End of term

My School Disco looked nothing like this

Glee-style ‘prom nights’ are just school discos repackaged for the gullible, it has emerged.

Teenagers confirmed that when you strip away the expensive American-influenced bullshit, a ‘prom night’ is just a room full of spotty people trying to touch each other’s genitals.

16-year-old Stephen Malley said: “I stood around with my friends talking about console games. I tried talking to Gemma Leeson at the end but it was weird and we were both scared.

“I thought wearing a suit would make me more confident but it just reminded me of when I had to go to court for stealing a hard drive from Maplin.

“In summary, no major rites of passage were completed. It was just like my dad described his school discos except afterwards I went home and watched internet pornography.”

Parent Emma Bradford said: “I thought proms were just an American thing, but apparently I have to shell out £500 because my daughter’s done a few GCSEs at a comprehensive in Romford.

“In my day you had a disco where all the boys stood around awkwardly in ironed jeans and the girls all looked as though they were wearing clown make-up.

“That’s unless you were one of the cool kids who had to have their stomach pumped after drinking a bottle of Smirnoff in the toilets.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.