Showing posts with label Krampus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Krampus. Show all posts

Friday, 5 December 2025

We had it all - thirteen inches!

Another dull, tedious week in work drags its sorry arse to a close... Thank gawd!

I think we deserve a paaaarty!

This is more often than not the traditional spot where I hanker after spangles, sequins and cheesy bells-and-whistles, and post something of that ilk - but how about on this occasion we ramp up the ante a little? I've been trawling through the archives, and stumbled across a choon that I loved twelve years ago - and, unsurprisingly, it got me "moving in a rhythmical fashion" [see Mr DeVice's recent post for the discussion on that] all over again!

Thank Disco House It's Friday!

Have a faboo weekend, dear reader!


FOOTNOTE:

It's Krampusnacht again!!

Let's revisit that thirteen-inch tongue...

[Click the "Krampus" label at the foot of this post for more on him.]

Sunday, 8 December 2024

Of sackings, shoes, Tallulah and Darragh

It's another snippets post, dear reader...

  • Dance with the Devil news: Poor Prince William had to put on his best statesmanly grimace for a meeting with President-elect Trump in Paris to discuss "the special relationship" between the UK and the US.

  • Auntie Beeb does it again news: In another in a long line of "let's really piss our loyal audience off" moves [see also Paul O'Grady and Clare Teal], one of our favourite broadcasters, host of Radio 3's In Tune for 27 years Sean Rafferty has been unceremoneously replaced axed! We are so pissed off. Again.

    Mind you, the "send-off" on his last show on Friday was a remarkably emotional show of support - as the "great and the good" of the classical world and beyond turned up to play and sing music, and make toasts all dedicated to him, including Ailish Tynan, Marcus Farnsworth, Nicky Spence, Barokksolistene, Anna Tilbrook, Dame Sarah Connolly, Angela Hewitt, Elena Urioste, Tom Poster, Guy Johnston, fellow Radio 3 presenter Tom Service, and none other than Dame Joanna Lumley!

  • It'll still be dry as fuck news: Xmas turkeys are on sale in Holland Park in London [Eddie and Patsy's neighbourhood], ranging from £81.13 for a 6lb bird to a whopping £363.38 for a 28-pounder! I think we'll stick to pork. Or duck. Or anything that tastes nicer than turkey.
  • Pity she's a whore news: Remarkably, an archaic police power - the issue of a "prostitute's caution", that, unlike any other similar sanction, remains on record for life - is still being exercised in the UK today! No wonder the girls are angry about it.
  • There's expensive shoes, and then there's bloody expensive shoes: Those ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland that went to auction with a pre-sale estimate of £4 million? Ah, yes. They sold for $28 million (£22m)!! There's some rich queens out there...

  • And finally: RIP, Broadway trouper Miss Helen Gallagher, at the ripe old age of 98. She wasn't exactly a "household name", but I discovered this marvellous little video of her performing as Tallulah Bankhead which suggests she would indeed have been "our kind of girl"...

And the weather? Another cunty "named storm" - Storm Darragh - has battered the crap out of Wales and the West of England, and even here in London the gales are fierce!


STOP PRESS:

Sorry, Krampus!

...we missed your "Nacht"!

Tuesday, 5 December 2023

It's time for a thirteen-inch tongue again

Happy Krampusnacht!!

I have, of course, featured our favourite "horny beast" - the "anti-Santa", scourge of wicked children everywhere - here many times before [check the label at the foot of this blog post for more]. He is rather a hero, after all!

From All That's Interesting blog:

Krampus comes to town the night before the Feast of Saint Nicholas and visits all the houses to dish out his punishments.

If you’re lucky, you might just get swatted with a birch branch. If you’re not, you’ll wind up in the sack. After that, your fate is anyone’s guess. The legends suggest you might be eaten as a snack, drowned in a river, or even dropped off in Hell.

Sometimes Krampus is accompanied by Saint Nicholas, who isn’t known to bother himself with naughty children in Central Europe. Instead, he focuses on handing out presents to well-behaved kids and then leaves the rest up to his sinister counterpart.

How did Krampus become a regular part of holiday fun in places like Austria, Bavaria, the Czech Republic, and Slovenia? Nobody is entirely certain.

But most people believe that Krampus originally hails from the Alpine region’s pagan past. His name comes from the German word krampen, which means “claw,” and he bears a striking resemblance to the old Norse legends about the son of Hel, the god of the underworld.

It’s a compelling theory, especially since Krampus’ appearance coincides with a number of pagan winter rites [including the ancient Perchten rite of driving out evil spirits].

Enduring into the modern age, there are Krampus-related events across the world [not least last weekend's in the UK's "Goth Capital" Whitby] - and, of course, tribute songs...

Oooooo Is that a Krampus?

He will hit you with his sticks
and lick you with his tongue...
13 inches long.

Do you hear what I hear?
Sleigh Bells in Hell.
We are not alone here.
Chains on the tree.
Do you hear what I hear?
Unwrap your fears.
Krampus...
Jesus isn't here!

Who's been bad and
who's been naughty?
You'll get more than coal.
Santa has a friend...
A black and hairy man.

Little goat feet in the parlor;
he's pulling on your hair.
Chains you up, inside a sack
and throws you in the air.

Do you hear what I hear?
Sleigh Bells in Hell.
We are not alone here.
Chains on the tree.
Do you hear what I hear?
Unwrap your fears.
Krampus...
Jesus isn't here!

Sleigh bells in Hell
Chains on the Tree
Surf's up Krampus

Krampus time is Christmas time,
Christmas time is Krampus time of year!

Bye Bye!

I never tire of it.

Monday, 5 December 2022

Horny devil

Grrrrr! Another (chilly, according to the forecast) week begins.

But at least I am getting in the swing of the season. For today is the celebration of everyone's favourite horny demon with a thirteen-inch tongue - Krampus! A feared monster of Old European Yuletide folklore, he punishes naughty children, swatting them with switches and rusty chains before dragging them, in baskets, to a fiery place below. He's a kindred spirit.

And on this Tacky Music Monday, here's a jolly little ditty by way of a celebration (and to wake us all up):

Have a good week, dear reader.

More Krampus here

Saturday, 5 December 2020

Horny with a 13 inch tongue, back again

It's a special day, dear reader!

From this very blog back in 2013:

Allegedly experiencing a bit of a revival in popularity "as a reaction against a holiday that has become increasingly anodyne, child-centric and commercialised, and [in] an attempt to re-engage with a darker, pagan tradition", according to The Guardian, every Yuletide Krampus - the ancient goat-demon from Germany; the "anti-Santa" - appears armed with a rusty chain to beat naughty children and a sack to cart them off to the underworld.

There is also an annual Krampuslauf - or Krampus run - in which drunken men dressed as devils parade through the streets frightening everyone.

And from 2015:

...across Germanic and middle European lands it is Krampusnacht - the night the demon spirit Krampus comes to punish all naughty boys! [And girls, apparently.]

I am preparing my horn-headed outfit as we speak, replete with chains, lumps of coal and birch twigs.

'Tis the loveliest time of the year, indeed. And here's a special song about it, courtesy of a "performance artist" called Actually; actually...
He will hit you with his sticks
and lick you with his tongue...
13 inches long.


Slurp.
Happy Krampusnacht, dear reader!

Try not to wear out your birch twings, or indeed, your tongue.

Thursday, 3 December 2015

Horny with a 13 inch tongue



I have (of course) written about my favourite festivity at this time of year before.

No! Not the dreaded Xmas. It is a celebration of a legend that sounds far more fun...

This coming weekend, across Germanic and middle European lands it is Krampusnacht - the night the demon spirit Krampus comes to punish all naughty boys! [And girls, apparently.]

I am preparing my horn-headed outfit as we speak, replete with chains, lumps of coal and birch twigs.

'Tis the loveliest time of the year, indeed. And here's a special song about it, courtesy of a "performance artist" called Actually; actually...


He will hit you with his sticks
and lick you with his tongue...
13 inches long.


Slurp.

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Krampus, Ren, Stimpy and me



Allegedly experiencing a bit of a revival in popularity "as a reaction against a holiday that has become increasingly anodyne, child-centric and commercialised, and [in] an attempt to re-engage with a darker, pagan tradition", according to The Guardian, every Yuletide Krampus - the ancient goat-demon from Germany; the "anti-Santa" - appears armed with a rusty chain to beat naughty children and a sack to cart them off to the underworld.

There is also an annual Krampuslauf - or Krampus run - in which drunken men dressed as devils parade through the streets frightening everyone.

Krampus is apparently a traditional part of Germany's Christmas celebrations, accompanying St Nicholas on his feast-day rounds on the eve of 6th December, known as Krampusnacht.


More about Krampus

I like the idea of this demon creature. He seems most appropriate - for today marks the start of the traditional (evil) seven-day countdown to that day here at Dolores Delargo Towers. And, in a style befitting our respect for this "festering season", here's I Hate Christmas by the ever-wonderful Ren from The Ren & Stimpy Show...


Every Christmas, I am listless
Giving gifts just ain’t my bag
Sleigh bells ringing, and off key singing,
Christmas music makes me gag!


Ren & Stimpy's Crock'o'Christmas

Bah Humbug.