Monday 31 August 2020

Everywhere that beauty glows you are

It is twenty three years since Diana, Princess of Wales' death rocked the world.

The last Bank Holiday is upon us, and for a change on a Monday I am not spitting feathers about work. The weather isn't too bad - not warm, by any stretch of the imagination, but more sunshine than we've had for a while - and I have been out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers doing a bit of dead-heading. If it stays dry, we'll be watering and feeding the pots later in anticipation of an "Indian Summer". We deserve one...

Despite the sad recollections that inevitably accompany the anniversary of the death of our beloved Princess Diana, there is still a need, methinks, to "jolly things up" at the start of any week.

As it happens to be the birthday today of the late, great Alan Jay Lerner [creator of My Fair Lady, Gigi, Camelot and many more incredible musicals], let's have a number from one of the great man's perhaps lesser-known productions, the almost-appropriately-titled Royal Wedding.

On this Tacky Music Bank Holiday Monday, what better than a breathtakingly choreographed number by the marvellous Fred Astaire to provide us with a wake-up call?!

Everywhere that beauty glows you are
Everywhere an orchid grows you are
Everything that's young and gay, brighter than a holiday
Everywhere the angels play you are


Sunday 30 August 2020


So much for the glorious "last stab at summer" Bank Holiday weekend. This time last year, as I commented to Mr DeVice yesterday, thermometers hit 32C in the UK. Last night, it was so chilly our heating came on! It's still August...

Hey ho, let's forget about the bizarre vagaries of the British climate for a while - and take a little trip once again to Spain (I wish), in the company of some semi-naked guapos:

¡Calma mi corazon latiente!


Saturday 29 August 2020

A question no one has ever asked

A Mad Max prequel is in the pipeline, which may ruin everyone’s memories of the earlier films by being shit. Here are some more classics to fuck up.

‘What happened when Jaws was a baby shark?’ is a question no one has ever asked. A prequel could feature a cute little 12-inch Jaws learning the ways of the ocean. Basically anything that completely ruins the menace of the actual Jaws. Maybe Jaws could be friends with a crab?

Toy Story
The events of Toy Story are very clear, so it doesn’t need a prequel, but then neither did Alien or all the other films bollocksed up with one. The early life of toys is a bit limited, so the entire film would be about talking pieces of plastic waiting to be moulded into Woody, Buzz and all the characters we love.

Withnail and I
Funny and moving with memorable characters, Withnail and I could be completely ruined forever by showing the jaded thespians years earlier as optimistic and supremely annoying drama school pricks.

The Long Good Friday
Classic Brit thriller about gangster Harold Shand’s hellish Easter weekend. But what were Harold and wife Victoria doing earlier in the week? A prequel could focus on them sorting out nibbles for the party on their yacht, then end unsatisfyingly as the IRA start blowing people up.

Back to the Future
Okay, the sequels are also sort of the prequels, but that’s what happens when you mess with time travel. For simplicity this would tell the story of Marty’s teenage life: driving his parents to distraction practising Van Halen riffs, demanding a car, and non-stop wanking.
The Daily Mash

Of course.

Friday 28 August 2020

This ain't no place to be if you planned on being a star

This is it, folks! The last Bank Holiday three-day weekend until Xmas is looming, so we'd better make the most of it...

After another tortuous week hunched uncomfortably over the crappy little laptop, cursing everyone and everything to do with work, perhaps it's best to remember:

"You might not ever get rich
But let me tell you it's better than digging a ditch!"

...and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Hope you're taking note of the dance tutorial from Legs & Co.

Have a great long weekend, dear reader!

Thursday 27 August 2020

Steampunk Synths

Miss Clara Rockmore, "Queen of the Theremin"

In these gloomy times, it's understandable that we take pleasure in nostalgia. Among the birthday celebrants this week is an exceptional man, way ahead of his time - Mr Leon Theremin, whose work on the study of radio waves in the early years of the 20th century [he was a scientist in the First World War, and was caught up in the revolution that enveloped his native Russia] paved the way for today's motion-detecting burglar alarms, television technology, and radio-controlled devices; he even invented a remote eavesdropping system, the most notorious of which (nicknamed "The Thing") was hidden in a grand carved wooden plaque of the Great Seal of the United States and remained undetected in the US Embassy in Moscow for seven years after the Second World War.

It is, of course, for his even more entertaining invention of a "hands-free" electronic musical instrument (named after him) that he is most famous. The Theremin, a direct precursor of Moog's synthesiser, was first demonstrated as early as 1920, was an instant success [not least in his performances alongside the lady in the picture above], and was put to great use in Hollywood movie scores (by the likes of Miklós Rózsa and Bernard Herrmann) - it even found its way into the pop charts in songs by The Beach Boys, Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones.

By way of a celebration of the remarkable Mr Theremin, here's an old favourite here at Dolores Delargo Towers that demonstrates its use in a rather faboo way:

Leon Theremin (born Lev Sergeyevich Termen, 28th August 1896 – 3rd November 1993)

Wednesday 26 August 2020

Malevolent maelstrom

The fact that the Met Office (having embraced the infantile American habit of giving windy weather a name) has called the latest unseasonal high winds that have been battering the UK for days "Storm Francis" led me to think - why that name? It's not that common, after all.

So I went looking for "famous Francises", and found: Sir Francis Drake, Francis Poulenc, Sir Francis Chichester, Francis Rossi, Francis Wheen, St. Francis of Assisi, Francis Lai, Francis Matthews, Francis Bacon, Francis Ford Coppola, and...

...Francis Urquhart!

Of course:

Probably the best villain on British telly since Livia in I, Claudius...

Tuesday 25 August 2020

Mishter Bond

Amidst yet another jumble of mismatched celebrants, including Leonard Bernstein, Elvis Costello, Ruby Keeler, Mel Ferrer, Rob Halford, Van Johnson, Tim Burton, Dorothea Tanning, Billy Ray Cyrus, George Stubbs, Claudia Schiffer, Frederick Forsyth, Michael Rennie, Ivan the Terrible, Gene Simmons, Ludwig I of Bavaria, Joanne Whalley, Martin Amis and Alexander Skarsgård, it is (remarkably) the 90th birthday today of the first, and some say the best, James Bond - Sean Connery!

Voted the "Sexiest Man of the Century” (in 1999), and "Scotland's Greatest Living National Treasure" (in 2011), as well as (for his "James Bond") "the third-greatest hero in cinema history" (in 2003), we once again raise a glass to one of Great Britain's most celebrated actors [and quite the hunk in his heyday].

Many happy returns, Sir Thomas Sean Connery (born 25th August 1930)

Monday 24 August 2020

Take a deep breath

Another weekend has disappeared in a blustery, grey instant, and here I am again, working from home [and by dint of the latest missive from "on high", will continue to be doing so until the New Year!!!]


Never mind, eh? On this Tacky Music Monday, the aim of the game is to provide a suitably frenetic "wake-up call", and, to that end, there's "tacky"...

...and then, there's Italian TV!

I am always impressed when a song-and-dance "star" can't lip-synch to save her life, and her "safety gays" can't dance.

Have a good week, dear reader.

[Respirando = breathing in Italian]

Sunday 23 August 2020

Essential Exotica

More unsettled weather has rather taken the edge off the weekend - the wind is at times so fierce that even in the momentary spots when it is sunny, it's not that warm, and most of the time there are huge black clouds glowering overhead.

I think we're definitely in need of a sojourn to somewhere exotic - and who better to bring it than "The King of the Tiki Hut" himself?


[Interesting fact: Mr Denny and the band did all the bird and frog noises themselves. You just don't get talent like that these days...]

Saturday 22 August 2020

I believe, I believe what the old man said

Timeslip moment again, dear reader...

Tom Baker having handed over the keys, it's Peter Davidson (the Fifth Doctor) whose TARDIS has dropped us this time into a world of New Romantics, CB radio, unemployment, the National Front, trench-coats and Tukka boots, the year I left school and turned eighteen - it's 1981: the year of the Royal Wedding of Charles and Diana, the arrest and trial of Peter Sutcliffe aka the "Yorkshire Ripper", Greenham Common, Brideshead Revisited, race riots in Brixton and Toxteth (and across the country), Adam and the Ants, Only Fools and Horses, Madame Mao, Bobby Sands, Buck's Fizz winning the Eurovision Song Contest for the UK, Gregory's Girl, Arthur Scargill, The Day of the Triffids, François Mitterrand, Solidarity, the SDP, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, assassination attempts on the Pope and President Ronald Reagan, For Your Eyes Only, the Penlee lifeboat disaster, personal computers, Postman Pat, women priests, Rupert Murdoch, Cats, Norman Tebbit, Space Shuttle Columbia, the TGV high-speed rail service in France, the first diagnosis of AIDS, Chariots of Fire, crack cocaine, the assassination of President Anwar Sadat of Egypt, the first London Marathon, Danger Mouse, Andreas Papandreou, Clash of the Titans, "Tiny" Rowland, Scanners, and Bob Champion winning the Grand National; the births of Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Meghan Markle, Paloma Faith, Tom Hiddleston, Roger Federer, Beyoncé, Natalie Portman, Chris Evans, Donkey Kong, Paris Hilton, Zara Phillips, Belize, Elijah Wood, Antigua and Barbuda, Michelle Dockery, Post-It notes, Sheridan Smith, the DeLorean "gull-wing" car, Brandon Flowers, the NatWest Tower, Russell Tovey, Kelly Rowland, Craig David and the Sinclair ZX home computer; and the year Natalie Wood, William Holden, Bob Marley, Hoagy Carmichael, Lotte Lenya, Zarah Leander, Edith Head, Robert Montgomery, Princess Alice, Sam Costa, Vera-Ellen, Bill Shankly, Anita Loos, Bernard Lee ("M"), Yip Harburg, Harry Warren, Jack Warner, Patsy Kelly, Gloria Grahame, "Young Mr Grace" Harold Bennett and the Post Office telegram all died.

In the headlines in August thirty-nine years ago? "Sebastian Coe vs Steve Ovett" mania was in full flood as they took it in turns to break the world athletics record for running a mile, Maze Prison IRA hunger strikes continued, the IBM PC was launched in the US, South African troops invaded Angola, the second prisoner in three weeks escaped from Broadmoor maximum security hospital, MTV arrived and famously opened broadcasts with The Buggles Video Killed The Radio Star, the Prime Minister and President of Iran were killed in a bomb attack by the Mujahideen, and Mark Chapman was sentenced to life imprisonment for the murder of John Lennon; in the ascendant (literally) were the Voyager 2 space probe (which made its closest approach to Saturn), and Moira Stuart (who was appointed the BBC's first black newsreader), but we bade a sad farewell to "national treasure" Jessie Matthews. In our cinemas: Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Herbie Goes Bananas and The Watcher in the Woods. On telly: Three of a Kind, Knots Landing, the last ever series of It Ain't Half Hot Mum, and TSW replaced Westward Television in the South West of England.

Our charts in the UK were a confusing mis-match of the "uber-cool" and the not-so-fondly remembered this week in '81. At the top slot was the "King of Naff" Shakin' Stevens with Green Door, and also present and correct were such embarrassments as Hooked On Classics, Aneka's Japanese Boy and something called The Caribbean Disco Show by Lobo, as well as ELO, Stevie Wonder and Tight Fit. Elsewhere in the chart, on the other hand, were a clutch of artists we indelibly associate with this era such as Kim Wilde, Spandau Ballet, UB40, Depeche Mode, The Specials, Dexy's Midnight Runners, Siouxsie & the Banshees, Kate Bush, Ultravox and Visage, and also jostling for space in the Top Ten were Duran Duran, Soft Cell...

...and this fantabulosa choon! A firm favourite of mine, then, now, and forever:

I used to "pointy-dance" like a mad thing in the clubs to that song. I still would today, but for the creaky knees, the lack of energy and the unbalanced centre of gravity.

Oh, to be eighteen again...

Friday 21 August 2020

When I first heard funky music, it just blew my mind

Good grief!

Among yet another bizarre assortment of famous fellow celebrants, including Dame Janet Baker, Joe Strummer, Jackie DeShannon, Aubrey Beardsley, Kenny Rogers, Donald Dewar, Dina Carroll, Count Basie, Princess Margaret, Barry Norman, Friz Freleng, Jack Weston, Kim Cattrall, Kelis, King William IV and Usain Bolt, the peculiarly androgynous blonde bombshell [I have commented before: you never saw him and Amanda Lear in the same place] Patrick Juvet is seventy years old today...

Lets wheel the old gal out one more time, shall we, for a ridiculously camp lip-synched performance of his greatest, and most-remembered, hit - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Thank heavens for that. The longest week of my life is almost over, and it will soon be time to party for real.

Have a good weekend, peeps!

Bon anniversaire, Patrick Juvet (born 21st August 1950)

Thursday 20 August 2020

Non-vocal Vocalise

Working from home is made so much simpler with the top-of-the-range technology supplied by one's employer.

This morning initially promised it might be a much-needed sunny day after the "great wet" of the past week or so, but now the clouds are looming again, so that's that stuffed. Hey ho, I'm glued to this shonky work laptop for the duration anyway, so what does it matter?

Time for a more cultural musical interlude, methinks, before I throw it out of the window...


I love these "home sessions" from Auntie Beeb.

Their computer connections work perfectly.

Wednesday 19 August 2020


How we think we look...

How the world sees us...

This "lockdown diet"'s not going well.

Tuesday 18 August 2020

Hollywood Dames

We have not one, but two centenaries to celebrate, dear reader...

"I've always been a tough Irish lass."

[When asked what her most marked characteristic was]: "The hell and fire in me! They came as a set."

...the much-missed Miss Maureen O'Hara yesterday...

[More here]

"I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long."

"I hate to tell you how old I am, but I reached the age of consent 75,000 consents ago."

...and the faboo Miss Shelley Winters today!

[More here]

They just don't make 'em like that any more!

Monday 17 August 2020

In elke discotheek of zaal

Aaaaaaargh! What's that noise?

Shit. It's the alarm going off. The fortnight's fabulosity is over, and it's time to dig that bloody work laptop out again...

In my mind, I am still completely in "Amsterdam mode" [is it too early for a fizzy lager and a FEBO?] - so, to that end, on this Tacky Music Monday let's have something (erm) fabulously Dutch to cheer us all up!

Not entirely sure that helped ease me into all of this, but wat er ook zal zijn, zal zijn.

Have a good week, dear reader.

I won't.

Sunday 16 August 2020

Life is a mystery

It's my last day of freedom, dear reader.


However, there is some cheer afoot - for today is Our Glorious Leader Madonna's birthday!

All hail. [Even if she's looking even more scary than ever these days...]

As it is a miserable grey Sunday, and we usually try and play something a little more laid-back in such circumstances - why not let our "house band" Postmodern Jukebox lead the celebrations?

[Not forgetting their faboo multi-talented frontwoman Gunhild Carling's OTT tribute to the great lady that I featured last year...]

Many happy returns, Madonna Louise Ciccone (born 16th August 1958)

Saturday 15 August 2020

I'm livin' my life just to sing and be free

Among another slew of mis-matched birthday celebrants today, including Princess Anne's 70th and Jim Dale's 85th, as well as those of Oscar Peterson, Ben Affleck, Maggie's twins Mark and Carole Thatcher, Jennifer Lawrence, Sir Walter Scott, Julia Child, hit songwriter Jimmy Webb, Melinda Gates, Ethel Barrymore, E. Nesbit, Nicolas Roeg, Debra Messing, Dame Wendy Hiller and Napoleon, I find the purveyor of a familiar one-hit-wonder (here in the UK, anyhow), Miss Patsy Gallant...

...and what a memorable hit it was, too - all together, now!

In my mind there's a face
On my lips there's a name
In my life there's no place
For the man that I love
Cause I'm livin' my life
Just to sing and be free

From L.A. to New York, from New York to L.A

From New York to L.A

I'm a star in New York, I'm a star in L.A
In my life there's no place for the man that I love
Cause I'm livin my life just to sing and be free

From LA to New York, from New York to LA

The city life of flashing lights
Busy streets and fancy cars
Booze and drugs and all the clubs
Everyone's a shining star

Was so inviting to my eyes
That I can only be surprised
By all the sounds and sights to see
I thought all this was meant for me
But was it really meant for me?
I'm a star in New York, I'm a star in L.A
In my life there's no place for the man that I love
Cause I'm livin' my life just to sing and be free

From L.A. to New York, from New York to L.A

The city lights are often blurred
By stories we've already heard
Booze and drugs now break my head
Cause all the shining stars are dead

I sometimes close my tired eyes
Look at myself, be hypnotized
Findin' a reason of lovin' you
The man I thought was meant for me
But were you really meant for me?

I'm a star in New York, I'm a star in L.A
In my life there's no place for the man that I love
Cause I'm livin' my life just to sing and be free

Can that song really be forty-three years old?!


Friday 14 August 2020

Flashing lights in hyper space

Be careful what you wish for, they say. A mere few hours after I posted yesterday's moan about the continuing stifling heat, the most dramatic storm arrived - crashing thunder and lightning all around us - and several inches of rain fell in a matter of hours. Just after we'd watered all the pots again. Hey ho, at least the air's slightly cooler...

My lovely fortnight's holiday is slipping away far too quickly for my liking, too. However, the fact that today is Miss Sarah Brightman's sixtieth birthday gives me a perfect excuse (as if I need one!) to dig out my slightly-too-tight-these-days silver bodysuit and thigh boots in honour of her crowning career moment - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a good weekend, dear reader.

Thursday 13 August 2020

I need a shower...

...preferably with the lovely Warwick Rowers! [See here and here for more]

While listening to Erasure, of course:

How appropriate. Despite the breeze, it's still blazing out there...


Erasure, alongside (among others) Neneh Cherry, Sinéad O'Connor, Fine Young Cannibals, Deborah Harry & Iggy Pop, The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl, Annie Lennox, Thompson Twins, k.d. lang, U2, Jimmy Somerville and Lisa Stansfield recorded songs composed by Cole Porter (and the accompanying videos) as a benefit for AIDS charity Red Hot. Released in 1990, the project was appropriately titled Red Hot + Blue, and it sold over a million copies worldwide.

A reminder, perhaps, that COVID-19 is not the first global pandemic we have experienced in our lifetime.

Wednesday 12 August 2020

Tell me how you're feeling

And so we're back, dear reader, from our adventure to one of the most beautiful cities in the world - Amsterdam!

It was blazingly hot the whole time we were there - Saturday hit 37C! - and needless to say our room on the third floor of the hotel [The Anco - an old, charming building in the Red Light District, with the inevitable step-ladder-steep stairs and distinctly unmodernised windows - no air-conditioning] was more of a sauna than Thermos (RIP) ever was. Nothing bothered us hardy travellers however, and we wandered the grachten, had drinks in outside bruin cafés and visited our favourite gay bars as usual. Well almost "usual" - masks had to be worn around the rabbit-warren of alleys in the Red Light District and in the main shopping streets, some bars were doing temperature checks, seating was arranged to comply with social distancing and in some places contact details had to be given - but all of that is understandable. Everywhere and everyone was friendly and welcoming, and we were just ecstatic to be there at all...

Tarts on tour again

...but what did we miss while we were away? Obviously, the world is still reeling from the vile COVID - and several countries (even neighbouring Lowlands ones such as Luxembourg and Belgium) were removed from the UK's "travel corridor" list [the Netherlands by contrast has had a very low incidence of new cases so far]; the endless post-Brexit negotiations with the EU and other countries hit some bizarre stumbling blocks - over scallops and Stilton, apparently; following the devastating explosion in Beirut, its government resigned en masse; Belarus experienced mass rioting after the dodgy re-election of their dictator president; Trump is still mad, as is Putin; and a naked sunbather in Germany was pictured chasing a wild boar that stole his bag...

...we missed celebrating Patti Austin's 70th birthday, the 60th birthdays of both David Duchovny and the lovely Antonio Banderas, the 95th of Miss Arlene Dahl and the 97th of Miss Rhonda Fleming, two of the last surviving actresses of the "Golden Age of Hollywood"...

... and Our Princess Kylie released the official video for Say Something!

Sparkle, Kylie, SPARKLE!

Is it good to be back?


Thursday 6 August 2020

Want in Mokum ben ik rijk en gelukkig tegelijk

We're off on our little be-masked, social-distancing-at-all-times adventure to Amsterdam today! Yay!

Unfortunately our convenient early evening flight was changed by the gnomes at EasyJet to one that doesn't arrive at Schiphol till 10pm local time, which means we probably won't even get to our hotel till after 11, buggering up our first night good-and-proper - but regardless, we'll be wallowing in the loveliness of the city its locals call "Mokum" for a few [possibly hot!] days, which is something we've been looking forward to for months.

Here's our traditional send-off number...

"Normal" service may resume next Tuesday or Wednesday, dear reader...

Wednesday 5 August 2020

Essential oom-pah for beginners

We are firm believers, Madam Arcati and I, that people need more "oom-pah music" in their lives.

Continuing our mission of enlightenment, and our countdown - as we head up to stay with the boys in Essex to begin our holiday (we depart from Stansted for Amsterdam tomorrow evening) - here are two grootmeesters of that very genre, for your delectation. Former shoe saleswoman Zwaantje van de Belt-Pieters and former plasterer Jan van de Belt [for it is they] had string of hits in the Netherlands over a career that spanned five decades, and this was their greatest...

...all together, now:


Tuesday 4 August 2020

No one could wish for any better

We're getting excited now! Having spent the day getting clothes and bits ready to take away with us, and potting-on loads of "baby" plants so they don't dry out if the predicted tropical weather this weekend does actually hit, we're definitely in the holiday spirit... let's start the countdown to Amsterdam this Thursday with a most beloved paean to the most gorgeous old city in the world:

Indeed, the lyrics roughly translate as

On the canals of Amsterdam
I have pledged my whole heart forever
Amsterdam fills my thoughts
As the most beautiful city in our country
All the people of Amsterdam
All the lights in the evening late on the square
No one could wish for any better
Than to be someone from Amsterdam!

And you couldn't ask for a more appropriate sentiment than that.

Monday 3 August 2020

Let it hang

It's beautiful out there - and for once I can embrace the sunshine and gorgeousness of weekday weather, as I am on holiday.

I wouldn't normally be up at this hour, of course, but I have a dentist appointment this morning (for an extraction!), which does rather take the edge off it. It was, of course, the second thing - behind getting my hair cut, which I managed the other week - that I have been desperately waiting to get tackled during all this lockdown, so needs must.

Speaking of hair, here's a little something for a Tacky Music Monday dedicated to anyone who has yet to get to their hairdresser...

Wise words.

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sunday 2 August 2020

I think I'll travel on to Avalon

A more rewarding day spent in the garden today - the weather has been generally sunny, we've moved our new bench out of the "firing line" of the bloody wood-pigeons and their elderberry-fuelled purple shit, shifted some of the pots around, and generally pottered around dead-heading and feeding the plants. With everything in pots, getting things in order and watered is a bit of a task - but we'll need to make sure everything's in the best of health for when we're away.

In keeping with the "Sunday mood", here's some "Sunday music" - a delightful meeting of three great voices, in perfect harmony...


Saturday 1 August 2020

Don't be stingy I'm a growing girl

Another peek up my back passage [Click to embiggen]

Up and down like a whore's drawers, this weather! One minute it's sunny, the next the sky turns completely black. Hey ho, I've managed to do some pottering regardless, which is something...

...after four whole months in lockdown, this is about as much exercise as I have managed to get, to be honest.

Some people, however, don't care about what people think about their ever-expanding waistline - I'm with Motormouth Maybelle on this one!

Once upon a time
Girl I was just like you
Never let my extra large
Largesse shine through

Hair was brown and nappy
Never had no fun
I hid under a bushel
Which is easier said than done

Then one day my grandma
Who was big and stout
She said you gotta love yourself
From inside out

And just as soon as I learned
How to strut my funky stuff
I found out that the world at large
Can't get enough so

Bring on that pecan pie
Pour some sugar on it
Sugar, don't be shy

Scoop me up a mess
Of that chocolate swirl
Don't be stingy
I'm a growing girl

I offer
big love
With no apology
How can I deny the world
The most of me

I am not afraid
To throw my weight around
Pound by pound by pound
Because I'm

Big, blond and beautiful
There is nothin' 'bout me
That's unsuitable

No one wants a meal
That only offers the least
When girl we're servin' up
The whole damn feast

Slice off a piece
Of that hog head cheese
Then take a look inside
My book of recipes

Now, don't you sniff around
For something fluffy and light
I need a man who brings
A man size appetite

Now, get me some bacon sarnies...