Totty of the Day

"I'm one of those people you hate because of genetics. It's the truth."

"When you see a person, do you just concentrate on their looks? It's just a first impression. Then there's someone who doesn't catch your eye immediately, but you talk to them and they become the most beautiful thing in the world. The greatest actors aren't what you would call beautiful sex symbols."

"Fame makes you feel permanently like a girl walking past construction workers."

"Heartthrobs are a dime a dozen."

Speaking of Mad About The Boy... It's another "Fabulous at 50" birthday today that we simply have to celebrate, dear reader.

Mr Brad Pitt!

Needless to say, of course, I would...

William Bradley "Brad" Pitt (born 18th December 1963)

Whoooo?

Fabulous at 50.

Happy birthday to The Doctor...





























...WHOever you may be...

Ron Grainer - Doctor Who theme 1963-1969

Dr Who (23rd November 1963 - present)

Uptown Downstairs

For once, a "fabulous at 50" birthday has come around that actually makes me feel OK about being this age.

Who'd have thought that the stuffy, old Lord Grantham - aka Hugh Bonneville - was only 50? Anyway, happy birthday Hugh!

As clips of Downton Abbey are likely to contain spoilers (we haven't actually watched any of the latest series; we tend to record it and save it for a marathon sitting or two, as we did with the last one), it provides me with an opportunity to showcase the marvellous Victoria Wood and Jennifer Saunders spoof for Comic Relief Red Nose Day 2011 (also featuring Joanna Lumley, Harry Enfield, Dale Winton, Olivia Colman, Kim Cattrall and Simon Callow)!

Uptown Downstairs Abbey Part One

Uptown Downstairs Abbey Part Two

Love it!

Pop-trash-tastic

It's another "fabulous at fifty" birthday today - Miss Sinitta Renay Malone!

Despite being famous for only a few camp Hi-NRG hits three decades ago, her on-off relationship with the mega-powerful TV mogul Simon Cowell has assured that Amii Stewart's favourite niece has remained in the spotlight for decades since (even if that "relationship" is yet again suffering the indignities of tabloid frenzy of late).

Good luck to her - she gave us all a fab few moments in the 80s. I can smell the poppers even as I play this - it's the pop-trash-tastic Toy Boy!

Sinitta - Toy Boy

Toy boy, toy boy!

Everybody's talking when they see me walking
With this little boy of mine

He's my play thing and I love him
I dress him up looking fine
He ain't got money
People think it's funny
He gives me everything I need

He's my playboy and my love toy
And I want everyone to know
He's my toy boy toy boy
I'm out with my toy boy toy boy

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night

When I want a lover
Don't need any other
I know he'll come running to me

He's my gigolo and my Romeo
And I want everyone to know
He's my toy boy toy boy
I'm out with my toy boy toy boy

Speaking of toy boys, I still can't believe the bitch shagged Brad Pitt...



Many happy returns!

Sinitta official website

Bags and baggage

It's a time of "all change" for one of the biggest gay icons of couture Mr Marc Jacobs (who I sadly neglected to mention was "fabulous at fifty" in April).

No sooner has the dust settled on the news he is to leave the luxury fashion house Louis Vuitton to concentrate on his own eponymous brand, than his latest flame, the - ahem! - hugely talented gay porn star (and house fave here at Dolores Delargo Towers) Mr Harry Louis [Link NSFW] has posted this message on the web:

"I would like to be the first one to share with you all the news... Me and Marc have decided not carry on with our relationship as boyfriends... The distance and lack of time because of work schedules aren't really something realistic, and he's such a beautiful and amazing person, that I think he deserve a bf who will stay at least in one of the cities that he leaves in... Also, I need that too... We love each other very much, and that it was a decision from both!!!! Every special minute we've spent together will be treasured, and a new chapter of our both lives has started... Both of us focusing in work, and make it work!!!! So, for those who were always supportive of us, please don't be sad, live goes on, to all of us... And for those who were praying that this day were coming, there you have... Marc Jacobs and Harry Louis aren't officially a couple anymore!"

In case you are still at a loss about Mr Louis' - star of such titles as Balls to the Wall and After Hours - attractions, you should visit his page on the x-rated Lucas Entertainment website.

As for Louis Vuitton, the announcement of Mr Jacobs' departure was accompanied by a statement that its intention is to concentrate on "high-end" luxury goods - as if it didn't already!

Over at the Dolores Delargo Towers Museum of Camp you can watch Mr Jacobs' final show for LV.

Over here, I've found something sort-of-appropriate for the dual news in Mr Jacobs' life...

The Kingsmen - Louie Louie

Louis, Louis, indeed.

Marc Jacobs on Wikipedia

Lead me through oblivion

It's another "fabulous at 50" birthday today - many happy returns to that eternal "supporting actress" Miss Lysette Anthony!

Way back in 1980 when she was 16, photographer David Bailey labelled her the "Face of the Eighties". With that accolade to propel her Miss Anthony soon launched a successful career as a model, and later turned to acting, appearing in such classic 80s series as Auf Wiedersehen, Pet and Three Up, Two Down, and the inevitable soaps such as Corrie, The Bill, Hollyoaks and Casualty - as well as roles in movies alongside stars of the calibre of Michael Caine, Ben Kingsley, Colin Firth, John Travolta and Hugh Grant, not to mention a succession of parts in horror movies (some spoof, some not). She also turned her talents to the stage - to much critical acclaim - appearing in West End and off-West End productions by writers as diverse as Alan Ayckbourn, Tennessee Williams, Henrik Ibsen and Noel Coward.

Yet numerous television appearances on from her debut, and poor Miss Anthony remains one of those familiar faces you know, but are never quite sure where from...

One of those places was her seductive and sinister part in the video by Depeche Mode for their 1993 single I Feel You. [Any excuse to play Depeche Mode!]

Depeche Mode - I Feel You

Lysette Anthony (born Lysette Chodzko, 26th September 1963)

I took her to a supermarket. I don't know why, but I had to start it somewhere

Ah, another "fabulous at fifty" birthday happened this week (on Thursday) - the marvellous singer, songwriter and latterly BBC Radio 6 DJ Mr Jarvis Cocker!

Indubitably eccentric, Mr Cocker's blend of poetry and music has elevated him from the cynical world of BritPop in the early honeymoon days of Tony Blair and his "Cool Britannia" phase to something resembling an "indie icon" (in the vein of Morrissey or Ray Davies).

It is, of course, for the classic Common People for which he is forever applauded...

Pulp - Common People

She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge
She studied sculpture at Saint Martins College
That's where I caught her eye
She told me that her dad was loaded
I said, "In that case I'll have rum and Coca-Cola"
She said, "Fine"
And then in thirty seconds' time, she said

"I wanna live like common people
I wanna do whatever common people do
Wanna sleep with common people
I wanna sleep with common people like you"
Oh, what else could I do?
I said, "I'll, I'll see what I can do"

I took her to a supermarket
I don't know why, but I had to start it somewhere
So it started there
I said: "Pretend you've got no money"
And she just laughed and said, "Oh, you're so funny."
I said, "Yeah?
Huh, I can't see anyone else smiling in here
Are you sure

You wanna live like common people
You wanna see whatever common people see
Wanna sleep with common people
You wanna sleep with common people like me?"
But she didn't understand
She just smiled and held my hand

Rent a flat above a shop
Cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
'Cos when you're laying in bed at night
Watching roaches climb the wall
If you called your dad he could stop it all, yeah

You'll never live like common people
You'll never do whatever common people do
Never fail like common people
You'll never watch your life slide out of view
And then dance and drink and screw
Because there's nothing else to do

Sing along with the common people
Sing along and it might just get you through
Laugh along with the common people
Laugh along even though they're laughing at you
And the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool

Like a dog lying in a corner
They will bite you and never warn you
Look out, they'll tear your insides out
'Cos everybody hates a tourist
Especially one who thinks it's all such a laugh
Yeah, and the chip stains and grease
Will come out in the bath

You will never understand
How it feels to live your life
With no meaning or control
And with nowhere left to go
You are amazed that they exist
And they burn so bright
Whilst you can only wonder why

Rent a flat above a shop
Cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
'Cos when you're laying in bed at night
Watching roaches climb the wall
If you called your Dad he could stop it all, yeah

Never live like common people
Never do what common people do
Never fail like common people
Never watch your life slide out of view
And then dance and drink and screw
Because there's nothing else to do

Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you
Wanna live with common people like you, la la la la
Ooh, la la la la
Ooh, la la la la
Ooh, la la-la-la la-la
Oh, yeah

Facts about Mr Cocker:

• After that notorious incident at the Brit Awards in 1995, when Jarvis bared his arse at the ludicrously posturing Michael Jackson on stage ([It was] "a form of protest at the way Michael Jackson sees himself as some kind of Christ-like figure with the power of healing", he said), with comedian Bob Mortimer acting as his solicitor he was released without charge.
• When Pulp split in 2002 he briefly assumed the persona of “Darren Spooner”, fronting the avant garde electro duo Relaxed Muscle.
• He fronted the wizard rock band in 2005’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
• With French film director Michel Gondry and Belgian musician Arno Hintjens, he appeared in a surreal marketing campaign for Eurostar's sponsorship of the Olympics in 2012.
• He wrote one of my all-time fave songs Walk Like A Panther for the All-Seeing Eye featuring Tony Christie (first featured here back in 2008).

Many happy returns to am avant garde superstar!

Jarvis Branson Cocker (born 19th September 1963)

Tucker Jenkins is 50!

Not so much a "fabulous", but a "frightening" 50th birthday yesterday! Mr Todd Carty, better known to Brits of our generation as "Tucker Jenkins" from Grange Hill, and remembered more widely perhaps as the doomed "Mark Fowler" in Eastenders (or maybe as PC Gabriel Kent in The Bill), is officially "grown up". Gulp.

Read my blog about Grange Hill.

I grew up with Tucker Jenkins. He was the rapscallion in a fictional school when I was in school, he left to make his way in the world at around the same time I did. I simultaneously identified with him, and secretly fancied him. Not so much now, of course.

Ah, memories...

Tucker's Luck opening titles

Grange Hill: "Tucker the Rock Star"

Todd Carty (born 31st August 1963)

Your groove I do deeply dig

Heavens.

In the stress of adapting back to the world of work and all that goes with it after Amsterdam, I neglected another "fabulous at fifty" birthday on Thursday...

Many (belated) happy returns to a true example of a "triumph of art over nature" - it's Lady Miss Kier!

Deee-Lite - Groove is in the Heart

The chills that you
Spill up my back
Keep me filled with
Satisfaction when we're done
Satisfaction of what's to come

I couldn't ask for another
No I couldn't ask for another

Your groove I do deeply dig
No walls only the bridge
My supperdish, my succotash wish

I couldn't ask for another
No I couldn't ask for another

Groove is in the heart
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Groove is in the heart
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Groove is in the heart

The depth of who to groove
moves me too, I'm seein' who
we're going through too, hard nasty, who woo

I couldn't ask for another
No I couldn't ask for another

DJ Soles, it's time to roll
I've been told, he can't be sold
he's not vicious or malicious
just lovely and delicious

I couldn't ask for another

Lady Miss Kier

Grachten, cocktails, broodje and Angela Lansbury

We had a fab time in Amsterdam!

We toured the grachten...



We drank...



We sang...



We did the infamous "Kylie Wave" to All The Lovers...

Kylie Minogue - All The Lovers

We ate (mainly broodje, with the occasional pannenkoek)...



And drank...



We paid tribute to Angela Lansbury (we all wore badges with "I am Angela Lansbury" on them - it's an in-joke amongst our gang)...



...and to Tante Leen...

Tante Leen - Oh Johnny

And drank some more...



Thanks to Madam Arcati (Tony), Hils, Crog, Baby Steve, Alex, TJ, John-John, Russ, Joe, Paul, Jim, Ange, Alistair, Mark, Johnno and Ramon [and to the hosts at the Golden Bear Hotel, Café Rouge, De Spyker, Café Americain, Eetsalon Van Dobben, Café 't Mandje, de Engel van Amsterdam, Café De Barderij, Café René and the Queen's Head - plus, of course, to all the splendid men of the Thermos Sauna] for making it all so very, very memorable indeed...

In all, the absolute best way I could possibly have spent my 50th birthday!