Socially-distanced Euro-madness

We're nothing if not troupers, our gang! Despite the limitations and frustrations of watching the telly with sound turned down and only one person's telly playing the audio, fifteen of us convened last night via Zoom for the whole marathon four-and-a-half hours of Eurovision-themed broadcasting, including Graham Norton's Eurovision: Come Together [which featured a selection of past Eurovision winners who were then subject to a vote from the public for the best ever; Abba's Waterloo won, unsurprisingly], the "official" trans-European broadcast Europe Shine a Light [which gave a snippet of every one of the 41 entries who would have been featured in this year's cancelled contest - with sarky commentary from Mr Norton again, as is traditional - plus appearances from Johnny Logan, Mans Zelmerlöw and many many more, remote sing-a-longs and a huge smattering of shmaltz], followed by the much more tongue-in-cheek A to Z of Eurovision hosted by Rylan Clark-Neil [which took an irreverent "sideways" look at the madness that is the secret of why we all love the contest so].

A helluva lot of alcohol, bitching about the performers and general merriment ensued...

Of the acts-that-missed-out this year [and none of the songs are permitted to be re-entered next year according to the rules, even if some of the acts may return], not many caught our ear - apart from these...

The Mamas - Move (Sweden)

The Roop - On Fire (Lithuania)

Little Big - Uno (Russia)

And the one that we, and the bookies, predicted might well have won it:

Daði Freyr - Think About Things (Iceland)

We all did THAT dance in our living-rooms...

Roll on next year - if this pandemic shit is indeed over by then - when the Eurovision Song Contest proper is set to (finally) be hosted in Rotterdam (where it was supposed to be yesterday)!

Hör dess dingle-dång

Oh dear. The Festering Season really is in full swing. Queues everywhere, stupid naff decorations all over the place, tannoy-piped cover versions of horrid Xmas pop choons [when will shops realise no-one wants to listen to Paul McCartney Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime or Jonah Lewie Stop The Cavalry while buying moist toilet tissue?], the nauseating smell of "mince-pie scented" candles, gift-boxes of Lynx deodorant, dangerous-looking flashing toys of dubious origin, office parties of once-a-year amateur drinkers blocking the bar with orders of 35 "festive shots", and a million-and-one ways to pay over-the-odds for chocolate...

And to top it all, there's still a week-and-a-bit to go in work!

Bah Humbug.

Let's see if the - ahem - superbly talented Lili and Susie can cheer us up on this Tacky Music Monday:

Lili & Susie - Bjällerklang

Camp as tits, dear.

All together, now!

Bing bong, bing bong, bing bong, bing bong

Ute faller snö
I splittan blacken stå
Och äter lugnt sitt hö
När ljudet honom når

Att selen lyftes ner
Och framför släden snart
Med oss han sedan sig beger
I väg med väldig fart!

Bjällerklang, bjällerklang
Hör dess dingle-dång
Flingor som nu virvlar
Om i munter vintersång

Följ oss ut, följ oss ut
Blacken travar på
I hans spår vår släde går
Där höga furor stå

Vi sitter under fällen och snön omkring oss yr
Och inte förn, till kvällen vi färden hemåt styr

Bjällerklang, bjällerklang
Hör dess dingle-dång
Flingor som nu virvlar
Om i munter vintersång

Över mo och myr
Vi hastigt far åstad
Åh, vilket äventyr
Det står som en kaskad

Av snö, som muntert yr
Och hem mot hö och stall
Det bär nu ystert av i trav
Till Karos glada skall

Bjällerklang, bjällerklang
Hör dess dingle-dång
Flingor som nu virvlar
Om i munter vintersång

Följ oss ut, följ oss ut
Blacken travar på
I hans spår vår släde går
Där höga furor stå

Vi sitter under fällen och snön omkring oss yr
Och inte förn, till kvällen vi färden hemåt styr

Bjällerklang, bjällerklang
Hör dess dingle-dång
Flingor som nu virvlar
Om i munter vintersång
Flingor som nu virvlar
Om i munter vintersång

Have a good week, dearies!

I don't care what all my friends are saying

Oh Lordy. Monday again - and I'd only just got used to it being the weekend...

Never mind, eh, as we try and second-guess the weather today (one minute it's a beautiful blue sky and chilly, the next it's dank and foggy and miserable), on this Tacky Music Monday let's brighten everything up with a little "something" from Sweden, courtesy of the Päivärinta sisters!

Lili & Susie - We Were Only Dancing

I hope you're taking fashion tips.

Have a great week, peeps!

Satisfying relaxation and tension relief

Oh, this is priceless! With the countdown to the Eurovision Song Contest - and the mayhem of a houseful of guests in preposterous clothing all cheering and filling in scorecards while balancing buffet food and booze on their laps - in full swing, so I discover that today is the birthday of a "national treasure" in Sweden, Kikki Danielsson, who has enjoyed a long career as a singer, mainly schlager, country and pop, with the occasional bout of yodelling(!).

Miss Kikki also happened to be a contender in Eurovision way back in 1985. Hilariously, her song - which came third - had the misfortune of a title (which actually translates as "Good Vibrations") that could be interpreted very differently in English-speaking countries...

All together, now!

Kikki Danielsson - Bra vibrationer

Eurovision Song Contest official site

Miss Båbs, vila i frid

From the ESCtoday website comes more sad news for Eurovision fans:

Another Eurovision star has fallen away, as iconic singer Barbro Svensson, professionally known as Lill-Babs (“Little Babs”), has passed away. Lill-Babs, who recently celebrated her 80th birthday and was referred to as “Sweden’s grand old lady”, died after being hospitalized following a heart failure.

Sad, indeed. This was the woman who, after all, was the top-billing performer when the Beatles first appeared in concert in Sweden, and the star for whom the four vocalists soon to be known as ABBA first hit the big-time as backing vocalists...

By way of a tribute, here's the lady herself, in her absolute camp prime, accompanied by (and occasionally beating-up) her obligatory bevy of safety gays!

Lill Babs - Det Var Ett Fint År (It Was A Very Good Year) - 1976

There are going to be quite a few black armbands at the Eurovision Song Contest this year, methinks...

RIP Barbro Margareta Svensson (known as Lill-Babs, 9th March 1938 – 3rd April 2018)

Read my previous tributes to the great lady here, here and here.

I know, once a miracle will happen

One hundred and five years ago today, a controversial legend was born...

From WFMU's faboo Beware of the Blog:

When Joseph Goebbels set out to create a Nazi movie studio to rival Hollywood's dream machine, he tried to recruit Germany's and Europe's most glamorous stars, most notably Marlene Dietrich and Greta Garbo. Since both Garbo and Dietrich had already fled war-torn Europe for Hollywood, Goebbels' attention drifted to the singer and actress Zarah Leander. In 1936, Goebbels signed Leander to the recently nationalised film studio UFA, and the Swedish Leander became the highest paid Nazi film star (much to Goebbels' consternation), and one of the most popular actresses and singers in Germany and Europe. She starred in ten propaganda films for the Reich and was a particular favourite of Hitler, who reportedly found the icy, husky-voiced Leander irresistible...

By 1943, Leander saw the handwriting on the wall and stiffed Goebbels, fleeing Germany for her Nazi-film-financed palace in Sweden. Goebbels was enraged, and branded her an enemy of Germany, but the Swedish people were also outraged by what they saw as her wartime Nazi collaboration and profiteering. Leander always insisted that she never bought into the Nazi philosophy and didn't socialize with Third Reich bigwigs. According to a 2004 book by Anthony Beevor (The Mystery of Olga Chekhova), Leander was in fact working for Soviet intelligence the entire time she was under contract to Goebbels, passing Nazi secrets on to the Russians whenever she visited her home in Stockholm. The Swedes never completely forgave her, but she did enjoy a comeback of sorts in the 1960's, appearing in musicals and concerts throughout Germany and Austria.

Now this is what I call a comeback! Here's the fragrant Miss Leander, replete with safety gays and lots of glitter - in a nightclub that I wouldn't mind visiting...

Zarah Leander - Yes Sir

And here, for your delectation, is a rather unexpected tribute to the great lady - by none other than our beloved Nina Hagen! Here she sings a German classic made famous by Zarah, Ich weiss, es wird einmal ein Wunder geschehen:

Nina Hagen - Zarah

Zarah Leander (15th March 1907 – 23rd June 1981)

En Stjärna

Groan... It's the start of another working week, and still no Lottery win in sight.

Hey ho, yesterday would have been the birthday of the lovely Zarah Leander, so let's cheer ourselves up on this Tacky Music Monday with an utterly marvellous duet between two Swedish greats - Miss Leander, and the equally sadly missed operatic sensation Birgit Nilsson. How camp is this?

Zarah Leander and Birgit Nilsson - Vill ni se en Stjärna

Speaking of camp... Just because I can't get enough of dear Zarah, here she is in full "Madame Armfeldt" garb, serenading her horde of elegant safety gays with a medley of her hits:

Zarah Leander - Erkennen Sie Die Melodie

Have a good week, folks.

[Vill ni se en Stjärna, appropriately enough, translates as Would you like to see a Star?]

Zarah Leander (15th March 1907 – 23rd June 1981)

Amore, more, more

Weekends (especially sunny ones) just fly by.

On this Tacky Music Monday, we are not just in desperate need of cheering up as we head back to work...

...we also have the birthday of another camp-as-tits diva-wannabee-of-exotic-lands to celebrate! Many happy returns to Miss Barbro Margareta Svensson - better known as 60s Swedish superstar Lill Babs, who celebrated 60 years in the music industry last year.

To celebrate here is the lady herself, way back when beehives were essential - with the sexy-in-his-day German "answer to Elvis" Peter Kraus - and Amore. Mr Kraus appears to be trying desperately to pretend he has any interest whatsoever in those dancing girls...

Lill Babs with Peter Kraus - Amore

Have a good week, peeps!

Facts about Lill-Babs:

• Many of her original songs were written and composed by Stig Anderson, who went on to produce ABBA, and members of the soon-to-be-supergroup even sang as her backing singers on some early recordings.
• She represented Sweden in the Eurovision Song Contest in 1961 with April, April, and appeared in the Melodifestivalen many times afterwards.
• The Beatles apparently asked for her autograph when they all appeared on the same Swedish TV show in 1963.
• She still occasionally sings live, and is a frequent guest star on Swedish television to this day.

Lill-Babs (born 9th March 1938).

More Miss Babs here and here.

The Vikings are coming!

Our chum Nigel got me a ticket yesterday to a very special preview of the British Museum's much-anticipated new exhibition Vikings: life and legend - which was an excellent exploration of the truth about the Vikings. Of no particular single ethnic group, "Viking" was more a way of being, a lifestyle of plunder, invasion and conquest - and yet these bloodthirsty Berserkers inadvertently facilitated a huge economic uplift to the way "Dark Age" Europe traded across borders. Loot from both legitimate and illegitimate dealings with communities as diverse as the Arabs, Khazars, Celts, Saxons and Britons reveals the extent to which the Vikings travelled, and the way armed resistance to their much-loathed raids and settlements actually precipitated the rise of nations along the modern, recognisable borders we see in Europe today.



On this Tacky Music Monday - to cheer us up as we trudge back to work on this lovely Spring day, after being soaked and frozen solid all weekend - here's another Scandinavian export (of a far more glamorous kind, needless to say), Miss Lill-Babs, with a song that reads like a particularly high-scoring Scrabble winner - Tuff Brud I Lyxförpackning:

Lill Babs - Tuff Brud I Lyxförpackning

Have a good week, folks!

Lill-Babs on Wikipedia

"Sweden has a sense of humour" shocker!

One of the absolute highlights of the Eurovision Song Contest was our host in Malmo, Miss Petra Mede!

Proving that Sweden is not all about Ingmar Bergman, Greta Garbo and sensible cars, she provided us with possibly the best interval entertainment since... Well, actually, I can't think of another like this:

Petra Mede - About Sweden

The full lyrics may be found on - of all places - the website of The Mirror.

Sex Kitten

"I was very flattered by the sex-kitten thing because I never thought of myself as that."

I was going to save this for a Tacky Music Monday, but hey! - it's a miserable wet Saturday and we need some cheering up.

It's the 71st birthday today of that one-woman show-stopper Miss Ann-Margret (possibly Sweden's finest export after Abba), and I found this clip of her in her younger days, doing what she does best - Isn't It Kinda Fun?. Indeed!

Ann-Margret - Isn't It Kinda Fun? (State Fair, 1962)

Facts about Ann-Margret:

• In 1957, she appeared as a contestant on the "Ted Mack Original Amateur Hour", and lost to a man who played Lady of Spain on a leaf.
• Apparently we have George Burns to thank for helping launch her singing career, when he "discovered" her singing in Las Vegas nightclubs.
• A terrible fall off stage in 1972 resulted in massive fractures to her face that almost ended her career.
• Among her rumoured romances were Eddie Fisher, Frankie Avalon and Elvis Presley.
• In latter years she has tended to collect motorcycles more than men.
• Only this month, she was subject of a rather sick internet hoax story, when rumours were spread (originating in an "entertainment" site that specialises in made-up stories) that she had died in a cliff fall in New Zealand.

Thankfully the lady is very much alive - and the world of va-va-voom is a better place for that.

Grattis på födelsedagen!

Ann-Margret official website

Sweden's schlager queens

As anyone who regularly reads my blog will know, if there is one this I love more than just about anything, it is discovering tacky music by over-dressed, faintly silly old divas from foreign climes!

I know I have featured these two before, but thanks to the lovely Henry at Barbarella's Galaxy, I am alerted to the fact that the fantabulosa Lili and Susie from Sweden are not hanging up their sparkly stilletos just yet - and have a new single out. In the company of some outrageous drag queens and buff dancers in tight silver shorts, here are the ladies with another feast of campery:

Lili & Susie feat Diamond Dogs - Bailamor

Lili and Susie fansite

[*schlager = stylised hit songs popular in countries with lots of umlauts in their alphabet]

Calculated madness sure feels sweet

Almost missed the 60th birthday today of the divine Agnetha Fältskog. John-John would never forgive me... Many happy returns to the Swedish diva!

A performer from her early teens, the young Agnetha actually had a recording career as early as 1968, and had (unsuccessfully) submitted songs for the Melodifestivalen (Sweden's heats for Eurovision) long before the embryonic Abba ever performed together.

Since the band's demise, despite being considered by the outside world as somewhat of a "recluse" (largely due to her refusal to reform the super-group) she has actually had a relatively successful solo career, not least with the 2004 hit album My Colouring Book (a very good collection of covers of 60s girl singers' tunes).

Here she is with a most unusual choice of solo single from 1983 (a cover of a 1979 single by the fantabulosa Noosha Fox):

Agnetha Fältskog - The Heat Is On

And here's the "Almighty" remix of her 2004 single (originally done by Cilla Black) If I Ever Thought You'd Change Your Mind:

Agnetha Fältskog - If I Ever Thought You'd Change Your Mind (Almighty remix)

Agnetha's official website

They were meant to be superstars

It is another Tacky Music Monday (and the last before our holiday this weekend in Spain this weekend). However, it is not to Spain that we turn for a change, but to Sweden, where Chanelle, Claudia and Neena caused havoc (for some reason) with their attempt at representing their country at Eurovision.

According to their own website:

"The dynamic trio met at a party at the Rectum Club [sic] in Munich and then stayed close friends. When they were offered to perform Trendy Discotheque it all became obvious for them, they suddenly had a purpose in life, they were meant to be superstars. But today there is no longer any doubt; Pay-TV are back and they will be as big as Madonna and The Sex Pistols, as Britney Spears and Kraftwerk, Adolf Hitler and Mahatma Gandhi - all at once."

Can't understand it, myself.

Pay TV - Refrain Refrain

What will sell...