...it's our darling Patron Saint of Pizazz Liza Minnelli's birthday!
Gather around, I've got a story to tell
About a Manhattan lady that I knew very well
She lives at five Riverside, her name is Shirley Devore
And she travelled 'round the world to meet the guy next door
Well, there was trouble inside apartment 29E
'Cause Shirley's mother and dad were as upset as can be
They said we hate to complain, dear
And we don't like to grouse
But you're nearly 32, you should get out of the house
You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring them bells
Well, Shirley was 31, which she was loathe to admit
And she had never been loved, which didn't thrill her a bit
And so she sat and she thought, she thought for hours on end
And said I'll go to Chase, Manhattan where I got me a friend
And so she borrowed a thou' and called TWA
And told her mother and dad that she was up and away
I'm gonna travel the continent, a month, maybe, two
And haul me home a hus' if it's the last thing I do
You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring them bells
She met a Londoner first but they did not hit it off
'Cause everything she approached, he got bronchial cough
And so she went to Madrid and met a handsome senior
But he like to throw the bull and he was no matador
She also bombed out in Brussels, in Mallorca and Rome
'Till someone said, "Try Dubrovnik, dear, before you go home"
'Cause it's the kind of a town where you'll be likely to fall
And all the toni cognoscenti find the Balkans a ball
You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make them sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring them bells
And so she went to Dubrovnik and the very first day
She met a guy on the beach who took her reason away
Yes, it was love at first sight and quite a beautiful scene
She said, "My name is Shirl Devore"
She said, "I'm Norm Saperstein"
She said, "Are you from New York?"
He said, "That can't be denied"
"I've got a swell junior three at number five, Riverside"
"Five?"
"Five, Riverside Drive in New York, that's where you live?"
"That's where I lived, Five, are you sure?"
As if that wasn't enough for Shirley thought she'd gone deaf
When he told her his apartment there was 29F
Yes, she was "E", he was "F" and they had not even met
Until she travelled the world to Yugoslavia yet
He'd always been right next door and she would never have known
If she hadn't tried Dubrovnik, she might still be alone
Well, there's a moral to learn from little Shirley Devore
Who had to borrow a thou' to find a lover next door
You girls who live in apartments, don't just stare at the wall
Open up the door and hurry out in the hall
And, oh, ring them bells, come on, come on, ring them bells
Make 'em sing, you'd better ring the bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting-a-ling
You gotta ring swing them, ring them, swing them, right them bells!
Many happy returns, Liza!
Liza May Minnelli (born 12th March 1946)
