"They were looking for singers in the style of George Formby or Vera Lynn. I was a bit more like George."
We know a good night out when we find one here at Dolores Delargo Towers. And so it came to pass, a mere week after laughing our tits off at last week's Ferret Up The Arts show (with the eponymous Eve Ferret and her guests Celia Imrie, Fidelis Morgan and Mzz Kimberley) that Paul and I (and little Tony and Wayne) trolled into town again for another helping!
We adore Eve. She is our favourite "Blitz Kid". (And there was a smattering of true originals from that heady early-80s era again in evidence in the audience)
Once more we hooted at Miss Ferret's hilarious self-deprecation and patter, her pride in her peignoir, and the carefully-nurtured chaos that is her brilliant cabaret - everything from Crazy Horses and This Town Ain’t Big Enough for Both of Us to the catchiest-of-catchy "signature tunes" I Am The Diva and Diva's Tea Party, with Billie Holiday-esque vocals here and a bit of Piaf there for good measure...
Her guests this time around were again typically eclectic - and first up was the (very nervous) Vauxhall Tavern stalwart, Mr Alp Haydar. A singularly sexy man, he has a lovely singing voice, and Miss Ferret evidently adores him (even though he appeared somewhat out of his depth in the spotlight glare of a West End audience).
Speaking of adored... Our second guest Miss Adele Anderson has a very special place in our hearts indeed. Candid these days about her transition from the boy Eve knew decades ago to being a long-serving member of our favourite all-girl cabaret group Fascinating Aïda, Ms Anderson specialises in singing the kind of subtly acerbic torch songs we love, such as these:
Having captivated the audience with her divine presence, Adele was rejoined by Eve and the two ladies did a killer version of Eartha Kitt's I Want To Be Evil, which was utterly brilliant. Once we reached the break, we were buzzing (as was everyone else outside having a fag). But lawks-a-mercy, there was a magnificent treat in store in part two...
For alongside Eve's own miscellany of musical delights, she proudly introduced the last of her trinity of talents to the stage - none other than the legendary Miss Hazel O'Connor!
Miss O'Connor, together with such post-punk-popstrels as Toyah, Adam Ant, Lene Lovich and others of that ilk, experienced a meteoric rise to chart stardom in the early 80s (at around the same time that Biddie and Eve were witnessing the parallel ascendancy of the electro-tinged New Romantics) but unlike such survivors as Siouxsie or Nina Hagen, her time at the top was relatively short-lived. Nevertheless, her unique brand of impassioned theatricality has left a lasting influence on all our lives (we who were there at the time, that is), and I genuinely never, ever thought I would get to see her live.
Her voice - never hugely powerful even in her heyday - has obviously mellowed a lot nowadays, but she has cleverly adapted her smoky register to a more jazzy, bluesy sound (almost in the manner of the Goddess Marianne Faithfull), and her rendition of God Bless The Child was sublime.
But it was when she sang her absolute classic Will You that the shivers really travelled up and down my spine (even when Miss Ferret appeared at the back of the stage "artistically" twirling her fluorescent streamer!). One of the most poignant ballads of its age - if not of all time - I was immediately transported back to an era when (as now) I could mouth every single word and nuance, and it was all so incredibly meaningful...
You drink your coffee,
I sip my tea,
And we're sitting here, playing so cool,
Thinking, 'What will be, will be.'
And it's getting kind of late now,
Oh, I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?
I move a little closer to you,
Not knowing quite what to do and I'm
Feeling all fingers and thumbs,
I spill my tea, oh silly me.
It's getting kind of late now,
I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?
And then we touch, much too much,
This moment has been waiting for a long, long time,
Makes me shiver,
Makes me quiver,
This moment I am so unsure,
This moment I have waited for,
Well is it something you've been waiting for,
Waiting for too?
Take off your eyes,
Bare your soul,
Gather me to you and make me whole,
Tell me your secrets,
Sing me the song,
Sing it to me in the silent tongue.
It's getting kind of late now,
I wonder if you'll stay now,
Stay now, stay now, stay now,
Or will you just politely say 'Goodnight'?
One of my favourite songs, ever. As it appeared to be for most of the audience, as the great lady had people on their feet cheering as she left the stage, and left Eve to carry on the show - gin shots, flying mangetout, hobby horses, drums, nylon frou-frou and all...
An unmissable experience! We thanked Miss F for her magnificence, and chatted briefly with Ms A and Mr H after the show. Unfortunately Miss O'C had left the building, leaving only pre-signed CDs in her wake. Which was a shame. We wanted just to bathe in the hallowed glow of such an icon.
Remarkable.
