Dear Mr Peenee - purveyor of filth by appointment to the Blogosphere - has reminded me once again that yesterday was "International Talk Like A Pirate Day", so once again I am late to the hornpipe... [Fnaar, fnaar!]
To make up for that egregious oversight - this!
You, too can talk like a pirate - with this handy phrasebook.
Arrr!
Another snippets post today, dear reader:
The weather? Rather lovely at the moment...
Ahoy, Ye Landlubbers!
It might well be Jarvis Cocker's (gulp!) 60th birthday, Jeremy Irons' (gulp) 75th, and David McCallum's (bigger gulp) 90th, as well as the birthdays of Kate Adie, Nile Rodgers, Twiggy, Freda Payne, Lol Creme of 10CC, Zandra Rhodes, Rosemary Harris and the late, great Mama Cass. It may be Independence Day in St Kitts and Nevis, World Reflexology Week and indeed Organic September...
However, there really is only one reason [as Mr Peenee recently reminded us] to celebrate today - it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day!!
Arrrr!
Without further ado, here's a jolly little sing-a-long that I deem to be most appropriate for this - ahem!! - serene and respectful day.
All together, now!
'Twas on the good ship Venus
By Christ, you should've seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast was a mammoth penis
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do!
The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play
On his fucking organ
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do!
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Till they crushed his cock with a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy
The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fucking nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do!
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To fuck she was not able
So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
Across the bar-room table
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do!
Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum.
Indeed.
Aaaar!
Avast behind!
If you'd like to join in, here's a handy English-to-Pirate translator.
