We wuz robbed again. Sigh.
This year's Eurovision Song Contest was possibly the worst for years for obvious "block voting". Absolute shit songs gained ridiculously unwarranted
douze points from their neighbours and political "friends", and some decent songs - The Hump, Jedward and that cute Norwegian boy included - were left languishing at the bottom of the pile. Again.
That wailing woman with split ends from Sweden won it. Apparently her record was released commercially a while ago and is already a hit in a lot of countries where there is no sun for six months, so I am not really surprised. The hilariously "so-bad-they're good" Russian grannies came a close second; again no surprise.
However, as we went further down the list, the truly hideous Serbian entry (with votes from all its allies and diplomatic votes from its neighbours) came third, and the piss-poor host nation Azerbaijan were fourth, and so on ad infinitum. Engelbert's song was way better then either of those, and Jedward once again gave the most "Eurovision" (i.e entertaining) performance of all the acts, yet got practically sod all votes. Our party was gob-smacked at the audacity of it all.
Speaking of which, our party was itself the star! As always, Dolores Delargo Towers was bedecked in bunting, flags and tinsel.
We encouraged - nay, let loose - our closest coterie of friends (
fifteen of us this year!) into their dressing-up boxes, and the results were truly magnificent! If you knew our gang, you'd understand that this is of course second nature...
With guest appearances from Aphrodite from Greece, Franz Liszt from Hungary, an Azeri Cossack, a Romanian Gypsy, the living embodiment of the Albanian flag, two Engelberts, two Vikings, a White Russian, a French onion-seller
and Miss Sverige 1976, and enough food and booze to feed an invading army - we had a fantastic time!
Crammed like Tetris into our front parlour, we cheered, we booed, we had fun with artificial facial hair, we voted on our specially crafted scoresheets (thanks, John-John!), we sang, we danced. A lot. I didn't actually get to bed till gone 6am, so that's always the sign of a good party!
Contest highlights? Not much in the way of music, admittedly (although the French girl defintely had the best voice), but there were some classic unintentionally hilarious moments - such as the Estonian boy's independently mobile eyebrows, "Rona the Ropehead" (Graham Norton's words) from Albania, that awful blindfolded performance from Lithuania, the genuine fear at one point that one of the Russian grannies was going to pop her clogs live on TV, the Turkish capes-into-sailboat visual trickery, and the weird musical instruments of Romania.
And the final votes from the Dolores Delargo Towers jury?
1 - Ireland:
2 -
Russia
3 -
France
4 -
Ukraine
5 -
United Kingdom
5 -
Malta
6 -
Norway
7 -
Moldova
8 -
Turkey
9 -
Romania
10 -
Sweden
We wuz certainly robbed, but... same time, same place, next year?
Definitely!
Eurovision Song Contest 2012
