Wednesday, 9 July 2014


The Top 40 will take into account songs that pop into your head for no reason, it has been announced.

After recently being changed to include streaming, the UK charts will now also include tunes that appear in your brain due to completely unfathomable mental processes.

An Official Charts Company spokesman said: “The criteria for entering the charts now include things like remembering your ex liked Will Smith and then having 'Wild Wild West' stuck in your head all fucking day.

“It’s already having an impact on the charts. Thanks to a number of random rememberings, the current UK number one is the 1982 hit 'Centerfold' by the J Geils Band.

“You know, the one that goes ‘na-na-na-na-na-na’ about a bloke who’s unhappy because his girlfriend’s in 'Razzle', or something.

“The new system means next week’s number one could be anything from Phil Collins’ 1985 hit 'Sussudio' to 'You Can’t Get Better Than A Kwik Fit Fitter'. This is a very exciting time for music.”

However, critics pointed out that the songs which pop into your head were usually the ones that made people wish they had been born deaf.

Office worker Nikki Hollis said: “It’d be OK if it was the Beatles or Radiohead, but it’s always things like 'This Beat Is Technotronic' going round my head like a malevolent brain parasite.

“In Bruges was on the other night and thanks to a convoluted unconscious thought process involving Colin Farrell and Miami Vice, I caused 'Smuggler’s Blues' by Glenn Frey to re-enter the top 40.”
The Daily Mash.

Of course.

And should you happen to get an "earworm" stuck in your head today, here's the one addictive song I always turn to in order to get it to shift out of my sub-conscious:

From Paris to Berlin by Infernal. Works every time!


  1. Thanks to your post title, Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss him goodbye) by Bananananarama (how does one stop spelling that?) has just entered the Top 40. Blast!

    1. ...along with Cozy Powell "Na Na Na", Trio "Da Da Da", Massiel "La, La, La" and Kylie Minogue "Can't Get You Out of My Head" (how appropriate)! Jx

  2. All that Na Na Na just made "Sexy Eyes" by Whigfield enter my Top 40. I am obviously turning to Infernal for assistance...

    1. You've just made "Saturday Night" pop into my head now!

      I am desperately singing "pumping for love, pumping for love" in an effort to shift it. Jx


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