Where the show is gay and bright!

Jan and Basil

As my dear regular reader will be aware, one of our favourite choices for an evening's entertainment is "Old-Time Music Hall" - and there is no finer ensemble in that genre than the company of The Players Theatre. So we were thrilled to get another opportunity to go and see them on Tuesday in the absolutely perfect environs of Wilton's Music Hall, and they certainly didn't disappoint!

With the traditional "firm hand on the gavel", the very funny - and splendidly-waistcoated - Chairman Mr Kevin Gauntlett introduced a fine line-up of old and new faces, including crooner Mr Philip Day, comedy operetta duo Mr Malcolm McKee and Miss Nicola Keen, Miss Hilary O'Neil as Florrie Forde, West End chorine Miss Alice Ellen Wright, comic singer Mr Ben Stock and conjurer Mr Steve Price - all accompanied on the piano by the peerless Music Hall Maestro Mr Tom Carradine.

All the old favourite classic sing-a-long numbers were there: Down at the Old Bull and Bush, Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy, Oh! Oh! Antonio!, Daisy Daisy (A Bicycle Made for Two), The Lambeth Walk, Don't Dilly-Dally On The Way, When Father Papered the Parlour, Joshua, Joshua and so on - and we sang 'em all with gusto!

There were even some new songs in the old style, too - courtesy of Mr Josh Bryant-Jones and his She Pushed Me Into the Parlour.

However, the undisputed "star turn" of the entire revue was the irreverent superstar puppet Mr Basil Brush, beloved icon of generations of children and adults alike and "national treasure" [he's been on and off British telly regularly since 1962]! Here's a (very) short snippet from Tuesday's performance:

...and here's one from the archives - the legend at work on his prime-time show, charming none other than Twiggy almost half a century ago in 1976:

It was an absolute gem of an evening's entertainment, and full kudos for the whole thing must go to the lady who was behind it all - another veteran of children's telly (Crackerjack!) and of the Player Theatre Music Hall [we've seen her performing as part of the troupe on many occasions [click her name and/or the Players Theatre link in the labels at the foot of this post for more] and hoped to do so again on Tuesday, but no such luck - although she did smile and wave when she saw us as she wandered around the auditorium!] - producer/director Miss Jan Hunt!

However, let the last word go to The Maestro, Mr Carradine:

Tom Carradine - Let's All Go to the Music Hall

Faboo!

Of couture, sort-of-tapestry, leaks, Superwoke and rude vegetables

RIP, Norman Tebbitt - nicknamed "The Chingford Polecat", he was for several years Maggie Thatcher's "right-hand man" and her staunchest ally.

It's another snippets post today, dear reader:

• If they fixed the leaks, this wouldn't happen news: The first UK hosepipe ban this year has been imposed in Yorkshire. Better get our garden done before we in London get banned too!
• Fraudsters - 1, A.I. - 0 news: You, too can get a bank account, even if you give your address as Buckingham Palace or 10 Downing Street! The app-based Monzo has managed to keep its licence as a "bank", despite being fined £21million for repeated failures to check applicants' credentials...
• Over Bayeux [Welsh readers and/or fans of Gavin & Stacey will get that one!] news: The world-famous Bayeux Tapestry [that isn't actually a tapestry; it's embroidered] is coming home for the first time in almost 1000 years! It will go on show in the British Museum in 2026, apparently. Now you, too can count the number of phalluses on show.

• Kooky couture news: Paris Fashion Week (Autumn/Winter 2025) is underway, and as ever, the most OTT and completely loopy creations of the couture world are on display - not least those of the House of Schiaparelli, as above! [click to embiggen]
• It's a superhero film, ffs! news: Fox News (who else?) has gone on yet another inappropriate tirade, this time accusing the new Superman film of being too "woke". Sigh.
• And finally: Possibly one of the oddest of "awareness campaigns" - this is National Pea Week! Yes, you heard correctly...

...and we know a song about that, don't we, children?

Saul T. Peter - She Sits Amongst the Cabbages and Peas

Oh, she sits among the cabbages and peas
And she talks to all the little bugs and bees.
They climb up her legs and arms
And all round her other charms.
They see lots of things nobody ever sees.

And the weather? It has been very changeable over the past few days, but apparently another "heatwave" is on its way in time for the weekend. Bring it on!

P'raps you've heard of me: Bert

The UK is being hit by a storm called Bert that takes five sugars in its tea, smokes indoors and wears a flat cap without a hint of irony.

Storm Bert will arrive in working-class areas of Scotland and the North tomorrow, making a terrible mess and tracking crap all over your carpet, but will do so with such no-nonsense bluntness that you will be powerless to say anything.

Eleanor Shaw of Lancaster said: “Oh dear, not Bert. I fear he’s going to be rather plain-speakingly destructive.

“We may be in the North but we own a £535,000 detached home in its own grounds, so we rather got on with Storm Fergus last year. And we actually invited Storm Henk to come back in summer.

“But Bert sounds like he’ll do terrible damage to our Edwardian frontage and I’ll just have to laugh it off because I don’t want to seem a snob. ‘Oh Bert, you’re a force of nature!’ I’ll guffaw while inwardly seething.”

Meteorologist Dr Helen Archer said: “I’m afraid I can confirm that Bert will be a gruff storm with no time for niceties who will not even notice that he has flattened your imported fuchsias and blown the French windows right through.

“However after Bert it’s Conall. Irish gentleman, lovely lilt to the voice you’ll hear on the wind, reminds you of 'Normal People'. Wear your nice maxi-dress.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

And we know a song about 'im, don't we, kiddy-winkies..?

Julie Andrews - Burlington Bertie from Bow

[The "real" story]

A Regular Royal Queen

Today would have been the 80th birthday of the late, much-missed Mr George Logan, better known (of course) as "Doctor Evadne Hinge" [pictured left, above] - one half of one of the most enduring British drag acts of all time. By way of a celebration, here's an extract of my post way back in 2009:

Hinge and Bracket [for it is they] first became a double act with their regular bookings in the early 70s every Sunday lunchtime at a gay Kensington restaurant run by the iconic April Ashley. Their earliest breakthrough into the mainstream, however, was their smash hit appearance in 1974 at the Edinburgh Festival.

Patrick Fyffe (Dame Hilda Bracket) and George Logan (Dr Evadne Hinge) both had brilliant operatic singing voices, and their evocation of middle class gentility in the mythical "Stackton Tressel", suffused with smutty double-entendres, kept their flame alight until they were "discovered" by the BBC in 1977 - resulting in hit radio series such as The Enchanting World of Hinge and Bracket, followed by The Random Jottings of..., and At Home with....

As well as gracing us with their TV commercials for sherry, they appeared in two Royal Variety Performances, their own series of "Gala Evenings", starred on The Good Old Days, landed their own prime-time TV series Dear Ladies, and made a number of records. They also appeared in a televised Royal Opera House production of Die Fledermaus in 1983, conducted by Placido Domingo and starring Kiri Te Kanawa as Rosalinde.

Our own precious copy of the Best Of Hinge and Bracket is often on an evening's playlist, not least for the pair's superlative versions of We'll Gather Lilacs, Zigeuner and A Regular Royal Queen.

Sadly Patrick died in 2002; George moved to France to run a guest house - and departed to join him in Fabulon just last year. But we will never forget the sheer joy that Hinge and Bracket gave us...

Perfect "Sunday Music".

George Logan (7th July 1944 – 21st May 2023)

Hinge and Bracket official website

Have a Banana!

We had such a (much-needed) laugh last night at one of our fave venues Wilton's Music Hall! Mr Tom Carradine (for it is he) is a master of the old-time knees-up round the piano, and indeed we went to one of his Cockney Sing-a-longs at Wilton's in 2019.

This time, he (in collaboration with that musical genius and our longtime friend Marcus Reeves, who we bumped into after the show) has come up with a new show format - the Great British Comedy Songbook. Featuring not just Music Hall numbers, but also a range of funny and often bizarre numbers across the decades; everything from George Formby and Gracie Fields, Noel Coward and Flanders and Swann, through ditties made famous by Tommy Steele, Bernard Cribbins and Victoria Wood. There were sequences featuring comedy songs about bananas, animals and pastiche versions of other famous songs from the shows.

We sang till our throats were hoarse, laughed till our ribs hurt, and generally had a whale of a time!

The show we saw was the first of its format so no footage online for that yet, but here's a sampler of Mr Carradine at Wilton's, to give you an idea of the atmosphere:

Carradine's Cockney Sing-a-long at Wilton's Music Hall

...and here, two songs he did do last night (both great favourites here at Dolores Delargo Towers):

Tom Carradine - When Father Papered The Parlour

Tom Carradine and Thomas Benjamin Wild Esq. - The Marrow Song (Oh! What A Beauty)

Superb!

Tom Carradine's official website

I've got a little cat, and I'm very fond of that

From Victoria to Elizabeth: The Songs Go On! 86 Glorious Years of London's Famous Players' Theatre - the title says it all, really! Saturday's matinee show at the quaint Phoenix Artists Club by Britain's longest-serving Music Hall troupe was a brilliantly entertaining affair, and did indeed feature a vast range of songs from the centuries spanning both Queens' reigns; such standards as My Old Man Said Follow the Van, Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy, A Little of What You Fancy (Does You Good), There's Something About a Sailor, Joshua, Joshua, On Mother Kelly's Doorstep, Dear Old Pals, Give Me The Moonlight, A Bird in a Gilded Cage and (the hilariously-performed) Oh, Oh, Antonio to name but a few, taking in Gilbert & Sullivan and Sandy Wilson for good measure, and we loved it.

We sang our hearts out, applauded like mad and congratulated the troupers after the event - including their new Honorary Vice President (the former "boy wonder of the piano") Mr Bobby Crush!

Host (and Chairman of the Players) Lee Taylor held proceedings together with his narratives about the long history of the Players Theatre Company - including the stars who launched their careers in the troupe, such as Clive Dunn, Peter Ustinov and Hattie Jacques, and the fact that that worldwide smash musical The Boy Friend began as a commission by the Players.

It was of course long-serving Players' Theatre stalwart Miss Jan Hunt who really "stole the show" - especially her brilliant Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow-Wow:

She, and the whole company, deserve glowing praise (yet again!) for giving us such a brilliant show.

Diverting somewhat (but not too far) away from the weekend's jolly japes, this being a Tacky Music Monday I think you too, dear reader, deserve nothing less than a good old-fashioned sing-a-long to lift the spirits! And here are some classics for you, starting with the very number Miss Hunt sang, performed here by a lady whose roots were also in Music Hall before she went on to bigger and brighter things:

Jessie Matthews - Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me a Bow Wow

From the biopic of the greatest Music Hall artiste of them all:

Jessie Wallace as Marie Lloyd - My Old Man Said Follow the Van

Quite a "surprise, surprise" indeed, from Cilla:

Cilla Black's Music Hall (clip from Surprise, Surprise!)

And to finish, a marvellous medley of mirth, merriment and musical mellifluousness (Oooh!):

Georgia Brown - British Music Hall Medley

Have a good week, “raise the roof — and to hell with the London, Chatham and Dover Railway!” *

[* read more about that in the New York Times, of all places]

The Playground of the Gay

[click to embiggen]

It pays to advertise...

Hetty King - Piccadilly

You've sung about your Broadway
We've talked about New York
Have you forgot one little spot
They call it Piccadilly, a place of great renown
In the heart of London Town

Piccadilly, Piccadilly, the playground of the gay
Piccadilly, Piccadilly, where the traffic goes one way
In the day time, there's lots of life life
But at night time well, you're apt to lose your wife
In Piccadilly, Piccadilly, dear old London's broad highway.

The soldier up in Poona, the sailor on the sea
The pioneer and the engineer
The captain of the schooner and the finders of the air
Sing of youth and Leicester Square

Piccadilly, Piccadilly, the playground of the gay
Piccadilly, Piccadilly, where the traffic goes one way
In the day time Grandad's searching for truth
But at night time he's searching for his youth
In Piccadilly, Piccadilly, dear old London's broad highway.

There are gay lads, bad lads, see them rolling along
They are searching for wine women and song

In Piccadilly, Piccadilly,
In Piccadilly, Piccadilly, where the traffic goes one way
In the day time, they parade down the street
But at night-time uh they need someone else's feet
In Piccadilly, Piccadilly, dear old London's broad highway.

In the daytime, you meet lovely brunettes
But at night-time oh God save the King they're wrecks

Indeed.

Bright and breezy, free and easy

Apropos of nothing at all - merely because the faboo Liza Tarbuck opened her Radio 2 show with it yesterday - here's a tune that makes me smile whenever I hear it.

All together, now!

The Billy Watson Band and Singers - All The Nice Girls Love A Sailor (Ship Ahoy)

All the nice girls love a sailor
All the nice girls love a tar
For there's something about a sailor
Well, you know what sailors are

Bright and breezy, free and easy
He's the ladies' pride and joy
Falls in love with Kate and Jane
Then he's off to sea again

Ship ahoy, ship ahoy!

Perfect "Sunday Music"...

A Flash o' Me Bloomers!

A small part of our Spring display in the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers

Spring is in evidence all around us and, despite the closure of just about everything entertaining in the country, at least we still have a garden to keep us out of mischief! Our local garden centre is still open for the foreseeable future, so I we'll be trolling off there forthwith to look at filling the gaps that will inevitably appear once the bulbs start to fade and the herbaceous plants have yet to bloom.

Here's something "pastoral" for your delectation, dear reader...

Saul T. Peter - She Sits Amongst the Cabbages and Peas

Oh, she sits among the cabbages and peas
And she talks to all the little bugs and bees.
They climb up her legs and arms
And all round her other charms.
They see lots of things nobody ever sees.

Lovely...

I got my beer in the sideboard here

Could there ever have been a more quintessentially London band than Chas'n'Dave?

With the sad news today that Chas Hodges, the piano-playing half of the eternally-loved "Cockney" duo [they were both actually North Londoners, born and bred not far from Dolores Delargo Towers; in Edmonton and Enfield respectively], has died, it's the end of an era for good old-fashioned sing-a-long songs, methinks.

By way of a tribute, here's a double-bill of their fabled "knees-up" numbers...

Chas and Dave – Sideboard Song

Chas and Dave – Gertcha

RIP, Chas [Charles Nicholas Hodges (28th December 1943 – 22nd September 2018)], me old mucker!

You'll find us all...

We spent the day in the East End at our friend John-John's place today [and as you can tell from the photo, I fitted in quite nicely with the locals :-)].

To honour the local traditions of the area, how about a good old-fashioned Cockney sing-a-long?

Carradine's Cockney Sing-a-Long at Witon's Music Hall

Oi!

Come along and never mind the weather, all together

Hils, Crog and I travelled across London to our friend John-John's new abode "Chateau Canning" today. It's always fab discovering new bits of London we've never explored before!

Birthplace of such luminaries as David Essex, Windsor Davies, Reg Varney, Danny Dyer, Marty Feldman, Jeremy Kyle and Johnny Speight, the East End locality of Canning Town was not only home to Royal Docks, the Tate & Lyle sugar refinery, the Thames Iron Works and the original West Ham football club, but also Royal Albert Music Hall, which at its peak at the turn of the 20th century could accommodate a 2,500-strong audience - all lapping up a wealth of entertainment such as this (from a review published in 1891):

The comic songs of Mr Fred Langton and Mr Dan Helmore were favourably received; and Miss Lizzie Noble was successful with a descriptive essay entitled "The Pets of the Music Halls." Mr Arthur Ashley's "Drink, Boys," offered a suggestion which was hardly needed under the circumstances; Mr Harry Ford told how he "was the man to do it;" and Mr George Elliott scored with a topical ditty. Mr Robert Carroll sang an amusing parody; the heroine of Miss Jessie M`Nulty's song was a colleen known as "Sweet Norah Grady;" and Mr Fred Herbert, in some topical verses, alluded to the respected proprietor as "an unselfish elf who gave plenty for their pelf." Miss Violet Nelson, male impersonator, met with a good reception; the song and dance contributions of the Bohemian Quintette gave evident delight; Miss Jessie Phillips must be complimented upon an expressive rendering of "Somebody's Father; "the Sisters Western's skipping-rope dance was vociferously applauded; Mr Fred May sang "Nobody sooner than I;" the serpentine evolutions of a performer known as Mons. Hayho were watched with interest; Mr Carl Ostend was successful with a female impersonation and double-voiced song; a selection by the Black Swan trio gave manifest delight; Miss Daisy De'Roy sang in good style; and a clever exhibition of boxing was given by Messrs Clark, Wood, and Grant.

As if I needed any excuse to play a bit of old-time Music Hall, let's celebrate in the company of the lovely (and much-missed) Beryl Reid. All, together, now!

Beryl Reid - Music Hall Sing-a-Long

"Fall in and follow me. Fall in and follow me
Come along and never mind the weather
All together, stand on me, boys.
I know the way to go, I promise you a spree
You do as I do, and you'll do right. Fall in and follow me."

...now I'm off to discover what information (if any) is out there about "Mr Carl Ostend", that 1891 drag queen..!

They said my fiery whiskers made the guns go off too soon

With Harry'n'Meghan's engagement set to dominate every single news programme, tabloid and "lifestyle" magazine article for the next few months, I think it only right that I should add my congratulations by way of an appropriate song...

John Inman - We All Love Captain Ginger

Ginjah, Ginjah
They all know Captain Ginjah
Jolly old pot, O.T. 'ot
Ninety-five in the shade what, what.
I love all the ladies
Not one of them would I injure
All the girls love Gin-Gin-Gin-
Gin-Gin-Gin-Gin-Ginjah!

Indeed.

London derriere

Just in time for Hallowe'en, as always, comes the birthday of our Patron Saint, the Bride of Frankenstein herself, Miss Elsa Lanchester...





We adore her - not just for her unconventional eccentricities, nor for the fact that (even after catching him with a rent boy on the couch, which prompted her to throw not just the interloper and errant hubbie out of the house, but also the sofa itself!) she and Charles Laughton remained Hollywood's (somewhat tainted) "golden couple" for so many years, but for her humorous and unique ventures into the wonderful world of Music Hall, with all its innuendo.

Not least in this, from one of our most treasured albums Songs for a Smoke-filled Room!

Elsa Lanchester - Linda and Her Londonderry Air

Linda and her Londonderry Air,
Linda and her Londonderry Air,
As a vehicle for Linda,
It fitted like a glove,
And if sometimes she exploited it,
Well, heavens above!...



Elsa Sullivan Lanchester (28th October 1902 – 26th December 1986)

Read my previous tributes to Miss Lanchester here, here, and particularly here.

I mean to change my name Bloggs to Bloggini

Just because...

...we played it this afternoon, as part of our esoteric musical soiree to welcome Al and Mark as guests to the extensive gardens here at Dolores Delargo Towers - it's our beloved Patricia Routledge, in an unexpected "audition":

Patricia Routledge - I Want to Sing in Opera

I'm getting so tired of these comedy songs
I want to sing something divine
I'm sure that I'm certain to shine
As a star in the opera line
I simply love Wagner, Mozart, Puccini
Their music is really tip-top
So I mean to change my name Bloggs to Bloggini
And see if I can't get a ‘shop'.

I want to sing in Opera
I've got that kind of voice
I'd always sing in Opera
If I could have my choice
Signor Caruso
Told me I ought to do so
That's why I want to sing in op'ra
Sing in op-pop-pop-popera Hurrah.

I want to play Carmen I just love the part
The music's so awfully sweet
And all prima donnas I beat
If in Faust I played fair Marguerite
I'd warble and trill like a human canary
In recitative or duet
But managers seem to be just a bit wary
My chance hasn't happened as yet.

I want to sing in Opera
I've got that kind of voice
I'd always sing in Opera
If I could have my choice
Signor Caruso
Told me I ought to do so
That's why I want to sing in op'ra
Sing in op-pop-pop-popera Hurrah.

I think she's in, don't you?

The Elephant Man does Cilla Black, and Sherlock Holmes meets the Virgin Mary

As Alison Goldie in WhatsOnStage put it:

Thought you'd seen enough versions of Sherlock Holmes? Think again. This madcap take on the classic, glistening like a jewel in the perfect setting of Wilton's Music Hall, is a treat to season your Christmas with much-needed hilarity.

And "hilarious" it certainly was!

Mrs Hudson’s Christmas Corker, a surreal sort-of cross between panto, Music Hall and good old-fashioned smutty humour, is the brainchild of the legendary Barry Cryer (the writer who has collaborated with just about every late 20th century comedian of note including Dave Allen, Stanley Baxter, Jack Benny, John Cleese, George Burns, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Dick Emery, Kenny Everett, Bruce Forsyth, David Frost, Bob Hope, The Goodies, Frankie Howerd, Richard Pryor, Spike Milligan, Danny La Rue, Mike Yarwood, The Two Ronnies and Morecambe and Wise), his son Bob and the fantabulosa performance troupe Spymonkey.

With the much-overlooked Mrs Hudson (Sophie Russell), landlady of Holmes' 221b Baker Street residence, at its centre, the show tenuously links three madcap adventures for Holmes (Toby Park) and Watson (Aitor Basauri) - including an irreverent investigation into the virgin birth - with Mrs H and her loony neighbour Mrs Brayley (Petra Massey) along for the ride. But of course, with a cast of just four, they all get to play the rest of the characters as well.

What other play has ever featured appearances by Karl Marx, God, Oscar Wilde, King Herod, Fu Manchu and John Merrick together? I, for one, have certainly never experienced a "sing-a-long-a-Jack-the-Ripper" anywhere else! And when it came to The Elephant Man's stand-up impressionist routine, tears of hysterical laughter were streaming down our faces.

All the elements of traditional panto were there (the catchphrase - we had to shout "Corker" every time anyone said "Christmas" - the aforementioned sing-a-long, a pantomime donkey, plenty of slapstick and pratfalls) but, as a show entirely for adults, there were loads of filthy jokes, ribald audience participation and even a flash of willy on stage!

The songs were all very silly, as were the "plots", the dialogue and the improvised backdrops - but one could tell that behind its apparently chaotic "am-dram" appearance, this was a tightly controlled and very well put together production. The backing band (with surprising solo performances from Messrs Park and Basauri on clarinet and sax, respectively), on-stage throughout, were great. The ensemble cast were all excellent - in particular Miss Massey who stole every scene, whether playing a dotty old lady, a "Mafia-esque" Herod or a dirty-minded French-speaking Archangel Gabriel. As a show, even if at times you could hear jaws dropping around the magnificent hall at Wilton's, it works.

It was certainly huge fun, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world!

Mrs Hudson’s Christmas Corker is on at Wilton's Music Hall until 31st December 2014.

Sing a song of love

Their famous Eurovision song Sing Little Birdie (Sing, Sing) was a hit in 1959, four years before I was born. Their last appearance as performers on stage was twenty-seven years ago in a revival of Sondheim's Follies in 1987.



Today, to our joy, we discover that Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson - Britain's favourite singing sweethearts in the mid-20th century - are still alive (and, happily, still living together in Brinsworth House, a care home for retired performers)!

To celebrate Teddy's 94th birthday today, let us pay due homage to the ultimate light entertainment survivors. First, up, their Music Hall Medley:

Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson - Cockney Medley

Their famous Eurovision runner-up song:

Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson - Sing Little Birdie

There's a bird on a branch
There's a branch on a tree
Where we carved our initials there
For all the world to see

'Neath that bird on a branch
'Neath that branch on a tree
Where we promised our true love
For all eternity

Sing, little birdie, sing your song
Sing, you'll help our love along
Sing, little birdie up above
Sing a song of love

And here's a fabulous discovery - a mini-documentary (created by students at MaD Theatre Company) about the history of the form of entertainment (sadly now disdained by "reality"-obsessed TV execs) known as "Variety".

Narrated by another "national treasure" Roy Hudd, Variety of Memories features (among others) a splendid interview with Pearl and Teddy, talking about their memories of that long-lost era:

[2024 UPDATE: Gone from the interwebs, unfortunately.]

Happy birthday, Teddy!

Teddy Johnson (born Edward Victor Johnson, 4th September 1920)

Why am I dressed in these beautiful clothes? What is the matter with me?

It has been a very slow Sunday. I have been in a bit of a haze after partying on Friday for the History Boy's 40th, and our gang's trip to the legendary Wilton's Music Hall (both followed by verrrry late drinkies at Halfway to Heaven- oo-er).

But what a show we were treated to last night! The Players' Theatre Company - founded in the 1930s to keep the spirit of the old-time Music Hall alive - is a fine collective of troupers, and in true Variety fashion they created a wide-ranging bill of entertainment in the fitting surroundings of the oldest surviving Music Hall in the world.

Hosted by the traditional patter and gavel-banging of our "genial and worthy Chairman" Johnny Dennis, we had comedy characters such as John Styles' "Chelsea Pensioner" (who also came back later and did a very entertaining magic show), a pair of energetic young dancers The Todd Sisters (Tiffany and Georgina, who gave us a tribute to The Dolly Sisters as well as traditional rousing Victorian numbers) and another youngster, the banjolele-playing Mark Walsh.

Among the rollicking ditties the marvellous Players' stalwart Jan Hunt sang for us was Why Am I Always The Bridesmaid - which was fab! Here's the original by Miss Lily Morris, for your delectation:

Lily Morris - Why Am I Always The Bridesmaid?

Why am I dressed in these beautiful clothes?
What is the matter with me?
I’ve been a bridesmaid for twenty-two brides
This one’ll make twenty-three
Twenty-two maidens I’ve helped off the shelf
No doubt it seems a bit strange
Being the bridesmaid is no good to me
And I think I could do with a change.

Why am I always the bridesmaid
Never the blushing bride
Ding, Dong, wedding bells
Only ring for other gals
But one fine day
Please let it be soon
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.

Twenty-two times I have been to the church
Following the bride up the aisle
Twenty two maidens have answered I will
Meaning I won’t all the while
Twenty-two couples I’ve seen go away
Just to be on their own
Twenty-two times I’d wished it was me
And gone back home to Mother alone.

Why am I always the bridesmaid
Never the blushing bride
Ding, Dong, wedding bells
Only ring for other gals
But one fine day
Please let it be soon
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.

I had a good chance a week or two past
And took my young man home to tea
Mother got playful and gave him a pinch
And pinched my fiancée from me
Being a widow she knew what to do
No use for me to complain
Then they got married today if you please
I was only the bridesmaid again.

Why am I always the bridesmaid
Never the blushing bride
Ding, Dong, wedding bells
Only ring for other gals
But one fine day
Please let it be soon
I shall wake up in the morning
On my own honeymoon.

Operetta star Marilyn Hill Smith gave us a beautiful tribute to "dear old" Ivor Novello as well as the eternally catchy Oh Velia, Oh Velia from Lehar's The Merry Widow. We all had song sheets for some of the Players' sing-along numbers such as Daisy, Daisy, Down At The Old Bull and Bush, Hold Your Hand Out You Naughty Boy, Pack Up Your Troubles, Knees Up Mother Brown, My Old Man (Said Follow The Van) and the like, but we couldn't quite hit the high notes during Miss Hill Smith's repertoire...

Unfortunately our headliner was the smarmy Don Maclean [not that one], who was never particularly funny as a TV host in the 70s, let alone now. His routines were dated, un-PC and cringeworthy on occasions, as one might have expected from someone whose career began on The Black and White Minstrel Show. More importantly, they were not what we would call "Music Hall".

However he was merely a part of a greater whole, and there were certainly some very memorable moments indeed. Apart from the ever-marvellous Miss Hunt, the two appearances by Julia Sutton were exceptional - especially her hauntingly beautiful take on Albert Chevalier's The Coster's Serenade. [No video footage exists of anyone doing this song unfortunately (in fact there is a shocking lack of actual Music Hall performances on the web).]



But the avowed highlight of the evening was the legendary character comedian Peter John with his "Coster songs" - and, best of all, "Bertha the Barmaid" and her Stout and Bitter routine, which was deserving of a show all of his/her own!

I have written many times about our trips to Wilton's before (fortunately the venue has recently benefited from some Lottery money to help its much-needed conservation), and about our "Late Joys" courtesy of the Players' Theatre. They are national institutions, both deserving of every support we can give - and long may they carry on!

Here's a special feature, on the occasion of the Players' 75th anniversary two years ago:

The Players' Theatre Company 75th anniversary

Players' Theatre Company

Wilton's Music Hall

Late, lamented variety

I am having a verrry slow start to the day, as is my wont on the weekend.

Just having listened to Babs Windsor's fab show on BBC Radio 2 (in which she always does a "Music Hall" slot), I am now suitably woken up and in the mood for a couple of extracts from the late, lamented Good Old Days.



One of the longest-running variety shows the BBC ever had, for some bizarre reason it was axed in the early 80s. Such a shame, for during its thirty years at the top of the ratings, compèred by Leonard Sachs, it featured more than 2000 performers - among them the very best of British showbiz talent, including Morecambe and Wise, Bruce Forsyth, Georgia Brown, Roy Castle, Larry Grayson, Dora Bryan, Arthur Askey, Edward Woodward, Les Dawson, Gemma Craven, David Kernan, Beryl Reid, Bernard Cribbins, Barry Cryer, Sheila Steafel, Roy Hudd, June Whitfield, Frankie Vaughan, Hinge and Bracket, Ken Dodd, Ron Moody, Tessie O'Shea and Barbara Windsor herself, and special guests from America like Eartha Kitt and Dolores Gray...

...as well as these two camp favourites - Danny LaRue and John Inman:

Good Old Days selection 8 featuring Danny La Rue

Good Old Days selection 7 featuring John Inman

The Good Old Days indeed!

Dear Old Pals

We had another rip-roaring time at the Victorian Music Hall evening at Wilton's on Sunday. As you might expect, the fabulous and long-serving Players' Theatre Company (celebrating their 75th anniversary this year, and now regularly resident at the Leicester Square Theatre) were in their element, "at home" at last at this, the most outstanding (and indeed the oldest) of Britain's surviving Music Halls.

Stalwart of the Players' company (and former Crackerjack star) Jan Hunt was not only the lead performer this time around, but also the show's producer. And as well as performing her "signature tunes" How'd You Like To Spoon With Me? and Why Am I Always the Bridesmaid?, she had chosen a fabulous selection of acts - Miss Judith Hibbert (who paid tribute to Gracie Fields), Mr Richard Winch, Mr Ben Stock, Miss Julia Sutton, Romany the Diva of Magic, comic juggler Mr Michael Pearse and opera diva Miss Jane Webster among them.

There are (sadly) few videos out there in internetland of the Players' Theatre star performers, but two of the acts who were on stage included:

Ukulele virtuoso Andy Eastwood, who played a remarkable William Tell Overture...

Andy Eastwood and his ukulele - William Tell Overture

...and the youngest member of the company, 14-year old Ellie Bamber, who sang an an almost innocent version (given her age) of the famous double entendre classic Daddy Wouldn't Buy Me A Bow-Wow and this, a typically mawkish Temperance Movement warning song, Father Dear Father:

Ellie Bamber - Father Dear Father

Here is the original version of Why am I Always the Bridesmaid?, sung by Miss Lily Morris:

Lily Morris - Why am I Always the Bridesmaid?

Ben Stock performed for us a wonderfully rollicking version of When Father Papered the Parlour (here sung by David Jones):

David Jones - When Father Papered the Parlour

Among many other gorgeous Music Hall standards the fantastic Miss Julia Sutton sang was the classic Hold Your Hand Out, You Naughty Boy - and here is a rare recording of the ebullient Florrie Forde singing it:

Florrie Forde - Hold Your Hand Out, You Naughty Boy

Another (rather wonderful) song Miss Sutton sang included the lyric "you told me you loved me, in The Old Welsh Harp down Hendon way". I cannot for the life of me find a trace of this song anywhere on the web, so if anyone has a clue please let me know...

I digress.

Let's finish off with an oddity - a medley of Music Hall classics recorded lord alone knows when by a long-forgotten ensemble called "The Coronets". It's jolly stuff nonetheless, and includes several choons from Sunday that I haven't included so far such as Don't Dilly Dally On The Way and Dear Old Pals (the Players' Theatre Company's traditional closing number):

The Coronets - Make It A Party!

The whole evening was exceptionally good entertainment, and all in aid of the capital restoration fund for Wilton's Music Hall - visit their website for more on how to donate to this magnificent cause!