Gigantic Muslim Spiders

A nice older couple inexplicably read the Daily Mail, it has emerged.

Tom and Susan Booker are consistently kind and considerate to both family members and complete strangers, despite enjoying a daily dose of demented frothing hate and undiluted paranoia via their favourite newspaper.

Nikki Hollis, the couple's 33-year-old daughter, said: “It’s weird because they really are sound. Last month dad drove 80 miles in the middle of the night to help me when my car broke down.

“They are generally nice to people and I’m not aware of them being murderous or insane. Maybe they just stare at the pages without reading the words.”

The Bookers’ Daily Mail is delivered at breakfast time, so that they can read articles about devious asylum seekers, homosexual benefits fraudsters and giant African hornets while having their toast.

However Tom Booker explained: “Sometimes they do a thing where you cut out the tokens to try to win a cottage. Even better, they have been known to give away free packets of seeds at the weekend.

“Other than that we mainly get it to keep up on what the cast of 'Celebrity Sex Pit' has been up to.”

The Daily Mash

Of course.

Read more about the Mail's "sick filth".

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