Marriage vs pub

Britons who prefer weekends without expensive social obligations have opposed gay and straight marriage.

The legalisation of same-sex marriage has left many without a single weekend that isn’t occupied by some friends’ costly and time-consuming matrimonial joining.

32-year-old Tom Logan said: “By the end of Friday I just want to dick around for a couple of days, maybe go to the pub, not dig my suit out and get on a train to Kent.

“I was struggling to cope with the volume of heterosexual weddings. Now all the gay people I know are suddenly getting married, it’s like a tsunami of inconvenience and cake consumption.”

He added: “I am happy for them, I suppose, but Jesus Christ I’ve not got a free Saturday until 2017.

“Can’t we just ban all weddings except for one Saturday a year, when they all happen simultaneously and you can just stay home and watch them on the internet?”

Stephen Malley is to marry his boyfriend next month: “We considered a modest civil partnership thing in the local registry office, then we thought fuck it, we’ve had to spend a fortune attending straight weddings over the years.

“So it’s going to be in Florida, I’m afraid.”

The Daily Mash.

Of course.