien coined the word “eucatastrophe” to describe an unforeseen event of sheer good fortune, but the Scots beat him to it. First recorded in Scottish proverbs dating from the 1800s, a peeled-egg is: “A stroke of good fortune which one has not had to strive for.” It was once a popular name given to farms established on land with unanticipated natural advantages.
• Queem
  Something described as queem is perfectly calm or serene – or by extension, perfectly smooth and level. Queemness, likewise, can be used to describe perfect serenity, or perfect smoothness and levelness, while two things that work queemly with one another are either perfectly harmonious, or, like two parts of a joint, snug and well adapted to one another.
• Retrouvailles
  Adopted from French, retrouvailles literally means “refinding” – but it’s more usually understood as the French equivalent of what we might call a reunion or homecoming. Recently the word came to be used more imaginatively to describe the utter happiness or joy sparked by reuniting or catching up with someone you haven’t seen in a long time. A word well worth recalling in the months ahead.
• Supernaculum
  It might be a fine glass of wine or whisky – or nothing more than a perfectly brewed and timed cup of tea. A supernaculum is a drink so appreciated that it is savoured to its very last drop.
• Traumatropism
  A tree partly felled by gales or lightning can often continue growing – albeit in some ever more unwieldy or implausible shape. That undeterred response to earlier damage is an example of a phenomenon called traumatropism. Taken literally, it reminds us that nature is stronger and more resilient than we could ever imagine; metaphorically, it tells us that harsh setbacks need not end our progress.
• Unsoulclogged
  It’s not the most handsome of words, but we’re all striving to be unsoulclogged. It is total contentment, peace of mind, and freedom from sadness and dejection – or, as one 1881 dictionary defined it, the state of “not being weighed down in spirit”.
• Villeggiatura
  When you’re tired of the city or your usual routine, it’s time for a villeggiatura. Adopted into English from Italian in the 18th century, a villeggiatura is a restorative trip or holiday to the countryside, taken to lift the spirits and unwind the mind.
• Worldcraft
  Ageing is hardly the most welcome of life’s certainties. But for every word to remind us of its drawbacks (to be eildencumbered is to be held back by age), there is one for its seldom considered positives. Worldcraft is an 18th-century word for the unmatched cumulative wisdom of an aged person whose long life has given them unique and much venerated insight – far beyond anything a younger, less experienced person could ever imagine.
• Xenodochy
  Hospitality offered to strangers. The prefix xeno comes from the Greek word for “strange” or “foreign”, but we only tend to encounter it today in xenophobia. Now seems an apt time to highlight one of its overlooked opposites.
• Yahrsider
  We are all looking out for our yahrsiders at the moment. A dialect term from the 18th century, a yahrsider is someone from the same family or town as you, or who shares the same community spirit.
• Zenobia
  A courageous and effective third-century queen of Palmyra, Zenobia expanded her kingdom into the almighty Palmyrene Empire, stretching from Ankara to Aswan. Her name has been adopted as a term for a powerful, unstoppably determined woman.

So which words are going to enter your lexicon, dear reader?

I think I may be a Gongoozler, or maybe even a Mumpsimus

I am definitely going to have to try and find a way to get each and every one of these "lost expressions" - as investigated by BBC Radio 4's literature programme Word of Mouth - into casual conversation this week.

1. Owl Jacket
Taken from the Italian ‘Giacca civetta', which refers to a jacket left on the back of a chair at work, so it looks like you are in the office working, rather than skiving at Costa.

2. Flype
An Old English word meaning to roll up your socks, stockings, leggings or jeggings, before putting them on.

3. Leper juice
An old medical term that refers to the pus found in the wounds of the afflicted. Thankfully it fell out of use due to its general horribleness.

4. Vizzying-hole
A Scots word for a peephole in a door, derived from the Old French word visée meaning ‘look’.

5. Uhtceare
An Old English word meaning to lie awake anxiously before dawn.

6. Sloom
To gently sleep or lightly slumber, from the Middle English slumen and the Old English slūmian.

7. Biffin
A deep red cooking apple. The name derives from ‘beefing’, in reference to the colour of the fruit. People would often exchange biffins at Christmastime.

8. Gongoozler
A person who likes to mindlessly stare (at anything). If only we all had more time to stare idly and do nothing. Turns out this old word has been adopted by canal boat residents and survives there to this day.

9. Snollygoster
A 19th century American term for an unprincipled, dishonest person, especially a politician.

10. Mumpsimus
An obstinate person who holds on rigidly to a certain set of beliefs even though they are wrong or disproved. The term may have been coined by Erasmus.

11. Wamblecropt
To have digestive issues that are so severe, you can’t physically move.

12. Groke
An old Scots word originally used to describe dogs staring longingly at food in order to be given some, but extended to refer to anyone gazing at grub.

13. Trullibubs
Another word for a person’s entrails, but can also be an insulting term aimed at an overweight person.

14. Sprunt
Not the soft drink that Alan Partridge was sponsored by, but a Victorian-era Scottish word meaning to chase girls around a haystack after dark. Possibly a combination of ‘spring’ and ‘hunt’.

Why don't you try them too, dear reader..?

It's only words...

"Portmanteaus are generally obnoxious. Putting two words together to create a new word is not a unique, creative skill. It's lazy kitsch."

I stumbled across a most excellent article today - Top 10 Words That Need To Die, Immediately by Rob Hart, writing for a site called LitReactor. In it, he berates the rubbish words that litter conversations and so-called journalism these days.

In Rob's list, he includes several bugbears of mine that have driven me to apoplexy in recent years, including such loathsome constructs as "bromance", "foodie" and "irregardless", as well as social-media-crap words like "fail", "nom", "totes" and "LOL".

Rob's readers came up with some that are equally deserving of scorn, such as "chillax", "troll", "diss", "OMG", "factoid", "on trend", "impactful" and "amazeballs" and the over-use or misuse of "literally", "weird", "random" and "awesome". One comment in particular made me chuckle: "unless your drunken night involved a sword, it was not 'epic'."

I could add many bêtes noires of my own to the list, not least the "management-speak" evils of "hub", "guesstimate", "integrated", "leveraging" and "synergy", or such inept "street" words/phrases as "my bad", "no problemo" or "twerk". I would implement an immediate ban on the word "like" when used as a "filler" word, or in place of "said" ("And she was, like, 'Don't diss me', like."). [The late, great Christopher Hitchens agreed.]

Like the author, I too despise lazy portmanteau words - particular irritants I have come across include "staycation", "advertorial", "prequel" (and, even worse, just yesterday I audibly gasped when I read an article in which the term "spinquel" was used; how horrible!), "frenemy", "docudrama" and "webinar". I particularly hate references to celebrities and celebrity couples as an amalgam of names ("Brangelina" and "R-Patz" are vile examples).

And all this was prompted by... Today's newspaper headlines (even in the normally stuffy Telegraph!) referring to something called "Grexit", yet another lazy way of talking about Greece's proposed exit from the European Monetary Union. I despair.

I know that bloggers (a word that is itself a "portmanteau") are a pernickety bunch.

So what words, dear reader, really get up your nose?

The cold-blooded murder of the English tongue

Charabanc trip


Croydon Aerodrome

So charabanc* and aerodrome are considered to be obsolete words, are they? Not here at Dolores Delargo Towers, they're not!

Read more in The Telegraph

We make every effort to promote such delicious words as palimpsest, flapdoodle and calumny, and refuse to call a turfing iron a spade...

And don't even get me started on the ruination of the spoken language!

Rex Harrison - My Fair Lady - Why Can't The English?

[*charabanc is apparently a French phrase meaning "carriage with benches"]

I could slap this fopdoodle

In an obvious irony of fate, while watching this evening a fabulous examination of the life of that literary giant Dr Samuel Johnson, I stumbled across a ghastly piece on the BBC website.

An illiterate American called Masha (sic) Bell, member of the sinisterly named "Simplified Spelling Society", truly believes that bastardisation of the English language is the way forward - as if America has not been responsible for enough disruption in our fine language!

And I quote, "Worldwide, English spelling wastes zillions, not onely in terms of time and effort, but in real munny too: for remedial education and to suport functionally illiterate adults. The latter ar also mor likely to becum yung singl parents, end up in jail, be adicted tu drugs and alcohol and hav poor helth."

I despair! Our education system struggles enough with the social problems of a generation brought up on rap, text messaging and videogame-speak, without some bored Yank offering validation of the breed of ignorant youth that litters our streets by publishing this kind of clap-trap!

Read a debate between the fragrant Masha and a real person, one with an education and a vocabulary, in the BBC online magazine.

Read more of Dr Johnson and his ground-breaking dictionary