Tuesday, 27 December 2016

If you're gonna do it, do it right

I was somewhat premature when I declared our visit to Grandma's Party to be "our last timeslip moment of 2016" - for here we are again, crash-landed awkwardly in the last vestiges of the year when the mobile phone, Eastenders, the "hole" in the ozone layer, Calvin and Hobbes, the Amiga computer, Neighbours, the "AIDS test", the Discovery Channel and "Super Mario" all arrived; the year of Reagan and Gorbachev, of Mohamed Al-Fayed (who bought Harrods) and Madonna, of the "Unabomber" and Live Aid... 1985!

In the news thirty-one years ago this month: unemployment fell in the UK for the third month running; the new Nissan plant in Sunderland was completed, ready to open the following year; the Comic Relief charity was launched; in the ascendant were Microsoft Windows 1.0 (which was released for use on home computers in time for Xmas),the Abu Nidal terrorist group (which wreaked havoc in a series of murderous shootings at airports in Rome and Vienna) and Les Misérables (which made its West End début at the Palace Theatre - and is still in the West End today!), but it was sad news for gorilla conservation as naturalist Dian Fossey was found murdered in Rwanda. In our cinemas: Legend (with Tim Curry), Kiss of the Spider Woman and Back to the Future. On telly: a Wogan Xmas special with the cast of Dynasty, the 25th anniversary of Coronation Street, and Minder (on the Orient Express!).

In the final chart of December 1985: Shakin'-bloody-Stevens was at #1, and also in attendance in this Xmas lineup were Whitney "somebody slap her" Houston, Band Aid (for the second year running), Pet Shop Boys, Aled Jones, Dee C Lee, Phil "not dead yet" [why?] Collins, Queen Madge and Bruce Springsteen - but taking up two positions in the Top 10 was dear, sadly-missed, George Michael and Wham! At number 6 was a return visit for Last Christmas, but not long departed from the top spot was this one - I'm Your Man!

Call me good
Call me bad
Call me anything you want to baby
But I know that you're sad
And I know I'll make you happy
With the one thing that you never had

Baby, I'm your man (don't you know that?)
Baby, I'm your man
You bet!
If you're gonna do it, do it right, right?
Do it with me

So good
You're divine
Want to take you, want to make you
But they tell me it's a crime!
Everybody knows where the good people go
But where we're going baby
Ain't no such word as no!

Baby, I'm your man (don't you know who I am?)
Baby, I'm your man
You bet!
If you're gonna do it, do it right, right?
Do it with me
Come on baby, (ooh, take me home
Please don't leave me here, to do it on my own)

First class information
I'll be your sexual inspiration
And with some stimulation
We can do it right

So why waste time
With the other guys?
When you can have mine
I ain't askin' for no sacrifice
Baby your friends do not need to know!
I've got a real nice place to go

I don't need you to care
I don't need you to understand
All I want is for you to be there
And when I'm turned on
If you want me
I'm your man!

If you're gonna do it, do it right, right?
Do it with me

Now listen
If you're gonna do it, you know what I say?
If you're gonna do it don't throw it away
Don't throw it baby
I'll be your boy, I'll be your man
I'll be the one who understands
I'll be your first, I'll be your last
I'll be the only one you ask
I'll be your friend, I'll be your toy
I'll be the one who brings you joy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your pearl
I'll take you halfway 'round the world!
I'll make you rich, I'll make you poor
Just don't use the door

Do it with me

Seems like yesterday.

More Wham! here, here, here, and - significantly - here.


  1. I still can't believe George is gone. I would have even settled for a visit in the restroom.

    1. "And yes I've been bad
      Doctor won't you do with me what you can
      You see I think about it all the time
      Twenty four seven..."

      Your song!



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