Don't jump before you look

Timeslip moment again...

This time, the good ship Spaceball One has beamed us down to an alien world - the world of thirty years ago in fact - 1988...

...the year of "Eddie The Eagle", Section 28, perestroika, the hijacking of Kuwait Airways Flight 422, drought in the USA, Home and Away, the Piper Alpha disaster, the "Deaths on the Rock", Oliver North, Wimbledon's victory over Liverpool to win the FA Cup, the UK house price boom, Beetlejuice, the beating and murder of two Army corporals by the IRA, an attempted coup in the Maldives, the end of the Iran–Iraq War, the unearthing of a Roman amphitheatre under the Guildhall in the City of London, and the first internet worm; the births of Adele, Rihanna, Jessie J and Comic Relief; and the deaths of Roy Kinnear, Frederick Ashton, the Liberal Party (merged with the SDP to become the Lib Dems), Kenneth Williams, Andy Gibb, Nico and the £1 note (replaced by the coin).

In the headlines in December 1988: the "salmonella in eggs" controversy and the resignation of Health Minister Edwina Currie, the Clapham Junction rail crash, a devastating cyclone in Bangladesh, the very first World AIDS Day, the birth of a new royal baby Princess Beatrice, and the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie; in the ascendant were Benazir Bhutto (Pakistan's first ever woman Prime Minister), and the Estonian language (restored as the soon-to-be-independent state's official language), but we waved a sad farewell to the legendary Roy Orbison. In our cinemas: Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Willow and Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. On telly: An Audience with Victoria Wood, London's Burning, and the 25th anniversary of Top of the Pops.

And in our charts this week three decades ago? It was a fairly icky Top Ten, with Cliff-bloody-Richard at the top slot, and the dreadful Phil Collins and Chris De Burgh also lurking around. Thanks to the success of the Aussie import TV soap Neighbours, Our Princess Kylie and Jason Donovan's eternal "classic" Especially For You had crashed into the #2 slot (but they had to wait till the New Year to get their own chance at the top), and the theme from their wedding episode (by Angry Anderson) completed the triptych. Also in attendance were heartthrobs Bros, plus Robin Beck and her version of a Coke advertising jingle, dear little Rick Astley, Michael Jackson and Pet Shop Boys. But also just arrived - and soon to be a big threat to all of 'em (although it never quite managed to get to #1) - was this one, from our fave queeny musical funsters Erasure!

Erasure - Stop!

We'll be together again
I've been waiting for a long time
We're gonna be, we're gonna be
Together again
I've been connected to the right line
We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

We'll be together again
I've been waiting for a long time
We're gonna be we're gonna be
Together again
I've been connected to the right line
We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

We'll be together and nobody ain't never
Gonna disconnect us or ever separate us
Or say to us you've got to

Stop!
Stand there where you are
Before you go too far
Before you make a fool out of love
Stop!
Don't jump before you look
Get hung upon a hook
Before you make a fool out of love

Three decades? Heavens.

Here you go, way too fast

It's another timeslip moment, dear reader...

This time, we've been unceremoniously dumped by Mac, Zeebo and Wiploc in the midst of a strike-hit, miserable British winter, thirty years ago - the year the Soviet empire began to show signs of crumbling with the start of perestroika, and the Iran–Iraq War ended; the year of Section 28, the Piper Alpha disaster, Benazir Bhutto, the Iran–Contra affair, Michael Dukakis vs George Bush, drought in the USA, Paddy Ashdown and the LibDems, and the Seoul Olympics; the year that Rihanna, Al-Qaeda, Adele, Princess Beatrice, Conchita Wurst, World AIDS Day and the first internet virus were born; and Roy Orbison, Andy Gibb, Kenneth Williams, Sylvester and Divine died.

In the news in February 1988: the first BBC Red Nose Day for Comic Relief raised £15,000,000 for charity; the Calgary Winter Olympics was in full swing (including the famed Jamaican bobsleigh team); god-bothering homophobe Jerry Falwell lost his defamation lawsuit against Hustler magazine; violence erupted in the Caucusus with ethnic clashes between Armenian and Azerbaijani territories; in the ascendant were house prices (the average across Britain reached £60,000 at the end of 1987, compared to £47,000 in December 1986; imagine...), Anne Bancroft (who won a BAFTA for Best Actress in 84 Charing Cross Road) and Dame Judi Dench (who received her DBE from HM The Queen); but we bade farewell to composer Frederick Loewe (of My Fair Lady fame). In our cinemas were RoboCop, Planes, Trains & Automobiles and The Last Emperor. On telly: You Bet! with Bruce Forsyth, London's Burning and Red Dwarf.

But what was in our charts this week in '88? Our Princess Kylie was exactly where she should be - at Number 1 with I Should Be So Lucky. Present and correct in the Top Ten were an eclectic mix of artists including Bomb Da Bass, Tiffany, Jermaine Stewart, Billy Ocean, Taylor Dayne, Morrissey, Coldcut feat. Yazz, Rick Astley and Eddy Grant. But lingering outside the upper echelons, waiting for its chance to shine, was this little long-forgotten number from the Primitives (and whatever happened to them?):

The Primitives - Crash

Here you go, way too fast
Don't slow down, you're gonna crash
You should watch, watch your step
Don't look out, gonna break your neck

So shut, shut your mouth
Cause I'm not listening anyhow
I've had enough, enough of you
Enough to last a lifetime through

So what do you want of me
Got no words of sympathy
And if I go around with you
You know that I get messed up, too
With you

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na

Here you go, way too fast
Don't slow down, you're gonna crash
You don't know what's been going down
You've been running all over town

So shut, shut your mouth
Cause I'm not listening anyhow
I've had enough, enough of you
Enough to last a lifetime through

So what do you want of me
Got no cure for misery
And if I go around with you
You know that I get messed up, too
With you
With you
With you

Na na na na na na na na na
(Slow down, you're gonna crash)
Na na na na na na na na na
(Slow down, you're gonna crash)
Na na na na na na na na na
(Slow down, you're gonna crash)
Na na na na na na na na na
(Slow down, you're gonna crash)

Thus endeth the public information broadcast.

This room is full of memories, and shadows of the past remind me

It's a very apposite timeslip moment again...

We've been kidnapped by the She-Wolves of the Wasteland and transported back to the wilds of 1988 - the year of Section 28; of the "Free Nelson Mandela" concert; of the Piper Alpha and Lockerbie disasters; of perestroika, when the cracks really began to show across the Soviet Bloc; of Bush vs Dukakis; and the year that Adele, Al-Qaeda and Internet Chat were born (and look how - ahem - far we have come since).

In the news in April twenty-nine years ago: plans were revealed for a huge development involving Britain's biggest commercial tower block at Canary Wharf in East London; Soviet forces committed to withdraw from Afghanistan; Kuwait Airways Flight 422 was hijacked, leading to a sixteen-day international stand-off; Nazi war criminal "Ivan the Terrible" (Ivan Demjanjuk) was sentenced to death in Israel; and in the ascendant were Sonny Bono (elected mayor of Palm Springs, California), Slime Dion (who won the Eurovision Song Contest for Switzerland) and The Last Emperor (which won nine Oscars), but we bade a sad farewell to that camp comedy legend Kenneth Williams. In our cinemas were Wall Street, Flowers in the Attic and 3 Men and a Baby. On telly: the controversial documentary Death on the Rock, Ben Elton's Friday Night Live and the last-ever episode of (the original series of) Crossroads.

And in our charts this week in 1988? S-Express had barn-stormed their way to Number 1, knocking Pet Shop Boys' Heart from its perch, closely followed by Hazell Dean, Danny Wilson (who???), Natalie Cole, Climie Fisher, George Michael, Michael Jackson and Fleetwood Mac.

However, also present... in this week when our favourite pop-tastic girl band Bananarama announced their comeback as the original threesome, we re-visit their Top Ten hit from the charts all those years ago. How appropriate that it is I Want You Back [the girls' first hit after the departure of Siobhan]!

Bananarama - I Want You Back

The room has suddenly grown cold
And outside in the street it's raining
You packed your bags and said good-bye
You took my heart without explaining.
How could you go?
How could you go?

We had a love most people never know.
Stop
Before you break my heart!

I want you back
Don't care what I have to do
I want you back

I want you back
Gotta get it through to you
I want you back

If I can make you see only you can fill the need in me
If you walk away you'll regret it someday
Please
Stay!

This room is full of memories
And shadows of the past remind me
Of all the love I gave in vain
And all the hurt I feel inside me.
I want you back
I want you back

We had a love most people never know.
Stop
Before you break my heart!

I want you back
Don't care what I have to do
I want you back

I want you back
Gotta get it through to you
I want you back

We had a love most people never know
Stop
Before you break my heart!

Indeed.

Bananarama on Wikipedia