I've got you in my heart, I got you in my head

Ignoring the UK general election and the US Independence Day completely... as our "summer" weather carries on in the bizarre pattern that it usually does in the UK at this time of year [it was considerably warmer at midnight last night than it was at midday yesterday], let us travel back in time to another unsettled yet rather warm year...1999!

Twenty-five years ago [gulp!] this month, it was indeed very dry and sunny, but thunderstorms were everywhere. That didn't stop us partying, of course!

Can these "songs of the summer" really be that old??!! Fuck.

A.T.F.C. Presents OnePhatDeeva - In And Out Of My Life

Basement Jaxx - Rendez Vu

Fragma - Toca Me

Vengaboys - Boom Boom Boom Boom

Afro Medusa - Pasilda

A quarter of a century?! Where did that go?

Latin rhythms and lalochezia

I certainly get lalochezia on the first day back to work after a Bank Holiday!

To divert attention from the creeping horror that overtakes us when we realise today is the meteorological Last Day of Summer, let's have another "timeslip moment"!

Today, we've leapt from the Nebuchadnezzar into the midst of the closing year of the millennium, 1999 [the year we moved to London] - the year of Kosovo, Clinton and David Copeland (who nail-bombed the Admiral Duncan gay bar); of Jill Dando's murder, Harold Shipman and the ascension of Putin; and the year the Scottish and Welsh parliaments, the Euro, Napster, MSN Messenger and the Millennium Dome were born.

In the news headlines in August '99: the solar eclipse over the UK [which was a bit of a "flash-in-the-pan", as I recall], outrage over the arrest of farmer Tony Martin for shooting a burglar in his home, a second war erupted in Chechnya, Charlie Kennedy became leader of the LibDems, and we bade a sad farewell to sports presenter Helen Rollason and one half of the Two Fat Ladies Jennifer Paterson. In our cinemas: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace; Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me; South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. On telly: The Sopranos; Animals Do the Funniest Things; House Doctor.

And in our charts this week twenty-two years ago? The all-conquering Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega had just crashed into the top slot, and there was a clutch of decent choons from Geri Halliwell, Moloko, Ricky Martin, Alice Deejay, Bran Van 3000, TLC and Another Level, and another dirge from Westlife making up the numbers.

But the second-highest entry in the Top 10 (destined never to reach the top, more's the pity) was another "Latin-flavoured" - and totally irresistible - classic; a makeover of an old Dean Martin hit, no less:

Shaft - (Mucho Mambo) Sway

When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close
Sway me more.(3x)

cha cha cha cha cha
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha
cha cha cha cha cha
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha

When marimba rhythms start to play
Dance with me, make me sway
Like the lazy ocean hugs the shore, hold me close
Sway me more.(4x)

I love it!

...but 22 years ago? Really?!

Fly away on Venga Airways

Timeslip moment again...

We've been dumped by battlecruiser the Excalibur into a Blairite Britain two decades ago - the year of Harold Shipman, the Admiral Duncan pub bombing, Shakespeare in Love, the murder of Jill Dando, the minimum wage, Tracey Emin, war in Kosovo, The Matrix, Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys-Jones, Ladbroke Grove rail crash, Jonathan Aitken, Columbine High School massacre, the official opening of the Millennium Dome, Steps, Thabo Mbeki and The Naked Chef; the births of Brooklyn Beckham, the Euro, Napster, ExxonMobil, and the terms "texting", "carbon footprint", "dashcam" and "blog"; it was also the year that Dusty Springfield, Quentin Crisp, Madeline Kahn, Ernie Wise, Lena Zavaroni, Anthony Newley, Cardinal Hume, Oliver Reed, John F. Kennedy Jr., Bill Owen, Willie Whitelaw, the Midland Bank, Stanley Kubrick and Screaming Lord Sutch all died.

In the news in September 1999: a furore erupted over the arrest of Norfolk farmer Tony Martin for shooting dead a burglar in his home, the funeral of Jill Dando took place, the Royal Bank of Scotland launched a hostile takeover bid for the NatWest Bank, huge earthquakes hit Athens and Taiwan, and the Police Review Commission recommended widespread reform of the Royal Ulster Constabulary. In the ascendant were Bobby Robson (appointed Newcastle United's new manager) and Jerry Springer (with a brand new British TV chat show), but we waved a fond farewell to singer and dancer Frankie Vaughan. In our cinemas: South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Eyes Wide Shut and Beautiful People. On telly: Diagnosis Murder, Family Guy and Loose Women.

And what of our charts this week in '99? A rather "Latino" feel, methinks. Holding onto the top spot was Lou Bega's timeless Mambo No 5, Mucho Mambo (Sway) by Shaft was at #3, Enrique Iglesias Bailamos was at #4, Geri Halliwell's Mi Chico Latino at #7, and Ricky Martin had just left the Top Ten. Also present and correct were Moloko, TLC, A1, Martine McCutcheon, Alice Deejay and - erm - DJ Jean [nope, me neither.]

Lurking outside the Top 40, however, was a choon that only by a stretch of the imagination could be described as "Latin" [the band is Dutch, and the original song was written and performed by two Welshmen masquerading as being from Barbados], yet was soon to sweep everything before it...

Vengaboys - We're Going to Ibiza!

Twenty years ago?!! Heavens.

Party like it's...

...1999!

Yes, it's another timeslip moment - our first of 2019 - and our rogue Starfighter has jettisoned us back twenty years, into the last knockings of the 20th century: the year of [whisper it] "I see dead people,", Bill Clinton's aquittal, Ricky Martin, Notting Hill, the end of the Kosovo War, "Jar-Jar Binks", the trial of the world's most prolific serial killer Harold Shipman, the Columbine Massacre, Vladimir Putin, the Ladbroke Grove rail crash, American Beauty, Thabo Mbeki, the murder of Jill Dando, "Flat Eric", war in Chechnya, and the transfer of the Panama Canal back to Panama; the births of Napster, Mamma Mia! (on the West End stage), the Scottish Parliament and National Assembly for Wales; and the deaths of Dusty Springfield, Ernie Wise, Dirk Bogarde, Quentin Crisp, John F. Kennedy Jr., Oliver Reed, Lena Zavaroni and Madeline Kahn.

In the headlines in January 1999: the Euro currency was born (although it was three years before any coins or notes went into circulation), China began a crackdown on Internet use, the ill-fated Mars Polar Lander was launched, and a remodelled Vauxhall Vectra arrived (to replace a model that had been criticised for its poor quality); in the ascendant was Britney Spears (who released her debut album, which ended up selling 32 million copies worldwide), but Glen Hoddle was sacked as England football manager (after making some wild and discriminatory comments about disabled people). In our cinemas: Hilary and Jackie, Little Voice and Shakespeare in Love. On telly: The League of Gentlemen, Holby City and Gimme Gimme Gimme; and long-standing Corrie character "Alf Roberts" died in his armchair, just a month before the actor who played him died in real life.

But what of our charts two decades ago this week? Boy-bands predominated, with 911 at #1 and Another Level as runners-up; and much of the rest of the Top Ten was taken up by dance acts including Fat Boy Slim, Emmie, Cassius and Blockster. Also present and correct were Bryan Adams feat. Melanie C, South Park's Chef and camp house faves Steps' Tragedy. But arriving into the #10 slot was the debut of one of my all-time favourite songs, and one that I haven't featured here for a long time (since I was in the midst of being made redundant over ten years ago, in fact; the lyrics being most apt in such circumstances) - take it away, Mr Tony Christie!

Tony Christie feat. All Seeing I - Walk Like a Panther

Marie has set up home
With a man who's half my age
A halfwit in a leotard stands on my stage
The standards have fallen
My value has dropped
But don't shed a tear
Some walk like they own the place
Whilst others creep in fear
Try if you can to walk like a man
But you don't come near

You've got to fly like an eagle
Prowl like a lion in Africa
Leap like a salmon home from the sea
To keep up with me
You've got to walk like a panther tonight
Walk like a panther tonight

The old home town just looks the same
Like a derelict man who had died out of shame
Like a jumble sale left out in the rain
It's not good, Its not right
The standards have fallen
My value has dropped
But don't shed a tear
Some walk like they own the place
Whilst others creep in fear
Try if you can to walk like a man
But you don't come near

You've got to fly like an eagle
Prowl like a lion in Africa
Leap like a salmon home from the sea
To keep up with me
You've got to walk like a panther tonight
Walk like a panther tonight

Where did you leave all self respect
You look like a reptile; your house is a wreck
Your existence an insult
Stains that are suspect cover your clothes
The standards have fallen
My value has dropped
But don't shed a tear
Some walk like they own the place
Whilst others creep in fear
Try if you can to walk like a man
But you don't come near

You've got to fly like an eagle
Prowl like a lion in Africa
Leap like a salmon home from the sea
To keep up with me
You've got to walk like a panther tonight
Walk like a panther tonight
Walk like a panther tonight

I still sing this to myself in the office on occasions.

Faboo!

Everlasting baby

We have a new apprentice in the office starting soon, who was born in... 1999 (!).

With that terrifying news ringing in my ears, I thought it opportune that we should have a little timeslip moment, back to that very year - when Boris Yeltsin handed over to Vladimir Putin, and Bill Clinton was acquitted in his impeachment trial; the year of the Kosovo War, Harold Shipman, The Matrix, Tracey Emin, Bill Gates, the Jonathan Aitken trial, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys-Jones' wedding, Jill Dando's murder, Family Guy, the Columbine massacre and the Admiral Duncan gay pub bombing, the deaths of Dusty Springfield, Victor Mature, Stanley Kubrick, Madeline Kahn, Ernie Wise, Oliver Reed and Dirk Bogarde, and the births of East Timor, the Euro, MSN Messenger, the Scottish Parliament, the Welsh Assembly and - ahem - SpongeBob SquarePants.

In the news in November 1999: Gary Glitter was jailed for possession of child pornography, Australia voted in favour of retaining HM The Queen as Head of State in a referendum, an inquest began into the crash of EgyptAir Flight 990 off the Massachusetts coast (in which 231 people were killed), International Men's Day (November 19th) was launched in the UN, and the (then) largest corporation in the world ExxonMobil was formed; in the ascendant (literally) were the Millennium Wheel (now the London Eye) and China's first Shenzhou space craft; but we bade a fond farewell to Quentin Crisp, who died (while on a tour of his one-man show across the UK) in the inauspicious town of Chorlton-cum-Hardy. In our cinemas: East Is East, The Sixth Sense and Milk. On telly: Walking with Dinosaurs, DIY SOS and MacIntyre Uncovered, and Julie Goodyear returned as Bet Lynch in a Corrie spin-off After Hours.

And in our charts this week eighteen years ago? There was evidently a flurry of new releases, as Savage Garden, Jennifer Lopez and Another Level crashed into the Top Ten to join the likes of Christina Aguilera, Macy Gray, Westlife, R Kelly and Five. Also leaping into the upper echelons were Tin Tin Out featuring Emma Bunton with What I Am at #2, and this slice of loveliness from Our Geri, straight in at the top slot. Where she belonged:

Geri Halliwell - Lift Me Up

Like the seasons ever changing
Everlasting baby, like you and I
It's going to be alright
But when my sky clouds over

(Lift Me Up) When the day is over
(Take me up) When the sun is going down
(Show me love) I will be your angel now
(Lift Me Up) When the lights are fading
(Talk me down) When I'm flying way up high
(Show me love) And I'll be your angel for life
Your angel for life

Flap, flap.*

[*Additional lyrics added by moi.]