A psychological defence against their own insignificance

Everyone in an office appears to be playing out a clichéd role in a slightly over-dramatic way, a new employee has noticed.

Since joining a patio heater firm two weeks ago, accounts assistant Tom Logan has been puzzled by his colleagues’ attempts to make everything seem important.

Logan said: “I began to suspect they were weird when someone told me not to get on the wrong side of the HR woman, Tina, because she could ‘make life very difficult for me’.

“I doubt I’m going to have a bitter feud with a 55-year-old woman who’s nothing to do with me, unless working for a small business in Ipswich is a constant power struggle.

“The sales team are always shouting things like ‘Who’s actioning that?’ and ‘I’ve got your back, Steve!’. I think they’re pretending to be in the army.

“Then there’s the secretary, Lorna, who acts like she’s indispensable and has loads of influence with the boss. The most tragic thing is it’s straight out of Mad Men.

“I can understand people wanting a psychological defence against their own insignificance, but that’s no excuse for the security guard staring at me like Vin Diesel.”

As my first week back in work drags inexorably on (and on, and on), so this becomes more and more evident.

The Daily Mash

Of course.