Friday 31 May 2019

Turn it upside down

The weekend beckons again - and, despite appearances to the contrary out of the office window (grey and miserable, mainly) there's a good chance of temperatures hitting the high 20s here in London. That would make a nice change.

Whatever the weather, it would have been the 65th birthday today of one of the late, great pioneers of the genre Miss Vicki Sue Robinson, so let's crack open the Babycham, crank up the wireless, get boogieing...

...and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a fantabulosa weekend, folks.

Thursday 30 May 2019

Wednesday 29 May 2019

Drugs, rock 'n' roll, bad ass Vegas hoes, late-night booty calls and...

Totally gratuitous picture of Mr Rupert Everett - another icon celebrating his 60th birthday today - when he was still young and beautiful. Time's a terrible thing.

The oddest news story today had to be the mass panic that was caused by a suspected landmine washed up on the banks of the Thames at Wapping today - that turned out to be...

... a gigantic shiny bauble!

And we know a song about that, don't we, children?

[I couldn't resist it!]

Tuesday 28 May 2019

She loves the theatre but never comes late

An icon of mine, the undisputed maestro of the New Romantic era, Steve Strange would have been 60 today!

Born just up the road from moi in South Wales, the former Mr Harrington was obsessed with art and fashion from a young age. Via the punk explosion, he met Glenn Matlock and Malcolm McLaren, so it was probably inevitable he would end up heading for the bright lights of London - and within a short time, he was "the face" of his own club (Blitz, with Rusty Egan), was selected (by the man himself) to appear in David Bowie's Ashes to Ashes video, and with his hastily-assembled band Visage [and that video, of course] had a worldwide hit that influenced myriad bands who followed.

By way of a tribute, I have found something even I never heard/saw before - and it's faboo!

Rodgers and Hart would approve, I'm sure.

Stephen John Harrington (28th May 1959 – 12th February 2015)

Monday 27 May 2019

Over my shoulder goes it all

It may be a Bank Holiday, but I haven't forgotten it is a Tacky Music Monday...

Today also happens to be the birthday of the dearly missed Cilla Black - and who better to provide us with a bit of terpsichorean cheer?

Here's an excerpt from her telly show from way back in glorious monochrome 1968, where she pays tribute to the one and only Jessie Matthews [skip to around 1:48 in; however if you're of a sensitive nature, you may feel the need to switch off straight after it - the show also features Cliff-bloody-Richard]!

Have a good week, dear reader - it's a short one!

Sunday 26 May 2019

I feel fine and I feel good

Our five-foot Thalictrum delavayi, looking gorgeous.

So, as is usual on a Bank Holiday weekend, the scorching sunshine has given over to muggy air and mizzle. I've still managed to get some stuff done - our haul of new fuchsias from Essex is being potted up slowly but surely into hanging pots and troughs, and the ipomeas are potted and staked ready to scrabble away...

Now that I am taking shelter from what looks like a storm brewing, it's time for a distraction, methinks. How about house favourites here at Dolores Delargo Towers, Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox and their faboo take on an 80s classic?

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say

And, just in case anyone fails to recognise it - here's the original:

Ah, that makes the rain more bearable...

Saturday 25 May 2019

Gay Royalty

Gosh - dear old Serena is eighty years old today!

The eminent thespian is showing no signs of stopping, either - he is currently in the midst of an eighty date tour (80 dates for 80 years) up and down the country in his one man show Tolkien, Shakespeare and You, in which he promises to cover all things theatrical as well as, no doubt, anecdotes from his life on and off the stage - and, as probably "Britain's most eminent gayer" [this side of Dame Elton, of course], this will touch upon his coming-out journey.

Here's a rather excellent clip from a short film, in which he addresses that very subject...

Sir Ian Murray McKellen CH CBE (born 25th May 1939)

Friday 24 May 2019

My life is one, every weekend

Another weekend looms - and it's another Bank Holiday, peeps! The forecast looks OK, so it's three whole days in the garden pour moi, methinks...

But first - how about something brand new to get us in the party mood?

Fifteen years ago, an uplifting "Ibiza classic" called Lola's Theme [as I featured here, albeit in orchestral form] stormed our charts - and now, the song's creators The Shapeshifters are back, accompanied by Chic vocalist Kimberly Davis, with this fantabulosa number, released today [on Miss Davis' birthday]!

Get your sparkles on, peeps; fire up the smoke machine - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

[No video as yet, unfortunately - but you can watch here a brief "making of" clip, featuring the group, the singer and the orchestra.]

Have a good one, dear reader, whatever you do!

Thursday 23 May 2019

An imaginary election held in a dream

Experts have advised that if there was ever an election where voters could throw caution to the wind and go hogwild, this is the one.

The electorate has been told to indulge their worst instincts and vote for whatever ridiculous fantasy candidate they like because none of it will make a jot of difference.

Pollster Denys Finch Hatton said: “One, it’s the European elections and nobody gives a shit who their MEP is or knows what they do.

“Two, we’re probably leaving the EU within the year anyway so the whole thing’s completely pointless and serves no purpose other than kids getting a day off school.

“Finally it’s proportional representation, so if you want to briefly reward a career eco-warrior or frothing xenophobe with a 10-grand-a-month salary for as long as it lasts, now’s your chance.

“It’s an imaginary election held in a dream and the results will mean nothing more than whatever both sides want them to. Go apeshit.”

Voter Nikki Hollis said: “Yeah, I mean look at these choices – the Brexit Party, Change UK, the Conservatives, Corbyn’s Labour Party. It can’t be important if these twats are allowed to take part.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

[All the news from the EU elections is on the BBC website. If you can be arsed.]

Wednesday 22 May 2019

Back with the heavyweight Jams

Timeslip moment again...

Our trusty TARDIS has thrust us headlong into 1991 - the year of the final demise of the Soviet Union and the end of the "Cold War", the creation of fifteen new post-Soviet states, Boris Yeltsin climbing atop a tank in Red Square, end of apartheid in South Africa, Sunday trading, Canary Wharf, Tim Berners-Lee, Truth or Dare, the IRA mortar attack on 10 Downing Street, Operation Desert Storm, The Commitments, Jack Kevorkian, the collapse of Yugoslavia and ensuing war, Jeffrey Dahmer, the Bank of Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) fraud scandal, Edward Scissorhands, Archbishop of Canterbury George Carey, Chancer, the Mount Pinatubo eruption, Rodney King, France's first female prime minister Édith Cresson, civil wars in Sri Lanka and Ethiopia and El Salvador, Magic Johnson, Stella Rimington, and (Everything I Do) I Do It for You being at #1 for fifteen weeks; the births of Johanna Konta, Jedward, Louis Tomlinson, Sonic the Hedgehog, Pixie Lott, PC World, the National Gallery's new Sainsbury Wing, the Big Issue, the Citizen's Charter and bloody Ed Sheeran; and the deaths of Freddie Mercury, David Lean, Margot Fonteyn, Wilfrid Hyde-White, Lee Remick, Dr. Seuss, Miles Davis, Robert Maxwell, Michael Landon, Gene Roddenberry, Yves Montand, Graham Greene, Eric Heffer, Thames Television and TV-AM.

In the news in May 1991: HM The Queen's official visit to the USA, the trial of Winnie Mandela, Croatia's declaration of independence from Yugoslavia, the Israeli rescue of thousands of Ethiopian Jews from that country's civil war in "Operation Solomon", Sony's announcement that it was to build a new factory in Bridgend with 1,400 jobs, and the assassination of Rajiv Gandhi; in the ascendant (literally) was first British person in space Helen Sharman (who spent eight days with the researchers on the Russian Mir space station), but we bade a very sad farewell to "that effing lady" Miss Coral Browne, and to TV comic Bernie Winters. In our cinemas were Misery, Mermaids and Silence of the Lambs. On telly: the snooker-based game show Big Break; Lynda Bellingham and James Bolam in Second Thoughts; Richard O'Brien's The Crystal Maze.

And what about the UK Top Ten this week twenty-eight years ago? The eternal Cher was at week three of her five-week reign at #1 with The Shoop Shoop Song (It's In His Kiss), and also present and correct were Crystal Waters, Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark, Cathy Dennis, Electronic, Beverley Craven, Blur, Zucchero featuring Paul Young, and a re-working of Tainted Love by Marc Almond.

And this one!


Tuesday 21 May 2019

Totty of the Day

Somebody please hose me down...'s sex god Tom Daley's 25th birthday today!!

Monday 20 May 2019

History repeating...

We wuz robbed! Again.

The UK entry in the Eurovision Song Contest might not have been our taste, but it (and singer Michael Rice) wasn't so bad that it deserved to come last in the contest - there was certainly a helluva lot worse on offer on Saturday night...

Our gang gathered en masse at the completely flag-bedecked Dolores Delargo Towers once more - all dressed for the occasion, and champing at the bit for the "Gay World Cup" to come. As ever, I do the allocations for the guests - one country for costume/flag, one for booze and one for food each - and as ever, they did not disappoint!

Among the representatives, we had a Swedish flag on legs, a character from a Breugel painting (Netherlands), a Thor (Norway) and an S&M Viking (Iceland):

... and there was a frou-frou Czech national, a Portuguese peasant, an Israeli girl folk dancer with a beard - and... Bernadette from Priscilla Queen of the Desert (Australia)!

Every surface was creaking with morsels (and drink, of course) in the copious buffet, and we had plenty of time for libations and merriment (and an "ooh-ah" at the extensive gardens) before - scorecards in hand - we prepared for the "songs" to begin.

As is expected every year, it was a mixed bag. We loathed the "virtue signalling" French entry, the German "sisters" and the execrable (and most peculiar-looking) couple from Slovenia; but on the whole, a vast number of the entries committed the cardinal sin of just being boring - including the eventual winner from the Netherlands. As my sister said, loads of “we are all one, love, unity, love, children, bunnies”.

Host Graham Norton was on top form, as usual, with his sly back-handed compliments and hilarious asides - but even he could not save us.

The official voting system (first the jury votes, then the public ones) caused some wild variations in the final winners' table - for the first half of the voting, it was a neck-and-neck race between the North Macedonian and Swedish entries, but the public preferred Italy, Russia (of course, given the number of Eastern European ex-pats), Switzerland and the Dutch:

1 Netherlands
2 Italy
3 Russia
4 Switzerland
5 Norway

We, on the other hand, had a rather different Top 5. In ascending order:

Our ultimate favourite Norway was the only one that was in the "real" Top 5 (in fifth place). It is a fabulous production number - and where else but Eurovision would you hear rapping in Saami (the language of Lapland)? And yes! We did love those "rebellious Icelanders" - the ones who, controversially, waved Palestine flags at the camera during the voting, to piss off the Israeli hosts - BDSM and all. However, although he did not get as low a score as in the real contest, the UK entry was not one of the most popular round our place...

And what of Madonna's much-vaunted half-time performance? Hmmm. Not one of her best, we agreed. As Ed Power in his (two-star) review for the Telegraph summed it up perfectly:
Coming on after an evening of glitz, kitsch and Australians wobbling on huge sticks, Madonna seemed to find it difficult to read the room. The result was a turn that felt skittish and which, for all its ambition, never truly connected.

It didn’t help that her voice didn’t quite hit the peaks we know it can. Nor at any point did she appear to be be enjoying herself. Her trip to Israel had been condemned by pro-Palestine groups. Madonna had responded by saying she would “never stop playing music to suit someone's political agenda” and would pray “for a new path toward peace”. She certainly presented an unbowed figure on the night. But had the criticism unmoored her slightly?

The idea that Madonna could turn up at Eurovision dressed as a one-eyed space pirate, surrounded by humming monks, yet fail to add to the camp quotient obviously sounds absurd. Nevertheless, she did slightly suck the heat out of the room as she kicked off with a scary goth version of Like A Prayer.

She appeared at the top of a stairs that seemed to have been pinched from the set of Game of Thrones. This in itself was a distraction. Madonna and steps haven’t had the happiest of histories and her tumble at the 2015 Brit Awards will have been on the minds of many watching at home (you can bet it was on Madge’s).

But, to her credit, she made it all the way down. There her treat was an appearance by two further singing monks carting huge styrofoam battering rams.

The excitement wasn’t over (actually it hadn’t really begun) as she segued into her new single Future, for which she was joined by rapper Quavo [in an interview beforehand Quavo revealed he was delighted to be at Eurovision despite seemingly having learned of the existence of Eurovision five minutes earlier].

Here Madonna abandoned any pretence at trying to win over the Eurovision audience. This was a grim, auto-tuned number that wanted very badly to be a Soundcloud rap banger. Her dancers were obviously now wearing gas-masks while the video screens projected images of flames and grim-looking world leader types. It takes a lot to reduce a Eurovision audience to a mass of restless moochers. But Madonna managed it.

Perhaps the crowd was fed up from all the waiting. All evening we’d been teased about an exclusive Madonna appearance. We knew she was in the building, having arrived in Tel Aviv earlier in the week on the private jet of Israel-Canadian billionaire Sylvan Adams.

The expectation was that once all 26 singers were done, we’d cut to a mad-for-it Madge and her monks. Instead the slightly seat of its pants production forced us to watch the “one of the world’s greatest mentalists” and to then applaud a woman dressed as a banana singing about bananas.

This was weird but not nearly as weird as Madonna in the contestants’ green room. She was in full intergalactic corsair outfit and being interviewed by one of the terrified hosts. When she failed to laugh at one of his jokes and instead glared at her trousers you could almost see his soul leave his body. It got stranger – of course it did – as Madonna forced the Eurovision hopefuls to sing the chorus of her 2000 quasi-hit Music, in furtherance of world peace. Even with world peace on the line they didn’t really seem into it.

All of which led up to the actual performance. Madonna, her monks and gas masks having creeped out 200 million viewers at home, will have concluded that she at least got our attention. The organisers may have wished they’d asked Kylie instead.

For us, the best part of the whole evening was the segment where four previous winners of the contest were invited to perform winning songs originally done by other artists...

Sorry, Madge - but that's what Eurovision is all about... [And all eminently suitable for a Tacky Music Monday, of course!]

Same time, same place, next year? Of course!

Sunday 19 May 2019

Like a filly who is ready for the race

We're in full "recovery mode" here at Dolores Delargo Towers after hosting a fabulous (and very late) party last night for the Eurovision Song Contest - more on that later, no doubt - so it is quite a joy to discover that today is the 80th birthday of the lovely Nancy Kwan.

As if I'd ever need an excuse to (once again) feature this camp classic...

I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.

I adore being dressed in something frilly
When my date comes to get me at my place.
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,
Like a filly who is ready for the race!

When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

When men say I'm cute and funny
And my teeth aren't teeth, but pearl,
I just lap it up like honey
I enjoy being a girl!

I flip when a fellow sends me flowers,
I drool over dresses made of lace,
I talk on the telephone for hours
With a pound and a half of cream upon my face!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

When men say I'm sweet as candy
As around in a dance we whirl,
It goes to my head like brandy,
I enjoy being a girl!

When someone with eyes that smoulder
Says he loves ev'ry silken curl
That falls on my iv'ry shoulder,
I enjoy being a girl!

When I hear the compliment'ry whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea,
I turn and I glower and I bristle,
But I happy to know the whistle's meant for me!

I'm strictly a female female
And my future I hope will be
In the home of a brave and free male
Who'll enjoy being a guy having a girl... like... me.

A drag queen standard.

Feeling better now...

Nancy "Ka Shen" Kwan (born 19th May 1939)

Saturday 18 May 2019

Dare to Dream, indeed

OK - Dolores Delargo Towers is cleeeaan; the flags and bunting and all are in place; just the buffet to put out, guests to arrive, and we're off!

As we feel the "lull before the storm" in anticipation of tonight's Grand Final Eurovision Party, so we could only imagine what it would be like if another presenter were to take over the BBC commentary from Graham Norton...

...or can we?


[Many thanks to the lovely Dinahmow for pointing me in the direction of this one!]

Friday 17 May 2019

Heaven, I'm in Heaven

From the venue's gigs website:
London clubland in the 1970s was a fairly dismal place. It compared very unfavourably with New York and many European cities and the concept of ‘clubbing’ as we understand the term today simply did not exist.

To that end a group of innovative characters got together and took over the site that was a run down old roller disco called Global Village and in December 1979 Heaven opened its doors for the first time. It was timed perfectly. Six months earlier Mrs Thatcher had been elected and an era began that saw unemployment rise to levels last seen in the 1930s. The sense of decay and gloom was palpable. The ‘Swinging London’ of the 1960s a distant memory. London needed a splash of colour and flamboyance to counter-balance the otherwise grey monochrome that was the reality of the British capital.

Heaven was the brainchild of Jeremy Norman, responsible for the Embassy Club, which was seen as the nearest London had to Studio 54 in New York. Heaven quickly became the focal point for what had until then been a fairly understated gay scene that hitherto had been based in small hidden cellar bars or pub discos. When Heaven opened its doors in 1979 only twelve years had elapsed since the decriminalisation of homosexuality, and at the time there was still a lot of overt prejudice against gay men and lesbians. Heaven bore the brunt of some of that intolerance and in those days was regarded warily by the authorities.

It did however establish itself as a club venue that constantly re-invented itself... There were periodic live shows featuring bands who fancied playing an off the wall venue rather than the usual spit and sawdust live music venues. New Order played their first London show here in 1981. Bauhaus were filmed at Heaven in 1982 performing their classic Bela Lugosi’s Dead, the footage for which was used in the Catherine Deneuve/David Bowie film The Hunger – one of the original ‘sexy vampire’ movies.

In 2008 MAMA Group went into partnership with G-A-Y founder Jeremy Joseph and purchased Heaven... Jeremy took over sole ownership of Heaven in 2013. G-A-Y was moved over from the Astoria, which was in the process of closing down, and this now occupies the main club sessions on a Thursday, Friday and Saturday and has featured notable performances since that time by Adele, Lady Gaga, Jessie J, Miley Cyrus, One Direction amongst many others.
The rest, as they say, is history.

And so it was that on Wednesday night a little gang of us joined a packed room of old regulars, together with hordes of new faces, in that legendary cavernous under-the-arches venue for a very special 40th anniversary event indeed - as "London's peerless gay literary salon" Polari joined the party. And it was spectacular!

Our host Mr Paul Burston was as proud as a new dad to be up there on the glittering stage that has previously played host to Kylie, Madonna and Britney, as he paid tribute to his experiences of first coming to Heaven as an out-of-town teen - then it was time for our first guest...

Our chum "Sexy Lexi" Alexis Gregory has come a long way since we first knew him as bar whore at BarCode Soho. Playwright, award-winning writer, and - above all, as his performance here tonight ably demonstrated [notwithstanding the magnificence of his "immersive" play Slap that we went to see back in 2015] - an accomplished actor. His latest play Riot Act is actually a completely verbatim portrayal of the stories told by three gay pioneers [whom Lexi personally interviewed]: our very own Mr Burston (who was an activist in the UK in the days of ACT-UP); Miss Lavinia Co-op, drag queen with Bette Bourne's Bloolips troupe and veteran of the 1970s Gay Lib movement; and [the character he inhabited this evening] Michael-Anthony Nozzi, possibly the last survivor of the Stonewall riots in New York [which happened 50 years ago this year].

As Trinidad and Tobago gay activist Jason Jones said in his review:
The Stonewall Riots of June 1969 are fairly well documented, but this first-hand and deeply personal account is full of subtle details and nuances that only someone who was truly present at that historic moment can capture and express.

Nozzi’s account is deeply profound as it captures the essence of what transpired nearly fifty years ago, and what the sparks were that lit the flames that night (Judy Garland RIP); it echoes today in a rather poignant manner as we see Pride celebrations across the world being mired in identity politics, infighting, commercialisation and seemingly losing relevance as to the original intended purposes.

When Alexis Gregory’s atmospheric raspy vocal of Nozzi talks about the blood and gore being everywhere, that even the coins from 'the wishing well', a glass jar that was inside of The Stonewall Inn to collect donations - which a drag queen smashed over a policeman’s head that night of the raid - had spilled out and were stuck to the pavement with blood, you are left wondering: what has LGBT activism become today, and are we too docile in fighting for our equal rights?
And so it was - I was on occasions left gasping for breath as Lexi brought this whole shocking and ground-breaking scenario to life, with the impeccably conveyed world-weary drawl of a New York resident remembering for the first time in years how empowering - if terrifying - the riot was. He still recalled: "You know what's strange, I felt safer on the night of the riots, on the sidewalk in front of Stonewall, than I did in my own home town."

Shocking yet fabulous stuff. Here's Lexi himself talking about the play:

Our host Paul himself faced some effort to follow that! He did so admirably, of course, with an extract from his own latest novel, the psychological thriller The Closer I Get - a tantalising snippet of the tale of best-selling author Tom and his coldly obsessive "stalker" Evie; he set the scene at a stage where the obsession seems apparently to have taken them as far as the courts, yet Evie refuses to let it be:
Listening to all the legal arguments today, I was struck by a number of things. One: what a mess we've made for ourselves! Two: what clever bastards these lawyers are. They twist everything, don't they? And three: wouldn't it be easier if we just sorted this our between ourselves?

I know we tried before, that night I waited for you outside your flat. Maybe if you'd invited me in instead of freaking out and calling the police, we could have resolved our differences there and then. We still could. It's not too late. Why make is harder than it needs to be? I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are.

Promise me you'll think about it. Sleep on it and email me in the morning. And if I don't hear from you, at least I'll know where I stand.

And I'll see you tomorrow in court.



An evening of such impressive stature wouldn't be complete, of course, if one didn't get "Varjacked"! And by that, I of course refer to the one-woman whirlwind that is Ms Paula Varjack, lesbian-bisexual poetry's answer to Beyoncé...

We first saw the divine Ms V yonks ago, in 2011 in fact. She stunned us then, and she stunned us again, with her vehemently defiant readings of classics such as Dear Straight Girl [follow the link earlier in this paragraph for that] and more from her vast catalogue, plus this [or at least a brief extract thereof, courtesy of our host Paul] - a sublime musical monologue/paean to her own first encounter with our host venue, created especially for the evening:

We love being Varjacked.

We've enjoyed the complete lunacy of the "Writer-in-Residence at the 197 bus stop on Croydon Road in Penge" Barbara Brownskirt many times before, of course. However, when accompanied/introduced by her very own cagoule-clad dance combo "The Brownskirts", we were in fits of laughter! Suitably fired-up by this Terpsichorean spectacle, we lapped up Ms B's delightfully tacky odes including Fabergé Eggs (Between Your Legs), Cruelty-Free Shoes and, of course, the crowd-pleaser Judi Judi Judi Judi Judi Judi Judi Dench!

Ms Karen McLeod, the woman behind the brown skirt, is an absolute genius...

Not to be outdone, the living icon that is Neil Bartlett, OBE - acclaimed writer, theatrical impresario and director, gay rights campaigner and utterly mesmerising thesp - took to the stage of the venue that was at one time his "second home". His monologue, all about his discovery of Hi-NRG pop, poppers and sleazy sex - with three men, in a cubicle, in the club [nah, Ive never done that; much] - all courtesy of Heaven in its heyday, led to a most bizarre conclusion.

Reciting, as Mr Bartlett did, the lyrics as if they were profound poetry, the audience found themselves singing along as one to (ahem)... Miss Belinda Carlisle!

Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh heaven is a place on earth
They say in heaven love comes first
We'll make heaven a place on earth
Ooh heaven is a place on earth

When I feel alone
I reach for you
And you bring me home
When I'm lost at sea
I hear your voice
And it carries me

In this world we're just beginning
To understand the miracle of living
Baby I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore

I will look at that song in a very different light forever more.

Finally, headlining an evening of poetry, prose, drama, monologues and dance - a singer extraordinaire! Ms Adele Anderson (for it is she) is another beloved artiste here at Dolores Delargo Towers - we've seen her several times as a founding member of Fascinating Aida, and as a part of the ensemble of artistes hosted by the irrepressible Eve Ferret in her show. Now it was her turn as a solo act to provide the thrills...

She certainly didn't disappoint! Opening with a faboo "German" number - all "Marlene Dietrich-esque" growling vocals and and playing upon the homophone "Weill/Vile" - Adele just owned that stage for the next twenty minutes or so. Here's a clip [courtesy of Paul B again]:

Her takes on Tell Laura I Love Her, a number with which we are unfamiliar which I think was called Baby Let Me Wear Your Clothes, and - in particular - her stalker-ish take on the otherwise camp classic I Who Have Nothing were all fantastic. The audience gave her a much-deserved standing ovation.

This was just as well, as, following the customary "curtain call", the club's minions set to work collecting the chairs, and the DJ Dave Cross ascended to the stage... he was setting up, we went outside en masse for a fag - and just so happened to bump into Our Sal, dragged her into the club, and we all had a bop for the rest of the evening to a load of 70s-80s-90s anthems. I ached. Oh, I ached...

It was one of the most fantabulosa nights out I can recall in a long time.

Our next outing for Polari looks particularly interesting, as the headliner is activist, writer and film producer (Milk) Dustin Lance Black. I am hoping his hubby, and avowed lust object of mine, Tom Daley turns up - I have my tickets. And clean knickers ready... Also appearing are authors Collin Kelley, Kelleigh Greenberg-Jephcott and Angela Chadwick.

We love Polari!

Garniture, flugt og fart

One more day till the weekend. One more day till the madness of the Eurovision Song Contest!

I am taking a half-day just to tidy around and start putting the flags and bunting up, but meanwhile we have one more example of the sheer talent on offer at the contest, to add to the countdown...

...and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Disco tango à la carte
Og godt med garniture, flugt og fart
En jockey uden hest, der disc'er op
Med nyt fra USA, soul, reggae eller pop


Hope you're all singing along, peeps.

[Lyrics in English:
Disco tango à la carte
And lots of decorations, flight and speed
A jockey without a horse, who dishes up
With news from USA, soul, reggae or pop

Thursday 16 May 2019


As we continue our countdown to the grand final of the biggest musical event on earth, the BBC has posted an article that asks "is it time to take Eurovision seriously?"

We, of course, know the answer to that one.


Not when you have the [completely heterosexual] Herreys on hand:

[There is a version in English here, if you are feeling particularly masochistic]

...or this elaborate performance by Marie N and her safety gays:

...or indeed an angel and a demon from Azerbaijan:

Bring it on!

Wednesday 15 May 2019

Bigger than you or pie

To quote the random narrator (Tom Baker) from Little Britain:
"Britain, Britain, Britain. We've had running water for over ten years, we have a tunnel connecting us to Peru, and we invented the cat."
So, with recommendations like that for The Greatest Country On Earth ©, why, oh why do we do so badly at the Eurovision Song Contest? We put forward a faboo "entertainment combo" such as Scooch. Nada. Cult belter Bonnie Tyler? Nope. Award-winning vocal legend Engelbert Humperdick? Zilch. Sexy Top Ten boyband Blue? Ignored. "Serious" contenders such as Lucie Jones, Surie or Jade Ewen? Rejected.

We know Europe's politicians hate us. We know the Song Contest is inevitably full of cliques (the Scandi-bloc, the Adriatic neighbours, the former Soviets etc), but even so...

This year we pin our hopes on the sonorous tonsils of the rotund Michael Rice to turn this situation around for us - if only. If only. I am personally not that keen on his song, but we rather hope it may impress the judges and the voting audience.

Here's the remix version, which is a tad more bearable that the one we'll hear on Saturday:

Wish us luck, dears.

Tuesday 14 May 2019

J’donnerais tout ce que j’ai

Convoluted connections #773 in a series...

Today is the official opening ceremony of this year's Cannes Film Festival - yet another excuse for red carpets, back-slapping and "me, me, me" attention-seeking-masquerading-as-politics - which quite possibly rounds-off this season of major ceremonies (Oscars, Brits, BAFTAs and the like having passed) before the summer (of mainly music festivals) begins.

As this means all eyes are on France at the moment, this gives me the perfect excuse (during our countdown to Eurovision this weekend) to feature one of that country's (ahem) finest entries in the 63 years it has been a participant...

J’donnerais tout ce que j’ai
Contre une moustache
Maintenant je sais
C’que j’veux c’est
Une moustache

This delightful ditty led to the worst ever result for our Gallic chums, when it scraped in last in 2014 with two points.

Ahem, indeed.

Monday 13 May 2019

We're gonna do the bom bom

So, the sky is clear and the sun is shining - at last, May is doing what it is supposed to, after the grotty and cold snap we've had lately. Unfortunately, all this has come in time for us to return to the delights of the bastard office.

Never mind, eh? We at Dolores Delargo Towers are in full countdown mode to this weekend's Eurovision party, so...

...on this Tacky Music Monday, sod thinking about work, get your skimpiest, most outrageous clobber on, and enjoy the (ahem) talents of Svetlana Loboda!

Have a good week, peeps.

Sunday 12 May 2019

Are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Oh, Animaniacs! How we adored them. Of course, a kids' series that was only broadcast in the mid-90s was not part of my childhood, or anything like that. No - it was a show that those "in the know" always referred to as "Hangover TV": broadcast on weekend mornings here in the UK, but (thankfully) not too early, so those of us on our first cup of coffee, ibuprofen and a fag could have something completely unchallenging (and very funny) to watch while waking up.

Amongst the madness the show threw our way were characters such as "Yakko, Wakko and Dot", "Slappy Squirrel", "The Goodfeathers", and "Pinky and the Brain"...

...and who would have thought that genius combo (and house faves here at Dolores Delargo Towers) Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox would ever do a slinky cover of their theme tune?!

[And, yes! the bartenders are indeed Rob Paulsen and Maurice LaMarche, who voiced the dastardly mice (and many more besides)...]

Saturday 11 May 2019

Try some, buy some, fe, fi, foe, fum

Timeslip moment again...

We've been ejected from the Moonraker space shuttle into the weird and wonderful wilderness of 1979 - the year of Maggie Thatcher's rise to power after "the Winter of Discontent", the overthrow of both Pol Pot (in Cambodia) and Idi Amin (Uganda), eradication of the smallpox virus, Life of Brian, Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the Baader-Meinhof gang, the Egypt–Israel Peace Treaty, Anthony Blunt, Off the Wall, the notorious "Disco Demolition Night" at a baseball field in Chicago, Blair Peach, the Music for UNICEF Concert, Ayatollah Khomeini, the murders of Lord Mountbatten of Burma and Airey Neave by the IRA, Sebastian Coe, Sandinistas, "I don't like Mondays", the Unabomber, military coups in Ghana and Bolivia and the Central African Republic, Quadrophenia, the Iran hostage crisis and the Polish Pope; the births of Chris Pratt, Will Young, Leo Varadkar, Pink, James McAvoy, Sophie Ellis-Bextor, Saint Lucia, Kiribati, Adam Levine, Robyn, the compact disc, the Sony Walkman and the McDonald's Happy Meal; and the deaths of John Wayne, Sid Vicious, Richard Rodgers, Gracie Fields, Michael Wilding, Richard Beckinsale, Mary Pickford, Van McCoy, Joyce Grenfell, Joan Blondell, Minnie Riperton, Stan Kenton, Merle Oberon, Nino Rota and Donny Hathaway.

In the news headlines in May of that year: Mrs Thatcher formed her first government and announced a wave of privatisations of national industries, former Liberal Party leader Jeremy Thorpe went on trial for attempted murder of his secret gay lover, London's Jubilee line came into service, a fire in Woolworth's store in Manchester city centre killed ten people, the fall of the notorious Idi Amin was celebrated, in a horrific air disaster in Chicago more than 270 people were killed, and Thorpe Park theme park in Surrey opened; in the ascendant were Arsenal (who won the FA Cup) and Elton John (who became the first Western artist to play in the Soviet Union), but we bade a sad farewell to the troubled heiress and socialite Barbara Hutton. In our cinemas: Animal House; The Boys from Brazil; California Suite. On telly: Two Up, Two Down; Tales of the Unexpected; The Muppet Show.

And in our charts this week forty years ago? The seemingly unmoveable Art Garfunkel and Bright Eyes (on week #5 of six in prime position) was leading the pack, and also present and correct in the Top Ten were Boney M, Abba, Racey, Peaches and Herb, Wings, Amii Stewart, Supertramp and - erm - The Dickies.

However, an eternal favourite here at Dolores Delargo Towers had launched a serious challenge at #2 for the rabbit-themed-ballad's crown (it was never to get there, but it's still a winner in my eyes) - Robin Scott aka M, with a song that was launched by Kenny Everett on his Video Show, and was destined to be one of the mainstays of the early days of MTV...

Pop, pop, pop.


Friday 10 May 2019

Everybody looks so pretty

Deep joy - the weekend's almost upon us, the forecast is saying that the apocalyptic thunderstorms we've suffered for the past couple of days have blown over and finer weather is on its way, it's only one week to go before the madness that is Eurovision...

...and our Patron Saint the Princess of Pop Miss Kylie Minogue has a new single out! What better way to get ourselves in the mood for a party?

Thank Disco It's Friday!

New York City
Everybody looks so pretty
Ooh, it's givin' me those feelings
I just love the feels with you, with you, with you, with
New York City
When I'm with you, it looks so pretty
Ooh, it's givin' me those feelings
I just love the feels with you
I just wanna get, I just wanna get, get, yeah
I just wanna get to you

Have a Kylie-tastic weekend, dear reader...