Wednesday 30 September 2020


Oh, those heteros..!

[More ghastly porn decor over at Flashbak]

Tuesday 29 September 2020

Cutting-edge glamour

There's been so little "hoo-hah" about the season's traditional Fashion Weeks that one would hardly be aware they were being held at all (even, as is the case, online-only). I completely missed last week's London one; this week it is the turn of Paris, it seems...

I suppose most people are thinking "When exactly am I going to get the opportunity to actually go out wearing posh new clothes?" at the moment.

In an effort to remind us of the glamour, the fuss, the luxury and the downright ridiculousness of it all, I think we are well overdue a little wallow in the lives of impossibly glamorous people in unattainable locations once more, courtesy of the simply fantabulosa Soft Tempo Lounge!

Oh, that's better...

[Music: Bebu Silvetti - Voyage Of No Return. Original film: Haute Couture (1987)]

Monday 28 September 2020

Ground Zero

Typical. Two days of hurricane-force winds and bleakness, and I (very reluctantly) wake up today at the start of another fun-filled week working from home to find glorious sunshine and the makings of a lovely day. I could scream...

As we grit our teeth for the next five days - on this Tacky Music Monday, who better than the utterly bizarre Renato Zero to cheer us up..?!

I think I might wear this outfit for my next Zoom meeting.

[More of the irrepressible Signor Zero here]

Sunday 27 September 2020

Everything old is new again

Again, it has been ages since I presented a selection of "newer" choons that have caught my ear of late. So, without further ado - here's a selection for your delectation. Typically for moi, inevitably the list is largely made up of familiar artists making comebacks and a rather interesting cover of a 90s banger...

First up (of course) is the new one [so soon?] from Our Princess Kylie! This is right up our street...

Begging the question "why remake a classic?"; nevertheless next up is a rather faboo effort from (surprisingly) telly's fashion makeover queen, some anonymous DJ from Swindon and a former vocalist with Basement Jaxx:

Speaking of the 90s "Decade of Dance", how about the welcome return of the creators of such eternal anthems as Insomnia and God Is a DJ, with quite an odd love song to (ahem) a keyboard..?

This one is quite remarkable - a track that features "The Queen of Fucking Everything" Madonna, but only in the background? It's obviously Miss Lipa's moment, but hell's bells - even Missy Elliott appears in the video! Where's Madge?

And, finally - the best track of the week is by a band that not too long ago were thought of as a bit of a "variety-show" throwback, dismissed by the kids as passé. Nowadays, they have the kudos of being gifted a track for their last album by none other than Benny and Bjorn, and this track is written by the cooler-than-cool Sia! I love it...

As always dear reader, let me know your thoughts....

Saturday 26 September 2020

Butterflies, Whitney vs Allah, fisting gloves and bus stop sanitiser

It was a long time coming. Our last outing - and in fact the very last time it was able to be held - was February's "Polari in Heaven". So it was indeed a joy for all concerned that John-John and I were able to attend the re-emergence of Polari at the venerable Royal Vauxhall Tavern last night!

Our hostess-with the mostest Mr Paul Burston was thrilled, too, resplendent in his Bowie facemask and a butterfly-patterned shirt ["like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon", he observed], as he opened proceedings in the socially-distanced, table-service-only venue...

...and he should well have been proud, as we were treated to a fantabulosa evening's entertainment!

Opening proceedings in a fittingly OTT fashion was the whirlwind of energy that is Amrou Al-Kadhi, aka Glamrou.

Not only is this glamorous creature nominated for the Polari First Book Prize this year for their autobiography Unicorn: The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen, but also a brilliant and funny performer - as their "love song to Allah" So Emotional [yes, it is based on Miss Houston's 80s wibbler], complete with genuflection and an attempted pole-dance more than proved. Mind-blowing - we loved it!

With the applause ringing in our ears, with what could anyone follow that?


How about a paean to lesbian sex, and the (ahem) ins-and-outs of fisting?

And that is exactly what our next reader the lovely Kate Davies provided, in an uproarious and xxx-rated extract from her new book In At The Deep End (shortlisted for the "other" award, for established writers, The Polari Prize 2020). The book's blurb alone is hilarious:

Until recently, Julia hadn’t had sex in three years.

But now:

  • a one-night stand is accusing her of breaking his penis;
  • a sexually confident lesbian is making eyes at her over confrontational modern art;
  • and she’s wondering whether trimming her pubes makes her a bad feminist.

Julia’s about to learn that she’s been looking for love – and satisfaction – in all the wrong places…

Quite an eye-opener, indeed. And utterly brilliant.

After a short break for a pee and a fag, it was time for a little "round-table discussion", with Paul exploring a bit more of the lives of  Glamrou and Kate, and the inspirations behind their writing. 

Both were illuminating. Obviously the harrowing childhood of a closet gayer being brought up in a strict Islamic Iraqi household makes the bravery of Glamrou's chosen career as an outrageous drag performer all the more admirable. However Kate's complex and varied history, including "a short-lived career as a burlesque dancer that ended when she was booed off stage at a Conservative club, dressed as a bingo ball", and culminating in her memorable coming-out as a lesbian when she met her first lover after one such performance in the RVT itself, was equally fascinating.

But, just as we thought it was safe...

...Ms Barbara Brownskirt arrived to take over the stage!

One of our favourites - and longtime regular "antagonist" at Polari - the "Brownskirt woman" (the creation of the adorable Karen McLeod), the "Writer-in-Residence at the 197 bus stop on Croydon Road in Penge" continues to be overlooked by all the book prizes yet keeps up the pressure by reading them to the audience, like it or not! Last night included some dearly loved favourites, including Judi (Judi, Judi) (her love-song for Britain's favourite theatrical Dame) and Cruelty-Free Shoes, but we were also treated to some new ones, including The Blackberries Are Worrying Me and a new lockdown poem The Bus Stop Will Not Be Sanitised!

Here she is, in fine form, at a previous RVT evening:

We love her!

And, after the customary "curtain call", we made the most of the very short time remaining till the current "curfew closing time" of 10pm to mingle with some of the few regulars in attendance among the throng (Sexy Lexi and the lovely Uli from Gay's The Word bookshop among them), before wending our way back home again. I was home by 10.45pm - unheard of for a Friday night in the old days!

I have booked now (thanks, Paul!) for the next outing on 23rd October, featuring readings from Booker Prize-nominated novelist Philip Hensher, and the magnificent Diana Souhami, esteemed biographer of society lesbians such as Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, Gluck, Violet Trefusis, Radcliffe Hall, Romaine Brooks and Natalie Barney.

Can't wait!

We love Polari.

Friday 25 September 2020

I'm about to lose control and I think I like it

This "new improved [sic] Blogger interface" is pissing me off - another old blog post (this time from Saturday) has moved itself for some incomprehensible reason to the top of the Reading List! I have reported this (twice) to the gnomes at Google, but I very much doubt there'll be a swift response...


Never mind, even if it is likely to be a wet and mizzly one, there is another weekend looming, today is pay day, and I am off to the first (socially distanced) Polari since February (this time at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern as the Southbank Centre remains closed) tonight!

Time to get the party started, methinks. We may not be able to go there at the moment, given the circumstances, but what better way to open the celebrations that with the campest flight to Spain ever - and ¡Gracias Disco, es viernes!

Have a great weekend, dear reader!

[Feliz cumpleaños, Señor Almodóvar!]

Thursday 24 September 2020

Neither lawyers nor governments could restrain him

“No journalist of my generation could escape Harry’s influence... we were all brought up on his text books. Everything we knew about constructing an intro, subbing, cropping a picture, designing a page or writing a headline we knew it because of Harry. It was drummed into us... He was to journalism what Doctor Spock was to child-rearing... the journalist who reminds us all why we all wanted to be journalists. At a time when some people are giving journalism a bad name he is somebody who gave journalism a good name. He represents what we could be and what we should be.” - former Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger.

"[He] transformed Fleet Street and [he] transformed the lives of all of us by understanding and appreciating that investigative journalism defines us. It earns our troublesome place in society and it makes clear for every journalist that what we do, for all our flaws, is invaluable." - former BBC head of news James Harding.

“He was the inventor of team journalism. In the editorial chair, he was a human dynamo and set in motion such a stream of powerful stories and campaigns that his rivals (I was one) could only struggle to keep up.” - Donald Trelford, former editor of the Observer.

"Evans was not just the champion of using journalism to set wrongs right. He was also a quintessential British editor who, for all his high-minded causes, understood that journalism was foremost not an intellectual pursuit but a craft – one that demanded muscular and clear language, captivating pictures, arresting headlines, perfect layout of the newspaper page... and, above all else, in a phrase coined by his foreign correspondent, a strong dose of 'rat-like cunning'.” - award-winning investigative journalist Stephen Grey, Reuters.

Sir Harold Evans, considered to be "the finest newspaper editor of his generation", the guiding light of every journalist and journalism student (myself included) for his comprehensive series of books on the subject of writing, editing, layout and impact of the journalistic craft, has died, aged 92. The world owes him a huge debt.

Having ruled Fleet Street for decades, he finally quit after Rupert Murdoch took over The Times and began to enforce his own personal and political influence on the editorial content of the paper. He departed for New York with his wife Tina Brown, latterly editor of Vanity Fair, and never looked back.

His remarkable journalistic campaign achievements included the pardon granted to the unfortunate Timothy Evans, hanged for the murders of his wife and child that were actually perpetrated by his neighbour the serial killer Reginald Christie, and the victory over the pharmaceutical company for proper compensation for the families of children born with deformities from the drug Thalidomide. His pioneering hard-hitting investigative journalism produced a string of world class scoops during his fourteen-year tenure at The Sunday Times, including the Bloody Sunday killings in Northern Ireland, the unmasking of Kim Philby as a KGB agent working for MI6 and publication of the Crossman Diaries.

As former editor of the FT Lionel Barber, in his obituary, says: "Neither lawyers nor governments could restrain him."

And who could ask for a better epitaph than that?

Harold Evans quotes: 

  • "The camera cannot lie, but it can be an accessory to untruth." 
  • "The democratisation of news is fine and splendid, but it's not reporting. It's based on a fragment of information picked up from television or the web, and people are sounding off about something that's not necessarily true." 
  • "Attempting to get at truth means rejecting stereotypes and cliches." 
  • "In journalism it is simpler to sound off than it is to find out. It is more elegant to pontificate than it is to sweat."
  • “Things are not what they seem on the surface. Dig deeper, dig deeper, dig deeper.”
  • “Just find out what the bloody facts are!”

RIP Sir Harold Matthew Evans (28th June 1928 – 23rd September 2020)

Wednesday 23 September 2020

Don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more

As well as the centenary of the distinctly unlikeable Mickey Rooney, another incongruous assortment of "names" share a birthday today, including Bruce Springsteen, Julio Iglesias, John Coltrane, Romy Schneider, Cherie Blair, Walter Pidgeon, Deborah Orr, Aldo Moro, Danielle Dax, Nicholas Witchell, Emperor Augustus, Floella Benjamin, Yvette Fielding and Kublai Khan - and it would also have been the 90th birthday of the legendary Ray Charles.

Truth be told, apart from the classic Georgia On My Mind, this - his only hit here in the UK, way back in 1961 - is the only song of his with which I am really familiar...

...but it is a corker!

Takes the mind off the rain, I suppose...

Tuesday 22 September 2020

Shifting phases

The sunshine is utterly gorgeous today - better make the most of it, however. For today is the Autumnal Equinox, and from here on in, the nights start drawing in! 

The "season of decay" begins...

...but Miss Summer is still here to brighten things up a little:


Monday 21 September 2020

She works hard for it

Another week of Zoom/MS Teams meetings beckons

Oh bugger. I was just getting used to being out in the lovely sunshine, pottering in the garden (as I have been for two days) - several pots of Spring bulbs are done, and loads more mucky pots washed ready for the next season's planting-up - and BOOM! Back to work...

Never mind, eh? On this Tacky Music Monday, there's always Miss Lola Falana and her safety gays, ready to cheer us up...

Money, indeed. That's why we do this shit.

Sunday 20 September 2020

Some say she's from Mars

Just because it is another gloriously sunny day, jolly music seems appropriate, and this song was  on the divine Ana Matronic's playlist last night...

...remarkably, in a "live" performance from the grandest gay cruising ground in the UK, Plymouth Hoe:


She came from Planet Claire
I knew she came from there
She drove a Plymouth Satellite
Faster than the speed of light

Planet Claire has pink air
All the trees are red
No one ever dies there
No one has a head


Some say she's from Mars
Or one of the seven stars
That shine after 3:30 in the morning


Love them!

Saturday 19 September 2020

The fashion pack? She created them...

Heavens. The original "bad girl" of the couture world, fashion designer beloved of both Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana, Queen of Pinkness, Dame Zandra Rhodes is eighty years old today!

All hail.

In her honour, how about...this rather appropriate house favourite?

Many happy returns, Dame Zandra Lindsey Rhodes (born 19th September 1940)!

[More Zandra here]

Friday 18 September 2020

No problem

A man who read a newspaper article saying the amount he drinks is a problem has confirmed that he is actually finding it to be very easy.

Tom Logan, who regularly drinks a bottle of wine or two every night, says it slips down effortlessly and makes everything seem much better.

Logan said: “Far from being a problem, it’s actually cheering me up and giving my evenings a delightfully warm and fuzzy feeling.

“It completely stops me worrying about the news and thinking about the terrifying global slip into right-wing lunacy, climate change and deadly viruses. 

“Also I drink so regularly that my hangovers have stopped being horribly unpleasant and are now just a sort of foggy cranial buffer against the harsh realities of the cold light of day.

“I think I’d have way more of a problem if I didn’t drink.”

Alcohol counsellor Donna Sheridan said: “Lockdown drinking can be a problem. But I find it all goes pretty smoothly so long as I don’t hit the vodka on a Monday.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

A weekend is looming, dear reader - thank heavens for that! It's still nice and sunny here in tropical North London (although the wind is a bit "keen") - and we need to get ourselves in the party spirit to enjoy it.

From (gulp) forty-two years ago this week, how about a bit of "British Hustle" to start the celebrations - and Thank Disco It's Friday!

Have a great weekend, folks!

Thursday 17 September 2020

Not going left - not going right

Having sidestepped it steadfastly so far by clicking "revert" to access the more familiar blog editor, today it seems the "new Blogger interface" is unavoidable, and the option to use the "legacy" system has gone. Shame - I do resent being forced to change for change's sake, but I suppose I'll just have to "put up and shut up". Who am I kidding? It is clunkier than the old system, especially the HTML editor, some things are not working (the list of previous "labels" appears to be missing, for example) and looks downright ugly. All that orange...

It's endemic these days for companies to tinker around with their sites just to appease people who do everything on their phone, rather than on a PC as I do (I reverted back to a simple Nokia from a "smart" phone years ago). Sod the rest of us.

Rant over, and on with the show. 

Today would have been the 95th birthday of the wondrous Miss Dorothy Loudon, so let's let her sum up the mood with the help of Mr Sondheim... 



3.10pm - I have been informed in the Help Forum that if one has more than 5000 labels on one's blog, then when creating a new post no drop-down list of labels will appear, so one has to type them in manually. It also took TWO HOURS after publishing for this post to appear in the Reading List. Shoddy.

Wednesday 16 September 2020

A funny thing happened on the way to the theatre...

For your delectation, a selection of ridiculous things members of the audience have said, courtesy of the venerable WhatsOnStage site:
  • [At The Lion King] "When does Elton John come out?"
  • "How much is a complimentary ticket?"
  • "I wanna see that Henry Vee"
    "No honey, that's a Roman numeral. It's pronounced 'Henry Five'"
  • [At Blood Brothers interval] "Something tells me that this isn't going to have a happy ending"
  • [At Chicago] "What's it about?"
    "I don't know but I think it's set in New York"
  • "Can I buy two tickets for Fanny of the Opera please?"
  • "Would I be allowed to bring a spare pair of shoes as the ones I'll be wearing will be painful by the end of the night."
  • [At Jesus Christ Superstar] "Well, I didn't expect it to end like that."
  • [At Waiting for Godot] "He won't come, you know - his name's not in the programme."
  • "Our pet parrot just loves musicals so can we bring her along to Les Misérables? She is house-trained and knows all the words! We're happy to buy a ticket for her."
  • "This is ludicrous! The whole point of me printing my ticket at home was to get me in quicker via scanning but they've sent me back to you!"
    "Madam, you seem to have cut your ticket in half, through the barcode"
    "Well it wouldn't fit in my handbag!"
  • [At The Railway Children] "We've just bought this kitten from Harrods, we're fine to just take him in in his box, yes?"
  • “What time does the 8 o'clock show start?”
  • “Can I have seats facing the stage please?”
  • “Sorry we only have singles left, Madam.”
    “OK – do you have two of them together?”
  • “What time is the matinee?”
    “Is that 2.30pm?”
  • “I'm sorry but we only have restricted view tickets left.”
    “What does that mean?”
    “It means that you won't be able to see everything.”
    “Oh, at what point will we have to leave?”
  • “I had a tall person in front of me – I couldn't see a thing. You should arrange your audience in height order.”
  • [At Miss Saigon] “What time roughly does the roof open to allow the helicopter to fly in? I'd like to stand outside and watch.”
  • [At Mamma Mia!] “Is Meryl Streep on tonight?”
  • [At the Open Air Theatre in Regent's Park] “Is the theatre air-conditioned?”
  • [Box office staff:] “Hi sir – did you buy your ticket from an agent?”
    [Customer:] “No, he was definitely white.”
  • A lady walked out half way through the first act of Madame de Sade (with Judi Dench) demanding a refund. She thought she'd bought tickets for Madame Tussauds.


Tuesday 15 September 2020

Tip o' the Day

Yes, I am back in work...

Monday 14 September 2020

No-one knows better than Joey

We've had a lovely day in the sunshine - and without a single thought about work, as I booked a sneaky extra day off today. We took a trip to our local garden centre and bought several packs of spring bulbs, wallflowers and pansies, plus some gravel, to get started on prep for next year [the gardener's calendar never stops!], had a pub lunch and then I spent the rest of the afternoon washing pots and just enjoying the balmy weather...

I haven't forgotten, of course, that it is still a Tacky Music Monday. To that end, let's have another - ahem - understated number from the unavowed mistress of such things: today's birthday girl, one of the original "showbiz kittens" Miss Joey Heatherton and her safety gays!

Have a good week, peeps.

Sunday 13 September 2020

Arachnophobia and Fog

The extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers resemble "The Planet of the Spiders" at this time of year...

For once, the Met Office forecast was right - it's been beautiful, sunny and warm here today. I have been making the most of the sultry weather potting up some foxgloves and Dutch irises ready for next year's display, and generally basking in the glow of the ever-declining sun upon the lovely salvias, dahlias and agastache that are at their very best at the moment.

To maintain that laid-back Sunday feeling - how about some "Sunday music" from the man they called "The Velvet Fog", Mr Mel Tormé (who would have been 95 today)..?


[Interesting fact: spiders could theoretically eat every human on Earth in one year.]

Saturday 12 September 2020

A pride that dares, and heeds not praise, a stern and silent pride

Traditionally the event that closes the Summer "Social Season" for our little gang - not that there has been any "Season" to speak of, what with the cancellation of traditional highlights such as Eurovision (although there was a "socially-distanced" evening of programmes by way of replacement), Gay Pride and every live theatre or musical event in town - it will be interesting to see how the Beeb deals with tonight's Last Night of the Proms. There has already been a furore over the threatened rewriting of the lyrics of Jerusalem, and that instrumental-only versions of the classic patriotic finale numbers Rule, Britannia! and Land Of Hope And Glory would replace singers, but apparently the over-cautious PC-mongers at the BBC have been forced to go back on their original statement and they will now be sung in full.

Even without the usual flag-waving audience of Promenaders, I hope they do them justice. Lord knows, we need something to make us proud to be British once in a while...

We'll be singing along at home (via Zoom or otherwise)!

Friday 11 September 2020

What you gonna do? You wanna get down?

There's a sunny and warm spell ahead for the UK, dear reader - the much-vaunted "Indian Summer" may well be on its way. True to form, however, it's not predicted to get really hot until - you guessed it - Monday. So I have taken Monday off in readiness! Yay!

But first, let's get things (ahem) warmed up, as is our wont, in anticipation of the forthcoming weekend. Our "gang" will be having another of our Zoom parties to mark The Last Night of the (socially-distanced) Proms tomorrow, and that could get very loud and raucous...

Following the sad news of the death of founder member Mr Ronald Bell earlier this week, what better than a classic funky number from the marvellous Kool & the Gang? Thank Disco It's Friday, and "get down on it", indeed!

Hey, hey, yeah, what you gonna do? You wanna get down?
Tell me, what you gonna do? Do you wanna get down?
What you gonna do? You wanna get down?
(Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on)
(Get your back up off the wall, dance, come on)

(Get down on it, get down on it)
(Get down on it, get down on it)
Come on and
(Get down on it, get down on it)
(Get down on it, get down on it)

How you gonna do it if you really don't wannna dance
By standing on the wall?
(Get your back up off the wall)
Tell me, how you gonna do it if you really don't wanna dance
By standing on the wall?
(Get your back up off the wall)

'Cause I heard all the people sayin'
(Get down on it)
Come on and
(Get down on it)
If you really want it
(Get down on it)
You gotta feel it
(Get down on it)
Get down on it


Have a great weekend, peeps!

Thursday 10 September 2020

Wednesday 9 September 2020

(Posh) Totty of the Day

Accompanied by another motley crew of assorted "names" including Otis Redding, Julia Sawalha, Topol, John Curry, Rachel Hunter, Colonel Sanders, Michael Bublé, Tom Wopat, Captain Bligh, Gok Wan, Margaret Tyzack, Natasha Kaplinsky, Adam Sandler, Cardinal Richelieu, Janet Fielding, Arthur Freed, Haley Reinhart and Leo Tolstoy, Mr Hugh Grant, stirrer of many a loin during his heyday in the 1980s and 90s, is (gulp!) sixty years old today!

By way of a celebration, how about a snippet of the great man's - ahem - "pop career"?

Many happy returns, Hugh John Mungo Grant (born 9th September 1960)

Tuesday 8 September 2020

Handy for Heathrow

Frogmore Cottage has been listed on holiday rental service AirBNB, it has emerged.

The five-bedroom cottage on the Windsor estate is listed as ‘steeped in Royal history’, ‘handy for Heathrow’ and ‘ideal for family holidays or weekend get-togethers’ by the hosts.

A spokesman said: “The hosts have remained anonymous, but live in the Santa Barbara area of California and have confirmed they are free to do whatever they want with the property since they paid for it.

“They were particularly keen for the property to be available to tourists of non-white origin so they could ‘see how the old bastards like that’.

“It’s already fully booked into next year and they’re hoping to recoup the cash they’ve spent on renovations within a year, after which they’re considering turning it into a benefit hostel.”

19-year-old Oliver O’Connor of Basildon said: “We’ve got it for next weekend. There’s about 60 of us coming loaded up with booze, weed and nitrous oxide whippets.

“Place is gonna get wrecked. Didn’t want the feds to be able to trace us, so I booked under the name ‘Wills & Kate’.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.

[The "real" story]

Monday 7 September 2020


Sad news on the weekend - Mademoiselle Annie Cordy, chanteuse, showgirl, film star and one of the most popular entertainers in France and her native Belgium is dead. She was 92. So esteemed was she that in 2005, she was bestowed with the title Baroness by the King of the Belgians. In her seven decade career, she acted and performed alongside a vast array of stars including Gérard Depardieu, Petula Clark, Charles Bronson, Michel Serrault, Simone Signoret, Tino Rossi, Orson Welles, Claudette Colbert, Edith Piaf and Charles Aznavour...

...and our Patron Saint of luxuriant hair, Dalida! On this Tacky Music Monday, this is a real eye-opener:

RIP Annie Cordy, Baroness Cooreman (born Léonie Cooreman, 16th June 1928 – 4th September 2020)

[More Annie here and here]

Have a good week, dear reader.

Sunday 6 September 2020

Here we are now, entertain us

Our latest houseboy is a joy on washday...

The weather refuses to warm up - despite occasional sunny moments out there, it still isn't pleasant enough to sit out in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers. Pah.

To make up for it, let's watch another energetic thrashing session from our favourite hunky Croatians, shall we?

That woke us all up!

Saturday 5 September 2020

W.O.M.A.N. - say it again!

"I am here for visual effects, and I have two of them."

"My body is the shape I live in and it shapes the way I live."

"For a woman to be considered a celebrated beauty is not exactly a bad thing. I think we have to say that in all reality."

"You know what's the sexiest thing of all? A little mystery."

Scary. Another well-loved icon turns 80 years old today: Miss Raquel Welch, crowned "sex symbol" of the 1970s, chat show favourite, actress, singer, model, fitness guru, "Celebrity Royalty" - and purveyor of her own brand of wigs (indeed)...

Never one to take herself entirely seriously, here are just a few of her campest moments...

Many happy returns, Raquel Welch (born Jo Raquel Tejada, 5th September 1940)

[More Raquel here, here, here, here, here and here]