Of po-faces (British and French), Tom of Finland and Matilda, Weller's ex, avian wanking and a Colombian diva

Clematis “General Sikorski” is scaling the heights of the downpipe outside our back door! [click to embiggen]

It's another snippets post, dear reader:

• NIMBY news: The joyless arseholes calling themselves "The Soho Society" have declared that they will oppose every new and renewed alcohol licence in the area, causing a backlash from The Mayor and local businesses. This ain't rural Surrey, dears - without pubs, Soho will be yet another dead space in the heart of London's West End!
• Puffins and porn news: The world’s largest space dedicated to illustration, and named after one of the UK's most beloved illustrators of children's books (in particular those of Roald Dahl), the Quentin Blake Centre at New River Head in Clerkenwell opened its doors on Friday. Surprisingly, amongst all the Moomins, Where the Wild Things Are, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, Puffin Books and so forth, there's a display of Tom of Finland's graphic gay artwork! Possibly worth a visit...

• Scary how time flies: Former backing singer for Wham!, Style Council ingenue (and former Mrs Paul Weller) Dee C Lee celebrated her - gulp - 65th birthday yesterday! She only ever had one solo hit, but what a classic it is:

Dee C Lee - See The Day

• Po-faced Lefties news: Speaking of "joyless", over in France the massive gastronomic (and boozy) gatherings known as banquets géants have become quite "the thing" for young hedonists. Step forward radical left party La France Insoumise (LFI - France Unbowed), which has accused the events of being a mask for nationalism and not representative of "...modern France, which is a place rich in its diversity." Proof, if ever any were needed, that "politically correct" people simply do not understand the concept of FUN...
• Doing what comes naturally news: Birds wank, scientists have observed.
• And finally: RIP, the esteemed Colombian singer Totó la Momposina. Nope, me neither - then I looked her up, and found this!

Totó La Momposina - La Candela Viva

Perfect for a Sunday.

And the weather? All over the place! Still blustery and battering our garden, but at least the rain held off today. Until tonight...

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PS:

The demon spawn next door have been screaming all afternoon on their fucking trampoline. Thanks to a discovery by Madam Arcati, we have the perfect answer:

A pub or a crèche?

A man is unable to tell if he is enjoying a pint in his favourite boozer or a rowdy nursery for parents and their newborn children.

Norman Steele was left confused by the presence of pub paraphernalia like beer taps and a fruit machine next to crèche shit like mums and dads cradling their incessantly shrieking spawn.

He said: “My senses don’t know what to think. It looks like the same old place where grumpy bastards come to drink their lives away, only there’s prams and colouring pads and tiny bawling humans everywhere. Maybe I’ve gone insane.

“If this was a pub then I should only be able to hear slurred chatter punctuated by the occasional rustling of crisp packets, yet I can distinctly make out the deafening cries of babies and the futile bargaining of their parents.

“On the other hand, a crèche should be filled with exciting toys and colourful furniture. Not a dart board and a floor soaked with American pale ale. The big telly with Sky Sports on it probably wouldn’t go amiss though.”

Mother of one Grace Wood-Morris said: “You’re better off going to a crèche if you want a quiet pint. Me and my friends and our many children are going to be here all day, and Christ knows we need a drink to get through it.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Spawn and Spain

The Demon Spawn have not stopped this weekend. Not for a second. From 7am to midnight.

Just two full weeks to go before we'll be rid of them, thank goodness!

Let's have little Spanish moment, methinks - just to remind us that after the dust settles on this arduous move, we have a week in Spain to look forward to in just under three weeks' time...

Here's a gorgeous little number by today's birthday girl Signorina Valente [still with us, thankfully!], accompanied in this clip by the shimmying talents of Signorinas Lollobrigida and Loren and Miss Gardner:

Caterina Valente - Malagueña

Many happy returns, Caterina Valente (born 14th January 1931)

As around the sun the earth knows she's revolving

I am heartily sick of the sight of Sellotape and boxes. It's not until one starts packing stuff up (for our impending move) that it becomes obvious what hoarders we actually are.

Time, methinks, for a moment of calm - and, as it's the birthday of Mary J Bilge [pun intended] today, I think this one - probably the only song I can actually tolerate of hers (purely because the late, dearly departed George Michael is on it) - fits the bill very nicely...

George Michael and Mary J Blige - As

Now, if only the Demon Spawn upstairs would shut the fuck up (still crashing around and screaming at almost eleven o'clock!}, I would be completely de-stressed...

Gotta get my gear out ready for a winter spill

Having spent all day yesterday with "our gang" - at one of our newest innovations, a "Film Club" - drinking vast quantities of alcohol, and watching hours of campery (the Technicolour remake of The Prisoner of Zenda, followed by The Grand Budapest Hotel), I was in need of a lie-in. No such luck, as the demon spawn upstairs decided that destroying furniture while screaming at the tops of their lungs was a good idea at 9am on a Sunday...

...and to top it all, the world turned white overnight (which will make a trip to the shops that little bit more tedious than usual)!

Hey ho. We might as well welcome the arrival of winter proper with a suitable number, courtesy of former Edwin Starr protégé turned Hi-NRG singer Mis Laura Pallas:

Laura Pallas - Ski-Ing In The Snow

Let's hope I stay vertical.

Thought for the day

...from the public spirited burghers of Scarfolk Council.

Suffer little children

I was jolted from my slumber this morning by the cacophonous noise of screaming, crashing and banging from the "demon spawn" upstairs. It turns out there were visitors up there (on a Sunday morning??); three children in total. I am in a foul mood...

Now that they have finally gone out, I am in need of a little peace and quiet.

What better than the music of one genius (Beethoven) played by another master (Barenboim) to soothe the mood?

Daniel Barenboim plays Ludwig van Beethoven - "Pathétique" - Piano Sonata No. 8. II Adagio Cantabile

Oh, that's better...

Slipper or cake?

Despite the lovely weather, winter has started to make itself felt in London - slightly sparkly roofs this morning, and the single-figure night-time temperatures mean that the central heating is now on all the time. To add insult to injury, we have acquired new upstairs neighbours... who have small children! It's only been one day of the incessant running up-and-down across our ceiling, but I am already wound up to the "Nth degree". If it keeps up, we may have to start planning to move. Oh dear.

Never mind, eh? With another lovely and - ahem - rewarding week in work to come, we are definitely in need of some cheering up. What better distraction on this Tacky Music Monday than Miss Leslie Caron and Mr Michael Wilding camping it up performing a lovely bit of ballet, in this glittering scene from The Glass Slipper?

Palace Kitchen Ballet scene from The Glass Slipper (1955)

Have a good week, folks!

Rock-a-bye baby

Devil Baby Attack

That's enough to knock the "maternal instinct" out of most people!