Glitter, smoke, mirrors, punks, pole-dancing and multitudinous costume-changes

“Polari is a gay-themed salon of interest to anyone remotely interested in culture, whatever their sexual bent. Paul Burston’s achievement in consistently bringing together writers and performers who will stimulate and inspire is remarkable” - Patrick Gale

“Polari brings together the best of new and established LGBT writers and puts them right where they should be – at the heart of the capital's arts scene, on the swanky South Bank. Always fun, always thought-provoking: a guaranteed good night out” - Sarah Waters

Today will mark a milestone for that most "intelligent" of gay evenings - it is the FIFTH anniversary of Polari ("London's peerless gay literary salon") tonight!

I have been attending for four of those years. However, even before I ventured to my first, I had in fact experienced some of the thrill of Polari-type evenings - having already attended during 2008 an LGBT History Month event called "Between the Covers", a retro-electro-dance night called Electrosexual, and one of the sadly-missed House of Homosexual Culture events "The Lavender Library" (ironically, given Polari's current residence, at the Southbank), all hosted or co-hosted by Mr Paul Burston.

And I am so glad we did venture to what was to become my regular monthly dose of literary stimulation back in September 2008 - for among the wonders on that particular Polari evening were my first encounter with the magnificent Sebastian Horsley (RIP), and the unprecedented sight of a room so full of the "gay glitterati" (Bette Bourne et al) that even Marc Almond struggled to get in and soon left...

Here, (at a later Polari) is the marvellous pairing of Mr Horsley and our favourite diarist Mr Clayton Littlewood:

Sebastian Horsley & Clayton Littlewood at Polari in Soho

Over the years, I have seen some sights, I can tell you! Stiletto-wearing men, Fenella Fielding, riot grrls, rock chicks, various shades of trans, performance poets, nudity, Celine's Music Hall turns, Molly Parkin, glitter, smoke, mirrors, punks, pole-dancing and multitudinous costume-changes. Who could forget the tribute by Paul and Rupert Smith to Miss Grace Jones?



Or getting the chance to wear Judy Garland's hat?!



Or indeed (one of) Mr B's striptease(s) while introducing Dan Mathews of PETA to the stage?

Paul the Stripper

Here's some Homovision TV footage from 2009, of Paul talking about Polari:

HOMOVISION - Paul Burston talks about Polari

And finally, saving the best till last, here's little ol' moi (among others) being interviewed by Beige magazine - giving a very camp analysis of what Polari means to me...

[2019 UPDATE: much like the magazine itself, this has now gone from the interwebs. I have a DVD version of this somewhere; if ever I find it, I'll post it]

Five glorious years - long may it reign! [Click on the "Polari" tag at the foot of this blog, and check out all fifty of my reviews.]

Tonight's Polari not only features the announcement of the winner of the Polari First Book Prize 2012, but also readings from Susie Boyt, Neil Alexander, Jeff Kristian and Cherry Smyth. I can't wait (bruised leg or no bruised leg)!

Down in your alleys, seems that anything goes

Last night was quite possibly one of the most popular book launches I have ever attended! Such is the love and respect that Mr Clayton Littlewood (author of the marvellous Dirty White Boy) evidently commands...

Soho's wonderfully atmospheric Madame JoJo's club (one of the last surviving throwbacks to the classic era of that "sleazy city" full of "seedy films") was absolutely packed to the gunnels with the great and the good (and possibly the not-so-good) of the literary, entertainment, and hedonistic worlds. As I mentioned earlier, I was overjoyed to see people who I hadn't seen for ages - among others, Rupert Smith, Dom Agius, Stewart Who?, Kenneth Hill, Uli Lenart from Gay's the Word, and Roger Lloyd-Thompson (aka Dexter Clark the Celebrity Hairdresser). But more of him later...

Mr Littlewood was, of course, sharing the spotlight of the evening with the adorable Maggie & Martin, whose songs interspersed Clay's own appearances on stage. Launching their first album as a duo Union, Maggie K De Monde is famous for her chart success with her bands Swans Way and Scarlet Fantastic, and Martin Watkins is best known for his work writing and performing with Marc Almond. Their appearance last night was particularly meaningful, as it was through their mutual friend Mr Littlewood that they first got in contact with each other (via MySpace), and began writing together.



Here's their excellent single Night Of A Thousand Stars:

Maggie & Martin - Night Of A Thousand Stars

To launch his new book Goodbye to Soho, Clayton first introduced us to the back-story to it all - leaving sleepy Weston-Super-Mare in pursuit of Marc Almond, meeting Quentin Crisp, meeting hubby Jorge, setting up the shop (also called Dirty White Boy) in Old Compton Street under a notorious brothel, the madness of living in the middle of London's most eccentric and sleazy part of town, and of course the many and varied characters they encountered, that inspired Clay to first write his experiences down in his MySpace blog (via which, of course, I first got to meet him).

And, with the more-than-able assistance of Mr Lloyd-Thompson, playing all the characters - transsexual Angie (who was sat in the booth right next to us in the audience!), the wonderfully bitter old queen Leslie, thong fetishist Charlie, brothel madam Sue and her dodgy plumbing - were brought once more vividly to life in a series of joyful (if familiar; we went to see it not once, but twice!) scenes from the stage version of Dirty White Boy.

Clayton Littlewood and Roger Lloyd-Thompson at Polari Soho

Each scene was wonderfully done, and the interplay between Roger and Clay was hilarious. After the break, the story continued - but this time concentrating more on the later years of their Soho life. The shop wasn't doing well, their close friend Chico was dying in prison, the brothel had been raided just one too many times, and a move was inevitable. However, some of the loose ends had been tied up - Leslie had rediscovered his long-lost love (in fact the self-same Charlie the knicker specialist), and the lovely Angie was doing better than ever.

But as the new book continues where the old one leaves off, the situation is grounded in the saddest ending of them all. Clay has dedicated the book to his dear friend - the most decadent, the most sleazy, the most eccentric of them all, the late, great Sebastian Horsley, whose own death was a huge shock to the Soho community. At his funeral procession - a typically understated Victorian carriage hearse pulled by two dressed black horses around the streets of the West End - thousands turned out to give him a big send-off. And with Clayton's sublime recollections, his memory will never be lost.

By way of my own little tribute to the whole evening, here's the man who inspires everyone in Soho - Mr Marc Almond, with Seedy Films:

Soft Cell - Seedy Films

This was a marvellous night, an excellent venue, and a wonderful turnout for a book launch. It was a shame that Jorge (manning the bookstall) had no debit card facility otherwise I would have purchased a copy of Goodbye to Soho and got Clayton to sign it. Never mind, it's yet another excuse to keep in touch...

Goodbye to Soho is available through Clayton's website.

Maggie & Martin's Union is available from HMV.

And, in a great bit of news, Dexter Clark's "Fabulous Head" comes to the Leicester Square Theatre in June and July 2012! A must-see!

Demanding answers to the questions that just don’t matter

"Can you believe that Ian McKellen bought me a library in India? It was in a card I got in the post that said, 'Dear Frances, Sir Ian McKellen has pledged x amount of money - I won't say how much - to build a library in your name to help the underprivileged children of the region.' It's an amazing present isn't it?"

That was one of the more tame revelations that one of my favourite actresses Miss Frances Barber gave us at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern last night....



The occasion was a new cabaret night starring David Mills and Myra Dubois called Mouthing Off!, billed as "a brand new panel show for the Twitter and Facebook generation" (whatever that means - even Myra was at a loss to explain!). Part musical revue, part chat show, part piss-take ("demanding answers to the questions that just don’t matter"), it was a brilliantly entertaining and anarchic evening indeed.



As well as wanting to see (and possibly to meet) Miss Barber, I couldn't miss this event for another very good reason - the fantabulosa Clayton Littlewood was the other guest.

Clay is a great writer - his Dirty White Boy from a few years back (a book that began life as a blog on MySpace, where I first encountered him) is a bloody good read, and we went to see the stage adaptation of it not once, but twice! He is also charm personified, and I would always pass the time of day with him and his hubby Jorge when they still had their boutique of the same name in Soho.

His long-awaited follow-up to DWB, Goodbye to Soho, is having its official launch (in conjunction with the fab Maggie and Martin's new album Union) at Madam JoJo's in (of course) Soho on 10th May - read more about the event.

Clayton told us he was a bit nervous of taking to the stage, not knowing quite what to expect - but as it seemed that no-one else had a clue either, it looked likely he was safe. And a very adept conversationalist he is, too - reminiscing about Soho's "village" atmosphere, about the business going bust and their move out to Holland Park, about the rivalry between Soho and Vauxhall gay scenes, and of course about the eccentric characters he encountered over the years.



On that note, he read a dedication written by the late Sebastian Horsley, who was one of his very good friends. And here - a few years ago at Polari - Clayton and Sebastian play out their first meeting...

Clayton Littlewood and Sebastian Horsley at Polari, Soho

And after the break it was Miss Barber's turn! An actress we have always adored here at Dolores Delargo Towers - we went to see her on stage as "Billie Trix" in the Pet Shop Boys musical Closer To Heaven (for which she won WhatsOnStage Best Actress in a Musical), and again as Ian McKellen/Widow Twankey's sidekick in Aladdin; and among many other roles she played Joe Orton (Gary Oldman)'s sister in Prick Up Your Ears, and she was a remarkable guest star in the wondrous Beautiful People :

Frances Barber - Something Better Than This! (from Beautiful People)

Miss Barber is a genuine insider to the "luvvie" world of acting and actors. Among the guests she brought with her to the RVT was Sir Derek Jacobi's husband, for heaven's sake...

As such, she has loads of gossip to hand - and my heavens, did she share it! Surreptitious back-stage blowjobs, Serena McKellen and his wicked sense of humour, on-stage balls-ups, indiscretions, working with Louis Spence, terrifying theatrical stars, and of being probably the only classical British actor working today who isn't in Harry Potter... She was candid, funny, and fabulous - our hosts David and Myra could hardly keep up.



Despite a slight mishap while trying to climb down the precipitous stairs from the stage, Miss Barber was utterly charming when we asked her to sign her autograph, and to have our photos taken with her (even when quite a crowd gathered around her). Such a class act:

Frances Barber reads Wilde's The Sphinx (from Happy Birthday Oscar Wilde)

An unforgettable night, indeed - little Tony, Emma, Toby and I loved it!

Mouthing Off! at the RVT

I'll never be the same, 'til I discover what became of my old flame

We had a fantastic day yesterday - shopping in Camden Market for some (very nice) bits for the Pride outfit, then on to see Clayton Littlewood's latest run of Dirty White Boy, his play based upon his MySpace blog. We went to see it at its first showing, and loved it.

This time around, the boys have obviously worked hard to polish up the show - alongside the familiar (and brilliantly portrayed by David Benson) characters of Leslie, Charlie and Angie, Clay has added in the poignant tale of the sad demise of his wrongly accused friend Chico into the mix.

This makes for an even better performance than first time around, and the longer format gives us the opportunity to really get to know and to care about the weird and wonderful characters he met during his time at the shop on the corner of Old Compton Street!

The addition of the sexy singer Alexis Gerred (into the "Greek Chorus" role previously performed by Maggie K DeMonde), who performs (mainly topless - yum yum) some scene-setting songs from the likes of Diana Ross (Chico's desired alter ego), Pet Shop Boys and other contemporary pop numbers, is a very welcome foil for the drama. He excelled particularly on Billie Holiday's My Old Flame, a highly appropriate love song for the touching tale of Leslie and Charlie.

Excellent stuff! We rather hope this will not be the last we see of it (a transfer perhaps? Or even TV maybe?). Enjoy this brief snippet...

Dirty White Boy: Tales of Soho Preview Show, July '09

And to round off, here's the wonderful Peggy Lee singing that song from the show:

Peggy Lee - My Old Flame

Lovely.

"House wine? What house? Council?!"

Our gang turned out in force to watch the stage adaptation of Clayton Littlewood's Dirty White Boy at the tiniest theatre in the Trafalgar Studios complex last night - we were actually on the stage with the players!

Many people are already familiar with Mr Littlewood's award-winning tales of the weirdness that is day-to-day life in Soho's Old Compton Street - prozzies, trannies, rent boys, hustlers, eccentrics, hoodies, tramps and old queens - they started out as a blog on Clayton's MySpace page. And here, the sublimely talented David Benson and Clayton himself brought it all to an alarmingly engrossing form of reality.

Mr Benson (who wrote recently about his professional jealousy at the success of fellow Kenneth Williams impersonator Michael Sheen) is indeed a superb actor, with the ability to convincingly transform himself from the ageing queen Leslie (with his acid quips) into his long-lost knicker obsessive love Charlie [both of whom we believe were in the audience!], to Angie proudly showing off her new lady bits, to the brothel madam upstairs, to Clayton's own boyf Jorge, with a minimum of costume accoutrements.

Brilliant stuff, as Clayton (convincingly bemused by the experience) tracks the decline of his shop alongside the (often touching) stories of his most favourite customers.

With musical interludes by the superbly talented Maggie K de Monde (formerly with the band Swansway), we thoroughly enjoyed it - and according to Clayton, there may well be some more outings for this marvellous performance in the Autumn. I think I may well book again if it comes off...

After having a brief chat with Soho's fave decadent dandy Sebastian Horsley, at the kind invitation of Clayton himself we ventured to the Groucho Club [opposite the site of his shop, now a bear emporium called "DV8", and next to the sadly now closed Colony Club)] - a venue that unsurprisingly we had never been to before. We were thrilled to be "on the list", but the thrill was slightly tarnished by the discovery that the after-party was actually in the suite adjacent to the karaoke room [an amateur "artform" I despise - my sister even suggested to Maggie that she might like to take their microphone and treat us to some proper singing instead, but I don't think she was in the mood]...

We had a great evening nonetheless - despite rumours to the contrary the drinks were not too expensive, even if the service was inevitably a bit crap. We spent time chatting to Clayton, Jorge, David, Maggie and their friends including author Kenneth Hill and the lovely and eccentric singer Al Pillay. We did a bit of star-spotting too, but I think it was "Z-list" night - Richard Bacon, Martin Degville, Hattie Hayridge, Aldo Zilli and what looked like they could be members of a cheap girl band like The Saturdays, but no-one was quite sure...

In all, a fantabulosa night!!

Anyway, here's an earlier stage adaptation of DWB from one of last year's Polari nights:

Clayton Littlewood and Roger Lloyd-Thompson - Dirty White Boy at Polari

Fab!

Blog will eat itself

At Polari last night the bloggers came together to celebrate the art of blogging with readings by bloggers, and performances by bloggers... It's like being a Mason ..



What another fabulous night it turned out to be!

Skiving off the opportunity to reveal himself to his adoring public with the feeble excuse of being 10,000 miles away in Sydney, London Preppy sent a (rather pretty) substitute in his friend Mean (sic). The reading almost didn't take place at all as the original substitute reader didn't show up, and the extracts to be read out were only on email. Freedom - typical gay bar - had run out of printer toner, and there was a mad scramble to try and find an internet cafe in Soho to print it out... But, with his choice of a typically cynical blog about gay gym bunnies, we were enthralled.

Celine treated us to another of her bawdy classics, unsurprisingly featuring a whore from Soho, and then the main act took the stage.



Our real star was the ever-lovely Clayton Littlewood, reading (and performing) extracts from his blockbuster Dirty White Boy - Tales of Soho (which began as a blog). Brilliant as always, Clay embellished his reading with a full re-enactment of a couple of scenes:

- Arch decadent dandy Sebastian Horsley was played with spooky realism by - Sebastian Horsley!

Sebastian Horsley & Clayton Littlewood at Polari in Soho

- And the fans' favourite character Leslie was portrayed with effortless campery by none other than the lovely Dexter Clark - Celebrity Hairdresser - minus the wig(!).

Clayton Littlewood & Roger Lloyd-Thompson at Polari, Soho

Brilliantly entertaining stuff! With the house as packed as it was last night, I hope Clayton shifted a few copies of the book.

Yet the biggest laugh of the night was still to come, and it was one that very few people could have been prepared for...



Yes, indeed! As a precursor to the rest of the jollities that DJ Paul Burston had lined up for us, both he and the effervescent Rupert Smith donned skirts and flashed their scanties at the begging masses - complete with "Grace" and "Jones" emblazoned across the important bits! I bet the lady herself would have been proud.

We ended the evening pissed on expensive gin and heady with a range of music from Cole Porter to the 10 minute Macarthur Park Suite by Donna Summer...

A genius night, and I look forward to more divine decadence in January!

Polari

Dick-lit and glitterballs

Whoever would have expected that a night dedicated to talking about books -even gay ones - would be such a success? The glitter-ball-filled Freedom Bar in Soho was packed to the gunnels last night for just that - the Between the Covers event (organised as part of LGBT History Month 2008).

Rupert Smith as MC was a perfect representative of his "organisation" The House of Homosexual Culture. Waspish, witty and bedecked in a foppish cravat, he held the evening together with aplomb.

One of the original ground-breaking lesbian authors of the pre-equality 1960s Maureen Duffy gave a wonderful insight into the difference between writing on queer themes then and now - listening to her talk about the terror that girls felt on entering the famous Gateways club (immortalised in The Killing of Sister George), and the discrimination they received in their daily life was fascinating. Christopher Fowler was very entertaining as he gave his perspective on writing books that many consider to be more at the "erotic" end of the scale.

From the perspective of how the "mainstream" press deals with the tricky problem of reviewing gay literature as opposed to "genre publishing", Suzi Feay from the Independent on Sunday gave us her witty theory as to why gay authors rarely break through into the wider world of literature - they simply don't know how to handle them. (Unless of course you take the reviewer out for a champagne lunch!)

We had a discussion about the similar issues that face the book selling trade, with speakers from Gay's The Word (which almost closed down last year), Prowler Store and Foyles. But the piece de resistance was the dramatised version of Clayton Littlewood's forthcoming book Dirty White Boy - serialised in its original version as a blog on MySpace.

And with the campest music I have heard in a long time, courtesy of prize-winning author Mr Paul Burston, who jointly organised the evening - with his Rubettes-cum-Minets Sauvages flat cap and scarf ensemble - the evening was complete!

A great way to spend a Tuesday evening...