Another fantabulosa time was had by all on Saturday, as the clans gathered
from all over and descended on Dolores Delargo Towers for our Grand Eurovision
party!
As usual, everyone pulled out all the stops on their costumes
[everyone gets nominated a country for dressing-up/flag-waving, one for
food and a third for booze]!
Of course, once the televisual feast began in earnest, all mayhem broke loose as usual - as we scored each of the twenty-five participating countries. Much shouting, jeering and cheering - especially for plucky little Olly!
There was some really weird stuff on offer - none more so than Ireland's Bambie Thug [a personal fave]!
There was also the usual profusion of gimmicky sets, unusual instruments, pyrotechnics, strobes, smoke machines, outlandish costumes and gyrating semi-naked male dancers (hurrah!). It wouldn't be Eurovision if you weren't completely boggled by it all...
Having tallied up all the booze-stained scoresheets, our gang's Top Five were as follows:
1. United Kingdom: Olly Alexander - Dizzy [...and we thought boxing was a butch sport?!]
2. Finland: Windows95man - No Rules! [or should that be "no pants"?]
3. Spain: Nebulossa - ZORRA [let's hear it for the boys!]
4. Switzerland: Nemo - The Code [how the hell did Nemo not fall off that spinning thing?]
5. Croatia: Baby Lasagna - Rim Tim Tagi Dim [possibly the "most Eurovision" song title of the lot!]
Inevitably, our choices were somewhat at odds with both the jury and the public votes...
But first - the interval acts! Our hosts Malin Åkerman and Petra Mede teased us with a performance from a Swedish super pop group “beginning with an A”... It wasn't that one, it was Alcazar!
Of course, there had to be some Abba - their "Abba-tars" from the Abba: Voyage show made a special appearance in place of the "real thing"...
...and there was a faboo Abba tribute, by previous contest-winners Carola, Charlotte Perrelli and Conchita Wurst:
All that done and dusted, it was time for the tortuous bit - first off, the votes from all 37 juries. Once these started to roll in, we began to realise that unlike in this country, Olly's song was not that popular across the rest of Europe. Or is it the inevitable political voting - "anyone but the UK"? In any case, we only got 46 votes! Forty-bloody-six.
The jury favourites were:
Switzerland - 365
France - 218
Croatia - 210
Italy - 164
Ukraine - 146
At least we had Dame Joanna Lumley to cheer us up:
To add insult to injury, then came the even more turgid business of announcing the public phone-in votes, and...
...the UK got nothing! Nil points. Nada. From any fucker in the world.
Talk about feeling rejected. The screams of outrage from our living-room could probably have reached Malmo!
In contrast, that scrawny little bitch from Switzerland ended up with a massive 591 combined points and won the Eurovision Song Contest, despite the fact that Croatia, Israel, Ukraine and France were all more popular with the public.
Deep sigh.
The party was fantabulosa! Sir Tel approved
Never mind, eh? - same time, same place next year?
Of course!!!
FOOTNOTE: Apologies for the blank pink placeholders for every video; this is because my US chums tend not to be able to view the official Eurovision Song Contest videos, so I have downloaded and upoloaded all of them direct to Blogger. See how good I am to you, dear reader?
PS:
I haven't forgotten it's a Tacky Music Monday just because I'm on holiday!
It's a Eurovision blog post.
How much more fucking tacky do you want?!
