...and I think I hear carol singers, with their old, familiar, traditional songbook, heading this way...
RIP, Vanilla LushOnly today and tomorrow to go, and the Festering Season's over for another year. Hoorah!
Bah Humbug.
Showing posts with label Fascinating Aida. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fascinating Aida. Show all posts
Tuesday, 24 December 2024
It's the eve...
Sunday, 17 December 2023
Hark...
...do I hear carol singers?
Bah Humbug.
I prefer Saturnalia myself.
Sticking with the delightful Fascinating Aida, they've just released another new clip from their ongoing 40th anniversary tour:
You were warned!
Wednesday, 5 July 2023
The thrills that you spill
Media whores!
In this gloomy middle-of-the-week moment, with grey clouds, wind, showers and a drop in temperatures, I think a selection of some of the "newer" choons that have caught my ear of late is in order...
First up, the official Pride in London anthem [we missed him live on stage in Trafalgar Square on Saturday, but hey ho]:
Here's a surprise - Steps' very own "Lulu impersonator" Claire has struck out on her own...
The bundle of joy that is Netta [Eurovision Song Contest winner in 2018] is back with a rather jolly new song:
Calming things down just a tad - here's a little something I discovered thanks to the Craig Charles Funk and Soul Show on BBC Radio 6 Music:
Keeping the mood on the mellow side, a choon that's definitely not new [it was recorded during lockdown at the outset of the COVID pandemic], but new to me, so that's all that matters. It's truly gorgeous:
Shooting us straight back to the electronic 1980s, here's the latest from the artist formerly known as "Bimbo Boy":
This young lady's new song was recently described thus: "brilliantly blends the grooves of Deee-Lite’s “Groove Is In The Heart” with references to the catchy beats of Crystal Waters‘ iconic dance track “Gypsy Woman.” It’s a perfect fusion that showcases her talent and love for the genre." I'll let you be the judge of that, dear reader. [I quite like it!]:
Speaking of "happiness", there is very little in this world that gives me as much joy as a new - and customarily bonkers - number from one of our "house bands" here at Dolores Delargo Towers...
And finally, a song that has very nearly, but not quite, lately rivalled Our Princess Kylie's Padam, Padam in the earworm stakes pour moi:
As ever, dear reader, let me know your thoughts...
Thursday, 24 December 2020
Have another sherry
Hark! What's that? Oh fuck - the carol singers are here...
...from the East come some "wise men" with a paean to 2020:
...and finally, the sweetest carol of all...
Bah Humbug, one and all!
Thursday, 21 December 2017
Have another sherry...
It's that time of year - when all thoughts turn to the fantabulosa Fascinating Aida for a traditional Xmas message...
Bah Humbug.
Thursday, 13 April 2017
Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feck
A Ryanair passenger has confirmed he would not mind being forcibly dragged off.The Daily Mash
Wedged in a stained middle seat the size of a pizza box, Tom Booker has been idly fantasising about being forcibly removed from the plane and saved from a two-hour sweaty ordeal.
Booker said: “It’s only a boring work trip, and a couple of minutes of pain and humiliation are definitely better than being treated like a battery-farmed hen and trying to ignore my neighbour’s body odor while cabin crew try and make you buy a £30 cheese roll.
“At this stage I’d happily accept being dragged by my neck down the aisle rather than have to take this flight.
“I’d try and open the emergency exit and slide to freedom, but the cruel irony is I’m far too boxed in to get anywhere near it.”
Crew member Emma Bradford said: “Mr Booker tried to cause a disturbance by letting out a blood-curdling yell and banging his head repeatedly against the seat in front.
“I don’t think he realises that we’re Ryanair, that’s just normal behaviour for us. When he manages to get out on the wing with a bottle of Smirnoff, then we’ll talk.”
Of course.
[And in case you do decide to brave the in-flight food - here's a salutary warning.]
I think there is no excuse but to re-visit an old favourite - by Fascinating Aida (who else?):
Begorrah.
Wednesday, 21 December 2016
Sunday, 4 January 2015
Charm and offence in equal measure
"Laughter, silliness, bravery and four letter words sung in glorious harmony." - Liza Pulman
"More wit, cutting edge lyrics and uber-glamour than you can shake a stick at." - Adèle Anderson
"Charm and offence in equal measure - what else?" - Dillie Keane
Yes! The girls of Fascinating Aïda are back, and we were overjoyed to go and see them at the Queen Elizabeth Hall on the South Bank on Friday evening [as part of the celebrations for our friend Jim's birthday, which culminated in verrrry late drinkies after his party last night; I didn't get in till 4am]. I couldn't think of a better way to kick-start the social calendar for 2015...
With a combination of classic numbers - such as the brilliant YouTube mega-hits Dogging and, of course, Cheap Flights ("There's no such fecking thing as a fecking flight for 50p") - some rather fabulous new material and the bang up-to-date satirical Bulgarian Song Cycles (taking a well-aimed pop at everything from the Kardashians to the Royals to George Osborne) it was all we could have expected and more. Expert harmonies, hilarious moments as well as serious heart-string-tugging material (the poignant Look Mummy No Hands, Old Home and Little Girls in Pink in particular), the girls of "FA" are three of the most talented variety artists in the business.
Ever ones to take the piss out of themselves as much as anything else, their opening number about death We’re Next was a great start. Our sides were splitting at the pastiche hip-hop routine Down With The Kids, Adèle's deeply dark Song of Genetic Mutation, and Dillie's ‘Allo, Bonjour Monsieur! (with its refrain about safe sex: "Where is your Johnny, now?"). FA show favourites The Health & Safety Executive and Taboo were brilliantly pithy as always, and we loved the bitchiness of some of the newer material such as Spending Nigel’s Bonus, Joyce and Boomerang Kids.
The highlights for me were twofold. Adèle's song about her transition from boy to woman Prisoner of Gender was utterly marvellous - I first heard it last year, but it was great to see it performed live. As once commentator put it; "it must be the only song out there to rhyme “thin and runty” with “I read Bunty”...
Best of all, however, was Liza's beautiful and heartfelt song about the nervousness and hope that surrounds a divorcee on her first "date" - Out of Practice. This song alone knocks spots of most West End shows' "torch songs"; it was utterly delightful.
What a great evening.
Here's the girls' "encore" number on Friday - a very hilarious (and rude) Christmas Song:
A compilation of songs from the show (as available on their new DVD) is available here [for some bizarre reason, this video cannot be embedded...]
And, finally, I simply can't resist posting Dogging again:
The girls are at the Southbank Centre until 11th January 2015, then they're off again up and down the UK - check their website for details.
Tuesday, 9 September 2014
I looked fab in a chemise
Only Fascinating Aïda could come up with such a jolly ditty to gender dysphoria...
Fascinating Aïda official website.
Thursday, 28 August 2014
A bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled
[photo: Andy Hanselman]
Ryanair has introduced ‘business class’ by selling tickets for proper airlines.The Daily Mash.
The budget carrier said its new level of service would include a free drink, landing within half a day’s drive of your chosen destination and being on a British Airways plane.
The company revealed that for a £70 fee it will register your interest and then let BA, Air France and Lufthansa know that you are on your way.
Plane traveller Martin Bishop said: “Finally I can combine Ryanair’s low prices with British Airways’ levels of service simply by paying significantly more money.”
A Ryanair spokesman added: “This means we now fly to more destinations than all of the other airlines that have ever existed.
“Celebratory trumpet noise.”
Of course.
[The "real" story in The Telegraph]
Here's the only song I could possibly play to greet such news, courtesy of the ever-lovely Fascinating Aïda:
We received an invitation in the post one Monday morn'
To attend our cousin's wedding in the town where we were born
The do was back in Kerry; so wishing to be frugal
We trawled the 'net to find some decent travel deals on Google
Cheap flights, cheap flights, cheap as they can be,
Bedad we found an airline selling flights for 50p.
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai)
Well we clicked on to the website and were mightily surprised,
To find the actual cost wasn't quite as advertised,
We'd forgotten airport taxes, had also to be billed,
But a bargain is a bargain and begorrah we were thrilled.
Cheap flights, cheap flights, Stansted to Tralee,
It isn't every airline offers flights for 50p,
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (x3))
After studying the website we decided it was best,
To pay priority boarding so that we'd sit three abreast,
(Three abreast, that's the best)
And of course we'd all have luggage, so that's an extra cost,
And then we paid insurance in case our cases might get lost.
Our cheap flights, cheap flights, it's obvious to see,
There must be extra charges when the flights are 50p,
(Minya, minya, minya, key change)
At last the flight was booked, with all of the additions,
We'd read the reams of small print, of terms and conditions;
And then picked up the charge for using VISA which was drastic,
'Cause how the feck are you supposed to pay if not with fecking plastic?
Cheap flights, cheap flights, we paid the fecking fee,
Because by now we were committed to the flights for 50p,
(Diddly aiden daidin daidin dai (3))
(Someone's being diddled and it's us, so it is)
(Ochone, ochone, aah . . . )
Now I don't know if you've tried looking at Stansted on a map,
But checking in at 5am is a fecking load of crap,
It's packed if you try to catch a train or underground,
So a taxi to the arse end o' the world was more than 100 pounds,
Cheap flights, cheap flights, we should have gone by sea,
There's no such fecking thing as a fecking flight for 50p,
(Feckity feckity feckity feckity feck, feck, feck (x2))
Then at last we reached the airport where we had to pay a fine,
The fecking feckers charged us 'cause we hadn't checked in online,
And finally aboard the flight there's an extra class of tax,
'Cause the fecking fecking feckers fecking charge to use the jack,
Cheap flights, cheap flights, I think you must agree,
That only fecking gobshites think there's flights for 50p,
(Feck, shite, feck, shite, feck, shite, arse)
(Feck, shite, shite, feck, feck, shite, arse)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feck)
(Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckity Feckty Feck)
Sad verse
Well finally we landed and tried to shuffle up the aisle
But the steward sent us down to the back with never a hint of a smile
And as we heard his announcement our hearts gave a terrible thump
If you haven't prepaid to use the steps you'll have to feckin jump
Cheap flights, cheap flights you're harking on to me
you're an eejit if you think a fecking flight is 50p
FECK!
Fascinating Aïda
Tuesday, 17 December 2013
A teacher's lot is not a happy one...
It's cabaret time!
Here's the marvellous Fascinating Aïda - currently celebrating their 30th year in showbiz (in one line-up or another)! - and their tribute to OFSTED school inspectors (or as they would have it, "Overpaid Fuckers Shafting Teachers Every Day"):
The girls are on at the South Bank Centre with their Charm Offensive show from 22nd December 2013 to 10th January 2014. At the moment however we are "budgeted out" for theatre tickets, so it's unlikely we'll catch them this time around.
They were excellent when we went to see them in January last year. We adore them!
Thursday, 16 May 2013
Thinking of becoming an author?
Expert advice on how to write a bestseller, courtesy of the ever-fabulous Fascinating Aida:
We adore these ladies! - and went to see them in their fantabulosa live show back in January 2012.
Fascinating Aida website
Saturday, 7 January 2012
The love children of Freddie Mercury and Dawn French
We had a very special evening indeed last night, in the company of the fantabulosa Fascinating Aida.
These ladies - founder Dillie Keane and almost-founder member Adele Anderson, appearing in this penultimate show in their London run with another excellent newcomer Sarah Louise Young (there have been several "third ladies" over the almost 29 years of the group's existence) - have always been firm favourites here at Dolores Delargo Towers, and I personally have been dying to see them live for years. And here they were at last, in all their glory (well almost, as Dillie was suffering rather badly with a streaming cold)!
I raved about the ladies' Silver Jubilee album back in 2009, and many of the songs from that particular album were featured, including (of course) their massive YouTube hits the hilarious Cheap Flights ("It's gone fungal." "I think you mean vinyl.") and Dogging:
As we know, Fascinating Aida leave no target unmauled in their satirical ditties, and from the opening number CUNTS (Companies Using Nifty Taxation Systems), through One True Religion (Is Me) (taking a pop at the Tantric/Feng Shui/mysticism-choosing middle classes), a song about using an orang-utan as a surrogate mother, and a beautiful ballad about taking your mum to Dignitas, to the excoriating finale of Jesus Saves, But Tesco Saves You More, they certainly kept up the pressure.
"Fascinating Aida are operatic and jazz-trained female singers who out-satirise Rory Bremner and out-beguile Eartha Kitt. It's as though they're the love children of Freddie Mercury and Dawn French. Is that possible? Impossibly good is what it is."The true success of the girls' satire is of course the fact it is delivered with the finest harmonies and musicality. All three have an excellent vocal range and dexterity, admirably demonstrated in the very poignant (and surprisingly serious) ballad Goodbye Old Friends, Adele's solo on her paean to a threesome relationship Mr and Mrs and Me, and Sarah-Louise's own composition One Night Stand.
Ken Russell
Perhaps the most bizarrely hilarious moment of the whole evening was "P Dillie" and "da crew" half-rapping and dancing to their take on modern urban music, Down With The Kids. We particularly loved their hilarious Bulgarian Song Cycles (each taking a sideswipe at subjects as diverse as Paul McCartney’s marriages, Jeremy Clarkson, Tony Blair and Cheryl Cole).
With a back-catalogue such as theirs, the show would not have been complete without at least one number from their early days. I can't deny I was a tad disappointed it wasn't our house favourite Sew On A Sequin, but they did a fantastic job on the classic Lieder:
And, with two curtain calls including a section where the girls gave answers to all the predicted questions they always get asked, it was over...
An excellent show to start the season!
Fascinating Aida
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Somewhere between "Sex and the City" and a three-part harmony act
"I don't know what people expect when they come to see us but I think we are somewhere between Sex and the City and three-part harmony act!"
Long after the girls announced they were no longer going to perform together, the fabulous Fascinating Aida are back with a new album Silver Jubilee, celebrating 25 years of their singular brand of rollicking satirical cabaret.
Always topical, always on the ball, the girls - founder member Dillie Keane, the almost as long-serving Adele Anderson and relative newcomer Liza Pulman - specialise in taking a "pop" at the British establishment, in a most genteel and ladylike (and regularly smutty) way of course, and this album encapsulates their style brilliantly.
Nothing is sacred here - not Tesco, nor Gordon Brown, nor, hilariously, the Health & Safety Executive... The collection opens with a number that takes the piss out of shallow fame-seekers like WAGs, Lily Allen and Paris Hilton, and I almost fell off my chair at their hysterical ditty all about dogging!
Their Bulgarian song cycles(!) are brilliant and very clever, and although there are some poignant and melancholy moments this is a superbly crafted and hilarious album.
Recorded live at the Jermyn Street Theatre in January 2009, listening to the CD just makes me regret not having booked tickets.. I recommend it to everyone - the album is available from Dress Circle as ever.
Despite the fact there are no videos of this particular show, here are some snippets of the fabulous Fascinating Aida for your delectation:
Friday, 23 January 2009
You'll never feel depressed...
As I look forward to hosting my Sparkling Leaving Party tonight, here are couple of my favourite numbers to help celebrate the occasion.
First up, the most stylish musical comediennes in the business we call "show"...
...and this slice of brilliance from the movie Better Than Chocolate!
Party time!
First up, the most stylish musical comediennes in the business we call "show"...
...and this slice of brilliance from the movie Better Than Chocolate!
Party time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)