Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Story of my life

All the alcohol that was being saved for Christmas has already been drunk.

Supermarkets lowered the prices on selected drinks during November as customers will buy them in the absurd belief that they will still be there a month later.

Mary Fisher, from Hatfield, said: “We got a litre of vodka for the festive period and a nice bottle of malt whisky for when we have friends over on Christmas Eve.

“The whisky was particularly good.”

She added: “I reckon we’ve got another two or three Christmas shopping trips to go before we do the real one.”

Alcohol consultant, Julian Cook, said: “The trick is to buy stuff now that you don’t especially like.

“Get in a bottle of Martini Rosso or an eight pack of Kestrel and then congratulate yourself when you open the booze cupboard on Christmas morning.”
The Daily Mash

Of course.


  1. Replies
    1. She was a bit of a bugger at a party, I bet. Jx

  2. As usual, the Daily Mash is a more accurate news source than most "real" outlets.

    1. As they say themselves: "You couldn't make it up". Jx

  3. Where do I sign up to become an "Alcohol consultant?"

    1. You need a PhD in your chosen profession to be a consultant.

      Oh. Wait a minute...



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